Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring Donald J. Trump & Co. - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring Donald J. Trump & Co. Laugh while you cry

#821 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 22 May 2020 - 10:04 PM

Trump Insists He'll Open Up Churches, Has No Power to Do So
'RIGHT NOW!'
"If they don't open this weekend, I will override the governors," the president said Friday.

Trump tried to stoke an ugly battle with governors over religion on Friday, demanding that every house of worship in the country reopen "right now" regardless of state rules. "Some governors have deemed liquor stores and abortion clinics as essential but have left out churches and other houses of worship," he said in a blustery, two-minute press briefing. "It's not right... In America we need more prayer not less."'

'Biden Tells Black Radio Host Charlamagne tha God That He "Ain't Black" if He Doesn't Know if He Supports Trump

[...] told a black radio personality that he "ain't black" if he's struggling to decide whether to back him or President Trump in this year's presidential election. Biden made his cringeworthy comment on The Breakfast Club episode that was posted on YouTube Friday morning. Co-host Charlamagne tha God took Biden to task over his record on racial issues and whether or not he'd pick a black female running mate. Toward the end of the show, Charlamagne said: "Listen, you've got to come see us when you come to New York.... It's a long way until November. We've got more questions." Biden replied: "You've got more questions? Well, I tell you what, if you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black."'

https://www.thedaily...=cheats&via=rss

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[actually the plural you]

'Later on Friday afternoon, Biden addressed his comments in a call with the US Black Chamber of Commerce [...] "I shouldn't have been such a wise guy. I shouldn't have been so cavalier."

[...] In November, he told a protester criticizing former President Barack Obama's record on deportations that "you should vote for Trump."

[...] a Trump campaign senior adviser, said in a statement that Biden "believes black men and women are incapable of being independent or free thinking."

[...] Biden also defended his calls to decriminalize marijuana, rather than legalizing it. He said before legalizing it, he wants to wait and see the results of studies on "what it affects, doesn't affect in long-term development of the brain. And we should wait till the studies are done."

"I think we got decades of studies from actual weed smokers though," Charlamagne cut in.

"Yeah, I do," Biden said. "I know a lot of weed smokers."'

https://www.cnn.com/...lack/index.html

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 22 May 2020 - 10:04 PM

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#822 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 23 May 2020 - 02:38 AM

'Trump's routing number revealed as press secretary announces he's donating quarterly salary to HHS

[...] The New York Times noted Friday night that as McEnany displayed the president's check to HHS at the briefing, she appeared to hold up the real thing and revealed Trump's private Capital One bank account and routing numbers.

[...] Officials did not respond to a request for comment by the Times, but the paper was told by an administration official that fake checks have not been used at the briefing in the past.'

https://thehill.com/...rYOWYVeEl2iGjU0


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#823 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 24 May 2020 - 10:36 AM

Attached File  7108051-1.png (498.36K)
Number of downloads: 0
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#824 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 02:43 AM

'West Virginia postal carrier Thomas Cooper has been charged with attempted election fraud after he allegedly altered the party affiliation sections of eight absentee ballot request forms before delivering them [...]

Federal prosecutors said Tuesday that Cooper is accused of using a black ink pen to change the party affiliation status from Democrat to Republican on five of the applications. On the other three forms, he used the pen to circle the word "Republican."

[...] According to the federal affidavit, Cooper admitted to Cogar and a postal inspector that he did alter the mail-in request forms saying it was meant "as a joke." The state attorney general's office didn't find it so funny.

"Manipulating one's absentee ballot or application is not a laughing matter – it's a federal offense," Attorney General Patrick Morrisey said, according to the Miami Herald. "We must protect the integrity of the ballot box, and this demonstrates the aggressive action we will take to do so."'

https://www.theroot....lsbfNcWsNewATHk

'Trump threatens to "close down" social media [...]

Trump on Wednesday threatened to close down social media platforms after Twitter labelled two of his tweets "unsubstantiated" and accused him of making false claims.

Twitter targeted tweets in which the president said that mail-in voting would lead to fraud and a "Rigged Election" in November.

Under the tweets, Twitter posted a link which read "Get the facts about mail-in ballots" -- a first for the social network which has long resisted calls to censure the president.

In response, Trump fought back, tweeting that "Republicans feel that Social Media Platforms totally silence conservatives voices. We will strongly regulate, or close them down, before we can ever allow this to happen."

Trump repeated his allegations, saying "we can't let large scale Mail-In Ballots take root in our Country. It would be a free for all on cheating, forgery and the theft of Ballots.

"Whoever cheated the most would win. Likewise, Social Media. Clean up your act, NOW!!!!" he added.

The president also accused social media platforms of interfering in the last election, saying "we saw what they attempted to do, and failed, in 2016."'

https://www.ctvnews....Cpojqnw7G7o1QV8

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 28 May 2020 - 02:44 AM

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#825 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 02:48 AM


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#826 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 05:59 AM


"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#827 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 07:57 PM

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#828 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 08:35 PM

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'Man loses office lease after viral video shows him calling police on black entrepreneurs using building's gym

[...] "I said, 'I'm sorry you thought I was being racist, but I was not. If you were a bunch of women, I would have done the same thing,'" Austin told the Tribune.'

https://thehill.com/...sScrWaRRo4Uy2xM

'an ally of Donald Trump said the president was furious about the coronavirus. "He was saying, 'This is so unfair to me! Everything was going great. We were cruising to reelection!'"'

https://www.thedaily...hances?ref=home

'Trump is set to announce an executive order against social media companies on Thursday

[...] The draft order, which was reviewed by CNN, targets a law known as the Communications Decency Act.

[...] It argues that the protections hinge mainly on tech platforms operating in "good faith," and that social media companies have not.

[...] The draft order also accuses social media platforms of "invoking inconsistent, irrational, and groundless justifications to censor or otherwise punish Americans' speech here at home."'

https://www.cnn.com/...rder/index.html

'Trump is throwing a tantrum in the form of an executive order that declares Twitter and Facebook are the "functional equivalent of a traditional public forum" and should "not infringe on protected speech." The president seems to have bypassed the typical interagency review process in issuing his new rule. This means the insanely overreaching order (read the leaked draft here) wasn't written with an eye toward conforming to federal law or constitutional protections of speech and commerce. And make no mistake: the draft order, when it manages to be coherent, is insanely unconstitutional.

[...] It's an Orwellian document, defining federal government regulation of Americans' speech as "free speech" and private questioning of government authority as "censorship." In Trump's formulation, private companies can censor the most powerful person in the country but not the other way around.

[...] after years of downplaying the idea that foreign actors used social media in an attempt to influence the 2016 election, Trump now opportunistically claims that the U.S. government must have power over these platforms to stop the scourge of "disinformation from foreign governments."'

[...] Trump wants the FCC to determine the conditions under which content moderation will be considered "deceptive, pretextual, or inconsistent with a provider's terms of service"'

https://reason.com/2...s-a-total-mess/

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 28 May 2020 - 08:36 PM

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#829 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 28 May 2020 - 10:31 PM

What a whiny pathetic piece of human garbage he is...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#830 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 29 May 2020 - 07:18 PM

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#831 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 04:36 AM

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#832 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 03:44 PM

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#833 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 03:53 PM

Epic Sax Guy is the hero we need right now.
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#834 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 04:55 PM

'Trump, agitated and distressed[, ...] told the nation's governors in a video teleconference Monday to aggressively target violent protesters he said would only respond to a show of force.

"You have to dominate or you'll look like a bunch of jerks"'

[...] "It's a movement, if you don't put it down it will get worse and worse," Trump said. "The only time its successful is when you're weak and most of you are weak."

[...] Trump said the "whole world was laughing at Minneapolis over the police station getting burned"

"Rhetoric coming out of the White House is making it worse, people are experiencing real pain," Pritzker, a Democrat, told the President. "We've got to have national leadership calling for calm and legitimate concern for protestors."

"I don't like your rhetoric that much either," Trump fired back. "You could have done much better on coronavirus."'

[...] "Two nights ago people would not have minded an occupying force," he said.'

https://www.cnn.com/...6uzV94mSc5N7k4Q

Trump tweeted:

'Sleepy Joe Biden's people are so Radical Left that they are working to get the Anarchists out of jail, and probably more. Joe doesn't know anything about it, he is clueless, but they will be the real power, not Joe. They will be calling the shots! Big tax increases for all, Plus!'

https://twitter.com/...445910826627078

'The Lamestream Media is doing everything within their power to foment hatred and anarchy. As long as everybody understands what they are doing, that they are FAKE NEWS and truly bad people with a sick agenda, we can easily work through them to GREATNESS!'

https://twitter.com/...132763116838913

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 01 June 2020 - 06:18 PM

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#835 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 05:24 PM

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#836 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 06:10 PM

Someone lock him in the asylum already
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#837 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 06:49 PM

And take his damn phone.
The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#838 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 01 June 2020 - 06:54 PM

It gets better because there's always a tweet:
https://twitter.com/...5974039552?s=20


This post has been edited by Aptorian: 01 June 2020 - 06:56 PM

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#839 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 02 June 2020 - 05:36 AM

FFS America...
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#840 User is offline   Khazduk 

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Posted 02 June 2020 - 12:14 PM

Yeah go home America ur drunk

:(

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