Odds on The New Pope

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Odds on The New Pope Cardinal sin of gambling.

#1 Spoilsport Stonny

Mortal Sword

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 01:26 AM

My money is on "old", "white" and "guy".

Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.

#2 Illuyankas

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Will cluck you up

Posted 11 March 2013 - 01:28 AM

You say that but it could easily be that African one who was all for making homosexuality a capital offence. They're all probably going to continue the same excessively harmful practises anyway.

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.

#3 D'rek

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 02:12 AM

Batman

worrywort, on 14 September 2012 - 08:07 PM, said:

I kinda love it when D'rek unleashes her nerd wrath, as I knew she would here. Sorry innocent bystanders, but someone's gotta be the kindling.

#4 Assail

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 02:36 AM

Illuyankas, on 11 March 2013 - 01:28 AM, said:

You say that but it could easily be that African one who was all for making homosexuality a capital offence. They're all probably going to continue the same excessively harmful practises anyway.

Yeah seriously... glad we've both read The Da Vinci code and Angels and Demons.

I still heart Goodkind.

#5 worry

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 02:37 AM

I'm in the running, so fingers crossed please.

They came with white hands and left with red hands.

#6 Assail

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 02:55 AM

worrywort, on 11 March 2013 - 02:37 AM, said:

I'm in the running, so fingers crossed please.

You have my vote....

I still heart Goodkind.

#7 Assail

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 02:56 AM

26520804.jpg (130.74K)
Number of downloads: 1

I still heart Goodkind.

#8 Darkwatch

A Strange Human

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1.6180339887

Posted 11 March 2013 - 03:36 AM

I sent my candidacy to our Canadian cardinal.
My credentials are:
-Catholic
-Male
-Baptized
-First Confession
-First Communion
-Confirmation
-Presently celibate
-Studied Latin, Ancient Greek, Syriac and Hebrew

Platform
-Make homosexuality okay within the Church
-Ordain women
-Allow marriage of priests
-Allow birth control and abortion
Following those reforms, all the hardliner weirdos in the Church will start yelling. This in turn will let me know who they are which will lead to the:
-Great Cleasing in which I excommunicate all those nutjobs.
-Mott will be made the head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (the Inquisition)
-Promote true universal faith. The Church has not done its job to ensure universal Catholicism, the Church is still confined to only one planet. This is unacceptable. As Pope I will promote space colonization of Mars and the Outer Moons as well as Lagrange point habitats an generation ships to other stars.
-Promote Science, since understanding the universe is understanding God's work.
-Open up the archives to investigators to identify any and all clergymen who have abused their power and position (child abuse and everything else) hand over the evidence to the pertinent authorities.
-Change up the Papal wardrobe a bit, a bit more modern and practical but still retaining that liturgical Gravitas. I'd also have a Papal bullet proof vest to allow me greater forays among the flock.
-Perform at least one Christmas Mass in St-Peter's Square in Klingon.
-Re-enforce interfaith dialogue.
-Bring in some web designers and really overhaul every site under Vatican authority.
-Write an in depth encyclical on the evolution of the Church through history showing that tradition can and must change and that our understanding of God and faith have to change with greater theological questioning as it has in the past.
-Institute Papal Tea Time which will be great moments to discuss with random pilgrims wherever I am.
-Travel a lot to help build bridges and understanding. Specifically in Africa and South-America.
-Institute the "Sunday Campaign", which will be month long RPG campaigns every Sunday (DnD, GURPS, Unisystem, Rogue Trader, Mutants & Mastermind, etc...) with random Catholics.

That's about it. If I think of anything else I'll add it. I'm also open to suggestions.

The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist

Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.

#9 Spoilsport Stonny

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 03:39 AM

Illuyankas, on 11 March 2013 - 01:28 AM, said:

You say that but it could easily be that African one who was all for making homosexuality a capital offence. They're all probably going to continue the same excessively harmful practises anyway.

I knew about the african cardinal but he cant be pope. Everyone knows african cardinals are non migratory.

#10 King Lear

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 03:43 AM

Hmm Darkwatch or worrwort for pope.

Darkwatch has a better platform, but a pope with snark is appealing also.

*Men's Frights Activist*

#11 Abyss

abyssus abyssum invocat

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 03:50 AM

Is Emperor Palpatine still available?

THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT

#12 Obdigore

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 03:59 AM

I still think I would be the best person to be the next pope.

I would drop all pretense of a religious organization and initiate my plan for religious takeover.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#13 worry

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 04:30 AM

When I was little I went to catechism class once, but it was on a Saturday during cartoons, so I never went again.

They came with white hands and left with red hands.

#14 Adjutant Stormy~

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 08:17 AM

Beep boop vote for Stormy.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'>God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?

bla bla bla

Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.

Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french

EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.</div>

#15 HoosierDaddy

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Posted 11 March 2013 - 08:26 AM

Cardinal Richelieu for the win!

Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....