Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1061 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 03 November 2020 - 02:17 PM

'Trump's Closing Pitch to Voters: COVID Deaths? Who Cares. Celebs Are Mean to Me.
[...] his final 24 hours on the stump zeroed in on the real villains: pop stars.'

https://www.thedaily...a-bias?ref=home

'Trump Mistakenly Announces Star Rally Guest Lil Pump as "Little Pimp"

[...] Trump had one last trick left up his sleeve—a big celebrity guest. The only problem is that Trump seemed to have absolutely no idea who it was. At a Monday night rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan, the president hyped up the crowd by announcing that "one of the big superstars of the world" was among them. Trump then mistakenly announced his celebrity guest, the rapper Lil Pump, as "Little Pimp." After quickly correcting himself, Trump then asked his supporters: "Does everyone know who he is?"'

https://www.thedaily...e-pimp?ref=home

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This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 03 November 2020 - 02:19 PM

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#1062 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 03 November 2020 - 05:53 PM

'Candace Owens is one of President Donald Trump's most loyal allies, particularly in her efforts to increase Trump's support among Black Americans.

Owens is highly critical of the Black Lives Matter movement, LGBTQ rights, and pro-choice policies.

On Monday night, she continued her advocacy for Trump on far-right Fox News host Tucker Carlson's show[...]

Owens: "You are either on the side of mob rule or you are on the side of law and order. And I am on the side of mob rule. Tomorrow, I'll be casting my ballot for Donald J. Trump."

Tucker: "Amen. Nicely put."'

https://secondnexus....xn4Zds9i6sEBEQQ

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 03 November 2020 - 05:53 PM

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#1063 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 03 November 2020 - 11:53 PM

Today Trump tweeted this video compilation of him dancing to the Village People's 'YMCA' at his rallies:



'[...] Let's start with the song itself, which Trump has been using extensively this campaign season at his rallies.

"YMCA" is, of course, a novelty disco hit by The Village People, a group of gay men dressed as a leather daddy, a cowboy, and so on, from their 1978 album "Cruisin'," which is a gay slang term for going out to find a dude to have sex with. And its lyrics are about just that: chasing the blues away by having sex with dudes at the YMCA.

[...]

Not exactly on-brand for a presidential campaign of any kind, let alone a president who, say, banned transgender people from the military and rolled back workplace discrimination protections for LGBTQ people.

And one can't help but wonder why a sitting president would choose a video of himself not so much dancing as twitching and, like, punching the air? In a way that could at times be construed as sexual? While glowering?

To a song, we remind you, that is about gay sex at a YMCA?'

https://www.comicsan...D1SmvCrkBD816MI

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 03 November 2020 - 11:53 PM

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#1064 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 04 November 2020 - 06:18 PM

'Trump falsely claims that votes for Biden are "magically" appearing. Actually it's just called counting, and you can see if for yourself.'

https://fb.watch/1yGwGXe2U1/
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#1065 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 04 November 2020 - 06:39 PM

When I left for work it looked like a shit show with the slimmest of chances Biden could win. Now I came home and things look a lot brighter. I guess in the end we're going to be waiting for a month or more.
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#1066 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 04 November 2020 - 08:28 PM

I think well all need to take a quiet moment and give ourselves a reassuring hug during these uncertain times.

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#1067 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 04 November 2020 - 08:31 PM

'Russian state media was thrilled over the undecided election, telling viewers to "get the popcorn ready" and hoping for American civil unrest.

[...] "This outcome of the elections is the worst scenario for America," Nikonov concluded. He mockingly urged the Russians to buy lots of popcorn, due to the "uncompromising divide in the well-armed American society." Russian state television started to announce upcoming TV movies by describing them as "the greatest show on earth, not counting U.S. elections." Appearing on the Russian state media TV show 60 Minutes, Alexei Naumov from the Russian International Affairs Council said about the American presidential elections: "The greatest political thriller of the year is upon us. Watch and enjoy. Nothing like this will ever happen again."

Russian state media has long predicted civil war and mayhem in post-election America. In the run-up to the presidential elections in the United States, the host of 60 Minutes Evgeny Popov repeatedly asked pundits and experts: "Will there be blood?" Igor Morozov, member of Russia's Federation Council, replied: "Yes, there will be blood. There is no way there wouldn't be." Talking about the anticipated post-election violence between armed supporters of both candidates, Russian lawmaker Aleksei Zhuravlyov told 60 Minutes: "What's not to like? It's excellent, if you ask me… I love it!"'

[...] "We're hoping that while they're dealing with their own problems, they'll have no time to impose any more Russian sanctions."

[...] "We're certainly not indifferent as to who wins, because if Trump is re-elected, the same politics of chaos in America will continue."

[...] "We're for the Russian spy." Kalashnikov concurred: "When something is good for you, don't search for something better. Let our guy, Trump, stay. We know and understand him well."'

https://www.thedaily...otes?ref=scroll

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 04 November 2020 - 08:32 PM

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#1068 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 04 November 2020 - 09:16 PM

'"Absurd!": How Chinese State-Run Media Covered the US Elections

[...] Trump was often referred to as the “know-it-all” while Biden, though less common, was dubbed the “political evergreen tree.”

[...] ran a seven-part series on their website entitled “seven things the US has done to threaten global safety,” spotlighting subjects like arms races, global carbon emissions, and excessive sanctioning.

[...] “Absurd! The president jumps the gun before the election results are out!” and reported that the Prime Minister of Slovenia had also called Trump’s victory prematurely.

[...] “Following the Chinese media gives off the impression that not only is the election a brainless joke, so is the United States,” said a University student from Beijing, about his experience following Chinese news on the election. He wished to remain anonymous out of fear of reprisal from his university and the government.

“It’s like the election is revealing the fall of the United States. They depict American politics as a gambling game,” [...] “That though people have the right to vote, it won’t change anything… In China, the American system is just seen as ineffective and chaotic, always making things complicated and impossible to solve.”

[...] They want to show the Chinese people “how things go wrong if everyone has the right to vote.” The trend that Chinese state media increasingly depict Western countries as “failing rather than as succeeding,” or “suffering rather than enjoying,” [...]

[...] “With democracy, you get people like Trump, you don’t want that”'

https://www.vice.com...he-us-elections
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#1069 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 05 November 2020 - 01:55 AM

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#1070 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 05 November 2020 - 05:15 AM


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#1071 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 05 November 2020 - 05:24 AM

'Pro-Trump "Count the Vote" Protesters in Arizona Chant "Fox News Sucks"

[...] Several hundred demonstrators gathered on Wednesday evening to chant "Count the vote" outside the building where Maricopa County officials were, in fact, counting the vote."

"Attendees also demanded answers about the fake controversy dubbed "Sharpie Gate"—in which Trump voters claim they, were duped into invalidating their own ballots with felt-tipped pens, despite the state reiterating that such ink can be read by vote-counting machines'

https://www.thedaily...-fox-news-sucks

'At the campaign's news conference Wednesday, Trump surrogate Pam Bondi, the former attorney general of Florida, also alleged GOP monitors had also been subjected to intimidation — a claim she based on waist-high metal barriers observers were required to stand behind and a "huge badge" she said a deputy in the City Commissioner's Office was wearing when he interacted with them.'

https://www.inquirer...n-20201104.html

'Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

How come every time they count Mail-In ballot dumps they are so devastating in their percentage and power of destruction?'

https://twitter.com/...007806694023169

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 05 November 2020 - 05:25 AM

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#1072 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 05 November 2020 - 06:24 PM

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Send in Trump's poll watchers to make sure the count is fair.
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Got a kick out of this, so eff it, gunna post it.
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#1073 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 06 November 2020 - 12:38 AM

'On his podcast Thursday, former Trump aide Steve Bannon, who somehow thinks Donald Trump has won the election, said that a second term shouldn't just start with firing FBI Director Chris Wray and top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci on national TV. According to him, it should involve beheadings. "I'd actually like to go back to the old times of Tudor England. I'd put the heads on pikes, right, I'd put them at the two corners of the White House as a warning to federal bureaucrats," he said. "You either get with the program or you're gone. Time to stop playing games. Blow it all up, put Ric Grenell today as the interim head of the FBI, that'll light them up, right?"

When co-host Jack Maxey noted that traitors used to be hanged, Bannon replied, "That's how you won the revolution. No one wants to talk about it. The revolution wasn't some sort of garden party, right? It was a civil war."'

https://www.thedaily...odcast?ref=home





'Trump adviser says the "math isn't on our side. We need an act of God to alter the course"'

https://www.cnn.com/...c5493d3944a9e0f

'White House spiritual adviser Paula White has gone viral with her emphatic prayer for the victory of President Donald Trump over former Vice President Joe Biden'

https://www.mediaite...ayer-slam-poem/




'an abundance of rain' maybe she means golden showers?...

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 06 November 2020 - 12:39 AM

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#1074 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 06 November 2020 - 09:41 AM

Of course! It's so logical why they need to stop the count.

https://www.theshove...ew-chart-shows/

Trump Would Win Easily If Only Republican Votes Counted, New Chart Shows

A new analysis by some guy on Twitter has found that Donald Trump would have been re-elected with an overwhelming majority if none of the votes for Joe Biden had been counted.

Using the hashtag #STOPTHECOUNT, the man said there was definitely something fishy going on. “Don’t you think it’s a little bit strange that as soon as you start including Democrat votes the election becomes close. But yet when you only include Republican votes it’s a Donald Trump landslide? That’s the story you’re not hearing from the mainstream media.

“You see the same thing over and over again in every state and every county. If you include only the legitimate votes – the ones from Republican voters – Trump wins easily. But yet what we’re being shown on CNN and the New York Times is different. This is voter fraud, clear and simple”.

He said he had factored in the different voting patterns of Democrats v Republican voters. “Even when you include and then discount mail-in votes from Democrat voters – it’s still a clear victory for Trump”.

He said the evidence was irrefutable. “You can see it right there in my chart. The facts that I make up don’t lie”.

--------------------------

and in other news:

American Protesters Take To The Streets To Demand Less Democracy

https://www.theshove...less-democracy/

“It’s Best Of Three!” Hysterical Donald Trump Tells Biden

https://www.theshove...mp-tells-biden/

Trump Says There Would Be Less Voter Fraud If America Got Rid Of Elections

https://www.theshove...d-of-elections/

119% Of Polls Predicted US Election Would Be This Close, New Poll Finds

https://www.theshove...would-be-close/

Only 1% Of Americans Think Voter Suppression Is An Issue, Republican-Run Poll Requiring 3 Forms Of Identification Finds

https://www.theshove...lican-run-poll/

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 06 November 2020 - 09:46 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1075 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 06 November 2020 - 10:03 AM

Already an Eminem remix!


"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#1076 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 November 2020 - 02:05 PM

For my homies in Philadelphia

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Had to include this one. He's getting a lot of bounce, and this throwback beaut has brought me joy.

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#1077 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 November 2020 - 07:37 PM

It's extra saucy seeing this tweeted by Jim Acosta. Trump has been an asshole to the press over the last four years, but he's been a super prick/shithead to Jim Acosta. Acosta has to have derived extra satisfaction from this.

twitter.com/Acosta/status/1324782310160535553


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#1078 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 November 2020 - 09:36 PM

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#1079 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 07 November 2020 - 04:43 AM

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Seeing this tweet by Dan Rather makes him my hero for the night. *chef's-kiss

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#1080 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 07 November 2020 - 08:39 AM

Oh Snoop, I think you win the Internet today:

:rofl:

https://www.instagra.../p/CHPjnfrnTAy/

More celeb reactions. Nice one from Zoe Kravitz at the end.

https://www.news.com...1f2a0ae6e71431a

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 07 November 2020 - 08:58 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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