Malazan Empire: jesse - Viewing Profile - Malazan Empire

yeah, your kids need wine - seems like a worthy enough cause to get a scheme going - we'll get the admins to pay you and i'll convince people to sign up to malazanempire.com

Thanks Yeah i made it! yeah Tsundoku you're like my first encounter with anyone on this site - felt like you were like my tour guide or something

Hello! I'm new - new here and really kind of just new to interacting with people over the internet - new as an adult at least (after almost ten years, i've finally recovered - maybe)

I'm sitting here at my desk which is mostly covered with audio wires and scrap-paper-scribblings with just enough space for me and some keys to type - but i'm comfy, though vaguely nervous (and the kookaburra are outside laughing) - i feel all tongue-tied at this keyboard
I feel i have a whole lot of passion swimming under the surface and a whole lot for malaz - i'm currently reading through the book of the fallen books a second time - at the business end with toll the hounds, and gently fired up for forge of dark which i just recently got a hold of - brand new and the pages are just too white, bleached, almost shiny - feels sharp on my hands, just begging to be worn out through reading and reading

i also have this deep part in me that resists community - like, i dont see myself in a lot of places where i 'should' be able to see myself, like i'm deeply into (making) music but dont really feel at home in music shops or the whole youtube thing or - but at the same time i crave it, so its like some tug of war. i've known about this site for ages and have wandered in and out, lurking, but suddenly i feel like participating, and something about what erikson said in some book authors dedication note about the 'scary folks' at malazanempire.com, got me intrigued - and then like, something about what i've seen, i feel included, even though i am just some newbie ghost whose presence is only tracked by invisible code and machines wirring around in underground vaults - but there's jsut something in this, i dont know what it is -

though i still feel this sense of nerves and 'danger' coming from old wounded places while writing this, i feel like this could be a place to do it - something about that i see no ads poking in the margins of these webpages, that its not some gateway to buying something or about generating followers or climbing some ladder -

anyway anyway - happy to be here and also thank you very much to the admin/s who got me in through the busted email system xD