[Abyss]

RING OF SOMETHING DRAGONS by EVLustbader. First book in years that I could not be bothered to finish.

And just for consistency, Terry Goodkind makes my eyes bleed.

- Abyss, wishes Lusty had stuck to ninjas.

[Brys]

As usual in threads like these, it's a competition between Crossroads of Twilight by Robert Jordan and Wit'ch War by James Clemens. But fortunately, the decision's been made for me (WOT's excluded).

Wit'ch War - first, look at the first word of the title. That's right, there's an apostrophe in the middle of Witch, and it isn't because of my bad typing. It's there every time. And almost every race has one somewhere - eg rock'goblin, el'vin etc. It really becomes annoying. But then I go on about how names shouldn't be enough to make you give up on a book/series.
But - originality. None. Ok, maybe there was some potential at the beginning of the series. But the races, characters and plot must be one of the most cliched I've ever read: This guy makes Eddings look original.
Characters: Inconsistent, stereotypes, unrealistic, at best.
Plot: Entirely predictable. Literally, in the previous book you could work out how the main plot progressed by reading the title. In this book, it wasn't very different.
Writing: poor, but not exceptionally poor. The dialogue's awful, painful to read, but the rest of the prose isn't the worst I've red.
Pacing: Not very good either.

What's the worst thing? - He showed potential in the first ten pages of the series. Not the same kind of potential that Martin/Erikson/Bakker show, admittedly, but more than Robert Jordan does in the Eye of the World. And then he gives up on the interesting story (the dark lord wins the war, protagonists brother sacrifices himself and then the protagonist kills a child) - and goes to a cliched, awful story, which gets progressively worse.

[Rich the Great]

Yeah, the first book in the Ring of Five Dragons thing by Lustbader is atrocious. As are some Terry Brooks novels I read in my younger days, naivety and all that. Those have to be the worst fantasy books I've read.

[Werthead]

The Tamuli, by David Eddings, in particular the end of the second book and the start of the third. Atrocious, badly-written, illogical, infantile garbage of the highest order. The last book that I read that actually made me angry with how atrocious it was.

[ObsoleteResolve]

Christopher Paolini's Eragon is an abortion.

Ian Irvines "A Shadow on the Glass" should have been subtitled "How Not To Write." There were so many third rate hack errors throughout it, stuff that any basic course talking anything about writing would say "NO, BAD, BAD AUTHOR, BAD" that I literally threw it down and just said screw it.

Bakkers "The Darkness That Comes Before" infuriated me as well, another book I still haven't finished. The fact that he becomes so absorbed in the philosophy (which is interesting, yes, but constantly ruminating on it in every other damned sentence...) that alot of the actual description just wanders by untold... Gack.

And to complete the process that'll get me napalmed:

Mievilles "Perdido Street Station," which I did finish, was terrible. His creativity is amazing, I can throw no stones at that, but the fact that he becomes so damned absorbed into the stylistic elements he uses to the point where the actual substance suffers... Meh. Tell the damned story already.

.david

[McLovin]

I've waded through mountains of crap fantasy, hard to say what's the worst. The D&D novels I read were pretty execrable - there's one in particular that I think was a Forgotten Realms-set novel that focused on some Native American-like doofus mage guy. Can't remember the title, but it was just stupid...

[Arkmam]

The Earthsea books. Rushing through the story, giving no character the time to flesh out and appear remotely believable... Garbage.

[caladanbrood]

Fool said:

Hobb's Farseer - Oh no! My kingdom is in danger, what am i gonna do! ....... oh! I know! I'll go on a mad quest for..... something. I'm not even sure what exactly... but IT'LL HELP!

Thank god, someone else who can't stand Hobb. I couldn't force myself to even finish the first book.

[Tsundoku]

Too many to get into detail. Some notables:

Eddings "The Redemption of Althalus". Everything you hate about Eddings' writing in one convenient package. The Belgaraiad was OK for its' time, but why oh why did he have to repeat it every time he wrote another book/series?

Jordans' "The Path of Daggers" should have been subtitled "The Blathering of Generic Female Extras". Good God, how many times can a woman smooth her skirts, sip tea, examine the furniture and tug at her braid? Get a hobby you silly bints!

Robin Hobbs' Farseer Book 3 (have repressed the memory of the title). Mad quest? Check. Irritating, whiny lead character? Check. Interminable journey down some long-ass old road? Check. Whimpering for someone to "please make the pain go away"? Check ...

Cheers,

La Sombra, glutton for punishment

[QuickTidal]

Okay, well since WOT is out....I'm gonna say it anyway...Stopped reading book 1 halfway in, bloody AWFUL!

Otherland: the first one....repressed the name......was so bad that after trying to read it 3 TIMES in as many years I couldn't get past like page 100.....oh, and for the record Mr. Williams the punctuation ! should NOT start a persons name, it makes NO SENSE!

I agree about Terry Brooks. I read the prequel book to the Shannara books, and it was so-so, but then I tried the actual series and hated it. Couldn't get through the first book. Also, Brooks "A Knight of the word series". I actually read Running with the Demon a long time ago, and it was just awful contemporary fantasy.

Spellfire by Ed Greenwood. Okay, I cannot explain how juvenile the writing was. This is the guy who invented a roll playing universe...and it shows. Trying to get through Spellfire was like trying to watch the live action Dungeons & Dragons movie....my a$$ hurt.

Pick a Xanth novel by Piers Anthony. Seriously, pick one. It doesn't matter which one you pick.....they are all the same, and attrociously so. I think the worst of all of them was the one that actually had the word PANTIES in the title. This guy needs a date.

Goodkind (once again, don't care if it is off limits...LOL): 3 chapters of Richards torture....nuff said. Blecch.

Dragons of the Summer Flame by Weis & Hickman. Now I for one enjoyed the Chronicles trilogy, and I TOLERATED Legends Trilogy (and later I was very luke warm about the War of the Souls trilogy), but Dragons of the Summer Flame is hands down the WORST grab for cash written tripe EVER. We get at the begininng the promise of something somewhat cool....Raistlin may have a daughter....and what do I get treated to, a retread of the wastings from the first two series, with bit characters and people like Palin, who lets face it is LAME, and then it got bad......avoid this like the plague....but then I say the Chronicles is really the only one worth a read, and that only for a fantasy nostalgia kick from '85.

Earthsea. Crap.

The One Kingdom: Book One Swans War: Good GAWD, this guy wants to be Jordan so bad he can taste it, and a poor imitation of Jordan earns nothing from me but a heavy thumbs down.....I mean seriously dude, copy a GOOD writer at least, geez!

Dhampir by Barb Hendee, J.C. Hendee: Let me explain this badness to you. Picture if you will, a tame, episode of Buffy, where she fights 3 SO-SO, no name style vampires, who are in no way associated with a big baddie, or any arcing plotline, and instead are the the ONLY baddies. I realized that these guys were it...these people were the bad guys and the point of the book. It was like when watching The Fifth Element and thinking "Geez, Mr Zorg aint a very good bad guy....actually he screws up ALOT"....and then realizing that he is in fact the bumbling sidekick to the true baddie "The dark Planet thingie/ultimate evil or whatever". This is like GRADE 1 in creative writing, a very simplistic tpe of storyline to create to have the reader follow....and these authors (it blows my mind that there are two of them) CAN'T even do that!!They make make me SAD. Main character hunts them with her elf friend, whilst pretending to be a vampire, and they brood about her....and then there's a confrontation at the end...um...hi WORST PLOT EVER. My 10 year old niece could write a better book....in feces....on the wall.

Last, but certainly not least....

ShadowMoon by George Lucas & Chris Claremont: So your thinking the following: A sequel to Willow....RAWK!! The guy who wrote Star Wars.....RAWK! The guy who wrote X-men comics for years...RAWK!! Right? Wrong, so very very wrong. Okay, so first off let's kill off Madmartigan and Sorcha in the prologue...yeah, seriously, let's do that...and for no real apparent reason...oh, and why not never mention them again, yeah okay good. Secondly, let's make Willow change his name to Thorn Drumheller, wear his hair like a daikini, ignore the fact that he is actually a NELWYN sorceror...yeah good good. Thirdly, let's introduce what is essentially a BLUE version of Chewbacca as a sidekick, with a DUMB name like Ryn Takasma.a.dlmfcoanvdic whatever....okay good. Got all that? Need I go on? Seriously, this series was the reason people should not have expected the new SW prequels to be written well....I mean COME ON!


However, like to point out that I enjoyed Hobbs Farseer series (mostly the first book), the second series was bad.

I also have just tonight finished Bakker "The Darkness That Comes Before, and I dug it ALOT.

[Valgard]

Thomas whining annoying git covenant god just do something stop whinging all the time he really annoyed me.

The runelords series book one good new ideas all nice book 2 unreadable utter crap nothing to recommend it. Read through 100 pages and hurled it away in disgust.

Crown of shadoews by someone 20 pages i and my brain was trying to crawl out of my ear.

Kushiels dart look at me I am pretty oh and another sex scene for no real reason bah reached half way with it and then no more.

Terry brooks not the worst but not very good.

Fiests lastest works bah dull and cliched

that is it that i can think of right now but am sure there are more that I have wiped form my mind for being to bad to remember.

[Morgoth]

Just have to add at first that people may have conflicting oppinions about Bakker, that's ok. But claiming Perdido Street Station to be a bad book is enought o receive the deathpenalty ..

I just read Magicians Guild, Novice, and Black Magician by whatever her name is. Terrible terrible books. Harry Potter for the retarded. And what is it with these authors who feel they have to use the first twenty pages of a new book to summarize the old ones? I'm not a moron and I get very anoyed when the author insist on threating me as one. And oh yes, the plot is about as interesting as a unadorned concrete room.

WoT and SoT ofc, but that's obvious..

I don't really mind Brooks and Erikson, they are not written for people our age and should thus not given the same criterias as say Erikson and Martin. I do not complain about the simple plot of books I read to my siblings.
When that is said, the Redemption of Althalus was terrible.

which author made those sci fi books with dragons and time travel? Whoever she was, she must die.

[Arkmam]

Yeah, I forgot Terry Brooks. Worse that Earthsea = very, VERY bad.
And Thomas Covenant. Yuck.

For the record, I need no reason to say that something sucks, due to my godhood.

[Werthead]

QuickTidal said:

Okay, well since WOT is out....I'm gonna say it anyway...Stopped reading book 1 halfway in, bloody AWFUL!

Otherland: the first one....repressed the name......was so bad that after trying to read it 3 TIMES in as many years I couldn't get past like page 100.....oh, and for the record Mr. Williams the punctuation ! should NOT start a persons name, it makes NO SENSE!

ShadowMoon by George Lucas & Chris Claremont: So your thinking the following: A sequel to Willow....RAWK!! The guy who wrote Star Wars.....RAWK! The guy who wrote X-men comics for years...RAWK!! Right? Wrong, so very very wrong. Okay, so first off let's kill off Madmartigan and Sorcha in the prologue...yeah, seriously, let's do that...and for no real apparent reason...oh, and why not never mention them again, yeah okay good. Secondly, let's make Willow change his name to Thorn Drumheller, wear his hair like a daikini, ignore the fact that he is actually a NELWYN sorceror...yeah good good. Thirdly, let's introduce what is essentially a BLUE version of Chewbacca as a sidekick, with a DUMB name like Ryn Takasma.a.dlmfcoanvdic whatever....okay good. Got all that? Need I go on? Seriously, this series was the reason people should not have expected the new SW prequels to be written well....I mean COME ON!

I had deleted Shadowmoon from my brain because it was so bad. I remember there being a map showing the main continent and it was something like 10,000 miles across and the action in the book covered something like 1% of it. Pointless.

I enjoyed Otherland. It was very episodic, to the extent where an entire novel's-worth of material could be culled from the second and third volumes and dropped. However, many of the individual episodes in the story were quite interesting and the story's pace felt snappier than Memory Sorrow and Thorn. I really enjoyed MS&T but found the third book ludicrously overwritten and the happy ending was totally out of keeping with the rest of the series. Otherland's ending was much better, much more downbeat.

Oh yeah, !Xabbu is a Botswanan bushman whose names in real life are often preceded by clicks and gutteral sounds which have been translated into English as exclamation marks. Yeah, Williams could have dropped it, but the point he was making is that these remote tribes have been forgotten by the rest of the world and he wasn't going to go around tampering with their spellings merely to placate a Western audience. Besides, after about the first three times I just got used to it.

[Illuyankas]

Morgoth said:

which author made those sci fi books with dragons and time travel? Whoever she was, she must die.

Anne McCaffrey? Check out this site for the source of this (and yes, she does suck); http://rinkworks.com...inute/sff.shtml

The Collected Works of Anne McCaffrey

Female Lead
I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know.
Male Lead
I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know.
(They find out.)

THE END