[Cause]

Okay. The thing about harper not able to stop the war still bothers me. He is king. Is katrina meant to have so much power. Are they equal leaders or does katrina have more power.

The history of the league. Carson and luc can work discussing evrything from the fall to the rise of the league and the current war. A military meeting of the legua could also work with someone discussing their rise to power by detailing the war from start to finish.

Speaking of luc if his powers are so drained how does he keep controll of super demon lord?

Your religeon thing is cool no complaints rom me. THE kALI PRiest were especially cool

Good luck.

[drinksinbars]

well i finished chapter 8 and am quite happy with it so am just gonna post it now and keep the wolves from my door for another day.

so as always enjoy.

[Cause]

Okay reading about ascendancy I was ready to smack you down but the idea was your own so dont worry. The idea of using a class to teach the history was brilliant. However listening to depayans history I was confused. It says haroer was training for war while his wife was always trying the route of diplomacy yet I thought she asked harper to train and only after her love for diplomacy had been replaced by a love for freedom. still good chapter and love the fight.

A question though. When the Asians had closed their borders the method was extraordinary, a hybrid of magic and technology-do you meant te asians used hybrids to guard their border. I thought it was mentioned that it was thought impossible and people were not even sure if the asians had been able to or something like that. Possible its been to long since I read that bit but..

Anyway looking forward to chap 9 or should I say 89

[drinksinbars]

@cause the fight scene is slightly off in that way, yes the assassins are the priests.

point 2 will be explained in the next set of histories for katrina and harper

harper is like a battle king and if he asked his men to back down from a fight then they would but the war is being led by katrina and unless both she and harper publicly announced an end to it the people would continue fighting, she started the war in many ways and means to end it although harper can see the only real end is their destruction and the goddess is blind to that.

i have written a history of the league, and i may write a chapter where its discussed soon but i am still trying to put a charcter in a place where its reasonable for them to talk about it. personally i think the history will be discussed between carson and luc as they seem most likely to discuss it, what do you think???

the think about the UD is that its taking a snapshot of harper in that period between the prologue and the 1st chapter. that will be explained soon and hopefully the circumstances surrounding it are going to make you go ahhhhhh!!! so thats how it happened.

priests in my world are a strange thing, and i am using very naughty sort of ideals for each priesthood making hem more a charicature of a priest hood than anything, for in my world the old religions never died out as the gods exist. the priest in this part at the torture scene is a member of the lower council who works with vlad, i didnt give him a name as i am beginning to get a massive and daunting list of characters and am trying to not over extend myself. the priests of kali serve themselves and others if it suits their purposes as do many other faiths in the world. the more powerful ones are laws unto themselves in many ways and the governemtn works hard to keep on their god sides.

ill rework a bit of chapter eight so the fight scene flows better and try to explain more why harper needs katrina to stop the war, i wrote that chapter so much faster than the others it flowed out so i expected lots of mistakes. glad you enjoyed it.

damn this post is long

[Cause]

chapter 11
-A good chapter which i enjoyed reading
-perhaps you should have explained erlier thomas works for the network and what it is. (perhaps you have done so, have not read revised chapters yet)
-perhaps explain how fights can be used to guage an assasins skill. for the elite yes but i imagine the ordinary fighters are not going to go in fighting to kill a target.
-really getting a sense of thomas. Wish i knew more of his past.
-some real intrigue has been introduced.
-and just out of curiousity, does the league conscript soldiers and if so i would imagine elites would be picked up in a flash.
-Not sure if the parts with matilda should be in this chapter brokes the flow of the other plot lines a bit.

[drinksinbars]

if you reread harpers chapter he states that katrina rules, and although he is high king he spends much of his time doiing war games etc. the people obey harper but follow katrina.

luc isnt controlling a demon, he was making the point that the demon was imprisoned in the chalice, its not even an especially powerful demon. The world is built on symbolism and words and the less complex something is the easier it is to manipulate. luc was showing carson that in order to create a complex technology with magic incorporated then it would be exceptionally hard.

plus have you not noticed that the council has a lot of magic users?? when i reveal the league history it should help understand the war aswell.

ps heres the revised chapter 8 with minor changes to the temple fight and a very minor change to katrinas sectino to expland on her place in the league and her rule oof ireland. if the fight seems disjointed still give m examles as im unsure exacly where the continuity errors are

[Lord Gordonis]

1st chapter and prologue very good

[drinksinbars]

ok time for an update i think, been to long without any new material, if anyone fancies a read i can email what used to be the first four chapters as they were in the old format and has now been revised. Those four chapeters have transformed into shorter (hopefully) better chapters so there are now 14 chapters, clocking in at around 85 pages, instead of four.

if anyone wants a copy they can post their email address or email me directly to request a copy.

bendoran@hotmail.co.uk

[drinksinbars]

im currently writing the next set of chapters, with round two of each persons story, im having great difficulty flowing a certain aspect of the london side though it is high tension and quite enjoyable to read. plus i am trying to add in a nice back history which will be expanded upon. expect the next five chapters perhaps at the end of next week, i dont want to just release one or two at a time now but prefer to work on the story in larger sections.

what did you thin anyway?? is the story working well? are the characters good or bad or unrealistic?? whats working well and whats not.

oh another major point soon will be dealing with the magic and fighting systems which i have sort of worked out now

[Fist Gamet]

So should I wait?

[Yellow]

Yeah, I'll have a squint at it

phil.monks@btinternet.com I'm not bothered about file format or size.

I haven't read the older version, so you'll get a fresh perspective on it (hopefully).

EDIT - ^^What Bruk just said

[Lord Gordonis]

yep very good eagerly anticipatng the next chapters

[drinksinbars]

just download those last two zip files, they have the whole story so far. if you want to wait a few weeks until i finish this first part thats ok, cause ill be posting the revised and final version of this book. or emailing it too people if they prefer.

i have one and a half chapters to complete before then though and some of the early chapters need work. but if you want to give it a go before then i will post the new stuff soon and the revised stuff soon after.

[drinksinbars]

here you all go, this is the first chapter i have written without a fight scene!!!!!!

(((damn no ones gonna read it now!!!)))

well enjoy, and comment!!!

[Cause]

I've heard its good (Cause says so, and I trust his taste).

why just cause i read and likes yours. Hope my taste does not disapoint

[drinksinbars]

I probably didnt explain the war games well enough, Harper is glad to be a member of the league at that point in time. Contacting some of the greatest generals alive he is trying to learn the art of war, to do so he holds giant war games between generals, piting armies against one another within the type of simulation centres described in chapter one. These areas are like major areas where magic and technology allow full scale wars to be carrie dout without much risk of death etc.

By holding the games he is simply pitting himself and what he has learned against the generals. most of the time he loses as, you probably didnt notice, they are all generals from our history who are quite prominant tacticians. katrina proposed this in order to allow harper to become the best active general in the league for the day when she started her rebellion.

i didnt want to reveal anything about katrina and her reasons here as she will have her own flashbacks with some more reasons, but it is kind of hinted by harper in the wedding scene. katrina is almost a goddess, the living heir of tara. her proud nature is due to her belief that she should rule ireland alone, without Harper even!! the character of katrina we see earlier in the book is different as after the fall with most of her followers dead Tara is a weak goddess and therefore her control of katrina is gone.

i have finished my full synopsis now, so know exactly where i am going now expect one major ass conforntation ina transylvania castle, and a giant battle in north italy. plus more plot intrigue in the League, and back stabbing and betrayali the council. to top theres gonna be one major nexus of activity in istanbul when all the major players who live long enough will come out to play.

chapter eight is in the works. i might go through chapter seven again Ironbars if you feel those points need explaining. tell me though cause if you think its not important i might leave it, but if its too much of a leap say and i will go back through it.

thanks again, ALL POSTS WELCOME!!!!

[drinksinbars]

no im not really a big fan of the matrix, but each elite has different abilities which have grown out of their experiences, harpers a big man and so believes himself indestructible, when he fights he growns in strength and speed but also in mass and weight, allowing his body to absorb impacts. Although he moves fast enough his powers allow him to wade through things like bullets etc as if he was covered by a shield.

aiko is a different matter, and although similar to an elite she is not exactly the same thing and i hope to shock and amaze with the revelations regarding her and draw that in with another character or two

chapter 8 is katrinas chapter and will expand on all points brought up by harpers distorted history. your not gonna find out what happened to his sword though for another short while. in the fight he has one hand on the handle the other on the blade.

harpers not high king bbecause ireland was destroyed by luc and his high council of mages aka the fall. as for katrina loving harper you will just have to read chapter eight which is coming along quite quickly so shouldnt be too long. in the prologue the major tells harper to go after the council because katrinas in charge, the prologue actually takes place a couple of years before the story kicks off in which time harper rejoined the league and begun training and attacks. when we rejoin the story at the villiage harper has still not been convinced of her return but subconciously he knows shje is alive and is seeking forgiveness for killing her. dont worry ill explain that too.

but did you enjoy it?? i have my synopsis done so i know where all those are going and hopefully you wont be disappointed.

[Malarion]

@DiB - I'll wait for the finished edition. No point reading it before you've polished it up.

@Cause - No, actually because you like Erikson and Martin, which shows good taste. Although liking my book is always a bonus.

[Iron Bars]

When can we expect a new chapter?