Malazan Empire: What's messing with your groove? - Malazan Empire

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What's messing with your groove?

#27961 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 04:00 PM

View PostMezla PigDog, on 23 July 2021 - 09:01 PM, said:

I have just purchased a storage trolley on wheels for my kids arts and craft materials and I'm so pleased with my organisational skills. I can't wait for it to arrive so I can do some sorting. I ordered lots of extra inserts to go into it for even more thorough organising. Is this sensible adult rock bottom? It's Friday night for christ sake.


It doubles as a bar cart and you're planning for the future.
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#27962 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

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Posted 28 July 2021 - 05:01 PM

View Postamphibian, on 28 July 2021 - 03:14 PM, said:

Who did she get drunk with?


No clue. She has workmates she is always hanging with (they are night shift). And she feels like they are the only ones she can really truly vent to. I am aware of how that reads, and yes, I am worried. Less about an affair and more about the deterioration of spousal intimacy. And yes, couples counseling is my next step, whenever I can find one, get a job, and no longer am caring for a household and four kids mostly alone.
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#27963 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 31 July 2021 - 10:13 AM

Can I have some advice from dog owners please. My neighbours got a dog during the pandemic so he has never learned to be at home alone. Four adults live in the house so it is rarely empty even now restrictions have eased but on the occasions it is the dog barks and howls constantly. I guess I should tell them right? They look after him and train him really well so I assume they don't realise. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about the noise although ultimately that's what's bothering me since I'm not one of those dog people who think they're amazing or whatever. What's the best way to say it?
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#27964 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 31 July 2021 - 10:22 AM

Please get your dog to shut the fuck up
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#27965 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 31 July 2021 - 05:58 PM

View PostMezla PigDog, on 31 July 2021 - 10:13 AM, said:

Can I have some advice from dog owners please. My neighbours got a dog during the pandemic so he has never learned to be at home alone. Four adults live in the house so it is rarely empty even now restrictions have eased but on the occasions it is the dog barks and howls constantly. I guess I should tell them right? They look after him and train him really well so I assume they don't realise. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about the noise although ultimately that's what's bothering me since I'm not one of those dog people who think they're amazing or whatever. What's the best way to say it?



They likely have no idea.
Record it w your phone. Play it for them. Ask them to do something about it.

Also, dog owners frequently mess up the alone for the day transition. Biggest error is telling the dog to 'stay', then leaving. A well trained dog will sit, by the door, expecting the usual 'owner returns' and when they don't, for hours, all dogshit is lost.
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#27966 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 01 August 2021 - 05:15 AM

A dog that barks and howls for those long hours needs to learn how to be in a place and be content. They likely need to crate train it better, so it learns how to be chill where it is until they come back.

I have two dogs and would think that a dog doing this audibly next door for so long would irritate the hell out of me and my partner + our dogs.
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#27967 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

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Posted 02 August 2021 - 03:59 AM

Still struggling with the missus. I am never sure how to handle our big fights, because as a stronger, more forceful, and more confident personality, my wife takes charge of fights and makes them a lot about her own grievances without really hearing mine. And she and I have different memories (she is confident hers are correct and will hear no different) so trying to provide specific examples of what is bothering me does not end well (not that I really expect such "examples" to go over well, but I am more of a support-my-statements-with-fact kind of person).

I think some of it has to be the stress of the past two years which have been filled with the kind of things many are struggling with: overwork in the medical field (she is a paramedic), severe chronic covid after-affects (her), child-custody fights with both our exes, job loss (me), etc. It really has been non-stop for so long now that I guess it is surprising we are doing as well as we are?

I want to relax and let things slide, and I already feel like I let a lot of things slide (our bathroom is disssssgusting), but I also feel compelled to keep pushing for order in the household. We have ants all over our kitchen, so I am nag-y about leaving food out and cleaning up after yourself (found brownie crumbs from her on the living room floor tonight). The kids, as kids do, are hard to keep on task with their chores, and I am trying to get her to help enforce with her girls (my step-daughters). Her laundry has cluttered our floor for months, and I keep asking for her to clean it up for my sanity's sake. Etc. Etc.

I know couples counseling still has to be the next step. She wants this latest argument to have cleared everything up. I am still feeling the strain and know this isn't over. I wish to the gods for a break.
"You don't clean u other peoples messes.... You roll in them like a dog on leftover smoked whitefish torn out f the trash by raccoons after Sunday brunch on a hot day."
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#27968 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 03 August 2021 - 04:15 AM

Ridiculously difficult time trying to find calcium carbonate antacids that don't have sweeteners added to them. 'Sugar free' all seem to have artificial sweeteners replacing the sugar... just don't add that shit to it.
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#27969 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 03 August 2021 - 08:56 AM

Apparently it helps the medicine go down.
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#27970 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 09 August 2021 - 05:45 AM

Jacked up my knee, which caused my frustrating in-laws to stay an extra week on top of a two week visit to “help.” There are not enough quotation marks in the world to put around the word help to adequately indicate my sarcasm.
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#27971 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 09 August 2021 - 12:23 PM

I've got a wedding to go to at the weekend which is looking increasingly like being a shambles. Mr Not a Blacksmith is one of the best men, and has just about managed not to melt into a puddle of stress with all the groom-chasing he's had to do because the groom is... well, something something chocolate fireguard.

I caveat this with saying I've never organised a wedding, and I understand it is a lot to juggle and can be highly stressful. However.... the website was designed by one of the bridesmaids who has mostly used it to have digs at the groom ("By the way, he's punching" etc) - it has three different times for the ceremony listed, all the information about accommodation is wrong, the food menu was available for a the first week the website was live and nobody has seen it since, nobody has been able to register dietary requirements properly (which the caterers have largely refused to accommodate anyway - one of the results of which is yours truly is making a gluten free and vegan friendly cake) and in the past two days we've all had eight different emails asking for further details from guests.... I really hope that it all just somehow comes right on the day and everything works, but given I'm not a fan of big crowded events in the first place I can't say it's filling me with joy.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 09 August 2021 - 12:26 PM

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#27972 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 01:17 AM

How is this your/your partner's job?

I empathize with the scramble, the frustration, and the not knowing anything. But when I got married, my partner and I took care of everything - the henna party, the menus + accomodations for everyone with dietary needs, the Knot filling out, hotel blocks, transport, explaining the ceremony, and so on.

That was for 300 people and the best part about it was that on the day of, the guests and my friends needed to do nothing beyond what they wanted to.

If advice is wanted, I say you're doing the right thing with making a cake you can eat and that stepping away to let the couple get things in shape is healthier than running yourself ragged. I'm sorry it's this way.
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#27973 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 05:16 AM

Agreed. This should not be on you, nor will it be your fault if the day goes wrong. I know you want your friends to have a lovely day and supporting people to help make it happen is always appreciated but the details are not your responsibility...
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#27974 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 06:00 AM

Completely agree with both of you - the groom is Si's best friend so I think he feels obliged to not let him fail (I'm not exaggerating how genuinely useless he is at anything remotely organisational - bride has done 98% of it all for this reason). For me it's more an issue of trying to manage Si's stress levels than anything to do with whether the bride and groom have things organised - I'm pretty bloody minded about it and just annoyed that he's stressed and run ragged because they didn't sort things out that they should have. If they genuinely couldn't do it themselves that's what wedding planners exist to help you with - not your guests.

Amph, I'm impressed with managing 300 guests. This couple are screwing up with less than half of that, so props to you both.

To clarify - I was asked to make the cake by bride and groom because they've struggled with the catering. No, it shouldn't be on your guests to fill in for the fact you booked shoddy caterers, but that aspect I don't really mind. It's something I have made before so it's not as if I had to find something from scratch. We're taking food up for ourselves on the day anyway because the caterer has point blank refused to even entertain someone with a nut allergy (Si).

Thanks for the space vent to guys - I'm sure it'll be fine on the day (and it's not our responsibility if it isn't), the run up has just drained what cautious enthusiasm I had.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 10 August 2021 - 06:08 AM

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#27975 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 02:31 PM

I know how you can help Si's stress levels... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

By listening to him and being a faithful pillar of support of course!
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#27976 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 02:34 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 10 August 2021 - 02:31 PM, said:

I know how you can help Si's stress levels... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

By listening to him and being a faithful pillar of support of course!


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#27977 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 04:38 PM

Unless specifically assigned/requested a 'best man/usher/groomsman/bodyguard' has exactly one job: make sure the Groom gets there on time, dressed as required, sober, without food poisoning, visible wounds and/or venereal disease. Avoiding blood feuds, ninja assassins, survivalist paramilitary groups, alien parasites, undead/pseudo-undead infection, and demonic possession would be a plus, but not mandatory.
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#27978 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 05:10 PM

View PostAbyss, on 10 August 2021 - 04:38 PM, said:

Unless specifically assigned/requested a 'best man/usher/groomsman/bodyguard' has exactly one job: make sure the Groom gets there on time, dressed as required, sober, without food poisoning, visible wounds and/or venereal disease. Avoiding blood feuds, ninja assassins, survivalist paramilitary groups, alien parasites, undead/pseudo-undead infection, and demonic possession would be a plus, but not mandatory.

Hmm with all those threats, maybe all us forumites should also show up at this wedding too assist...
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#27979 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 05:49 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 10 August 2021 - 05:10 PM, said:

View PostAbyss, on 10 August 2021 - 04:38 PM, said:

Unless specifically assigned/requested a 'best man/usher/groomsman/bodyguard' has exactly one job: make sure the Groom gets there on time, dressed as required, sober, without food poisoning, visible wounds and/or venereal disease. Avoiding blood feuds, ninja assassins, survivalist paramilitary groups, alien parasites, undead/pseudo-undead infection, and demonic possession would be a plus, but not mandatory.

Hmm with all those threats, maybe all us forumites should also show up at this wedding too assist...


What could possibly go wrong?
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#27980 User is offline   Cyphon 

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Posted 10 August 2021 - 06:12 PM

View PostAbyss, on 10 August 2021 - 05:49 PM, said:

View PostTiste Simeon, on 10 August 2021 - 05:10 PM, said:

View PostAbyss, on 10 August 2021 - 04:38 PM, said:

Unless specifically assigned/requested a 'best man/usher/groomsman/bodyguard' has exactly one job: make sure the Groom gets there on time, dressed as required, sober, without food poisoning, visible wounds and/or venereal disease. Avoiding blood feuds, ninja assassins, survivalist paramilitary groups, alien parasites, undead/pseudo-undead infection, and demonic possession would be a plus, but not mandatory.

Hmm with all those threats, maybe all us forumites should also show up at this wedding too assist...


What could possibly go wrong?


I feel like if the forumites turn up then all those threats will manifest... looking at no one in particular...
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