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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1341 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 24 March 2021 - 09:29 PM

You know...Political Comedy.
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#1342 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 24 March 2021 - 09:31 PM

The Aristocrats!
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#1343 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 25 March 2021 - 06:39 PM

'Graham's Followers Are Pissed He Thinks Jesus Would Be Pro-Vax

[...] Franklin Graham, president of Samaritan's Purse and a missionary known for vocalizing his evangelical views, announced on Facebook[...] "Based on the parable of the Good Samaritan in the Bible, I would have to say—yes, I think Jesus Christ would advocate for people using vaccines and medicines to treat suffering and save lives." [...] "How do you know what Jesus would do in this situation? Jesus was wise and would see this farce for what it is; brainwashing the weaklings of the world!" [...] criticized Graham and spread false information. "This vaccine has aborted Baby cells in it; Jesus would NOT advocate for anything such as that,"'

https://www.thedaily...f=home?ref=home

'Top Saudi: Sorry If My Chilling Death Threat Alarmed You

[...]

A UN investigator alleged this week that Awwad Alawwad threatened to have her "taken care of" over her Khashoggi probe—but he says it's all just a hilarious mix-up.

[...] Alawwad, the Saudi minister of culture and information, said in an extraordinary Twitter thread that the people who heard his alleged threat have got it wrong—and he hopes the misunderstanding won't detract from all the great work he and Saudi Arabia are doing to advance human rights.

"[...] While I cannot recall the exact conversations, I never would have desired or threatened any harm upon a U.N.-appointed individual, or anyone for that matter."

"I am disheartened that anything I have said could be interpreted as a threat. [...]"

[...] in an audacious claim, the minister went on to laud his country's human-rights record as the most-improved on Earth. Saudi Arabia consistently ranks among the worst performers for human rights. [...] lists it as the seventh most oppressive country in the world because of its entirely unelected government, routine use of torture and execution, and widespread discrimination against women and religious minorities.
However, Alawwad insisted that the country is doing its very best. [...] "I truly hope that this story was not concocted to distract from the important work we are doing to advance human rights in Saudi Arabia. [...]"

[The UN investigator], whose report into the Khashoggi murder concluded that there was evidence that the Saudi crown prince[...] was behind the crime, will probably need a bit more convincing.'

https://www.thedaily...ements?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 25 March 2021 - 06:40 PM

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#1344 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 25 March 2021 - 10:46 PM


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#1345 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 27 March 2021 - 12:04 AM

'Michigan GOP Chair Calls Governor a Witch, Jokes About Assassination

Michigan's Republican Party chair[...] "Our job is now to soften up those three witches [...], that they are ready for the burning at the stake." His comments referred to Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, [the] Attorney General [...], and [the] Secretary of State [...]. All three are Democrats[...] "Other than assassination, I have no other way other than voting them out, ok?" Whitmer's press secretary issued a blistering statement in response: "Given the dramatic increase in death threats against Michigan elected officials during the Trump administration, this type of rhetoric is destructive and downright dangerous. We saw this firsthand when Republican legislators met with the very militias that tried to kidnap and kill the governor."'

https://www.thedaily...ng-her?ref=home

'Biden's First Presser Shows Why He Waited So Long to Have One

[...] Biden joked that we should go back to the way it was "when I came to the United States Senate 120 years ago" and seemed to endorse the notion of reviving a talking filibuster, explaining that eventually "People got tired of talking and tired of collapsing." It is debatable whether this reform would make filibusters more rare (since Republicans would have to actually talk) or more common (since Republicans would get to eat up more of the Senate's time in the process, making it that much tougher for Biden to pass his agenda items).

[...] Biden seemed to be on the verge of making big news by telling us he wanted to blow up the filibuster. [...] he stressed he wanted to "get things done," and even warned us that he was going to say something "outrageous." He must have thought better of it, though, because he did not follow up with anything outrageous, settling, instead, on some vague, discursive comments about possibly having to go "beyond what I'm talking about," whatever that means. He also made some mistakes, including saying the filibuster was "being abused in a gigantic way" and then citing—as evidence—statistics from last year when Democrats were in the minority.

That's right, Biden's best argument for why we need to get rid of the filibuster rested on Democrats' efforts to stymie Trump's agenda.'

https://www.thedaily...ve-one?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 27 March 2021 - 12:05 AM

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#1346 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 27 March 2021 - 03:05 PM

'Montana Senator Appears to Pine for Days of "Homegrown" Meth

[...] seeming to wax poetic about days of yore when Americans made their own methamphetamine. [...] "There is a flood of Mexican meth, Mexican heroin, Mexican fentanyl. Twenty years ago in Montana, meth was homemade. It was homegrown. And you had purity levels less than 30 percent. Today the meth that is getting into Montana is Mexican cartel." Daines argued the drugs that arrive in his state are a product of illegal immigration, later tweeting "We must end the #BidenBorderCrisis now."

https://www.thedaily...n-meth?ref=home

'Devin Nunes' Mom F*cked Up His Campaign Finance Reports

MOM!!!

Two political committees belonging to Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) have spent the past two days filing amended FEC reports to correct errors and omissions by their treasurer: his mom.

The fundraising committees—Nunes Victory Fund, and his leadership PAC, NEW PAC—have also removed Nunes' mother's email address and replaced them with an unspecified "Treasurer 1" and "Treasurer 2."

[...] the notoriously litigious Nunes cited his mom in a $77.5 million civil suit [...] against Esquire and journalist Ryan Lizza, claiming that Lizza defamed him in an article suggesting his family tried to cover up the use of undocumented immigrant labor at their family dairy farm [...] The complaint cites Lizza's claim that Nunes' mom had followed the journalist in a car during his investigative work.

The judge tossed the lawsuit [...]

Nunes also cited his mom in a separate [...] defamation suit [...] seek[ing] $250 million in damages from several parties, including an anonymous parody Twitter account, @DevinNunesMom. The complaint describes "Devin Nunes' Mom" as "a person who, with Twitter's consent, hijacked Nunes' name, falsely impersonated Nunes' mother, and created and maintained an account on Twitter (@DevinNunesMom) for the sole purpose of attacking, defaming, disparaging and demeaning Nunes."

"In her endless barrage of tweets, Devin Nunes' Mom maliciously attacked every aspect of Nunes' character, honesty, integrity, ethics and fitness to perform his duties as a United States Congressman," the suit claims. Tweets cited in the lawsuit accuse Nunes of sedition, calling him a "treasonous shitbag" and a "treasonous Putin shill," and claim that he was an agent for "the Kremlin."

The suit is active, with a hearing slated for July that will take up the question of whether the claims are valid.'

https://www.thedaily...orts?ref=scroll


'Tucker Carlson Claims Military Is Too "Woke" to Save Stuck Suez Canal Ship

[...] the chaos caused by the Ever Given, the gigantic container ship blown sideways in the Suez Canal. The gargantuan boat, as long as the Empire State Building, has blocked one of the world's busiest and most vital shipping lanes. Carlson said, "If you're wondering whether our military leadership has gone 'woke,' you can consider that question settled for good. The Pentagon is now the Yale faculty lounge, but with cruise missiles, and that should concern you… [The closure of the canal] is a challenge to America's critical national interest. How is the Pentagon responding to that? [...] the new Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin, the defense contractor now running the military. Lloyd Austin believes the real threat to America is not the Chinese government or paralyzed global trade—the real threat to this country is people who didn't vote for Joe Biden." Carlson also floated the idea that the Ever Given may have been intentionally grounded: "Was it an accident? Maybe, maybe not."'

https://www.thedaily...l-ship?ref=home

'Is Joe Biden Our Last Irish President?

[...] "My grandfather, Ambrose Finnegan, who was a great football player—American football— and a newspaperman, back at the turn of the 20th century, used to always say when—later, when he was much older, and I'd walk out of his home, he'd say, "Joey, remember: The best drop of blood in you is Irish." (Laughs.) I remembered it, I promise you. And—because if I didn't, my grandmother, Geraldine Blewitt Finnegan, would take me down."

He added that his Aunt Gertie "was the best back-scratcher in the world," and that "no offense to the Greeks, but she made the best rice pudding in the world."

[...] Biden's genealogical background is not entirely Irish, and his performative emphasis on that part of it could be seen as a savvy political choice[...] (An indicative semi-authentic moment: Posting a video of himself at the White House listening to a bagpiper, the bagpipe per se being Scottish, but also being what the Irish American–friendly New York Police Department plays[...]

The vice president strode into a local restaurant here with a message for the Greek-Americans enjoying their lunch: "I'm Joe Bidenopoulos."

"Ask George," he told some men gathered around a table [...]. It was unclear who George was, maybe someone at the table, but it was clear that the vice president was talking about himself when he said something about "the most Greek Irishman he's ever known."

[...] he is old enough to have grown up during an era when Democrats had not yet been scared off of Franklin Delano Roosevelt's brand of fiscally generous liberalism. [...] His white ethnic identity politicking is a throwback to a different aspect of that personally formative era, in which being a man of the people meant being able to draw affectionate distinctions among (certain of) the peoples, be they the Irish, the Poles, or the Greeks—all funny in their own ways, but also honorable. [...] at some point we might have a news cycle—potentially the United States' last—about an off-color joke the president told about Italians.'

https://slate.com/ne...-president.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 27 March 2021 - 03:05 PM

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#1347 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 28 March 2021 - 02:28 PM

View PostMalankazooie, on 23 March 2021 - 01:50 PM, said:

Have you guys heard the news? Trumpitter coming soon. I'm going to do my darnedest to be in the first 100 accounts to sign up. *fingers-crossed. Do you have any advice?

<snipped media from orig post>

Trump May Start a Social Network. Here's My Advice.


*link is to www.nytimes.com

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#1348 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 March 2021 - 03:53 PM

View PostMalankazooie, on 28 March 2021 - 02:28 PM, said:

View PostMalankazooie, on 23 March 2021 - 01:50 PM, said:

Have you guys heard the news? Trumpitter coming soon. I'm going to do my darnedest to be in the first 100 accounts to sign up. *fingers-crossed. Do you have any advice?

<snipped media from orig post>

Trump May Start a Social Network. Here's My Advice.


*link is to www.nytimes.com



Highlights from beyond the pay-wall:

'[...] Tech is hard stuff, and new ventures should be attempted with extreme care, especially by those whose history of entrepreneurship is littered with the carcasses of, say, Trump Steaks.

Or Trump Water. Or Trump University. Or Trump magazine. Or Trump Casinos. Or Trump Mortgages. Or Trump Airlines. Or Trump Vodka. Or the Trump pandemic response. Or, of course, the 2020 Trump presidential campaign.

[...] use one of Silicon Valley’s favorite excuses for its mistakes, that old Thomas Edison trope: You didn’t fail, but found 10,000 ways that didn’t work. Even if “fail” and “don’t work” are the same thing, in tech these are seen as a badge of honor rather than as a sign that you are terrible at executing a business plan and engage in only meaningless optics.

[...]

Edison also said that “genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.” I might rephrase that for your entry into tech by saying, genius is 1 percent instigation and 99 percent perfidy.

Instigation and perfidy, in fact, make the perfect formula for a modern-day social network, so you are already well on your way, given your skill set. [...]

[...] the name. It’s critical — and I am not sure how to approach it.

Avoid MeinSpace and InstaGraft, for obvious reasons. The narcissist in you might go for The_Donald, which you might now be able to use, since Reddit banned the 800,000-member forum with that name for violating its rules against harassment, hate speech, content manipulation and more. (Sounds like just the kind of folks you like and who like you.)

Personally, if you go this direction, I would use your name in a more creative way. My suggestion: Trumpet.

Trumpets are brash and loud, and they’re often badly played and tinny. Right on brand, I’d say.'
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#1349 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 March 2021 - 09:08 PM

'Two years ago, Saturday Night Live added Bowen Yang as its first ever cast member of East Asian descent. [...]



As those words appeared below him on the screen, Yang asked, "Is that my official title, Asian Cast Member?" When Jost reminded him that that's the introduction he requested, Yang joked, "Yeah, I set your ass up, it feels good."

"So things for Asians in this country have been really bleak for the past two weeks… and all the weeks before that since forever,[...] But there's a lot of work to do and I found some posts online with action items that everyone can take to help." [...] "Six Ways to Check in on Your AAPI Friends and Tell Them They're So Hot" [...] "Call your senators and demand that they know about the lesbian characters in Sailor Moon!"

"What can I say to help how insanely bad things are? If someone's personality is 'punch an Asian grandma,' it's not a dialogue. I have an Asian grandma, you want to punch her. There ain't no common ground, Mama."

[...] If you're ordering from Chinese restaurants, he said, "let me know when you feed your white kids chicken feet."

"You cried during Minari? [...] Congrats. I was sobbing into my boner for Steven Yeun. Do more. And why are you telling me that you tipped your manicurist well? Let me know when you get on your knees and scrub your feet while she looks at your phone. Do more!"

[...] "I'm just a comedian. I don't have the answers. But I'm not just looking for them online, I'm looking around me. The GoFundMe for Xiao Zhen Xie, the grandmother who [was randomly punched in the face, then chased after her attacker and beat him so badly he had to be hospitalized], raised $900,000, which she immediately gave back to the community. That's where we are as Asians, now come meet us there."

"[...] It’s the year of the metal ox, which basically means a car. So everyone, get in, buckle up, it’s no pee breaks. We ride at dawn, grandmas!”'

https://www.thedaily...racism?ref=home

Posted Image


This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 28 March 2021 - 09:13 PM

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#1350 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 29 March 2021 - 01:24 PM

Good on her for battering the fruitloop with her stick.

And fuck Donald trump and anyone else who calls it the China virus or Kung flu. Fuck every single one of them
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#1351 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 29 March 2021 - 03:08 PM

If the purpose of calling it China virus was meant to actually make China own up to their part in the pandemic I'd actually be all for it. The fact that they hid the whole picture of the spread and now are trying to revise history to say it never came from China - All that means it really should be associated with their name. Doesn't mean American citizens should be the target of hate crimes though but racists will find a reason
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#1352 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 29 March 2021 - 07:55 PM

the purpose of calling it the china virus was to spread hate and fear.
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#1353 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 29 March 2021 - 08:07 PM

It's impossible to know what goes on in the former pumpkin presidents head but I legitimately think the name China Virus had nothing to do with racism and everything to do with the US China trade war. And of course deflecting blame.

I don't think Trump has ever been motivated to act out against minorities politically except when it would help his polling numbers. Or of course when ever he felt slighted. Everything is a transaction with him more so than the would be brown shirts of his staff.

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 29 March 2021 - 08:38 PM

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#1354 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 30 March 2021 - 04:22 AM

That's definitely a huge -- and essential -- element to whatever makes him tick and I can see why someone who hasn't had him as a constant in their zeitgeist for decades would see it crowding out everything else. One could categorize his relationship with the limelight an obsession, for sure, and for a long time that meant (at least publicly) a seemingly wholly agnostic drive to schmooze with anyone who held clout. More recently, he's also been naturally inclined to admire authoritarians around the globe, including across 'racial' lines, like Duterte and Kim Jong-Un obviously. And there's no dearth of political convenience to any of this rhetoric regarding China, especially in the GOP, but ultimately the racialized threat is the same whether it's coming from a sociopath or a true believer, and it really can't be divorced from any goings-on in American politics or society. Trump didn't invent it, and he seemingly tapped into America's racist aorta by surprise even to him in 2015-16, but he's more than happy to ride that rush for the rest of his life.

And that's because when it comes to opportunism vs. belief, Trump is in the "Why not both?" camp. He has always had a nasty eugenicist streak (exacerbated, in its own warped racist way, by his germophobia) and it's only gotten worse with time. I wouldn't count out his social circles either, whether the country club circuit or more overt organized crime, where casual naked bigotry is more than tolerated, it's essential. It's also impossible to overstate the expansion and influence of the white grievance industry the past couple decades, particularly through talk radio, Fox News, and the evangelical church-industrial complex, and how that has devastated so much of my country's moral compass -- particularly in but not exclusive to Trump's generation. And it's been thrumming like a giant tuning fork since since Obama got elected. And with Obama, Trump found a focal point to combine his opportunism, personal grudge, latent racism, and more overt racism, all of which are fundamental to how he operates.

Lastly (at least if we skip over Fred Trump), one cannot overstate the influence of Roger Stone in shaping Trump the political figure. He has a similarly transactional nature as Trump and may not actually be a 'true believer' in anything beyond himself, but he is both a behind the scenes GOP fixture and has had at least one foot in the (very real, very serious, very violent) white nationalist movement for decades in service of that role. Whether he's personally agnostic about racial hierarchy, in his heart of hearts, doesn't particularly matter, but I highly doubt it. I mean, there's lots of ways to get rich. There's lots of ways to gain power, to hold power, to exert power. The ways these guys chose was to give Jeff Sessions, Steve Bannon, and Stephen Miller the run of the country. You don't gotta be Professor X to understand why.

They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#1355 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 30 March 2021 - 05:41 AM

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying Trump isn't likely a complete racist. Like you wrote, his generation, his social circle, it's no surprise given the stories told about him. But when it came to his politics, the big stuff, not the evil stuff going on out of sight - It always seems to revolve around power and profit. The appearance of strength and success.

In the case of Covid19 - We're not failing, we were failed by China. And China should pay us for it.
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#1356 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 30 March 2021 - 06:31 AM

That's one of the dumbest things about this whole phenomenon. The core concept of "The Swamp" -- basically a rebranding of evergreen cynicism towards politicians (not necessarily unearned) -- is that they're so transactional. Quid pro quo, self-dealers, etc. It's as big an archetype as you're gonna get. But it's also DJT's defining feature, as you say. "Trump is the antidote to the corruption ruining our country" vs. "Trump will benefit the country through trickle down corruption" is a real dirty diaper of cognitive dissonance.
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#1357 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 30 March 2021 - 04:26 PM

Misread '"Bidet" vs. "Toilet"' as '"Biden" vs. "Tr---oh wait"'....

'Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) continues making headlines for all the wrong reasons.

[...] Greene was expelled from her committees after resurfaced social media posts revealed she expressed support for the execution of her now-colleagues and for deranged conspiracy theories that former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton murders children and drinks their blood, [etc. etc. ...]

Greene, who rages against the wearing of masks and rejects virtually every safety measure recommended by health experts, leapt to decry the idea of a vaccine passport on Twitter.

"[...] They might as well call it Biden’s Mark of the Beast."

[...]

The pandemic has already prompted conspiracy theorists to speculate about a "mark of the beast," and it seems to be the latest conspiracy theory Greene is tacitly promoting.'

https://secondnexus....eene-mark-beast

'Dan Rodimer, the pro wrestler turned wannabe Republican lawmaker, has hit out at claims that he’s putting on a fake Texan accent and dressing up as a cowboy in a pathetic attempt to impress local voters. Rodimer stood as a congressional candidate in Nevada last year [...] now he’s standing as a candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives in Texas, he’s gone full Yosemite Sam. Opponents say he’s suddenly putting on an exaggerated drawl, as well as wearing cowboy-hats and riding bulls in campaign videos. [...] he admitted [...] his campaign used a body double for parts of a bull ride segment of his latest campaign ad. Florida Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz previously criticized Rodimer as “all hat, no cattle.”'

https://www.thedaily...voters?ref=home
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#1358 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 31 March 2021 - 10:17 PM

Liberals' New Vaccine Trick: Driving Deep Into Trump Country

*link is to www.thedailybeast.com

Quote

So I just googled "Trump landslides in Ohio", then I looked at the nearest county and the biggest city in that county, and I found an appointment, Salzano told The Daily Beast.


Posted Image


Do I get extra points for inserting that much used and popular meme?
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#1359 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 April 2021 - 04:50 PM

'Then-Attorney General Bill Barr went to great lengths to avoid being seen near Rep. Matt Gaetz after he was alerted to the federal probe into the Florida Republican's alleged sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl[...] Barr is said to have gotten several briefings about the investigation, at least partly to ensure that the then-attorney general didn't inadvertently find himself standing next to Gaetz at any public events [...] The Justice Department went so far as to cancel a planned appearance by Barr at a meet-and-greet with House Republicans after it was learned that Gaetz would be in attendance.'

https://www.thedaily...t-says?ref=home

'Cuomo Humbly Admitted "I Am Not a Superhero"

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo reportedly portrayed himself as the saviour of the state in an early draft of his book about the pandemic[...] "[...] I have accomplished by any objective standard more than any governor in modern history. But I am not a superhero." [...] the drafting and pitching of the book overlapped with the move by his aides to to alter a public report on COVID-19 nursing home deaths so that the fatality numbers appeared far lower than they were.'

https://www.thedaily...report?ref=home

'I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Biden Administration
ANONYMOUS

I work for the president but like-minded colleagues and I have vowed to bite members of his Secret Service detail and poop on his floors.
Posted Image
'

https://slate.com/cu...understood.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 01 April 2021 - 04:50 PM

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#1360 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 April 2021 - 06:13 PM

Posted Image

'Marjorie Taylor Greene calls AOC a "little girl" during climate denial rant at town hall

[...] "How much taxes and how much money did the people back in the Ice Age spend to warm up the earth?" the GOP freshman congresswoman asked at a town hall this week.

"Maybe perhaps we live on a ball that rotates around the sun, that flies through the universe, and maybe our climate just changes." [...]

"So we've got to stop using oil, and coal, right? Because that makes a lot of sense to a little girl named AOC from New York."'

https://news.yahoo.c..._trk=fb&tsrc=fb

'Kristi Noem Is 'Shocked' by Infrastructure Funding Going to "Housing and Pipes"

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem, a rising Republican star and potential 2024 presidential candidate, appeared flummoxed [...] that much of the spending in the Biden administration's proposed infrastructure bill goes to, well, infrastructure.

"I was on a call with the White House today with all of the governors talking about the specifics of this package and I was shocked by how much doesn't go into infrastructure," Noem declared on Fox News' Hannity. "It goes into research and development. It goes into housing and pipes and different initiatives, green energy."'

https://www.thedaily...-pipes?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 01 April 2021 - 06:13 PM

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