Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring Donald J. Trump & Co. - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring Donald J. Trump & Co. Laugh while you cry

#721 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 27 March 2020 - 05:42 AM

'Brazil's president Jair Bolsonaro has tried to reassure his citizens over the threat of coronavirus by claiming Brazilians can bathe in excrement "and nothing happens".

[...] "Not least because Brazilians need to be studied," the right-wing populist added.

"They never catch anything. You see some bloke jumping into the sewage, he gets out, has a dive, right? And nothing happens to him."

Facts do not support Bolsonaro's insinuation that Brazilians are somehow immune to dangerous infections.

On Thursday Brazil's health ministry said that its coronavirus death toll had risen to 77, up from 46 on Tuesday. So far 2,915 cases have been confirmed.
A report in the Folha de São Paulo, a leading Brazilian broadsheet, suggested there had been a "vertiginous" rise in the number of people being admitted to hospital with severe respiratory failure'

https://www.theguard...d-19-cases-rise

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 27 March 2020 - 05:42 AM

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#722 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 27 March 2020 - 05:31 PM

View PostAptorian, on 26 March 2020 - 05:06 AM, said:

Maybe Trump is actually a Deep State mole trying to kill America's evangelicals.


Fixed for accuracy.
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#723 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 March 2020 - 01:30 AM

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#724 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 March 2020 - 02:48 AM

'Republicans were aghast that one of their own had committed such a monstrously selfish act.

Rep. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.), in purely symbolic opposition to the $2.2 trillion emergency coronavirus legislation, forced hundreds of his colleagues to risk their lives — literally — by flying back to Washington. So what if many of the lawmakers are elderly and at high risk?

To thwart Massie's pointless protest, an attempt to force a roll-call vote instead of a simple voice vote, leaders had to summon 216 members to fill the chamber, eerily separated on the floor and in the gallery above to limit infection.

[...] Trump called Massie a "third rate Grandstander" and proposed to "throw Massie out of Republican Party!"

[...] "I came here to make sure our Republic doesn't die by unanimous consent in an empty chamber, and I request a recorded vote!" the bespectacled rebel said in his quickly-stifled stunt.

"Shut the f--- up," Rep. Ruben Gallego (D-Ariz.) replied from the gallery[...]

[...] Massie, a believer in the "deep state" conspiracy, is a product of the tea party, a protege of Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) [...] he has opposed even anti-lynching and human rights legislation — and celebrated when he uses "the process" so that "things die."

[...] Massie, unrepentant, left the Capitol complaining about "a big coverup." To Trump's attack, Massie replied: "I'm at least second-rate."'

https://www.washingt...bRMf6EwuhBf_I9w

''Trump has told people he wants Americans to see his signature on the stimulus checks that will be sent out after he signed a $2.2 trillion coronavirus relief package into law Friday, according to an administration official cited by The Wall Street Journal. Such checks would normally be signed by a disbursing officer, not the president. While signing the bill into law in the Oval Office on Friday, the president appeared to express awe at the price tag attached to the legislation, calling it a “great honor” and saying, “I never signed anything with a T on it.”''

https://www.thedaily...ks-wsj?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 28 March 2020 - 02:54 AM

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#725 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 29 March 2020 - 09:12 PM

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https://twitter.com/...309931874017280
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#726 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 31 March 2020 - 06:14 PM

'Trump Hands Coronavirus Briefing To MyPillow Exec Who Tells Americans To Read Bible

[...] Trump used Monday's White House daily briefing on coronavirus to again parade out private company executives — including MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, who used the platform to praise Trump and tell Americans amid a global pandemic to "read our Bibles."

[...] "God gave us grace on Nov. 8, 2016, to change the course we were on," Lindell said, referring to the day Trump was elected. "God had been taken out of our schools and lives. A nation had turned its back on God."

"And I encourage you to use this time at home to get back in the 'Word,' read our Bibles and spend time with our families," he added, touting "our great president" and "all the great people in this country praying daily" as key to getting through the pandemic.

After Lindell finished his remarks, he went to shake Trump's hand, but the president, observing a social distancing practice he had been ignoring earlier this month, did not reciprocate.'

https://www.yahoo.co...nity&soc_trk=fb

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 31 March 2020 - 06:14 PM

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#727 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 01 April 2020 - 12:18 AM


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#728 User is offline   Cause 

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Posted 01 April 2020 - 04:46 AM

Oh god! The choice is going to be between a turd and a turd with corn in it. Either way I donít want to eat it
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#729 User is offline   Briar King 

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Posted 01 April 2020 - 04:52 AM

Surely you meant cornpop.
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#730 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 01 April 2020 - 07:24 PM


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#731 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 04 April 2020 - 03:56 AM

'Trump joked about being "involved in" models during a coronavirus briefing at the White House on Friday.

"The models show hundreds of thousands of people are going to die and you know what I want to do? I want to come way under the model," he said. "The professionals did the models and I was never involved in a model. At least this kind of a model."

Vice President Pence, standing stoically behind the president, did not laugh.'

https://www.nydailyn...Llq0wasYOJeFRek



This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 04 April 2020 - 03:57 AM

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#732 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 April 2020 - 09:22 PM

Uh, this guy could be leader of the UK if Boris Johnson can't recover? Yikes! he looks like the British doppelganger of Jared Kushner *shutters dafuq is happening! Are we living in a simulation?

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#733 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 April 2020 - 09:37 PM

^^^^^
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#734 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 07 April 2020 - 02:07 AM

'Trump tweeted Monday that there is a "light at the end of the tunnel," following a series of grim warnings about this week's expected death toll '

Go towards the light....

Trump tweeted:

'We are learning much about the Invisible Enemy. It is tough and smart, but we are tougher and smarter!'

https://twitter.com/...7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

'Trump did not react well when he was challenged by Fox News reporter Kristen Fisher about the ongoing lag in results for COVID-19 tests at hospitals across the country. Letting out a deep sigh, the president said, “We’re the federal government, we are not supposed to be standing on street corners doing testing.”

“You should say, ‘Congratulations, great job’ instead of being so horrid in the way you ask a question,” the president told Fisher.'

https://www.thedaily...iefing?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 07 April 2020 - 02:11 AM

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#735 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 06:06 PM

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#736 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 08:15 PM

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#737 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 10:51 PM

'Well, it finally happened. A reporter in attendance for the daily Coronavirus Task Force briefing used his time to ask President Donald Trump if he would consider pardoning the Tiger King himself, Joseph Maldonado-Passage (a.k.a. Joe Exotic).

[...] knowing that First Son Donald Trump Jr. had drawn attention to Joe Exotic's case, asked Trump if he had any thoughts on pardoning Joe Exotic. Trump asked for particulars of Exotic's case before asking the reporter if he was recommending a pardon.

Trump then said, "I'll take a look."'

https://lawandcrime....for-joe-exotic/


'Congress Should Give Trump a $10 Billion Stimulus Payment to Resign

Here's Donald Trump, at Tuesday's White House press conference, saying he was going to put a hold on the money the U.S. pays to the World Health Organization.

And we're going to put a hold on money spent to the WHO. We're going to put a very powerful hold on it, and we're going to see.

Here's Trump later at that same press conference:

Q: Thanks. A quick follow-up on that. So is the time to freeze funding to the WHO during a pandemic of this magnitude?

THE PRESIDENT: No, maybe not. I mean, I'm not saying I'm going to do it, but we're going to look at it.

Q: You did say that you're going to —

THE PRESIDENT: We give a tremendous —

Q: You said you'd put a hold on it.

THE PRESIDENT: No, I didn't.

Great, great; good work by the president's brain, there.'

https://slate.com/ne...to-go-away.html

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This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 08 April 2020 - 10:53 PM

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#738 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:32 AM

So the USA has the most infected and if the numbers keep going like I'm seeing, the most deaths will happen as well. Number 1, is what Trump wants, right? Can someone put a bullet through his skull already? Even at the risk that nothing will happen because the bullet will miss the single cell organism pretending to be Trump's brain. This man is a danger to his entire country.
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#739 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 01:32 PM

View PostGarak, on 09 April 2020 - 10:32 AM, said:

This man is a danger to his entire country the entire world.


FTFY
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

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#740 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 05:15 PM

That Southern belle, who's often over come by the vapors (he do declare! *fans-self), thanked the front line workers dealing with coronavirus from his residence.

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