Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1581 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 December 2021 - 09:07 PM

Devin Nunes. Congressman representing a district in California. He's has an ongoing beef with the twitter account (https://twitter.com/DevinCow). Nunes has tried to sue twitter over it. Bing him if you want to go down that rabbit hole. In short, he's a Trump bootlicker.

I probably should have added context to the pics, I normally assume people watch SNL Update. The segment from Saturday - Colin Jost's read with those pics:

"Representative Devin Nunes, seen here realizing a little came out on that one, announced that he is leaving congress to become CEO of Trump's new social mediad company, which based on this photo will be called Sqrt."

Nunes' goofy pic goes hand-in-shart with that joke. It was comedy gold and the laughs from the audience just made it a laugh out loud moment.
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#1582 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 17 December 2021 - 10:36 PM

'Trump claims people only say "Merry Christmas" because of him


[...] "they aren't saying other things, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, you know those names are being obliterated because of craziness." He said he encouraged his supporters not to shop at stores that "don't say Merry Christmas."


"Whether you're Muslim, whether you're Christian, where you're Jewish, everyone loves Christmas," he said. [...]


The interview is intercut with b-roll footage of Christmas trees bearing nationalistic ornaments – including one that says "Be Best," a reference to former First Lady Melania Trump's anti-bullying campaign – and features soft music over scenes of white families celebrating the holiday. [...] "If ending political correctness means having the freedom to speak one's mind, then it seems odd that its proponents would insist on what others must say."'


https://www.independ...e-b1978181.html

'The Washington Post reports Trump has been left "particularly upset" by a passage in Meadows's new book that recounts how dreadful the former president's hair looked when he was struck down with COVID-19. Meadows wrote that, when Trump was sick with COVID in the White House, he had "red streaks" in his eyes and that "his hair was a mess." According to the Post, Trump recently fumed to an unnamed associate: "This guy is talking about what I look like, in my bedroom." The report went on to say that Meadows has been left "distraught" by Trump's bad reaction to his book.'

https://www.thedaily...vid-report-says

'Trump fanatics are now threatening citizen's arrest against anyone who attacks the former president's "fragile psyche"'


https://www.rawstory...fragile-psyche/


'Top NYPD Cops Put on Desk Duty for Faking COVID Vax CardsNO JAB, NO JOB'

https://www.thedaily...=cheats&via=rss


Couldn't find any 'good cops' to arrest them?... of course the NYPD is the same police department that won a court case to keep screening out any applicants who score high on the IQ test.

(But hey, at least they'll get the ones who are 'smart' enough to intentionally fail the IQ test! No wonder they love Trump....)


'a rumor circulated on social media that former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates had created a video game in 1999 called [Omicron ...] about a demon pretending to be human to harvest souls.

While there was a video game called Omikron: The Nomad Soul — not "Omicron" as stated above — it was not created by Microsoft or Gates.

This video game was notable at the time because it featured musician David Bowie. [...] a clip of this virtual Bowie calling on the people of Omikron to "wake up" went viral:

"Wake up, people of Omicron. [...] and his corrupt government are lulling you to sleep [okay that last bit sounds like Biden...] in order to control you better. They have transformed you into puppets that are manipulated by [...] and the demons. Join the awakened ones, and rise up to fight for your freedom. Together, we can win"

https://www.snopes.c...s-omicron-game/


'Biden: A Winter of Illness and Death Is Coming for the Unvaccinated'

https://www.thedaily...19-unvaccinated

Just what a demon would say! (Demons are usually right....)


'Alex Jones Wonders If Joe Biden Used "Weather Weapons" To Cause Deadly Tornadoes'


https://www.yahoo.co...-015445268.html


And all angels are Alex Jones. (Except, perhaps, the angel of death....)

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 17 December 2021 - 10:40 PM

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#1583 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 20 December 2021 - 01:29 AM

'Sarah Palin Says She'll Get COVID Jab "Over My Dead Body"
WELL, IF YOU INSIST'

https://www.thedaily...-event?ref=home
Posted Image


'"I think a lot of people are right now saying, 'I wish Donald Trump was president right now, this year, for Christmas," Huckabee continued. "What a great Christmas present that would be."

Trump responded with a series of falsehoods, including that gas in California is $7.50 a gallon, which is almost entirely false. The federal government's U.S. Energy Information Administration reports as of Monday the average price for regular gas on the west coast is $4.16/gallon.'

https://www.alternet...-mike-huckabee/

Posted Image

'Anti-5G Necklaces Worn by Conspiracy Nuts Are Radioactive


Nuclear experts are warning that jewelry marketed to protect wearers against 5G is actually radioactive. “Don’t wear it any more,” the Dutch authority for nuclear safety and radiation protection instructed, per the BBC. “Put it away safely and wait for the return instructions.” [...] “Energy Armor” necklace and a children's bracelet called “Magnetix Wellness.”'


https://www.thedaily...=cheats&via=rss
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#1584 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 20 December 2021 - 07:43 PM

'Trump met with boos after revealing he received Covid-19 booster'

https://www.cnn.com/...boos/index.html


Was 'during a stop of his tour with former Fox News host Bill O'Reilly', but I'd be booing too---want that fucker to die. Though it might be better if he died after winning the Republican primary, maybe midway through the general election (or would that prompt all the Trumpists taking over as local election officials to declare the election invalid if it isn't postponed?... hm).
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#1585 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 21 December 2021 - 09:20 PM

'Bill O'Reilly: I Had to Console Trump After Fans Booed Him
THERE, THERE

[...] "I said 'This is good for you, this is good that people see another side of you, not a political side, you told the truth [...]'" "I'm trying to tell President Trump, run on your record. [...] "'

https://www.thedaily...ooster?ref=home


'North Korea "bans laughing" during mourning for anniversary of Kim Jong-il's death

[...]

As part of the national memorial, North Koreans have reportedly been banned from showing any sign of happiness. [...] restrictions include an explicit ban on laughter and alcohol during the 11-day period of mourning.

[...] on the exact anniversary of Kim Jong-il's death[...] people had been banned from going grocery shopping.'

https://www.theguard...ils-death-video


'Reality Smacked Dems in the Face & Dems Are Smacking Manchin'

https://www.thedaily...anchin?ref=home

#HowTheSausageIsMade


'Kyle Rittenhouse Is Now the Hottest GOP Superstar Since Trump

[...] In the audience, thousands of high school and college-age students screamed and cheered, chanting "Kyle." Then, the sound system kicked in, playing a song that repeated Rittenhouse's name. Fireworks exploded.

Dressed in a navy blue suit and tie, and with one hand casually in his pocket, Rittenhouse finally strolled in.

[...] "Whether you agree the killing was justified or not, it's another leap and bound entirely to hype it up as epic."

"The message I get here is not that TPUSA thinks the killing was legal, but that it was awesome," Holt added. "And that's pretty fucked up for an org that specifically courts young people for politics."

[...] "perhaps the biggest celebrity the Right has had since Donald Trump rode the golden elevator into our nightmares,"'

https://www.vice.com...tar-since-trump

#CivilWar2.0HereWeCome

#It'sTimeToBakeTheKillerRobots
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#1586 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 22 December 2021 - 12:31 AM

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#1587 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 24 December 2021 - 04:00 PM

A Christmas miracle gifted to the forum on this Christmas Eve. All the best #HeWhoShallBeNamed compiled into one video.


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#1588 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 27 December 2021 - 07:03 PM




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#1589 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 December 2021 - 05:11 PM

'Rand Paul: Democrats "steal" elections by "convincing potential voters" in a "legally valid way"

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) [...]

"How to steal an election," Paul commented, before quoting from the article that Democrats' plans involved "seeding an area heavy with potential Democratic votes with as many absentee ballots as possible, targeting and convincing potential voters to complete them in a legally valid way, and then harvesting and counting the results."

[...]

"Convincing potential voters to cast legal ballots is the how you win elections in a democracy," commented CNN reporter John Harwood.

"They really believe it's a scandal to help legal voters who might oppose them to participate in democracy," wrote Georgetown University political scientist Donald Moynihan.

"This is what we call— wait for it— voting," replied Georgia State Law professor Anthony Michael Kreis'

https://www.alternet...nd-paul-voting/

'Mindfulness Is What's Missing From the Political Arena

Imagine a virtuous person. How will she behave? What trains of character will she embody? Philosophers and theologians have debated those questions for eons, but it's possible to establish a broadly acceptable basic sketch: A virtuous person will be ethical, mindful, and wise. Yet our political sphere tells us to be precisely the opposite, provides us with strong incentives to do so, and then celebrates and rewards those among us who stray the furthest from that virtuous ideal.

Let's start with ethics. In our interactions with others, the two most basic rules, taught in kindergartens around the world, are "don't hit people" and "don't take their stuff." While we should also seek to help each other, at the minimum we should avoid causing harm or taking from others what they haven't given freely. Yet the political sphere fundamentally depends on rejecting both mandates. The state's power comes from its ability to bring violence to bear, and everything the state does is paid for with resources its citizens were forced to turn over.'

- 'Reason', libertarian propaganda magazine

(If we were all mindful we would remember what we learned in kindergarten---taxation is theft, and theft is Evil! We learned it in kindergarten, Q.E.D.)

In case that didn't convince you (also from 'Reason'):

'Harry Potter Knew the Fake News Media Is the Enemy of the People'


'Right-wing anti-vaxxer Candace Owens is pushing a bogus cure that turns skin blue'

Why be Black or white when we can be Orange or blue?...

https://www.alternet...ce-owens-cures/

'UFC star B.J. Penn pushes unproven COVID treatment, vows to end pandemic if elected

"I just had coronavirus for the second time. I'm unvaxed. [...] I know I'm not a doctor, I know I'm not a scientist. I took oregano oil and I breathe oregano oil. There's a lot of people with a lot of different ways to do it. My friend did something like Joe Rogan did. But I always choose oregano oil, I love that stuff."

He had been vocal against the "unconstitutional" lockdowns imposed by the government in 2020. One of his campaign promises is to not only get rid of vaccine passports in Hawaii but to end the pandemic "as soon as my foot steps into the Governor's office."

"Enough is enough already!!! Penn for Governor and the pandemic in Hawaii ends forever," Penn wrote.

[...]

Penn is a former [...] UFC champion who was unceremoniously released in 2019 following a series of very concerning street fights, arrests, and legal issues that only continued after. He ended his UFC tenure after having just one win in his last 11 fights.'

https://www.bloodyel...me-ufc-mma-news

'The Right Wants to Make Disabled Veterans Into the New "Welfare Queens"'

https://jacobinmag.c...ors-gade-huang/


'Peter Navarro reveals new shocking detail about his and Steve Bannon's role in Trump 2020 election plot

"We spent a lot of time lining up over 100 congressmen, including some senators. It started out perfectly. At 1 p.m., Gosar and Cruz did exactly what was expected of them, [...] It was a perfect plan. And it all predicated on peace and calm on Capitol Hill. We didn't even need any protestors, because we had over 100 congressmen committed to it."

[...]

"Steve Bannon's role was to figure out how to use this information—what he called 'receipts'—to overturn the election result. That's how Steve had come up with the Green Bay Sweep idea,"

[...]

"We are right on the cusp of victory," Bannon said on the show. "It's quite simple. Play's been called. Mike Pence, run the play. Take the football. Take the handoff from the quarterback. You've got guards in front of you. You've got big, strong people in front of you. Just do your duty."

[... Navarro:] "It was better for me to spend that morning working on the Green Bay Sweep. Just checking to see that everything was in line, that congressmen were on board, [...] It was a pretty mellow morning for me. I was convinced everything was set in place."''

https://www.alternet...021/12/navarro/
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#1590 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 30 December 2021 - 08:35 PM

Alex Jones threatening to drop the hammer and share things about Trump because Trump is pro vax. All bs no doubt to keep his name bouncing near the top of the 'trending', but....

Posted Image


... go on.
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#1591 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 02 January 2022 - 09:40 PM

'Anti-Vax Leader Traveling Country With Guns, Flamethrower, and Fake Badge in Quest to Arrest Dem Governors

Anti-COVID-19 vaccine "Vaccine Police" organization leader [...] who has proudly claimed he would soon arrest Democrat Louisiana Gov. John Bel Edwards over vaccine mandates, has set off on a cross-country road trip with a fake badge and high capacity firearms. [...] has visited countless state offices and harassed officials over vaccines, masks, and mandates.

[...] "serving" people with packets of information he believes supports his conspiracy theory that COVID-19 vaccines are "bioweapons." [...] "All those bioweapons that we have, that are not vaccines, they all need to be lined up, and they need to be exterminated," Key said [...] while brandishing a flamethrower. [...] when asked about the guns and if he intends to bring them along when conducting the planned arrests, Key told The Daily Beast he is "never about violence." "I will do it [the citizen arrests] lawfully, and the sheriffs will be with me,"'

https://www.thedaily...ernors?ref=home

Right, he's only going to use those high-capacity guns in 'self-defense' (though the flamethrower might be more fun? he isn't afraid the vaccines will explode and infect him?) when the governor's guards try to stop him... just hope they're wearing good enough body armor.


'Prince Andrew Accuser Files for Evidence of Ability to Sweat
DRIP DRIP DRIP'

https://www.thedaily...bility-to-sweat

'Equality
Red States Call Nasdaq Board Diversity Rule 'Crude and Odious''

https://www.bloomber...rude-and-odious


'The New Political Cry in South Korea: 'Out With Man Haters'

[...] a type of political correctness enforced by young men angry at feminists.

They have shown up whenever women rallied against sexual violence and gender biases in South Korea. Dozens of young men, mostly dressed in black, taunted the protesters, squealing and chanting, "Thud! Thud!" to imitate the noise they said the "ugly feminist pigs" made when they walked.

"Out with man haters!" they shouted. "Feminism is a mental illness!"

[...] Its motto once read, "Till the day all feminists are exterminated!"

Its firebrand leader, Mr. Bae, showed up at a recent feminist rally​​ dressed as the Joker from "Batman" comics and toting a toy water gun. He followed female protesters around, pretending to, as he put it, "kill flies."

Tens of thousands of fans have watched his stunts livestreamed online, sending in cash donations.'

https://www.nytimes....-feminists.html


'South Korean Citizen Defects to North Korea in Rare Reverse Escape
WRONG DIRECTION

[...] It is unclear whether the person is still alive since North Korea has a "shoot-on-sight" policy to stop people from breaching its borders due to the COVID-19 pandemic.'

https://www.thedaily...-reverse-escape

Meanwhile in Philadelphia:
Posted Image

('Froggy Carr Wench Brigade' marches... why even bother with Let's Go Brandon? just have 'F*CK JOE BIDEN' ffs)



'"When we founded the study, I never thought that the environment would be like it was today," [...]

"I would never in my wildest dreams have imagined that we would be seeing people fighting on planes and beating each other up."'

https://news.yahoo.c...-151338019.html
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#1592 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 02 January 2022 - 10:12 PM

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#1593 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 02 January 2022 - 11:04 PM

Posted Image

Posted Image
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#1594 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 06 January 2022 - 07:33 PM

'Trump had such a good time watching the Capitol riot unfold on live TV that he rewound the coverage to watch it twice, according to his former press secretary Stephanie Grisham.

[...] "He was in the dining room gleefully watching on his TV as he often did, [saying] 'Look at all the people fighting for me,' hitting rewind, watching it again, that's all that I know,"'

https://www.thedaily...f=home?ref=home

'Biden: Trump wields a "dagger at the throat of democracy"' (other hand has a machine gun at the crotch of reality)

https://www.cnn.com/...c6da444d12c9d45

'[Former President] Carter warns America "teeters on the brink of a widening abyss" in stark op-ed'

https://www.cnn.com/...oped/index.html

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'[Florida Governor] DeSantis Says Reporters Treat Jan. 6 Like "Christmas" in Unhinged Anniversary Rant

[...] "This is their Christmas: January 6," he said. "They are going to take this and milk this for anything they to... smear anyone who ever supported Donald Trump."

he said that the ensuing investigations, which he referred to as "anything that Pelosi and the gang are doing," had been "nauseating" to watch. He then dabbled in the repeatedly disproven conspiracy theory that the riot was a false flag operation by the FBI. "Why do we not know some of the people who we know were really involved in orchestrating this, they got pulled off the Most Wanted list,"'

https://www.thedaily...nniversary-rant

'"What the hell is going on?" Tucker Carlson slams Ted Cruz for describing Jan. 6 as a "terrorist attack"

[...] Seething, Carlson added, "What are they busy doing? Repeating the talking points that Merrick Garland wrote for them."

"He described Jan. 6 as a violent terrorist attack. Of all the things Jan. 6 was, it was definitely not a violent terrorist attack. It wasn't an insurrection," Carlson exclaimed. "[...] Sorry! So why are you telling us it was, Ted Cruz?"

Carlson concluded with a question about Cruz's remarks saying, "What the hell's going on here?"

"You're making us think, maybe the Republican Party is as worthless as we suspected it was," Carlson said. "That can't be true. Reassure us, please, Ted Cruz."'

https://www.alternet...tucker-carlson/
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#1595 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 06 January 2022 - 09:11 PM

Since when has Ted Cruz been the voice of comparative sanity?
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#1596 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 06 January 2022 - 09:21 PM

I mean he was sane enough to flee his state in the middle of the fimbulwinter apocalypse.
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#1597 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 07 January 2022 - 03:41 AM

'Cruz Begs Tucker to Forgive Him—Tucker Makes Cruz Beg Harder
"I JUST DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"

In a moment that will draw parallels to Cruz humiliating himself before Trump in 2016, the Texas senator appeared on Tucker's show to grovel for forgiveness.

[...] while Cruz repeatedly claimed he'd made a "mistake" due to "sloppy and frankly dumb" phrasing, Carlson wouldn't let the [him] off the hook [...]

"I don't buy that," the Fox star interjected. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I've known you a long time since before you went to the Senate. You were a Supreme Court contender. You take words as seriously as any man who's served in the Senate. And every word—you repeated that phrase, I do not believe that you used that accidentally. I just don't!"

[...] he attempted to appeal to Carlson's ego.

[...]

Cruz went on to say that he understood "why people were angry" with his comments, claiming that it was within the context of the "corrupt corporate media" taking aim at "anyone who objected to election fraud" [...]

"Wait, wait, wait, can I just ask, I guess I just don't believe you! And I mean that with respect, because I have such respect for your acuity and your precision," said Carlson, alongside an on-air graphic blaring "Cruz'ing For A Bruising."'

https://www.thedaily...harder?ref=home
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#1598 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 07 January 2022 - 05:58 AM

Ah that's more what I'd expect.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#1599 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 07 January 2022 - 08:27 AM

It would be great TV if it wasn't so horrifying and with real global implications. USA, what are you doing?
Yesterday, upon the stair, I saw a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. Oh, how I wish he'd go away.
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#1600 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 07 January 2022 - 07:38 PM

1 year.

This year will see the slow moving race towards civil war accelerate as the midterms are decided and the Republicans gain control of congress. 2024 will see full on, naked civil war as the union starts to dissolve leading up the presidential election. If history books are around in 20 years, the first recorded Civil War 2.0 skirmishes in those books will be the unrest during summer of 2020, leading up to the insurrection on Jan. 6, 2021.


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