TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 27 August 2018 - 10:46 AM, said:
The son of one of the other staff at the centre is in my new D&D group that I just joined - largely because his mother asked me to send him the link when we spoke about it. She has since bombarded me with messages about him suffering from depression and needing to get out more an what have you. I've no issue with that, but I'm feeling very pressured to be his new best friend come babysitter and that's a hell of a lot of small print I was unaware of in just handing him the group link.
That's a minor grumble.... now I've got him messaging all the time (including at bizarre early hours of the morning) and to cut a long story short let's just say he's clearly crushing VERY hard. The family live near the falconry centre and called in on Saturday on what was very clearly a contrived reason for him to talk to me (I was in the middle of flight training for some of the newer folks, so was polite but distant and busy). Another round of messages from both - mother about "he was so happy to see you" and him with the whole "You looked really nice today" stuff.
No, I looked tired, hot and bothered and one of the chicks we use to feed the birds had burst earlier in the day so I had gunk everywhere on me. Thanks for trying I guess?
This culminated this morning in a message out of the blue "It'd be lovely to do another Hawk Walk sometime". Hawk Walks are one of the private experiences we offer - you go out with one of the falconers and a Harris Hawk and have the bird flown to you. I am definitely having a word with the owner (who's a friend) about if he books one in to make sure I am inescapably busy with something else!
This makes me sound horribly harsh, but 1) The answer would be no to literally anyone, I'm not long out of my trauma counselling for the past abusive relationship. To say I need time to myself is an understatement. And 2) If I wanted a puppy I'd go see the Dogs Trust.
No, it doesn't (talking about that last paragraph there). That guy sounds like he needs a therapist, not you. I know how awkward it can be if someone you've just been nice to because you are just nice glomps onto you. I don't know how helpful that would be, but maybe try and tell him that you do not feel comfortable with all those messages and stuff? I don't know about how well you know his mother and whether it would seem okay to suggest that she should encourage him to see a therapist. I know it can sounds harsh, so no idea how to approach it. But I totally understand the importance of D&D and how disappointing it can feel when there's someone who hampers your enjoyment by just being there (I almost left my D&D group at one point because I was risking a panic attack after someone from my old school joined the group; fortunately I was lucky and the rest of the group decided they're rather keep me around than the new player). Basically, what I would do is put a foot down firmly on any romantic aspirations and be like, yah, it's okay to play in the same group but that's all there is to it. Which I understand can be awkward, but I think that if he's really there for the game and not just to hover around you, he'll get over it.
I'm not being very helpful, I know. Ah, but I'd like to use this opportunity to say how envious I am that you have a falconry centre nearby and how great it is to see you regain happiness!
Edit: Almost forgot why I came here... Our boiler seems to be breaking, right when the weather decided a drop in temperature is a great idea. I mean, it is, I am enjoying the cooler weather, but I HATE cold showers in the mornings.
This post has been edited by Puck: 27 August 2018 - 07:24 PM
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