[Sixty]

Yellow, on Jun 16 2009, 02:04 PM, said:

Sixty, on Jun 16 2009, 02:06 PM, said:

But if you wanted to do an exchange of some sort via this forum I'd be down. I'm not so sure exactly why critique you'd be looking for (something in-depth like an editor almost, or just a general reader's impression etc.) but I'd be open to suggestions.

I'm not asking for detailed line-editing or anything like that. I'd like to know if the story grabs people, if characters behave and speak in a believable way, if it's balanced and self-consistent, all that kind of stuff. Basically I'd like to know what readers think of it A couple of people have read it so far and the response was that it was enjoyable--from what I can tell, it was a good read, not amazing and not terrible. I'd like something more specific, which is probably more doable when taken a chapter at a time.

But yeah, whatever kind of crit you (and others) want for your own stuff, I'm happy to try. If you want my email addy to send anything, just let me know and I'll PM you.

Any other takers on this? Gamet mentioned above that this kind of activity seriously helps with the motivation and workrate... and it definitely did for me when I first started here. I think I wrote about three chapters in six months before joining up here, and after that I was cranking them out at a rate of about a chapter a month (or even less!), because I wanted to get the story out to the people who were reading it. It was good fun

Sounds good. PM me your email and I'll PM you mine; I'll probably have time to do a chapter or two in the next week-ish.

As for my chapter rate...back when I was writing new content it was 2-3 days per 2-4k word chapter. I've revised four times and I'm still unsatisfied, but still...
lol

[Yellow]

Email sent. I'll see if I can find the old thread I had. If you want to put any suggestions in there...

[Use Of Weapons]

I may have mentioned it before, but another online critique group is Critters (www.critters.org). Primarily focused on short stories, there are also mechanisms for putting novels through the system chapter-by-chapter. It also has a resources page with a huge list of useful links for budding authors.

[Fist Gamet]

It's good we might be generating more interest, and if you have a problem with posting too much of your WIP then just post the odd chapter, if you like, and we can feedback to one another our thoughts and opinions. The whole idea it so help one another improve so you don't need to have finished anything or post lots of chapters anyway.

The only thing I would say is I don't think it would work if we go down the route of emailing instead of posting as it is going to exclude people, imho. There can be no harm in posting chunks of work to get feedback, and, as I said before, it was a massive help for me.

NB And do not worry about copyrighting and all that as you always retain Intellectual Rights and ownership over your work. I can't recall the details but their is some legal mechanism in place that dozens of countries signed up to. Actually, I wonder if anyone can remember what this is?

To kickstart us I will post up the prologue to my current WIP and see how that goes. It will be an attached Word File.

[Sixty]

Sure. Would a new thread for each WIP sound like a good idea?

[Grimjust Bearegular]

I'll read and critique anything you've got. BRING IT ON!!!!





I'm bored at work

[Fist Gamet]

That's the idea. Done.

[Sixty]

At school right now. I'll maybe post something up when I get home.

[Yellow]

I'd rather email stuff out than post it. It worked quite well last time. Anyone that wants to read something can just PM me their email address

[Sixty]

Hmm tbh out of caution/paranoia I think I'll follow the same path. PM me too I guess. D:

This post has been edited by Sixty: 17 June 2009 - 07:38 PM

[Use Of Weapons]

Copyright is distinct from Publishing rights though. You shouldn't post complete works (or even substantial portions of complete works) online, as most publishers will view that as 'prior publication' and will not pay as much for the right to publish your stuff.

[Fist Gamet]

Yeah, that's fair enough, and that's why I thought to just post up little chunks if you like. I just wanted to say that emailing will prelude new members who might stumble in here for a look and as it will look as though there is almost no activity and they won't stay long. Do both!!!

[Sirchicken]

I'm actually writing a series right now called "The Elite Chronicles. I finished the first book of it just recently. I've been working on it for about three years and I'm actually pretty proud of it. It tells the story of a continent-spanning war in the powerful empire of Balanzar and its myriad allies. It's got a good amount of different pieces to the story but I think that it explains itself well enough. My friends are actually editing it now and I'm going to try looking for a publisher. Anyway, here's sort of a back-of-the-book blurb for the first book:

The Great Hunt
The Prince of Balanzar, the most powerful empire in the Northern Continent of Tusstar, has been kidnapped. As the orcs behind the daring attack flee into the Darkrim Forest, King Gothmir gathers his finest warriors - the Elite - to answer this act of war. But as the Elite pursue their quarry, it soon becomes clear that this crime is much more than it at first seems. Suddenly, war erupts all across the Alliance as long dormant enemies take advantage of the chaos that has been triggered in Balanzar. And as the Alliance falls deeper into disarray, an ancient foe arrives, bent on the destruction of the Alliance, as well as life itself.

It might sound sort of cliche, but it is a fairly good piece of writing. It's dark, epic, and it contains plenty of compelling themes like revenge, fear, and loyalty. An although I'm using the familiar fantasy races like orcs, humans, Elves, and Dwarves, I think that the storytelling is good enough that it's not just some generic swords-and-sorcery adventure.

Anyway, that's what I'm writing.

[RangerSG]

I haven't named my book or series yet. But I've got almost 5000 words and I'm into the 3rd chapter. So I'll chat about it here now. :broody:

The concept is an "Alien Space Bat" Magic-based Alternate History. The setting is the Holy Roman Emperor under Rudolf II, the first book starts as the pieces are moving into place for the beginning of "the Long War" (aka the 13 /or 15/ year war) between the Hapsburgs and the Ottomans over Hungary. The Emperor's Court resides in Prague, which is becoming one of the wonders of Europe. Rudolf's court is filled with natural philosophers, artists of all sorts, and alchemists. Rudolf more or less placates the Catholics without giving up too much to the Counter-Reformation. His preferences are more towards the conciliators on each side than the fire-breathers. He doesn't trust Catholics, having lived in Spain. He doesn't understand Protestants, having seen too many of their schisms to know which brand to support.

It's a world where many of the Central and Eastern European myths and faery tales are actually at least partially grounded in truth. Where the Order of the Dragon embraces the darkness of vampirism rather than surrender Transylvania to the Turks. Embracing the powers of darkness to save the light of the Church. Where alchemists can accomplish the three magisterium, given time, resources, and purity of motive. Where Prague's reputation as the city of thresholds is well-earned. And where that rabbi really might have a golem to protect the ghetto from blood libels.

My male lead character is a spy from a minor Lutheran noble family from Brandenburg in the service of the Emperor. In one of his missions, he inadvertently ran across a sorcerer, and almost as unwittingly slew him. As a result, the Spymaster decided to make him a tool to use against the supernatural and other esoterics opposed to the Hapsburgs. He dabbles in alchemy to enhance his skills. His preferred fighting style is rapier and cloak. Though he carries a wheellock pistol and a tridentine dagger for when he's tossed his cloak at someone mid-duel.

The female lead is a Roma whose family made a deal with the Order of the Dragon to protect themselves from being enslaved by the outsiders around them. She was born a sorcerer (all sorcerers are mages, but not all mages are sorcerers in this world; a sorcerer is a mage with innate talent, and only sorcerers can cast evocations due to those innate talents), but she was supposed to be given to the Order to be turned. Her family couldn't follow through on the promise, and arranged for her escape. Her dreams lead her to Prague, with a vampire hunting her. She there comes to the attention of the Spymaster, who dispatched our hero to meet with her. Chaos Ensues.

So that's the concept. I've been enjoying writing it so far. And I was regularly working on it until yesterday, when the spectacular upset of Spain by the US distracted me.

So, buy or sell this concept? I imagine it as something like The Baroque Cycle meets The Dresden Files. Not that I claim to match the talent of either Neal Stephenson or Jim Butcher. Good bit of swashbuckling action on top, with a good froth of potboiling between factions underneath.

This post has been edited by RangerSG: 25 June 2009 - 01:35 PM

[Yellow]

Sounds interesting, but you've already worried me that I won't know enough about the setting to enjoy it Would it be safe for someone who knows about as much of the Holy Roman Empire as he's read in the Baroque Cycle?

[Lisheo]

RangerSG, on Jun 25 2009, 02:32 PM, said:

I haven't named my book or series yet. But I've got almost 5000 words and I'm into the 3rd chapter. So I'll chat about it here now. :broody:

The concept is an "Alien Space Bat" Magic-based Alternate History. The setting is the Holy Roman Emperor under Rudolf II, the first book starts as the pieces are moving into place for the beginning of "the Long War" (aka the 13 /or 15/ year war) between the Hapsburgs and the Ottomans over Hungary. The Emperor's Court resides in Prague, which is becoming one of the wonders of Europe. Rudolf's court is filled with natural philosophers, artists of all sorts, and alchemists. Rudolf more or less placates the Catholics without giving up too much to the Counter-Reformation. His preferences are more towards the conciliators on each side than the fire-breathers. He doesn't trust Catholics, having lived in Spain. He doesn't understand Protestants, having seen too many of their schisms to know which brand to support.

It's a world where many of the Central and Eastern European myths and faery tales are actually at least partially grounded in truth. Where the Order of the Dragon embraces the darkness of vampirism rather than surrender Transylvania to the Turks. Embracing the powers of darkness to save the light of the Church. Where alchemists can accomplish the three magisterium, given time, resources, and purity of motive. Where Prague's reputation as the city of thresholds is well-earned. And where that rabbi really might have a golem to protect the ghetto from blood libels.

My male lead character is a spy from a minor Lutheran noble family from Brandenburg in the service of the Emperor. In one of his missions, he inadvertently ran across a sorcerer, and almost as unwittingly slew him. As a result, the Spymaster decided to make him a tool to use against the supernatural and other esoterics opposed to the Hapsburgs. He dabbles in alchemy to enhance his skills. His preferred fighting style is rapier and cloak. Though he carries a wheellock pistol and a tridentine dagger for when he's tossed his cloak at someone mid-duel.

The female lead is a Roma whose family made a deal with the Order of the Dragon to protect themselves from being enslaved by the outsiders around them. She was born a sorcerer (all sorcerers are mages, but not all mages are sorcerers in this world; a sorcerer is a mage with innate talent, and only sorcerers can cast evocations due to those innate talents), but she was supposed to be given to the Order to be turned. Her family couldn't follow through on the promise, and arranged for her escape. Her dreams lead her to Prague, with a vampire hunting her. She there comes to the attention of the Spymaster, who dispatched our hero to meet with her. Chaos Ensues.

So that's the concept. I've been enjoying writing it so far. And I was regularly working on it until yesterday, when the spectacular upset of Spain by the US distracted me.

So, buy or sell this concept? I imagine it as something like The Baroque Cycle meets The Dresden Files. Not that I claim to match the talent of either Neal Stephenson or Jim Butcher. Good bit of swashbuckling action on top, with a good froth of potboiling between factions underneath.

This actually sounds amazing. I will be among the first to buy it when it comes out, that's a promise.

[Bauchelain the Evil]

Ok, I had already posted one of my projects here but it didn't go well and since a bit I've been working on something else.

The story happens in the Eithian Empire which along with the Principate of Aider takes up an entire continent. Things aren't going well in tthe Empire. After killing his brothe in the civil war known as The Fratricide War eleven years ago, King Alius Caolin is overcome by remorse and is costantly haunted by nightmares. For the good of the Kingdom, Consul Rynart Stanislaw desides to overthrow hima and as such plots with fellow Consul Ligh Tean, who, unfortunatelyis a complete idiot.

Besides it's not actually the ebst moment to plot against the King.

From the North, entirely covered by the Great Forest, are coming hordes of barbarians led by a mysterious woman, known as the Enchantress, who has the power to manipulate people with mere words.At first things don't go very well but when Kar Berzek, Champion of the King, defects the Empire after being accused of treachery by the Consuls, nobody seems able to stop them . Meanwhile, three powerful shamans decide to go finding th Fathe of the Forest, the most powerful and ancient spirit, so that they can overthrow the Enchantres rule.

In the border city of Tha Aider, instead, a Prophet called the Man Who Sees as started preaching the return of Berrin III Caolin, the late king slain in the Fratricide War. And this as atracted many men, both noblemen and peasants, who still remember the parents and friends who died warring the man who right now sits on th throne.

In short, this is a book full of battles and political machinations : )

[RangerSG]

Lisheo, on Jun 25 2009, 12:00 PM, said:

RangerSG, on Jun 25 2009, 02:32 PM, said:

So, buy or sell this concept? I imagine it as something like The Baroque Cycle meets The Dresden Files. Not that I claim to match the talent of either Neal Stephenson or Jim Butcher. Good bit of swashbuckling action on top, with a good froth of potboiling between factions underneath.

This actually sounds amazing. I will be among the first to buy it when it comes out, that's a promise.

Lisheo,

Thanks

[T'renn]

My WIP, just started recently, maybe I just got the prologue finished.

Chronicles of an... unusual empire, part I, Prelude

Ever since the devastating war of the Gods on their world, which still rages on a great many others, the Nim have come into existence. This strongwilled and strongbuild race has overcome the vast arctic nightmare of their own world, which shaped them, and set out through gates and portals of the Ancient Peoples to other worlds to conquer, to trade, to bring justice. And while this may seem arrogant, it answers their ultimate goal, to create an empire where no blood is spilled for naught and even the gods and arisen must bow to justice...

About prelude

Where to leave the most dangerous people the empire has ? One way would be to enlist them and make sure that their punishment will be one with iron discipline, but of course, you can't enlist all. Therefore, the empire sends its most dangerous mages, its greatest murderers and crooks to Aschain, a barren, ashfilled world, under the watchfull eye of the army. A great advantage is that the conflagration of this world, caused by the Gods, has left only one magic realm into existence here, that of Death... Leaving all other kinds of magic closed to all.

Governing a city of criminals is no easy work, so government officials tend to get... missing. So, in "absence" of a suitable replacement among the bureaucrats in the innercity, a young Nim, freshly arrived among others who are deemed to have deserved a prolongued stay on this planet, is drafted in the role of magistrate, for a collection of scumfilled slums...

This post has been edited by Imperial High Mage Tayschrenn: 26 June 2009 - 07:03 AM

[RangerSG]

Yellow, on Jun 25 2009, 11:35 AM, said:

Sounds interesting, but you've already worried me that I won't know enough about the setting to enjoy it Would it be safe for someone who knows about as much of the Holy Roman Empire as he's read in the Baroque Cycle?

Sorry, I missed your comment. Well, the way I'm working the factions, you'll see many of them through the male lead's family. One of his brothers is a "black sheep" and turned Catholic and lives in Bavaria. His father works in the Imperial Court as a mathematician who helps with bookkeeping and architecture. So you get insight to other aspects of the court from them. As far as the inner-workings of the Empire goes, you really don't need to know much more than Rudolf is the Emperor and not everyone likes him. You'll get more out of the politics (I hope) the more you know. But really, you'll see as many "exotic" enemies as you will Turks, Inquisitors, or Radical Reformers wanting to instigate the big throw-down between the Catholics and Protestants.

So you don't NEED to know a lot of the history. But it certainly won't hurt. What you need to know will be shown through the eyes of various characters as they interact with major characters.

And thanks for the interest.