Malazan Empire: TheRetiredBridgeburner - Viewing Profile - Malazan Empire

So how's ST academy. I am too scared to watch it yet.

Double post. Life has been pretty shite lately. My son has been having anxiety attacks. He's 9, he has nothing real to worry about. I don't THINK we have been terrible parents although I am sure we have our blindspots. I know anxiety is a thing that some people just have, it's how they are wired. I feel we could have handled it reasonably well except he throws up! So if he's at school he is sent home for 48 hrs, if he isn't with a parent he is sent home, or if he is out with us it's a bloody faff to sort it out and we're treading on eggshells all the time to avoid the puke. My nerves have been shredded. It's also got to be really bad for him physically to be throwing up so often. So our lives shrunk a lot while we tried to break the cycle of puking as the more he pukes, the easier it seems to come. Bless the little bugger, he's played football matches immediately after puking, been sent to holiday camps, trick or treat, aeroplane flights. He self-moderates by refusing breakfast a lot. He bounces back pretty quickly once he does puke but the build up is a nightmare as he doesn't want to puke, he doesn't even know why he feels sick, we don't want him to puke, but puking seems to be a release. We have been trying to break the cycle. Me and Mr PigDog haven't been getting along as we disagree with how to deal with it, which obviously helps nothing if not actively makes it worse. Everyone has an opinion on what to do but I'm the one the kid ultimately comes to for comfort.

Anyway, after 9 months of a lot of puking we're on about 12 months of it kind of being under control with occasional relapses. It has been replaced slightly with needing to wee but that's perfectly manageable! Physical causes have been ruled out so it's definitely psychological.

So now there is bandwidth to deal with the root cause of the anxiety. He's always been a high energy kid, not one for sitting down and he hates school work - anything where he has to hold a pencil is a battle. But he can do it. As the rest of his class settle down as they get older he is starting to stand out more. So his school last week said they think we should get him tested for neurodiversity. They don't lean towards a specific condition (which doesn't fecking help) but they think it's the only thing to explain what is going on. So we'll be doing that but if he does have something I expect it's borderline or otherwise we would have gone in that direction much younger. I'm leaning towards ADHD but he doesn't fit that many of the criteria (not that I'm an expert). However over diagnosis is a real thing now (not remotely criticising anyone with a diagnosis, it's just a big complicated thing). So I don't want him to be diagnosed with something he doesn't have. Or waste time going up a blind alley.

We had a good run at home over autumn so I kicked off looking for a new job because my current one makes me unhappy and I have been massively overworked now for years. It's a big task to look for a job, and work and parent and just generally do life. We have no family nearby (they wouldn't be helpful if they were) and friends he can go to are limited due to the puking.

So I'm climbing the walls basically. I know the right thing to do for each specific issue but there aren't enough hours in the frickin day.