Maybe saying its the vocabulary isn't the most accurate way for me to describe my frustration. Maybe it would be better to say "distracting phrases that imply substance but only serve to distract." Or maybe another way would be to say that its overly "artsy." Here is an example that I came across last night, and maybe it means something, and maybe it doesn't: "Under the ragged Spiritwalker robe-its orange faded to dusty rust beneath the endless sun-his gray skin had darkened into an olive green,
as if his father's blood had answered this wastleland's ancient call." (DG, page 19). See what does that mean? There seems to be a correlation between the color of his skin and his father being a Jaghut...ok, I understand that, but what is this mess about his father being a Jaghut, Icarium's skin color,
and a wastleland's ancient call. Now, I can be totally wrong here as I haven't read any farther, but why add the part about the wasteland's ancient call....it implies a correlation between Icarium's skin color and the wasteland. Unless there is more to that, it was only an unnecessary distraction, and, IMHO, an an example of being overly "artsy", and I see phrases like this all over the place. I trudge through them because I want to read the story, but the story would be a much much smoother read without them....unless of course, they actually have substance.
If it had been written like this I would have had no complaints: "Under the ragged Spiritwalker robe-its orange faded to dusty rust beneath the endless sun-his gray skin had darkened into an olive green, hearkening to his father's bloodline."
Here are some from GOTM. Its not that the vocab is confusing, its more about the way in which it was written. "The Vanes silence announced the sudden falling off of the sea breeze that came clambering over the ragged walls of Mock's hold, then it creaked back to life as the hot, spark-scattered and smoke filled breath of the Mouse Quarter reached across the city to sweep the promontory's heights." Basically that says that the air and smoke from the Mouse Quarter reached its way to the cities hieghts. Why use anthropomorphism with Mock's Vane; why say "smoke filled breath"....just say smoke/air/pungent air/seared air/choking smoke. Sorry if I'm rambling, its just that I have to rephrase far too many sentences in my own words while reading, but I like the story so I do it....but dag gone it I can vent, and ultimately, its phrases and word choices like that that made me put down GOTM over 10 times before I finally just decided to stick it out.
This post has been edited by Ramonb: 16 May 2010 - 02:04 PM