Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#701 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 07 April 2020 - 02:07 AM

'Trump tweeted Monday that there is a "light at the end of the tunnel," following a series of grim warnings about this week's expected death toll '

Go towards the light....

Trump tweeted:

'We are learning much about the Invisible Enemy. It is tough and smart, but we are tougher and smarter!'

https://twitter.com/...7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

'Trump did not react well when he was challenged by Fox News reporter Kristen Fisher about the ongoing lag in results for COVID-19 tests at hospitals across the country. Letting out a deep sigh, the president said, “We’re the federal government, we are not supposed to be standing on street corners doing testing.”

“You should say, ‘Congratulations, great job’ instead of being so horrid in the way you ask a question,” the president told Fisher.'

https://www.thedaily...iefing?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 07 April 2020 - 02:11 AM

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#702 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 06:06 PM

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#703 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 08:15 PM

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#704 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 08 April 2020 - 10:51 PM

'Well, it finally happened. A reporter in attendance for the daily Coronavirus Task Force briefing used his time to ask President Donald Trump if he would consider pardoning the Tiger King himself, Joseph Maldonado-Passage (a.k.a. Joe Exotic).

[...] knowing that First Son Donald Trump Jr. had drawn attention to Joe Exotic's case, asked Trump if he had any thoughts on pardoning Joe Exotic. Trump asked for particulars of Exotic's case before asking the reporter if he was recommending a pardon.

Trump then said, "I'll take a look."'

https://lawandcrime....for-joe-exotic/


'Congress Should Give Trump a $10 Billion Stimulus Payment to Resign

Here's Donald Trump, at Tuesday's White House press conference, saying he was going to put a hold on the money the U.S. pays to the World Health Organization.

And we're going to put a hold on money spent to the WHO. We're going to put a very powerful hold on it, and we're going to see.

Here's Trump later at that same press conference:

Q: Thanks. A quick follow-up on that. So is the time to freeze funding to the WHO during a pandemic of this magnitude?

THE PRESIDENT: No, maybe not. I mean, I'm not saying I'm going to do it, but we're going to look at it.

Q: You did say that you're going to —

THE PRESIDENT: We give a tremendous —

Q: You said you'd put a hold on it.

THE PRESIDENT: No, I didn't.

Great, great; good work by the president's brain, there.'

https://slate.com/ne...to-go-away.html

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This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 08 April 2020 - 10:53 PM

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#705 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 10:32 AM

So the USA has the most infected and if the numbers keep going like I'm seeing, the most deaths will happen as well. Number 1, is what Trump wants, right? Can someone put a bullet through his skull already? Even at the risk that nothing will happen because the bullet will miss the single cell organism pretending to be Trump's brain. This man is a danger to his entire country.
The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#706 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 01:32 PM

View PostGarak, on 09 April 2020 - 10:32 AM, said:

This man is a danger to his entire country the entire world.


FTFY
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#707 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 05:15 PM

That Southern belle, who's often over come by the vapors (he do declare! *fans-self), thanked the front line workers dealing with coronavirus from his residence.

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#708 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 09 April 2020 - 09:38 PM

'President of Harvard's Federalist Society Chapter Brought a Gun to Zoom Class

Harvard Law School students were startled on Wednesday when, during a class held over Zoom, a student brandished his gun on-screen. The student, Chance Fletcher, is the president of the HLS chapter of the Federalist Society, a conservative legal network. Its longtime leader, Leonard Leo, advises President Donald Trump on judicial nominees; a majority of Trump's appellate judges are members of the group.

Several of Fletcher's classmates immediately noticed the firearm, which at first he appeared to be cleaning. One student who immediately saw the weapon told Slate Fletcher then began "cocking it back and looking inside the barrel" and "practicing to make sure it clicks."

"He probably had the gun on-screen for at least 15 minutes," this student said. "At one point, the barrel was facing his face. It didn't look like he'd ever held a gun. I was worried I was going to watch my peer accidentally shoot himself."'

https://slate.com/ne...mepage_taps_top

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This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 09 April 2020 - 09:46 PM

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#709 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 10 April 2020 - 01:44 AM

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But for ventilators and PPE!
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#710 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 April 2020 - 07:25 PM

Trump tweeted:

'Tell the Democrat Governors that "Mutiny On The Bounty" was one of my all time favorite movies. A good old fashioned mutiny every now and then is an exciting and invigorating thing to watch, especially when the mutineers need so much from the Captain. Too easy!'

https://twitter.com/...075668282576898

'Eugene Gu, MD
@eugenegu

Replying to
@realDonaldTrump

Mutiny on the Bounty was about the ruthless, unjust, tyrannical Captain Bligh of the HMS Bounty who shackled his own crew and tortured so many of his own men that they mutinied against him. It's fascinating that Trump sees himself as Captain Bligh. It's quite terrifying as well.'

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 14 April 2020 - 07:26 PM

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#711 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 April 2020 - 10:57 PM

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#712 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 15 April 2020 - 03:37 PM

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#713 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 16 April 2020 - 02:40 PM

The final design has been selected and the checks are in the mail!

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#714 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 April 2020 - 04:30 PM

We laugh, but if that fuckwit get his names on the cheques just swear him into office for another term right now, he'll walk it
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#715 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 16 April 2020 - 05:30 PM

Those are jokes right? I really shouldn't have to ask but with Trump I can't use logic and reason anymore. If he's involved with it, then stupidity and insanity are pretty much guaranteed.
The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#716 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 April 2020 - 05:38 PM

'Alex Trebek Did Not Die — or Leave Millions to Trump Campaign

A viral news article falsely reports that "Jeopardy!" host Alex Trebek died on April 14, leaving his estate to President Donald Trump's reelection campaign.

[...] The story also calls Trebek "a lifelong Republican and a fervent Trump supporter" who stated that leaving his estate "estimated to be valued at 100 million dollars" to Trump's reelection campaign was "'the best thing I can do for the future of my grandchildren.'"

The article was created by America's Last Line of Defense — a network of satirical news websites, including conservativetears.com, where the Trebek story was originally posted. The Trebek story is clearly labeled as a "death hoax" on the original website, and there are several signs in the story itself that it's not true. For example, "Senator Joe Barron" — who doesn't exist — is quoted as saying that "facts don't matter and none of this is real to me," and a link to support Trump's campaign leads to a gif of a grimacing Trebek.

[...] the article has been republished and shared on Facebook without a satire label.'

https://www.factchec...trump-campaign/

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 April 2020 - 05:39 PM

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#717 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 April 2020 - 05:50 PM

View PostGarak, on 16 April 2020 - 05:30 PM, said:

Those are jokes right? I really shouldn't have to ask but with Trump I can't use logic and reason anymore. If he's involved with it, then stupidity and insanity are pretty much guaranteed.



He is demanding his name gets put on all the stimulus cheques. As if he is paying the money out
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#718 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 16 April 2020 - 07:54 PM

Hood's Balls.
The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#719 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 17 April 2020 - 02:07 PM

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'President Donald Trump arrives for the daily briefing on the novel coronavirus.'

https://slate.com/ne...presidency.html
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#720 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 18 April 2020 - 05:44 PM

'COVID-19 Protesters Just Like Rosa Parks, Says White House Adviser Stephen Moore'

https://www.huffpost...5b635d25d6cc480

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