[worry]

Environmentalists have oppressed us for too long. One inspirational network of dedicated youths aims to fight back!
http://www.vocativ.c...me-rollin-coal/

[Binder of Demons]

Trivial stuff really, but was out walking the dog this evening, and out of the blue my dog was attacked by another dog. A pretty aggressive Kerry Blue (which is a breed i had heard are very temperamental). Fortunately my fella was quick enough to avoid the initial attack, and only responded when it tried a second time, at which point he pinned the other dog to the ground and held him til I could separate them.

While my dog was fine, I don't like seeing him have to get that aggressive in return, especially when I've just spent about 6 weeks trying to make sure he's a nice and calm, sociable dog, that can be comfortably taken out in public, after he was attacked previously by a greyhound.

Whereas my dog is very good-natured so far, he is still a big dog who could do damage if he got aggressive (my dog is an 18-month old labradoodle). So now I'm back to square one making sure he doesn't develop the old "get your retaliation in first".

The most frustrating part is that it's happened both times in the field in front of my house, which is where we've always walked our dogs, and until about a year ago was private farmland. But recently the land was sold, and though it's still private property, a lot of people have now "discovered" it, and are using it too. Selfish I know, but I wish it had stayed the way it was. (we used to keep an eye on the land for the farmer so it wasn't a one sided deal).

I liked being able to walk the dog in peace, and not be having to scan the horizon looking for potential dangers.

[Studlock]

I was going to make a post about my TBR and how absurd it was grown (quite if you're wondering). I literally went through each author and each book, explain why I got it (and still have not read it), and why you might like it, and when I was nearly done I somehow manage to click on the back button like a boss.

Man I was sure it was going to be my first topic that didn't start a flame war. This is why we can't have nice things (the why being general and silly incompetence).

[Puck]

I can feel a nasty headache making its way towards me.. Do not want

[Silencer]

Work.

We've now surpassed the one month marker since we started having double-length shifts everyday and 3am finishes every Monday/Thursday/Friday at work. Plus, I've worked almost every day during that period except Sundays (because apparently Management's response to overworked staff is to get them to do extra work on weekends, too!). This would not normally be too much for me, except on top of the exams and so forth on the side, I've been doing approximately 4 hours a day more work than most of my colleagues. The only person beating my shifts is my boss, who is doing constant 13-15 hours days; I feel very sorry for her (and a bit worried, too - it's too much!).

Ah well, back to it. *goes to die a slow death at work*

[amphibian]

I received bad news today: my car needs new shocks all around and a new set of back tires. The Chicago trip is off. Darn it.

[Tsundoku]

amphibian, on 28 June 2014 - 06:43 AM, said:

I received bad news today: my car needs new shocks all around and a new set of back tires. The Chicago trip is off. Darn it.

I feel your pain. My cars' suspension has felt a bit spongey lately and I know for sure it's due for 2 new tyres. I bought 2 new ones for the front (front wheel drive) at the start of the year so the back ones are due. Which will then become the new front ones.

Plus it's about 7-8000 km overdue for a service.

This post has been edited by Sombra: 28 June 2014 - 07:31 AM

[Kanubis]

I am suddenly single for the first time in a decade, having emigrated for the relationship a few years back.
I'm also 35. It's not a combination I'm thrilled about.

[Tiste Simeon]

Been really tired recently yet it is 1250 and I can't sleep.

[Gwynn ap Nudd]

Silencer, on 28 June 2014 - 05:21 AM, said:

Work.

We've now surpassed the one month marker since we started having double-length shifts everyday and 3am finishes every Monday/Thursday/Friday at work. Plus, I've worked almost every day during that period except Sundays (because apparently Management's response to overworked staff is to get them to do extra work on weekends, too!). This would not normally be too much for me, except on top of the exams and so forth on the side, I've been doing approximately 4 hours a day more work than most of my colleagues. The only person beating my shifts is my boss, who is doing constant 13-15 hours days; I feel very sorry for her (and a bit worried, too - it's too much!).

Ah well, back to it. *goes to die a slow death at work*

I feel for you, as I know the feeling and have similar things going on now. With Canada Day on Tuesday, I had booked the Monday off for a four day long weekend. Due to how busy I am and a couple of fires that need to be put out, I have seen my planned four day weekend dwindle to one day. We have been heading back towards the everyone is overworked train since we had a couple of very experienced engineers leave to be replaced by EITs, and now we are there. The only weekend I haven't worked recently was one where I had previous plans to be out of town to attend my nephew's grad.

Polished up my resume earlier today (having a few beers now on my only day off), as I am not interested in working ten hour days six days a week and that's where this looks to be headed.

[Loki]

Kanubis, on 28 June 2014 - 09:12 PM, said:

I am suddenly single for the first time in a decade, having emigrated for the relationship a few years back.
I'm also 35. It's not a combination I'm thrilled about.

Opportunity to move back to your homeland?


Excuse for an early mid-life crisis?


Focus on the bright sides!



(Sorry to hear that. 'Suddenly' doesn't make it sound like a mutual thing. Chin up and all that.)

~ Loki, terrible at consoling.

[Tiste Simeon]

Loki, on 29 June 2014 - 12:59 AM, said:

~ Loki, terrible at consoling.

I dunno, you seem pretty adept at the old XBox 360.

THIS IS ME ON NOT ENOUGH SLEEP I NEED HELP

[McLovin]

After a 20 year run of no car accidents, I have been rear-ended three times in the past year. Making up for lost time I guess...

[Mezla PigDog]

I can't believe Rolf did it!

[Macros]

what?

[Coco with marshmallows]

Macros, on 30 June 2014 - 09:49 PM, said:

what?

Rolf Harris was found guilty today.

[Mezla PigDog]

All those terrible things they said he did. I'll never be able to make a Rolf's Cartoon Club flick book again.

[Kanubis]

Loki, on 29 June 2014 - 12:59 AM, said:

Kanubis, on 28 June 2014 - 09:12 PM, said:

I am suddenly single for the first time in a decade, having emigrated for the relationship a few years back.
I'm also 35. It's not a combination I'm thrilled about.

Opportunity to move back to your homeland?
Excuse for an early mid-life crisis?
Focus on the bright sides!

(Sorry to hear that. 'Suddenly' doesn't make it sound like a mutual thing. Chin up and all that.)

~ Loki, terrible at consoling.

Ha, I've had some far worse counselling, trust me. It's tricky because I think she might actually have had the right idea.
Not moving back. Copenhagen is a fun place when you make the effort to find things to do. Jersey is fucking boring in comparison.

Anyway, what happened... spoilered, because quite frankly it's fucking long.

Spoiler

I need to preface the rest by saying how great the relationship was. We had similar interests, we were genuinely best mates. She was a joy to be with - we barely had a cross word with each other in the decade, and had a lot of respect for each other. No paranoia or distrust.

But...
When we met she was a mess psychologically. I was a bit too, but not so bad. The short version is that her nephews were born prematurely and one of them didn't make it past the first day. She spent the next year basically supporting her sister and after her sister was ok, my ex basically had nothing left in the tank. Deep depression etc.

She got a tiny bit better, then we met. She wasn't "in danger" by this point but still had a hell of a lot of recovery to go - zero self belief. She moved over to Jersey to live with me and after three years we moved over to Denmark. The earlier shit had interrupted her uni education so she wanted to go back, fair enough and I was ready to leave the island anyway.

She got better, very slowly. About five years ago was the last time she had a truly bleak moment, where she'd basically just cease to function for a couple of hours. A year after that she was able to come off the antidepressants for good. And then she got back in to uni. Then she got a scholarship to do her last semester in New Zealand. She left in January. Lots of tears at the airport etc. We skyped for an hour every day. Then about three months ago it just slowly started to trickle off.

A month ago she skyped me in tears. No feeling there anymore etc. She wasn't dumping me as such, just that she didn't think when she got back she'd want us to be together. I suggested we just end it (not coldly, just that it would be easier for both of us than a month in limbo.)

I always had a suspicion that when she was truly better - full of self-belief, confidence, energy etc. that she'd be a different enough person that it might not work anymore. There was a huge dependency for many years in our relationship, and I think that's something she needs to move on from completely. It's genuinely been a joy seeing her change from a wreck of a person to what she is now.

The other thing is that I'm now realising that the dependency in the relationship was slowly wrecking me (in some ironic twist of what happened to her years ago I suppose.) The problem was that as she got better, I never managed to stop feeling a huge pressure to get it right for us. I was stressed as hell for years because I had to get everything right for our sakes. This pressure never came explicitly from her, but I put it on myself. I'm now feeling this immense sense of relief, like a burden I've been bearing for years has been lifted. There is quite a lot she gave me that has made me a stronger person as well - I should add that despite the emotional dependency, the love was very much two-way.

It's as nice as a break-up after a decade can be I suppose. But I think she was right. In a month I've not had a single thought of reconciliation, even in my drunkest moment not the slightest urge to message her and ask for her back. I'm starting to feel like towards the end a lot of my feeling for her wasn't the right kind anyway, too much of it was just my need to make sure she was ok. She is, job done. Time to move on.

Oh, and since people will have thought it - has she fucked anyone in New Zealand? Maybe. I honestly believe she wouldn't have prior to us splitting up, and if she has since then that's her business.

Now, I'm 35. I had a long relationship prior to her, so since the age of 18 I've only been single for just under a year. I have no fucking idea how to do it. I just know the eventual next one has be in a good place psychologically. As for any casual stuff before that... nice thought, but I've never really been wired that way. Maybe I should try and learn to be.
Really not used to just thinking about myself though, it's taking some adjustment.

[amphibian]

If you have the kind of hobbies that get you outside and meeting people, those could be decent spots to meet people.

All I do is grapple and read/write (the first is a 98% male activity and the second is mostly indoors), so I'm stuck with the bar scene and friend introductions for now (until I take the plunge for Tinder or whatever).

I'll take up something else in the next few months and see if that shakes anything good loose for me.

[Kanubis]

www.meetup.com has been my saviour. I do have friends over here but want to do more. In that month I've frequently gone to random meetup things and ended up coming home at 3 in the morning.

Luckily I work remotely from home so I've gotten away with it.