[RACHEL]

T'rav Elar I think I am a little confused by your post. If I'm understanding things correctly your wife is and has been pissed at you lately. You guys talked and she gave you the laundry list of things you needed to change or work on and to your knowledge you have done all that shes asked, correct? Then you join instagram and tag a friend and she flips out, tells you that the only reason you have been trying to improve things with her is as a way to impress your work friends (one women in particular) and tells you its over? I know I'm missing a LOT of details and background knowledge but this seems like a huge overreaction on her part over something so simple as joining instagram. Sounds real crappy to be you right now. Unless I'm totally misunderstanding, this sounds like a scenario I've seen and heard time and time again. One person in a relationship starts distancing themselves from the other for tons of different reasons. The other person notices the changes, tries to improve things, but its too late and the other person has already checked so far out of the relationship that they find any silly reason to use to call things quits. Whatever her reasons are it sounds like she is already so checked out that there is not a whole lot you can do to change her mind. Sorry to hear things are so crappy for you right now and I hope I'm wrong and you can work things out.

[Cause]

The 5000 oligarchs of my countries major political party just voted for our next president and suprise suprise they chose the lesser of two evils. Things were looking slighly optimsitic.

They however also just voted to make land expropriation without compensation government policy. If they follow through expect the economy to collapse ie Zimbabwe.

So should I move to USA, UK, Canada or Australia? How long will it take to learn norwegian?

[worry]

How do they justify the non-compensation part of that equation??

[Macros]

the usual way I should imagine.

they don't.

[Mentalist]

worry, on 21 December 2017 - 08:11 PM, said:

How do they justify the non-compensation part of that equation??

Macros, on 21 December 2017 - 09:53 PM, said:

the usual way I should imagine.

they don't.

Now-now, come on.

I'm sure their highly overpaid advisors second cousins will come up with some flowery patriotic verbiage about "the greater good of the South African people" that can be packaged to the media as tasty soundbites.

[Traveller]

Pretty much sums it up Rachel. The Instagram thing is based on insecurities that go way back. She doesn't think rationally about stuff like this - and she stewed on it for 3 days before I corrected her assumption, so I think the truth will make no difference. It's only a small thing, but for her it's the last straw.

Which is also tragic, as all the time I've been trying to get out of that middle age trap where you start getting set in a style or ways because you're comfortable (after the kids came along I don't think I bought new clothes for about 4 years) and shes been assuming it's for someone at work.

She's home now but not talking. I know if i start anything, however benign, like 'so how's your day?' She'll use it to show how pissed she still is by continuing to ignore me. It all seems so surreal, we should be sitting here laughing at the tv or something instead of getting all fucked up over nothing.

I called my mum yesterday as it was her Birthday, and when she asked how I was.. I kind of cracked up for a while. It was good to talk things through though, it definitely helped me get through today.

I'm hoping she'll crack and talk.. but I think her mind is made up. I think she's going to try and ride out Christmas for the kids and then do something silly right after.

Amph, it's amazing how many difficult situations I've faced with an image from Demons Souls... that of two gigantic gates opening, to reveal a colossal armored Knight, standing in a courtyard. You enter, dwarfed, and realise all the surrounding walls are topped by men with crossbows. The gates close behind you... and you know that you can still win.

This post has been edited by T'rav Elar: 21 December 2017 - 10:10 PM

[Tiste Simeon]

Cause, on 21 December 2017 - 08:08 PM, said:

The 5000 oligarchs of my countries major political party just voted for our next president and suprise suprise they chose the lesser of two evils. Things were looking slighly optimsitic.

They however also just voted to make land expropriation without compensation government policy. If they follow through expect the economy to collapse ie Zimbabwe.

So should I move to USA, UK, Canada or Australia? How long will it take to learn norwegian?

Don't come to the UK. We're swiftly turning into a tinpot, backwards-looking pathetic nation run by rabid right wing cretins and their media mogul owners.

[amphibian]

Traveler, have you read about the Love Languages? It's not a cure all, but it can help find out how your partner prefers to be shown they are important to you and how you prefer it.

I don't mean for you to start babbling about this to her, just for you to use to figure out how to connect a bit more.

It might also help to say that you feel bad that she's upset enough to silent treatment you and that you'd like to talk about it rather than try and connect over mundane stuff first. It's not an apology, but it does signify that you're roughly aware of how she is feeling.

Good luck.

[Tsundoku]

Tiste Simeon, on 22 December 2017 - 01:11 AM, said:

Cause, on 21 December 2017 - 08:08 PM, said:

The 5000 oligarchs of my countries major political party just voted for our next president and suprise suprise they chose the lesser of two evils. Things were looking slighly optimsitic.They however also just voted to make land expropriation without compensation government policy. If they follow through expect the economy to collapse ie Zimbabwe.So should I move to USA, UK, Canada or Australia? How long will it take to learn norwegian?

Don't come to the UK. We're swiftly turning into a tinpot, backwards-looking pathetic nation run by rabid right wing cretins and their media mogul owners.

Thought you were talking about the USA or us there for a second, had to reread it.

Norway is wonderful, but expensive. And has winter for 11 months of the year. Plus they speak Swedish.

Come to 'Straya, you won't even have to move hemispheres. Hell, in parts of Perth you will have the dominant accent.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 22 December 2017 - 02:59 AM

[Cause]

worry, on 21 December 2017 - 08:11 PM, said:

How do they justify the non-compensation part of that equation??

Well this is a complicated question with a very easy answer:

1) They say they will expropriate white farmers land to give it back to black people but they will do it 'in a sustainable way'. So as they often do they decide based on ideology not practicality. Most farmers owe debt on their land. If you take it without compensation the farmer loses, the banks lose and previous versions of this plan show that the supposed black beneficiary gains almost nothing. (according to the governments own studies of their work in this regard)

2) They have bankrupted the fiscus so they cant afford to pay. The law actually already allows government to take the land, as long as they pay fair market price determined by a government tribunal to redistribute it. The program is a failure because the majority of such farms are now unproductive if not entirely fallow and of course there was evidence of corruption and mismanagement.

3) Government and traditional leaders (Zulue and Xhosa Kings, chieftains etc) own about 30% of all the land in SA. They will let black people build houses and farm this land, if they play ball with the traditional leaders that is, but they don't get to own it. Since they own nothing they have no capital and don't qualify for loans from banks etc since they have no collateral. So this system is a failure. They cant get better crops, farming equipment etc Its literal serfdom

4) It takes more to be a farmer than owning a plot so when government offered people the land or the money most took the money. This however meant the statistics of land ownership didn't change. So millions of rands were spend only for people decide they want the land too.


In other brilliant moves despite the fact that the national airline is bankrupt, the national broadcaster is bankrupt, the national arms manufacturer is bankrupt, the national electricity producer is bankrupt and the tax collections for this year fell short by R50 billion which caused 2 out of 3 ratings agency to declare my country is in junk territory (the 3rd has us listed as negative outlook to junk, expecting to junk us in feb) the president thought it was a good idea to announce free tertiary education! Despite two commissions he himself set up saying it was unaffordable and the treasury department and finance minister telling him the country cant afford it.

[Macros]

At the dentist

[Silencer]

It's Christmas. My parents are visiting. And I'm sitting on a beach in Surfers Paradise, Australia.

Ughhhhh.

(note, that may not sound bad to some of you, but I am decidedly not amused right now.)

[Traveller]

Silencer, on 23 December 2017 - 06:29 AM, said:

It's Christmas. My parents are visiting. And I'm sitting on a beach in Surfers Paradise, Australia.

Ughhhhh.

(note, that may not sound bad to some of you, but I am decidedly not amused right now.)

What I would give right now to be doing that... maybe swap your parents for mine to avoid a confusing and awkward moment, but you know what I mean.

[Morgoth]

Cause, on 21 December 2017 - 08:08 PM, said:

The 5000 oligarchs of my countries major political party just voted for our next president and suprise suprise they chose the lesser of two evils. Things were looking slighly optimsitic.

They however also just voted to make land expropriation without compensation government policy. If they follow through expect the economy to collapse ie Zimbabwe.

So should I move to USA, UK, Canada or Australia? How long will it take to learn norwegian?

There’s a number of researchers at the University that speaks not a lick of Norwegian

[Gust Hubb]

Just realized the first leg of my flight tomorrow was arranged in pm not am... cancelling and scrambling. So annoyed.

[Tiste Simeon]

Tsundoku, on 22 December 2017 - 02:58 AM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 22 December 2017 - 01:11 AM, said:

Cause, on 21 December 2017 - 08:08 PM, said:

The 5000 oligarchs of my countries major political party just voted for our next president and suprise suprise they chose the lesser of two evils. Things were looking slighly optimsitic.They however also just voted to make land expropriation without compensation government policy. If they follow through expect the economy to collapse ie Zimbabwe.So should I move to USA, UK, Canada or Australia? How long will it take to learn norwegian?

Don't come to the UK. We're swiftly turning into a tinpot, backwards-looking pathetic nation run by rabid right wing cretins and their media mogul owners.

Thought you were talking about the USA or us there for a second, had to reread it.

Well yes. It could have applied to all three quite easily (Rupert Murdoch being linked in all of them too, the vile beast that he is...)

[Kurt Montandon]

... I only have search engines for company.

Heading to bed anyways.

[Andorion]

Kurt Montandon, on 24 December 2017 - 02:34 AM, said:

... I only have search engines for company.

Heading to bed anyways.

I am one of those anonymous people!

[Cause]

Morgoth, on 23 December 2017 - 12:32 PM, said:

Cause, on 21 December 2017 - 08:08 PM, said:

The 5000 oligarchs of my countries major political party just voted for our next president and suprise suprise they chose the lesser of two evils. Things were looking slighly optimsitic.

They however also just voted to make land expropriation without compensation government policy. If they follow through expect the economy to collapse ie Zimbabwe.

So should I move to USA, UK, Canada or Australia? How long will it take to learn norwegian?

There’s a number of researchers at the University that speaks not a lick of Norwegian

I can do research and dont speak a lick of norwegian!!!

[Traveller]

Well that was a particularly fucked up Christmas day. At least the kids enjoyed it.