[HoosierDaddy]

You'll probably feel fine tomorrow. I did the second day.

[amphibian]

Mezla PigDog, on Apr 21 2009, 04:48 PM, said:

Yeah, maybe to outward appearances! There is no way many girlfriends are happy about ex's, even if they say they are. I am party to the inside female gossip of "I know he isn't going to get back with her and I know I shouldn't make a fuss but ........ I fucking hate the bitch"

Past history doesn't mean much. I've learned that and avoid asking anything along the lines of "So.... who'd you date before me?"

However, if your significant other's ex is around in a situation like that, wouldn't you at least give an honest attempt to see what kind of person he or she is? The statement you made up comes off as someone who's become unfairly judgmental for irrational reasons.

[teholbeddict]

amphibian, on Apr 22 2009, 12:23 AM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on Apr 21 2009, 04:48 PM, said:

Yeah, maybe to outward appearances! There is no way many girlfriends are happy about ex's, even if they say they are. I am party to the inside female gossip of "I know he isn't going to get back with her and I know I shouldn't make a fuss but ........ I fucking hate the bitch"

Past history doesn't mean much. I've learned that and avoid asking anything along the lines of "So.... who'd you date before me?"

However, if your significant other's ex is around in a situation like that, wouldn't you at least give an honest attempt to see what kind of person he or she is? The statement you made up comes off as someone who's become unfairly judgmental for irrational reasons.

It may seem unfairly judgemental or irrational but what Mez is saying is in fact the truth alot of the time. We ladies can be quite competitive and territorial! It probably doesn't make us seem like the best of human beings I admit, but it is the truth! The ex is almost always a sticky subject in cases like this, especially if she's around to the extent that was described in the original post. Even if we say we're cool with the ex hanging around or happy to tolerate it in most cases we're really not! Trust me we're having a bitch fest on the inside while pleasantly smiling on the outside, and then we go rant and let it out with our other female friends!

This post has been edited by teholbeddict: 22 April 2009 - 05:33 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

Relationships invite all sorts of irrational thinking into the mix... that's why they are complicated. I've experienced this on both ends, being both the object of jealousy and the jealous person. Can be complicated, that's for damned sure.

[Darkwatch]

teholbeddict, on Apr 22 2009, 01:32 AM, said:

It may seem unfairly judgemental or irrational but what Mez is saying is in fact the truth alot of the time. We ladies can be quite competitive and territorial! It probably doesn't make us seem like the best of human beings I admit, but it is the truth! The ex is almost always a sticky subject in cases like this, especially if she's around to the extent that was described in the original post. Even if we say we're cool with the ex hanging around or happy to tolerate it in most cases we're really not! Trust me we're having a bitch fest on the inside while pleasantly smiling on the outside, and then we go rant and let it out with our other female friends!

I find this very...


Funny.

[teholbeddict]

Darkwatch, on Apr 22 2009, 12:35 AM, said:

teholbeddict, on Apr 22 2009, 01:32 AM, said:

It may seem unfairly judgemental or irrational but what Mez is saying is in fact the truth alot of the time. We ladies can be quite competitive and territorial! It probably doesn't make us seem like the best of human beings I admit, but it is the truth! The ex is almost always a sticky subject in cases like this, especially if she's around to the extent that was described in the original post. Even if we say we're cool with the ex hanging around or happy to tolerate it in most cases we're really not! Trust me we're having a bitch fest on the inside while pleasantly smiling on the outside, and then we go rant and let it out with our other female friends!

I find this very...


Funny.

Funny but true!

[Darkwatch]

teholbeddict, on Apr 22 2009, 01:35 AM, said:

Darkwatch, on Apr 22 2009, 12:35 AM, said:

teholbeddict, on Apr 22 2009, 01:32 AM, said:

It may seem unfairly judgemental or irrational but what Mez is saying is in fact the truth alot of the time. We ladies can be quite competitive and territorial! It probably doesn't make us seem like the best of human beings I admit, but it is the truth! The ex is almost always a sticky subject in cases like this, especially if she's around to the extent that was described in the original post. Even if we say we're cool with the ex hanging around or happy to tolerate it in most cases we're really not! Trust me we're having a bitch fest on the inside while pleasantly smiling on the outside, and then we go rant and let it out with our other female friends!

I find this very...


Funny.

Funny but true!

I am aware of the veracity of the statement.

Still, funny.

[HoosierDaddy]

Yes. Women can be very... catty. I've had girls fight over me. My ego never recovered.

[Darkwatch]

HoosierDaddy, on Apr 22 2009, 01:36 AM, said:

Yes. Women can be very... catty. I've had girls fight over me. My ego never recovered.

Interesting...

or

Depressing...

or

Both...

[HoosierDaddy]

Both. Definitely both.

I can hear Bruce Springsteen singing "Glory Days" in my head right now.

[Zanth13]

sleep was interrupted by pain, yucky

[Traveller]

amphibian, on Apr 21 2009, 09:10 PM, said:

I think you need to sit down with your girlfriend and ask her to articulate exactly what bothers her. There's bound to be some mixture of the rational and irrational that's causing this hostility. You can probably speculate as to what it is, but for whatever reason, people like it when they can tell you this kind of stuff.

The rest of the talk will probably be spent reassuring her that she is indeed the one you want and that you're aware of and in control of the situation.

Look at this way - you are choosing to be with people who are so awesome that your entire family continues to associate with them despite the breakup. Staying friends with ex-girlfriends is usually a good sign of maturity and taste. Apart from my extremely incompetent handling of the breakup of my first relationship, I'm friends with all my exes. Gods, I was an idiot with that first one.

The ex in this case was my first breakup. I also always assumed that being on good, friendly terms with her was a good thing. However, it's been impossible to keep in touch with her as other girls seem to find this completely unnatural, and refuse to believe that there are no other feelings involved.
I've talked it over (a lot!) with my gf, she knows it seems irrational, even to her (my ex is now married) but it still doesn't change the way she feels about it.

The 'awesome' thing is the problem here - everything my ex does, my mother especially, seems to think is wonderful (considering what she used to say about her when we were together, this is a turn around!) and I think my gf feels she's competing. Or something.

Mezla PigDog, on Apr 21 2009, 09:48 PM, said:

Traveller, on Apr 21 2009, 10:25 AM, said:

Plus, everyone elses gf's seem to be fine about ex's, and all seem to get on great.

Yeah, maybe to outward appearances! There is no way many girlfriends are happy about ex's, even if they say they are. I am party to the inside female gossip of "I know he isn't going to get back with her and I know I shouldn't make a fuss but ........ I fucking hate the bitch"

I like this! (I'd pretty much guessed that much). My real problem is that my brother and his gf are now best friends with my ex. So it makes it difficult to go and visit my brother, as my gf doesn't want to run the risk of running into her. (They'd get on fine if I'd never even told her we used to go out together -'honesty is best,' yeah right!

Me and my good intentions, ho hum.

[Tsundoku]

@Amph
For keeping your head when all about you were losing theirs and blaming it on you - respect.

@DW
Agreed. Very funny.
But not when you happen to mention that to them. That way lies tears, the Dark Side and cold lonely nights with only your hand for company.

Cheers,

La Sombra, Sith Lord Darth Call(o)us

This post has been edited by Sombra: 22 April 2009 - 11:43 AM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

My arm is in plaster...for 4 weeks. I can barely use it. And to make matters worse, it's my right. No football or other sports. Sadface.

"opens sympathy box"

This post has been edited by Ain't_It_Just_: 22 April 2009 - 08:42 AM

[Centzon Totochtin]

Booooooooooored




and horny

[Tapper]

Centzon Totochtin, on Apr 22 2009, 11:39 AM, said:

Booooooooooored




and horny

The downsides of willpower, hmm?

and a pat on the back for AIJ. Tough times

[Tsundoku]

Tapper, on Apr 22 2009, 08:23 PM, said:

and a pat on the back for AIJ. Tough times

Well, it's not as if he's going to be patting himself any time soon.

On the back that is.

@Centz
I almost feel sorry for that Pizza guy when he knocks on your door. Almost.

Cheers,

Darth Callus, can't (won't) lend AIJ a hand ...

This post has been edited by Sombra: 22 April 2009 - 11:48 AM

[Mezla PigDog]

Working from home seemed like a good opportunity to finish my easter egg. Unfortunately, it was a large easter egg and there was a lot left

[Zanth13]

@ Hoosierdaddy,

you lies to me, I do not feel fine on the 2nd day... I mean I do, but its because of the provided narcotics...

until those took effect i was not feeling well...

[HoosierDaddy]

Sorry... I did feel fine. But... I don't think my gf at the time felt good her second day. Hope your mouth gets back to normal soon!