[Gnaw]

I'm putting this here instead of discussions simply because the subject will go off on tangents almost from jump street.

As the title says, I don't want anything. Looking back I find that all my goals and motivations have been external: doing things for other people, doing things to pay bills, etc. I've had all sorts of people tell me "you need a hobby", "you need a life", etcetera etcetera ad nauseum. Well now I find myself in the position of not having a duty to anyone. No kids, parents deceased, and no familial ties of any strength to anyone.

But I don't 'want' anything. There are lots of things I'd 'like' but not enough to put myself out there or put the effort in. The closest thing I'd say to 'wanting' would be the perpetual student; find an inexpensive university and take 2 or 3 classes a term/semester with no other goal than learning. But a major part of that would have to include the discussion in and out of class; the collegiality of the back and forth discussion as part of the learning process itself.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that the unexamined life is not worth living. Unfortunately I have discovered that, in my case at least, the examined life isn't much worth either. Things don't interest me, "he who dies with the most toys still dies".

This ennui does not rise to the level of existential but it would be nice to find something to give raison d'etre. How does one do so when there is no "fire in the belly" to motivate?

[worry]

Fund my life and I will post twice as much.

[Andorion]

Make it your goal to read all the books in the world. Ever. Learn all the languages and then read all those books as well. Thats what I would do.

[exit25]

And then while you are reading them, record them on .mpg files so that blind people can listen to the great works that you have chosen to read.

[Maark Abbott]

Gnaw, on 21 August 2015 - 12:58 AM, said:

I'm putting this here instead of discussions simply because the subject will go off on tangents almost from jump street.

As the title says, I don't want anything. Looking back I find that all my goals and motivations have been external: doing things for other people, doing things to pay bills, etc. I've had all sorts of people tell me "you need a hobby", "you need a life", etcetera etcetera ad nauseum. Well now I find myself in the position of not having a duty to anyone. No kids, parents deceased, and no familial ties of any strength to anyone.

But I don't 'want' anything. There are lots of things I'd 'like' but not enough to put myself out there or put the effort in. The closest thing I'd say to 'wanting' would be the perpetual student; find an inexpensive university and take 2 or 3 classes a term/semester with no other goal than learning. But a major part of that would have to include the discussion in and out of class; the collegiality of the back and forth discussion as part of the learning process itself.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that the unexamined life is not worth living. Unfortunately I have discovered that, in my case at least, the examined life isn't much worth either. Things don't interest me, "he who dies with the most toys still dies".

This ennui does not rise to the level of existential but it would be nice to find something to give raison d'etre. How does one do so when there is no "fire in the belly" to motivate?

Effectively, you've accepted that life has no point. I came to an acceptance of that a long while back. I still enjoy myself, but the fact that there is no purpose to existence keeps me relatively grounded.

[Itwæs Nom]

If you want anything, just ask yourself whether the result is worth the effort. Thats all what life is really about.

[Silencer]

Gnaw, on 21 August 2015 - 12:58 AM, said:

I'm putting this here instead of discussions simply because the subject will go off on tangents almost from jump street.

As the title says, I don't want anything. Looking back I find that all my goals and motivations have been external: doing things for other people, doing things to pay bills, etc. I've had all sorts of people tell me "you need a hobby", "you need a life", etcetera etcetera ad nauseum. Well now I find myself in the position of not having a duty to anyone. No kids, parents deceased, and no familial ties of any strength to anyone.

But I don't 'want' anything. There are lots of things I'd 'like' but not enough to put myself out there or put the effort in. The closest thing I'd say to 'wanting' would be the perpetual student; find an inexpensive university and take 2 or 3 classes a term/semester with no other goal than learning. But a major part of that would have to include the discussion in and out of class; the collegiality of the back and forth discussion as part of the learning process itself.

I'm a firm believer in the idea that the unexamined life is not worth living. Unfortunately I have discovered that, in my case at least, the examined life isn't much worth either. Things don't interest me, "he who dies with the most toys still dies".

This ennui does not rise to the level of existential but it would be nice to find something to give raison d'etre. How does one do so when there is no "fire in the belly" to motivate?

Not to get too serious here in the Inn, but you might be depressed. If you're finding that nothing really excites you any more, and it's hard to motivate yourself, it's something to consider as a possible cause.


That aside; one possible solution is just to DO something. Go skydiving. Or skiing. Or pick something you 'like', but aren't willing to put the effort in for, and just do it. Give yourself a kick-start and after a while you might find that you're not having to force it any more.

Anyway, that's my two cents.

[QuickTidal]

I agree with Silencer, those are signs of at least a mild depressive state. I've felt like this before myself on rare occasions. Nothing one can't overcome though. You need something like skydiving, or repelling, or rock climbing...these activities are exhilarating and can be done in interesting places.

Secondly, with no parents, significant other, or other family, you are the perfect candidate to go off adventuring on your own travel-wise. Pick a place you've always been interested by and head out (with a friend or solo, whichever you think would benefit you more). This also blends into the "learning" aspect of what you enjoy...there is no better place to learn things than in other countries and cultures.

For me, something like the DEPARTURES opening, gives me INTENSE wanderlust...and the feeling it gives me watching it is a big reason why my wife and I travel so much. It makes us want to get out there. To do this. That's a fire in my belly I can't explain properly.

[Gredfallan Ale]

Okay, this may not be the best topic for me to be in, but I'll give it a go. It might be good to mention that I'm currently in therapy for depression and had suicidal thoughts in the recent past (a couple of months ago, not so much now).

I don't believe in an intellectual meaning or purpose of life, for me life is meaningless. If I would die tomorrow, then, well, it would just be *over* for me, regardless of what I do today, what I did yesterday or anything I'll ever do in the future. Sometimes I find comfort in that "knowledge", but maybe that tells you more of my psychological state than anything else.

So, the only thing that matters to me is how I feel about things. That's not really a metaphysical justification of anything, as things might be equally meaningless even if I feel anything about them, but it's the only I've got. So, occasionally I like to read, play bass, listen to music, do sports, talk with friends, or travel, but I have had whole periods in which nothing really mattered to me. One of the things I love most, doing stuff for others, requires others that are close to you and I don't have a lot those now. That might be a good thing, too, as thinking of others was usually a way of not having to think about my own life and my "failures".

However, I've accepted this lack of "passion", as you may call it. Why do I do things? Well, because I enjoy them or because they make me feel good. Do they have to have greater purpose? Not really. Do I need a "true purpose in life", some greater goal to work on, some great future to establish? No, I don't think so. I used to care a lot about what others would think of me. Would they see me as a failure? Someone without a great career? Well, truth is I still think of those (imagined) opinions, but less and less often. I don't care what others think of me as their opinions are as meaningless as life itself.

The only thing I can say about your situation is that you might not need a big "wanting", a big "purpose", or a true "life goal". So, I would join in with Silencer and QuickTidal and recommend to just do some exhilarating stuff, whatever that is for. You might find a passion sometime, but maybe it's not really necessary to enjoy day-to-day life and what else is there really, than enjoying day-to-day life?

This post has been edited by Gredfallan Ale: 21 August 2015 - 03:04 PM

[Itwæs Nom]

‘Some people don't go through their lives searching, Smiles. I'm not looking, because I'm not expecting to find anything. You want meaning? Make it up. You want truth? Invent it. Makes no difference, to anything. Sun comes up, sun goes down. We see one, maybe we don't see the other, but the sun doesn't care, does it?'

‘Right,' she said, ‘so we're in agreement.'

‘Not quite. I'm not saying it's not worth it. I'm saying the opposite. You make worlds, worlds inside your head and worlds outside, but only the one inside counts for anything. It's where you find peace, acceptance. Worth. You, you're just talking about everything being useless. Starting with yourself. That's a bad attitude, Smiles. Worse than Cuttle's.'

[nacht]

You need to get laid

[Nevyn]

*shrug*

Try things. Its easy when you are a bit down and don't have a lot going on to not feel super motivated to do anything. And new things especially.

But if you just power through it and go out and try some new experiences and meet some new peoples, you'll probably find some experiences you enjoy. Will you find a "raison d'etre"? Probably not. But who is to say the search itself is not the reason.

[amphibian]

Gnaw, on 21 August 2015 - 12:58 AM, said:

But I don't 'want' anything.

I struggle with this at times. That "flatness" isn't necessarily bad, but it's not a state to resign one's self to.

I think you're on the right path with the constant learner thing. Trying a bunch of different things to find something that resonates with you and puts you in a place where you feel alive is a very good idea. It doesn't have to be through a formal school/university, but that can be a good place to start.

Working out helps in terms of keeping energy levels higher and providing a constructive outlet for frustration. I do Brazilian jiu jitsu, so it's a workout and a puzzle-solving challenge as well. I also get revitalized from hanging out with close friends and some family members, just from pure comfort factor and learning how they go about things, getting their feedback on what I do, commiserating the sadder events and celebrating the happier times. I also find that a significant other helps keep one motivated and wanting things (especially each other's company), so dating and/or trying to date would be good.

Gredfallan Ale, on 21 August 2015 - 03:03 PM, said:

Okay, this may not be the best topic for me to be in, but I'll give it a go. It might be good to mention that I'm currently in therapy for depression and had suicidal thoughts in the recent past (a couple of months ago, not so much now).

Way to go in getting help and sticking with it. I'm glad to have you around here too.

[Nicodimas]

Is this abnormal? I notice this all the time. Stuff is just meaningless usually meant to try to impart you as a good little worker as they let you have some time off,money and toys. Most which probably be Harvested in landfills sometime in 2100, when the resources wars are going on…. Ya know?

1) Go Volunteer for the disadvantaged, homeless shelter or soup kitchen. Perspective is a must in reality. Yes, I realize that is you effectively doing something for others, but sometimes it’s good to work on the Spiritual <Karma> VS the Physical <Working out> or Mental <Reading>.
2) Another Idea is roll with a Delusional State of being: This can be quite uplifting. I choose finding way’s in apocalyptic world to survive to be fun little part time gig. In said before mentioned future resource wars, this would be an excellent area of opportunity to make sure your future Kin come out on the top!
3) Travel
4) Search find something that makes you happy, whatever it is...

[worry]

Gnaw could you please make this a poll now?

[Gnaw]

worry, on 22 August 2015 - 01:32 AM, said:

Gnaw could you please make this a poll now?

hahahaha.

Thanks to you and all.

[Mentalist]

Not wanting stuff is a pretty normal state of things. Most of my life i've been plagued by what my family refer to as "lack of ambition".

Ionno, possibly it's the whole perspective thing, but ever since I spent a year post-undegrad doing door-to-door fundraising in the poorer parts of the city, I don't grapple with existential crises. I went to law school, pretty resigned to the fact that I won't be "changing the world". But I'm ok with that. Working in personal injury put me in contact with a ton of desperately unhappy, unfortunate people--some of whom I was actually able to help somewhat, by making their lot in life less miserable.

Is there a big point to life? Probably not. So, try to do good. And enjoy things you have: books, games, sports, whatever.

Anhedonia (lack of interest) can be brutal, b/c it's so subtle. Go volunteer at a local soup kitchen or homeless shelter, talk to people. It should help adjust your perspective on how to appreciate what you have. For me, staying healthy is a big thing now that was a wake-up call.

[Calm's Peace]

Here's my two-cents..
First step..find something beautiful and pause to enjoy it for the fleeting thing that it is. This can be anything...nature, music, a person, a building, piece of art..anything as long as you stop to really make yourself enjoy it. Who knows, what you will find in that pause...a smile, a moment of creation, a twinge of sadness at the fragility of nature..it doesn't matter as long as you find something, feel something..Inspiration can be found in the smallest things..maybe you will write a crappy poem, take a picture, enjoy the fulfillment of a child-like day dream, or just take a breath and for a moment stop worrying about what you should be and enjoy the act of living while you create something equally intangible, a new memory in the normal, bland, mindless grind of everyday life.

While routines can be good in life, they can also make it boring...so if the above doesn't appeal to you I suggest you start messing up your routine...make life a little chaotic. Something a little different every day no matter how ridiculous it may feel..

[Abyss]

Travel.Pick a place, any place, and go there. Go touristy, go counterculture, go backpack, go sit around in pretentious cafes and stare at people. Don't just break your routine, fucking detonate it.... No connections, no obligations... Dude, this is state of being that rarely lasts.... Get out there and take advantage the fuck out of it. Take tours, stay in hostels, meet people, drink with some, eat with some, make the sex with some...
My answer is travel.

[Itwæs Nom]

I hope youre ok by now, but in case youre not
Maybe somebody mentioned that already and I missed that but...
Make.
Whatever.
It can be art, poetry as calm said, photos, ship models or whatever you fucking want. Just make something that will stay here. Even though it will be crappy it might help, for example Im participiating in this Egwene's Advent calendar project and I cant really draw. But I find it funny yet.