[Lady Bliss]

QuickTidal, on 14 October 2021 - 01:23 PM, said:

Mom has a tumour on her pancreas. They don't know if it's malignant or benign. She's having surgery to remove it, and bloodwork this AM. She has no symptoms. They came across something on the pancreas while they did a CT scan near the area on another issue.

I hope to hell it's not cancer, because it sounds like Pancreatic cancer is bad and acts really quickly. I don't want to lose my mom.

This in the same year that my stepdad had his prostate cancer removed, had an immuno-neuro disease diagnosed and spent a year trying to get his meds right so he can live normally and not be sent to a LTCH, my MIL died of a rare neuro disease, and we just found out it's a hereditary gene that my wife (he siblings and cousins) and all our kids all have a 50% chance of getting.

2021 sucks y'all.

I’m so sorry to hear about this. Hopefully whatever it is, they have caught it early since they weren’t even looking for it. Don’t google.

[Lady Bliss]

amphibian, on 05 October 2021 - 05:08 PM, said:

Summertime and weekends are when the most car accidents happen. It's a volume thing - there's more people out driving then.

I have taken over a bit more care duties for my grandmother with Alzheimer's in order to give my mother a break as she searches for hired help 3x a week. So much of it is poop management as she's in the moderate stages, but what's getting my goat today is that when it's my turn to cook dinner before heading home, it's super hard to cook something everyone will eat because my father is a vegetarian (and a total jerk about it too) and my grandmother insists on meat and she's super picky.

Food doesn't need to be this hard, but two jerks (father and grandmother) are making it tough.

I think given my experiences here, if I get Alzheimer's, I'm checking out quite a bit before I get to the stage where my grandmother is. This could be and almost is family/self breaking stuff to provide the level of cues, care, and cleanliness she needs. My mother is a stubborn person, so I am glad she's asking for help and finally moving on the hired help I've been quietly propelling towards her for a year now.

You are such a caring person. I know you are doing all you can. Please make sure you get breaks too.

[Malankazooie]

Double messing with groove post: we're going to have a hard freeze tonight. Bummer, I was hoping to get one last burst of production from my heirloom tomato line up against the sun side of the house. Oh well, I'll have to gather the puny ones and probably make a soup out of them. The growing season comes to an end tonight.

[Tiste Simeon]

MP in the UK stabbed to death at a local meeting. Politics aside, this is awful but I do assume the people who were mocking and degrading Jo Cox will be silent.

[Cause]

Okay so the job story continues

Option 1: move to Boston. Earn 100% salary and 8k to help with moving costs. Breaking my lease will cost at least 4500.

Option 2: earn 90%. Travel to Boston frequently and stay in hotels near the company hq.

Now losing ten percent hurts but honestly from the little looking I did, that ten percent difference will be erased pretty easily by the increase in rent in Boston. My current rent is 1500 all utilities included In Center city. Rent in the surrounding areas of Boston (so not even Boston propert) is minimum 1800-2000 excluding utilities and most often the places I have seen were a downgrade.

I can see why they want me to move. Less headache for the company. But my cousins here, I’m seeing somewhere here (nothing serious yet, but def won’t survive long distance), and after a little over a year in Philly I fee like I somewhat understand the city.

The company would pay the hotel and airfare so the downside is the constant travel. Whcih regardless it’s a travel intensive job that will involve visiting lab all over the east coast.

I’m inclined to forgo the extra money and stay. Any thoughts?

[Lady Bliss]

Cause, on 15 October 2021 - 08:34 PM, said:

Okay so the job story continues

Option 1: move to Boston. Earn 100% salary and 8k to help with moving costs. Breaking my lease will cost at least 4500.

Option 2: earn 90%. Travel to Boston frequently and stay in hotels near the company hq.

Now losing ten percent hurts but honestly from the little looking I did, that ten percent difference will be erased pretty easily by the increase in rent in Boston. My current rent is 1500 all utilities included In Center city. Rent in the surrounding areas of Boston (so not even Boston propert) is minimum 1800-2000 excluding utilities and most often the places I have seen were a downgrade.

I can see why they want me to move. Less headache for the company. But my cousins here, I’m seeing somewhere here (nothing serious yet, but def won’t survive long distance), and after a little over a year in Philly I fee like I somewhat understand the city.

The company would pay the hotel and airfare so the downside is the constant travel. Whcih regardless it’s a travel intensive job that will involve visiting lab all over the east coast.

I’m inclined to forgo the extra money and stay. Any thoughts?

Personally, I love Boston and would live there in a heartbeat. I’ve traveled a lot for work in the past, and living out of hotels gets old fast. Philly isn’t too far away for visits.

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 15 October 2021 - 09:49 PM

[Malankazooie]

Also, weigh the benefits of living in Boston and being in a world class research epicenter and the opportunities that can present themselves that may not materialize if you live in Philly and travel there infrequently.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Malankazooie, on 15 October 2021 - 09:30 PM, said:

Also, weigh the benefits of living in Boston and being in a world class research epicenter and the opportunities that can present themselves that may not materialize if you live in Philly and travel there infrequently.

Philadelphia actually is a world class city for research (particularly the University of Pennsylvania). Not quite as great as Cambridge though I'll grant... but also a lot closer to Princeton and NYC.

Also, people in Cambridge / Boston generally don't talk to strangers; it's more common in Philadelphia. (I lived in Cambridge for a while, and a few friends of mine recently moved back to Philadelphia from Cambridge.) So unless you meet people through work (or meetups maybe?) it would probably be difficult to make random contacts.

OTOH you're less likely to get shot in Boston....

[QuickTidal]

Thanks to all for the kinds words of support, it’s very helpful right now. I’ll update as soon as we know more.

[Lady Bliss]

Azath Vitr (D, on 15 October 2021 - 10:20 PM, said:

Malankazooie, on 15 October 2021 - 09:30 PM, said:

Also, weigh the benefits of living in Boston and being in a world class research epicenter and the opportunities that can present themselves that may not materialize if you live in Philly and travel there infrequently.

Philadelphia actually is a world class city for research (particularly the University of Pennsylvania). Not quite as great as Cambridge though I'll grant... but also a lot closer to Princeton and NYC.

Also, people in Cambridge / Boston generally don't talk to strangers; it's more common in Philadelphia. (I lived in Cambridge for a while, and a few friends of mine recently moved back to Philadelphia from Cambridge.) So unless you meet people through work (or meetups maybe?) it would probably be difficult to make random contacts.

OTOH you're less likely to get shot in Boston....

Really? I’ve always made friends with Bostonians pretty easily. And they can PARTY! Also, there is nothing like a baseball game at Fenway!

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Lady Bliss, on 15 October 2021 - 11:05 PM, said:

Azath Vitr (D, on 15 October 2021 - 10:20 PM, said:

Malankazooie, on 15 October 2021 - 09:30 PM, said:

Also, weigh the benefits of living in Boston and being in a world class research epicenter and the opportunities that can present themselves that may not materialize if you live in Philly and travel there infrequently.

Philadelphia actually is a world class city for research (particularly the University of Pennsylvania). Not quite as great as Cambridge though I'll grant... but also a lot closer to Princeton and NYC.

Also, people in Cambridge / Boston generally don't talk to strangers; it's more common in Philadelphia. (I lived in Cambridge for a while, and a few friends of mine recently moved back to Philadelphia from Cambridge.) So unless you meet people through work (or meetups maybe?) it would probably be difficult to make random contacts.

OTOH you're less likely to get shot in Boston....

Really? I've always made friends with Bostonians pretty easily. And they can PARTY! Also, there is nothing like a baseball game at Fenway!

'Boston is the least friendly city in the United States. In 2011, a pair of psychologists from the University of Michigan undertook a study to find out which city in America is the meanest. It was, of course, Boston, which we all knew.'

https://www.esquire....ties-in-the-us/

Personally I do have more experience with Cambridge than with Boston proper. But of course Cambridge is where MIT and Harvard are.

There is nothing like a baseball game, and that nothing is dreamless sleep....

[Lady Bliss]

Azath Vitr (D, on 15 October 2021 - 11:28 PM, said:

Lady Bliss, on 15 October 2021 - 11:05 PM, said:

Azath Vitr (D, on 15 October 2021 - 10:20 PM, said:

Malankazooie, on 15 October 2021 - 09:30 PM, said:

Also, weigh the benefits of living in Boston and being in a world class research epicenter and the opportunities that can present themselves that may not materialize if you live in Philly and travel there infrequently.

Philadelphia actually is a world class city for research (particularly the University of Pennsylvania). Not quite as great as Cambridge though I'll grant... but also a lot closer to Princeton and NYC.

Also, people in Cambridge / Boston generally don't talk to strangers; it's more common in Philadelphia. (I lived in Cambridge for a while, and a few friends of mine recently moved back to Philadelphia from Cambridge.) So unless you meet people through work (or meetups maybe?) it would probably be difficult to make random contacts.

OTOH you're less likely to get shot in Boston....

Really? I've always made friends with Bostonians pretty easily. And they can PARTY! Also, there is nothing like a baseball game at Fenway!

'Boston is the least friendly city in the United States. In 2011, a pair of psychologists from the University of Michigan undertook a study to find out which city in America is the meanest. It was, of course, Boston, which we all knew.'

https://www.esquire....ties-in-the-us/

Personally I do have more experience with Cambridge than with Boston proper. But of course Cambridge is where MIT and Harvard are.

There is nothing like a baseball game, and that nothing is dreamless sleep....

Hmmm maybe I naturally get on with Bostonians since I’m from Connecticut… :-)

[Lady Bliss]

Wait a second… how is Philadelphia not the meanest city? Eagles fans are fucking scary!

https://www.google.c...-proved-it/amp/

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Lady Bliss, on 16 October 2021 - 12:27 AM, said:

Wait a second… how is Philadelphia not the meanest city? Eagles fans are fucking scary!

https://www.google.c...-proved-it/amp/

Bostonians: don't talk to strangers
Philadelphians: will talk to strangers and beat them up (... or shoot them)


'HitchBOT, the cheerful hitchhiking robot that had made cross-country trips across Canada, the Netherlands and Germany, had intended to travel across the United States [...]

“HitchBOT’s trip came to an end last night in Philadelphia after having spent a little over two weeks hitchhiking and visiting sites in Boston, Salem, Gloucester, Marblehead, and New York City,” [...]

[...] gets beheaded in Philadelphia'

https://www.cnn.com/...feat/index.html

[Lady Bliss]

Azath Vitr (D, on 16 October 2021 - 01:02 AM, said:

Lady Bliss, on 16 October 2021 - 12:27 AM, said:

Wait a second… how is Philadelphia not the meanest city? Eagles fans are fucking scary!

https://www.google.c...-proved-it/amp/

Bostonians: don't talk to strangers
Philadelphians: will talk to strangers and beat them up (... or shoot them)


'HitchBOT, the cheerful hitchhiking robot that had made cross-country trips across Canada, the Netherlands and Germany, had intended to travel across the United States [...]

“HitchBOT’s trip came to an end last night in Philadelphia after having spent a little over two weeks hitchhiking and visiting sites in Boston, Salem, Gloucester, Marblehead, and New York City,” [...]

[...] gets beheaded in Philadelphia'

https://www.cnn.com/...feat/index.html

LOL I can totally believe that!

[Malankazooie]

Dealt with customer support for our CRM system a few years back before it was taken over by Oracle. They were located in Boston and the individual I talked to seemed pleasant enough. Of course it goes with the job description, so probably not a good indicator on how genial the daily, cross paths on the street with, citizenry is. She was amiable and was discussing slice of life expierences while going over the script to log a support ticket (she was concerned about a blizzard that was about to hit the wider Boston area). I was thinking more though in terms of industry symposiums and "ted talk" like conferences that I imagine happen pretty regularly in Boston.

[Mezla PigDog]

Cause, on 15 October 2021 - 08:34 PM, said:

I’m inclined to forgo the extra money and stay. Any thoughts?

Does it have to be either / or? Can you ask them to hold the Boston offer so you can start living in Philly and take up the Boston offer a later if you so choose? Work with lots of travel gets very tiring for many people after a while but others love it.

A life sciences career has way more options in Boston than Philly long term but it doesn't mean Philly is a bust. A big shot life sciences consultant and business development chap advised me to quit the UK and move to Boston or California if I wanted to make it. I didn't and I'm doing fine but there are undoubtedly more jobs in those areas.

The New England Biolabs campus is an idyllic place to work, for example. I visited a few times and it's lab mecca.

[Cause]

Mezla PigDog, on 16 October 2021 - 06:56 AM, said:

Cause, on 15 October 2021 - 08:34 PM, said:

I’m inclined to forgo the extra money and stay. Any thoughts?

Does it have to be either / or? Can you ask them to hold the Boston offer so you can start living in Philly and take up the Boston offer a later if you so choose? Work with lots of travel gets very tiring for many people after a while but others love it.

A life sciences career has way more options in Boston than Philly long term but it doesn't mean Philly is a bust. A big shot life sciences consultant and business development chap advised me to quit the UK and move to Boston or California if I wanted to make it. I didn't and I'm doing fine but there are undoubtedly more jobs in those areas.

The New England Biolabs campus is an idyllic place to work, for example. I visited a few times and it's lab mecca.

I think it’s partly just bad timing. I just signed a lease and moved i to my new apartment this Friday! The thought of moving cities, packing again, finding a new place and starting a new job in a nee city all in a month also just seems too much right now.

In 6 months, if the job feels more stable I’d be open to discussing it again and at that point I’m sure if I said I’d move I could ask for the extra money etc than.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Mezla PigDog, on 16 October 2021 - 06:56 AM, said:

Cause, on 15 October 2021 - 08:34 PM, said:

I'm inclined to forgo the extra money and stay. Any thoughts?

Does it have to be either / or? Can you ask them to hold the Boston offer so you can start living in Philly and take up the Boston offer a later if you so choose? Work with lots of travel gets very tiring for many people after a while but others love it.

A life sciences career has way more options in Boston than Philly long term but it doesn't mean Philly is a bust. A big shot life sciences consultant and business development chap advised me to quit the UK and move to Boston or California if I wanted to make it. I didn't and I'm doing fine but there are undoubtedly more jobs in those areas.

The New England Biolabs campus is an idyllic place to work, for example. I visited a few times and it's lab mecca.

Looks like New England Biolabs is technically in Ipswich, about 48 minutes away from Boston. (Not far from Dunwich....)

[Imperial Historian]

Cause, on 16 October 2021 - 08:41 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 16 October 2021 - 06:56 AM, said:

Cause, on 15 October 2021 - 08:34 PM, said:

I’m inclined to forgo the extra money and stay. Any thoughts?

Does it have to be either / or? Can you ask them to hold the Boston offer so you can start living in Philly and take up the Boston offer a later if you so choose? Work with lots of travel gets very tiring for many people after a while but others love it.

A life sciences career has way more options in Boston than Philly long term but it doesn't mean Philly is a bust. A big shot life sciences consultant and business development chap advised me to quit the UK and move to Boston or California if I wanted to make it. I didn't and I'm doing fine but there are undoubtedly more jobs in those areas.

The New England Biolabs campus is an idyllic place to work, for example. I visited a few times and it's lab mecca.

I think it’s partly just bad timing. I just signed a lease and moved i to my new apartment this Friday! The thought of moving cities, packing again, finding a new place and starting a new job in a nee city all in a month also just seems too much right now.

In 6 months, if the job feels more stable I’d be open to discussing it again and at that point I’m sure if I said I’d move I could ask for the extra money etc than.

Do they not have a relocation package? Normally you'd expect some money to relocate for a new job, but you'd probably be unable to get it if you moved after 6 months.

If you do move to Boston, I'd try and negotiate up on the salary, the company will be forking out a lot for travel and hotels if you are travelling up from Philly regularly so it's beneficial to you both, and you are right a salary goes a lot further in Philly.

Good luck whatever you do!