[Centzon Totochtin]

meh I figure as long as you are happy, that is what matters.

I just dont' 'do drama if I don't have to, and haven't found anyone worth a relationship for a while, I am not completely opposed to them.

[MTS]

Well sure, you're happy until you encounter a Zinger burger and wake up with gonorrhea

[Centzon Totochtin]

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

[Morgoth]

Mappo's Travelling Sack, on Jul 23 2009, 07:22 AM, said:

Well sure, you're happy until you encounter a Zinger burger and wake up with gonorrhea

I just love how this thing developed

[Centzon Totochtin]

I would like to note that I DO NOT get diseased. I am not an idiot!

*hides under desk*

[MTS]

Centzon Totochtin, on Jul 21 2009, 10:40 PM, said:

I've had so many people in my mouth that I don't really care what happens there any more....

[Centzon Totochtin]

DAMN IT STUPID BRAIN CENSORS NOT WORKING!

[Tremolo]

Mappo's Travelling Sack, on Jul 23 2009, 06:17 AM, said:

Centzon Totochtin, on Jul 21 2009, 10:40 PM, said:

I've had so many people in my mouth that I don't really care what happens there any more....

*giggles*

I hate the fact that what Obdi is saying is absolutely right...

[Bhurnae]

Centzon Totochtin, on Jul 23 2009, 05:50 AM, said:

My solution: don't do relationships, casual sex FTW!

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Trusting your girl is one thing. Being cool with her going on date followed by a sleepover with another guy is another. Some things are inappropriate.

[Shiara]

Raymond Luxury Yacht, on Jul 23 2009, 04:58 PM, said:

Trusting your girl is one thing. Being cool with her going on date followed by a sleepover with another guy is another. Some things are inappropriate.

Agreed.

Example: Loki feels uncomfortable just going over to a male friends' house without her fiance in tow, and wouldn't invite them over if he wasn't home either. Not because she doesn't trust them, or herself or anything - just cause in her moral code it would be inappropriate. Her fiance understands and goes by the same rules that she does, cause he respects her feelings on the matter.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

caladanbrood, on Jul 23 2009, 02:52 AM, said:

The temptation to read the DoD review gets harder and harder to resist...

Don't do it Brood! I skimmed it and already know 3 things that I am currently trying to drown out with loud music.

Tarcanus, on Jul 23 2009, 05:55 AM, said:

Also understand that when I see a glimmer of hope for Girl B and myself, my mind takes off and the over-thinking runs rampant. It starts wonderfully and I fully hope she ditches this guy and I can finally make the move I've been waiting to make since I realized I was a jackass 5 years ago. Then I consider breaking up with Girl A (who is totally into me and would take the breakup hard.) but hurting people like that is anathema, to me, and this brings me down off my Girl B high. Then I doubt my feelings for Girl B are anything but infatuation and I spiral back down to bluh.

I know what this sort of situation is like. I have what I hope are genuine feelings for a girl but I see other girls in day-to-day passing-by and think, "Hey, she's hot." Then I start to wonder if the feelings are genuine. Then I'm stuck. Annoyedface.

Groove is messed because I have to memorise three whole pages of Japanese verbs. Fuckberries.

[Cougar]

Shiara, on Jul 23 2009, 08:04 AM, said:

Raymond Luxury Yacht, on Jul 23 2009, 04:58 PM, said:

Trusting your girl is one thing. Being cool with her going on date followed by a sleepover with another guy is another. Some things are inappropriate.

Agreed.

Example: Loki feels uncomfortable just going over to a male friends' house without her fiance in tow, and wouldn't invite them over if he wasn't home either. Not because she doesn't trust them, or herself or anything - just cause in her moral code it would be inappropriate. Her fiance understands and goes by the same rules that she does, cause he respects her feelings on the matter.

Well that's all fine so long as both parties have an accord. I just work on trust alone, Mrs Cougar can do whatever she likes and I won't object. Don't ask me where the line is I don't know, we haven't found it yet. At Uni she lived with guys and I have loads of girl mates, I go out for lunch and a movie with, or dinner and some boozing etc and frequently stay over at their houses in fact I did this with 2 differrent equally platonic girl-friends over the weekend. Admittedly when we first went out Mrs C found the number of girl mates I have a bit vexxing but once she became used to it we were cool.

Despite what some people say not all guys have an sexual agenda. Some men are comfortable enough communicating with women without wanting to do the no pants dance. I've always found women to be really good company, better listeners, more receptive and caring (no revelations there). Whilst I get a lot out of hanging out with the boys, having female mates gives you times that are free from the sort of testosterone fuelled banter I get from being with the Rugby boys or my mates but also offers the chance to talk to a woman who doesn't have an agenda all over her own unlike your wife or mum.

[HoosierDaddy]

Cougar, I find all of those things: listening, understandability, trusting, and every other friendship characteristic in females as well; however, if I find a girl attractive, the odds of me being able to simply "be friends" with her are dramatically reduced. Therefore, I have lots of female friends, and I've stayed at their places and whatnot, but they've never posed any threat to a relationship I've been in.

I think there is a distinct difference between friends due to nature, and friends due to circumstance. I don't trust friends due to circumstance farther than I can reach my arm.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Cougar, on Jul 23 2009, 12:19 AM, said:

Shiara, on Jul 23 2009, 08:04 AM, said:

Raymond Luxury Yacht, on Jul 23 2009, 04:58 PM, said:

Trusting your girl is one thing. Being cool with her going on date followed by a sleepover with another guy is another. Some things are inappropriate.

Agreed.

Example: Loki feels uncomfortable just going over to a male friends' house without her fiance in tow, and wouldn't invite them over if he wasn't home either. Not because she doesn't trust them, or herself or anything - just cause in her moral code it would be inappropriate. Her fiance understands and goes by the same rules that she does, cause he respects her feelings on the matter.

Well that's all fine so long as both parties have an accord. I just work on trust alone, Mrs Cougar can do whatever she likes and I won't object. Don't ask me where the line is I don't know, we haven't found it yet. At Uni she lived with guys and I have loads of girl mates, I go out for lunch and a movie with, or dinner and some boozing etc and frequently stay over at their houses in fact I did this with 2 differrent equally platonic girl-friends over the weekend. Admittedly when we first went out Mrs C found the number of girl mates I have a bit vexxing but once she became used to it we were cool.

Despite what some people say not all guys have an sexual agenda. Some men are comfortable enough communicating with women without wanting to do the no pants dance. I've always found women to be really good company, better listeners, more receptive and caring (no revelations there). Whilst I get a lot out of hanging out with the boys, having female mates gives you times that are free from the sort of testosterone fuelled banter I get from being with the Rugby boys or my mates but also offers the chance to talk to a woman who doesn't have an agenda all over her own unlike your wife or mum.

All true, but once you get in a serious relationship, is it really necessary to sleep at other girls houses? Sure, meet them for lunch or have a couple beers or whatever, but it's just weird to be sleeping over. I hold this standard for myself, not just my wife.

[Cougar]

If I go out with a friend in a city for from where I live then staying over at their house is pretty much a given, I'm not going to pay for a hotel when someone has a perfectly servicable sofa bed in their front room.

[HoosierDaddy]

Agreed, I think that is a corollary to most every rule of friend/special friend behavior, Cougar.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Cougar, on Jul 23 2009, 12:34 AM, said:

If I go out with a friend in a city for from where I live then staying over at their house is pretty much a given, I'm not going to pay for a hotel when someone has a perfectly servicable sofa bed in their front room.

Visiting an out of town friend overnight is different from sleeping over at an in-town friend's house just for the hell of it. For example, on my recent roadtrip, i visited two of my best friends in the world in Denver. They are married. Now, imagine the guy had been gone for some reason. Would it have been acceptable to stay at the house, just me and the girl? Yes, of course. It would have been stupid to get a hotel.

Now imagine if I was to go upstairs and tell my wife I am leaving to go sleep at a girl's house I know who lives here in town, just for fun. Not cool for me to do, wouldn't be cool for my wife to do it to me.

Every situation is different.

[lobo the wolfman]

Tiam: trust is important, but so is compromise. You have told her that you are uncomfortable with her staying at this guys house and seeing him and that's fair. The fact is you didn't tell her flat out that she couldn't see him, just that you didn't like it, and if she is not willing to reassure you or reach some kind of middle ground, then i say end it.

[Mezla PigDog]

Raymond Luxury Yacht, on Jul 23 2009, 08:54 AM, said:

Now imagine if I was to go upstairs and tell my wife I am leaving to go sleep at a girl's house I know who lives here in town, just for fun. Not cool for me to do, wouldn't be cool for my wife to do it to me.

Nobody would do that. But equally I have had male friends from the same city come over for dinner, stay later than planned because I am such charming company and say "I can't be arsed going home/paying £££ for a cab, I'll kip on the sofa". Fine by me and my other half, female friends do the same.

I don't see why there have to caveats on your friendship because you are a different gender. I also don't see why when you get in a relationship, the way you socialise with your opposite gender friends has to change. It is bollocks and based on naive principles that a man and woman can't be friends without sex getting in the way.