Malazan Empire: Worst Movie you've ever Seen? - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

  • 14 Pages +
  • « First
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Worst Movie you've ever Seen?

#161 User is offline   Optimus Prime 

  • Daylight Oblivion
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 4,425
  • Joined: 22-March 07
  • Location:San Diego, California
  • Interests:Ranting and Raving. Being the biggest Liberal on this forum. Arguing with Cold Iron (and winning). Writing (struggling right now), reading, Georgia Bulldog FOOTBALL!<br /><br />And the lades, of course, always the ladies ;)

Posted 02 August 2008 - 07:04 PM

That movie was pretty bad.

Jeremy Irons, what were you thinking?!?!

Oh wait, they showed up at your house with a dump truck full of money.

:cool:
0

#162 User is offline   Lost Marine 

  • Fist
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 255
  • Joined: 01-September 07

Posted 03 August 2008 - 12:54 AM

Tif the Barber Boy;309718 said:

You know Riddick was on TV a few days back and I started watching it, and as it went along, I would think, "hmm, I dont recall seeing that little scene before", or "I'm sure this scene was shorter when i saw this." So I guessed I was watching some kind of director's cut. Whats funny is that its not hugely different - you say they cut 15 minutes and I guess all these snippets probably add up to that much, but I have to say, the story did seem to be a whole lot more interesting than I remembered it being.

I still maintain Riddick is the best Sword & Sorcery movie ever made. Sure it has spaceships and laser guns, but at heart Riddick is Conan. Its very, very different from the first movie.

As for Thin Red Line - its an odd duck, particularly since its climatic scene [taking the village] happens about half way through the movie. It feels like everything that follows is an anticlimax. The large cast and the refusal to stick to the usual 'band of heroes' storyline is also unusual. Its obvious that the director had some trouble in making his movie come together. The original cut was five hours long. One of the pivotal characters was played by Adrian Brody who was almost entirely chopped out of the movie in the final cut (he is left with a couple of lines of dialogue). Originally Billy Bob Thornton also had a significant role and he provided 3 hours of narration - he was also dropped from the final cut. Other actors whose parts were completely cut out of the final version include Martin Sheen, Gary Oldman, Bill Pullman, Viggo Mortenson and Mickey Rourke!

As for George Clooney, apparently the studio made it a condition of funding the movie that he be in it, so he was given a minor role which was milked by the marketing people for all it was worth. As it so happens, I thought his cameo is very effective.

For all its problems, I liked Thin Red Line a whole lot. Its flawed, its a mess, its confused, but its brilliantly flawed.



The Thin Red Line was a mess cause the book they based it on was a fucking mess. Too much philosophical bullshit, plus it was about the army on Guadacanal, which is the same as a BLT with just the LT.
0

#163 User is offline   McLovin 

  • Cutlery Enthusiast
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 2,828
  • Joined: 19-March 04
  • Location:Dallas, Texas, USA
  • Interests:Knives. Stabbing. Stabbing with knives.

Posted 03 August 2008 - 12:46 PM

In recent memory, the worst has gotta be Superman Returns. You take a can't-miss formula, and you make it miss. The director and writers need to be sentenced to watching that POS over and over till they die of the bleeding eyes.
OK, I think I got it, but just in case, can you say the whole thing over again? I wasn't really listening.
0

#164 User is offline   Slum 

  • House Knight
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 1,989
  • Joined: 13-July 07

Posted 03 August 2008 - 05:18 PM

The new X-Files movie is definitely one of the worst I've seen this year...
0

#165 User is offline   Cerberus Maw 

  • Corporal
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 43
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 05 August 2008 - 03:20 AM

I agree with all movie posts above me, maybe with the exception of Riddick. I quite enjoyed Pitch Black, but that Chronicles was a bit of a let down. No means the worst movie I've seen. So choices..hmmm

Jumper. Have you seen the trailers? Good, because they are the one and only good parts.

Utter Tripe.
0

#166 User is offline   bwgan 

  • OFFICIAL Keeper of Shiny Things of the Abyssmal Army
  • Group: The Abyssmal Army
  • Posts: 310
  • Joined: 11-December 05
  • Location:Valleys - where to are you at by?

Posted 05 August 2008 - 07:54 PM

How many do I get :shocked:

Alexander - words fail me, I cannot even begin to describe how awful this film is...luckily I did not go to the cinema to watch it, but we did BUY the cd :folken:

The New World - I should have known because Colin Farrell is in it...but did the same as above...could not even make it to the end of the dvd.

Titanic and Sex in the City - *cough* have to admit that I haven't actually seen either of these...and nothing short of red hot needles in my eyes...no, make that including red hot needles in my eyes will persuade me to.**

Four Weddings and a Funeral - I was viciously tricked into watching that pile of @@@@@@@ (insert as many swear words as you can think up!) I will NEVER, EVER grant forgiveness :p.

Oh, there are just sooo many....


**Just because I haven't actually seen them doesn't mean I don't KNOW how crap they are...I'm a mother, I have...senses...you get given them when you go home from the hospital...along with eyes in the back of your head and the 'special' phrase book. :eek3:
'Tell me, Tool, what dominates your thoughts?'
The Imass shrugged before replying. 'I think of Mafia, Adjunct.'
'Do all Imass think about Mafia?'
'No. Few think at all.'
'Why is that?'
The Imass leaned his head to one side and regarded her. 'Because, Adjunct, they are sheeple.'


Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" ... and then it hits me.
0

#167 User is offline   amphibian 

  • Ribbit
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 8,010
  • Joined: 28-September 06
  • Location:Upstate NY
  • Interests:Hopping around

Posted 05 August 2008 - 08:26 PM

bwgan;365462 said:

How many do I get :shocked:

Alexander - words fail me, I cannot even begin to describe how awful this film is...luckily I did not go to the cinema to watch it, but we did BUY the cd :folken:

The New World - I should have known because Colin Farrell is in it...but did the same as above...could not even make it to the end of the dvd.

Titanic and Sex in the City - *cough* have to admit that I haven't actually seen either of these...and nothing short of red hot needles in my eyes...no, make that including red hot needles in my eyes will persuade me to.**

Four Weddings and a Funeral - I was viciously tricked into watching that pile of @@@@@@@ (insert as many swear words as you can think up!) I will NEVER, EVER grant forgiveness :p.

Oh, there are just sooo many....

I would consider all of these movies to be solid, competent pieces, while excepting The New World - which was a really good movie. I haven't seen Sex & The City, so I'll hold off on that. Your hatred seems to find undeserving targets.

Mine: Jaani Dushman

Go to that link and read Wikipedia's summary. I assure you the movie's worse than that. It's supposed to be a Hindi repackaging of the Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer franchises, but I guess the makers couldn't decide if it was to be camp or serious.

The movie's one saving grace is a scene where the magical human snake bad guy attacks one of the doomed "teens". The movie blatantly rips off the liquid metal Terminator special effects here as the victim steps off his motorcycle to shoot the oncoming bad guy. The hero first uses a pistol. When that proves ineffective, he switches off-screen to an automatic pistol, which gets tossed for a machine gun in similar fashion. The bad guy keeps coming, so what does he do? He does another off-screen summoning and fires a bazooka at the bad guy.

Sadly, the movie failed to end immediately after reaching that glorious pinnacle. Jaani Dushman has no gore, terrible special effects, a non-linear or even non-coherent story and all of the actors are blatantly mailing it in for paychecks. In fact, this movie is frequently cited as a factor in turning off me the Hindi movie industry altogether.
I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
0

#168 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,599
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 05 August 2008 - 09:11 PM

bwgan;365462 said:

How many do I get :shocked:

Alexander - words fail me, I cannot even begin to describe how awful this film is...luckily I did not go to the cinema to watch it, but we did BUY the cd :folken:

The New World - I should have known because Colin Farrell is in it...but did the same as above...could not even make it to the end of the dvd.

Titanic and Sex in the City - *cough* have to admit that I haven't actually seen either of these...and nothing short of red hot needles in my eyes...no, make that including red hot needles in my eyes will persuade me to.**

Four Weddings and a Funeral - I was viciously tricked into watching that pile of @@@@@@@ (insert as many swear words as you can think up!) I will NEVER, EVER grant forgiveness :p.

Oh, there are just sooo many....


**Just because I haven't actually seen them doesn't mean I don't KNOW how crap they are...I'm a mother, I have...senses...you get given them when you go home from the hospital...along with eyes in the back of your head and the 'special' phrase book. :eek3:


The love story is Titanic is super cheesy, but overall it's not a bad movie.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#169 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 7,956
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 05 August 2008 - 09:21 PM

RLY is obviously in love with Leo.

Okay mine:

The Covenant - Damnit, that one scene of the car getting destroyed then put back together single-handedly got me to the theater. It was the only good frickin scene in the movie.

Last House on the Left - Well, it was considered one of the scariest movies of all time back in the day. Key phrase, back in the day. I watched it and laughed the entire way through.

Pearl Harbor - Enough with the damned love story, show me the Japanese destroying Pearl Harbor for an hour, and then the U.S. bombing Japan for another hour.

Pretty Woman - Dude, really? If you can pay for tang, there's no reason to sweep little miss prostitute off her feet. She's just going to use all your money.

Astronaut Farmer - Self explanatory.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#170 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,599
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 05 August 2008 - 10:16 PM

HoosierDaddy;365549 said:

Pearl Harbor - Enough with the damned love story, show me the Japanese destroying Pearl Harbor for an hour, and then the U.S. bombing Japan for another hour.


If you want to see Pearl Harbor without all the Affleck love story shittiness, watch Tora Tora Tora. It's an old movie, but the effects are great and the story is good. It's from the age when if they wanted to show a plane blowing up, they went out and blew up a plane. Good stuff.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#171 User is offline   Slum 

  • House Knight
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 1,989
  • Joined: 13-July 07

Posted 05 August 2008 - 10:28 PM

HoosierDaddy;365549 said:

RLY is obviously in love with Leo.

Okay mine:

The Covenant - Damnit, that one scene of the car getting destroyed then put back together single-handedly got me to the theater. It was the only good frickin scene in the movie.

Last House on the Left - Well, it was considered one of the scariest movies of all time back in the day. Key phrase, back in the day. I watched it and laughed the entire way through.

Pearl Harbor - Enough with the damned love story, show me the Japanese destroying Pearl Harbor for an hour, and then the U.S. bombing Japan for another hour.

Pretty Woman - Dude, really? If you can pay for tang, there's no reason to sweep little miss prostitute off her feet. She's just going to use all your money.

Astronaut Farmer - Self explanatory.


*Points and uses Nelson voice* Ha Ha! You watched Astronaut Farmer...
0

#172 User is offline   frookenhauer 

  • Mortal Sword
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 1,113
  • Joined: 11-July 08
  • Location:England
  • Interests:Women
    Money
    AI
    Writing

Posted 05 August 2008 - 10:53 PM

Thank god for poor memory! I'm not able to remember some of the shite I have actually sat through. I do remember some films that are generally crap, but have a certain element that makes them sort of watchable

People have already mentioned Johnny Pnemonic, It did have its moments, but not enough to be able to form a good enough defense against haters.

Krull, I still have a soft spot for this, even though almost everyone I've ever met hates it with a passion.

Fifth element. Its marmite.

Battlefield earth...actually I didn't like it all that much at all, yup its the worst movie I can remember.
souls are for wimps
0

#173 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 7,956
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 06 August 2008 - 01:05 AM

frookenhauer;365592 said:

Thank god for poor memory! I'm not able to remember some of the shite I have actually sat through. I do remember some films that are generally crap, but have a certain element that makes them sort of watchable

People have already mentioned Johnny Pnemonic, It did have its moments, but not enough to be able to form a good enough defense against haters.

Krull, I still have a soft spot for this, even though almost everyone I've ever met hates it with a passion.

Fifth element. Its marmite.

Battlefield earth...actually I didn't like it all that much at all, yup its the worst movie I can remember.


Krull was on the other day, and I couldn't help but watch it. It goes on the "terribly awesome" list.

I loved the Fifth Element; fantastic visuals.

@RLY: I've seen Tora, Tora, Tora and I really liked it. However, Pearl Harbor could have had excellent and crisp special effects. Instead those two (whoever they are, the chick is hot though) are going at it in a storm of laundry or whatever.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#174 User is offline   Cerberus Maw 

  • Corporal
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 43
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 06 August 2008 - 02:08 AM

I liked the fifth element too, except for one..small....TINY.. little thing...

The robot aliens were quite possibly the most retarded, unfunny, uncool ..gah, no amount of superlatives can convey the stupidity of these walking ducks.

And getting stuck in your own wall, after being shot by a gun from the early 1900's when your supposed to be uber powerful? Yeah, my faith in you guys saving humanity is completely restored/justified.
0

#175 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

  • The Midnight Special
  • Group: Administrators
  • Posts: 5,811
  • Joined: 01-January 03
  • Location:Alberta, Canada

Posted 06 August 2008 - 02:14 AM

I still hate A.I. more than any other movie I've seen in theaters.
0

#176 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 7,956
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 06 August 2008 - 04:17 AM

RodeoRanch;365655 said:

I still hate A.I. more than any other movie I've seen in theaters.


Damnit. I liked A.I. The acting was crap, but the plot was fantastic (to me, and obviously only me).
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#177 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,599
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 06 August 2008 - 05:15 AM

HoosierDaddy;365639 said:

Krull was on the other day, and I couldn't help but watch it. It goes on the "terribly awesome" list.

I loved the Fifth Element; fantastic visuals.

@RLY: I've seen Tora, Tora, Tora and I really liked it. However, Pearl Harbor could have had excellent and crisp special effects. Instead those two (whoever they are, the chick is hot though) are going at it in a storm of laundry or whatever.


Affleck can ruin a movie like no other man. It's his only talent.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#178 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 7,956
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 06 August 2008 - 05:24 AM

Raymond Luxury Yacht;365705 said:

Affleck can ruin a movie like no other man. It's his only talent.


I think you have a secret crush on Bennifer. How do you like them apples?
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#179 User is offline   SilentHunter 

  • I hate silence!!
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 61
  • Joined: 22-June 08
  • Location:India

Posted 07 August 2008 - 09:02 AM

amphibian;365482 said:

I would consider all of these movies to be solid, competent pieces, while excepting The New World - which was a really good movie. I haven't seen Sex & The City, so I'll hold off on that. Your hatred seems to find undeserving targets.

Mine: Jaani Dushman

Go to that link and read Wikipedia's summary. I assure you the movie's worse than that. It's supposed to be a Hindi repackaging of the Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer franchises, but I guess the makers couldn't decide if it was to be camp or serious.

The movie's one saving grace is a scene where the magical human snake bad guy attacks one of the doomed "teens". The movie blatantly rips off the liquid metal Terminator special effects here as the victim steps off his motorcycle to shoot the oncoming bad guy. The hero first uses a pistol. When that proves ineffective, he switches off-screen to an automatic pistol, which gets tossed for a machine gun in similar fashion. The bad guy keeps coming, so what does he do? He does another off-screen summoning and fires a bazooka at the bad guy.

Sadly, the movie failed to end immediately after reaching that glorious pinnacle. Jaani Dushman has no gore, terrible special effects, a non-linear or even non-coherent story and all of the actors are blatantly mailing it in for paychecks. In fact, this movie is frequently cited as a factor in turning off me the Hindi movie industry altogether.


way to go!!.................this movie is the best thing to joke about wen with frnds!!...........A terrible scene shows a man standing in the middle of the road holding some sort of religious locket...the villain is driving a jeep and rams the locket holding man.......and then!??..........we see that the locketed man is just standing as he is and the jeep has been chopped into 2 pieces when it hit the man!>.............big lolz!
0

#180 User is offline   Cougar 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
  • View gallery
  • Group: Administrators
  • Posts: 3,028
  • Joined: 13-November 06
  • Location:Lincoln, Lincolnshire, UK.

Posted 07 August 2008 - 09:05 AM

I'm buggered if I'm checking that I haven't already siad it but

25th hour is fail incarnate, so dull

Broken Flowers is awful but it's supposed to be a modern take on nihilism and futility so I guess I shouldn't be surprised

and GOD-flying fucking jeesus-ZILLA was beyond bad.
I AM A TWAT
0

Share this topic:


  • 14 Pages +
  • « First
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • 11
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

15 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 15 guests, 0 anonymous users