Assail, on 22 March 2013 - 11:17 PM, said:
At least the alcohol would sterilize things

Edit: just me hiding a post. 2020, and really don't know how I will cope. Drinking is really helpful. I see why people do it. Numbs everything in a sleepy haze. But not a long term solution (too expensive and restrictive). Wish I could just cut my wrists and end it, but also not a solution. Four kids who love me, and I would need a lot worse circumstances to take myself there. And sure, my wife loves me, but she is the reason I am here as well. Why can't life just give me a goddamn break? Had a couple happy years to tease me, and now into some deeper dark years. Trapped at hope with kids, covid raging throughout the nation, and a wife that would rather prop her self-righteous stance than stand with me and change a few bad habits. Living the life. Have to get drunk-ish to make it through. And just ramped up the medication to therapeutic doses only to have it all crash down despite it all. So goddamn depressed. Wish I could just be done. Screaming into the void. Screaming into nothing that cares. Screaming into my hollowed out mind. Likely a lonely night ahead. Doubt she will text me and I am going into dreamland as soon as fucking possible. At least there I am wanted and feel part of something. Hate this.
This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 12 July 2020 - 01:11 AM