I've been thinking about it for quite a while (basically since I got my job in patents, which is a profession with a huge proportion of neurodivergent people working in it) but I hit the point of putting the individual puzzle pieces together recently and spoke to those closest to me about it - I've realised there's a very strong possibility that I'm autistic. Notably, the couple of close friends I spoke to about this who are diagnosed with autism and/or ADHD both reacted along the lines of "Oh, we thought you knew!"
It's in this thread because I feel overwhelmingly positive about it - it makes a lot of things about me when I was younger and up to the present make a lot more sense. Also, it gives me permission to stop worrying about being a terrible person when I can't feign interest in some mundane things that everyone else seems to get excited about, and not beat myself up over the fact there are general things like crowded environments and loud noises that I can't cope with very easily. Part of the reason I think it's flown beneath the radar is that I have Fibromyalgia and sensory difficulties can be a part of that, so I've always unquestionably assumed that was why. I'd put the brain-numbing exhaustion I feel following social engagements under that heading too.
I'm still weighing up options in terms of getting an assessment - we do have a service in Leeds to which you can self-refer without having to go through a GP, but the wait list is currently 2 years, and it's very expensive privately (and I've been warned they don't play nicely with the NHS if
needed in future, so it might end up being an expensive white elephant). My mum has been really supportive and has expressed she's happy to be part of the assessment should I decide I want to go for it, so I'm not concerned about that. Haven't broached the subject with my dad yet, but that's a battle for another day. He's firmly in the "everyone's suddenly autistic these days" camp and it's unnecessary stress I don't need.
I do think ultimately pursuing a diagnosis would be beneficial though - not just on a "see, I was right!" front but also it feels like a better foundation for if/when I have to deal with people who don't know much about it or don't understand it (for example, my partner's mum at a recent family gathering was holding court on the "I think we're just all different and all these labels are silly" front, because his sister in law had mentioned how "lucky" she and her five siblings had been that none of their huge number of children seemed to be neurodivergent.) "I've been formally diagnosed" feels like a safer base to build on than "I strongly suspect".
Ultimately, I've always been this person, it feels like I just have a better understanding of who this person is. And she's alright really, just a bit wonky
This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 21 June 2024 - 10:23 AM
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Maark Abbott, on 22 May 2024 - 01:02 PM, said:
