Malazan Empire: GoodReads Users Unite! - Malazan Empire

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GoodReads Users Unite! Defend Malazan.

#1 User is offline   SylvanShade 

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Posted 23 January 2012 - 01:04 AM

Anyone here that has a GoodReads account, post your account name so we can connect.

And while you're at it, take a gander at the utter blasphemy being spoken about Malazan by these heretics! If you have an account, help me in defending Malazan, for I am completely alone in my opinion at the moment...
If I look back, I am lost.
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#2 User is offline   Adjutant Stormy~ 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 12:33 AM

We've tried to avoid war with other sites. We take solace in winning the Suvudu Deathmatch.
<!--quoteo(post=462161:date=Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM:name=Aptorian)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?

bla bla bla

Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.

Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french

EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
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#3 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 03:14 AM

Wow, more of the "couldn't finish the first book" nerds. You can't argue with those yahoos friend.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#4 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 04:24 AM

Surprise surprise, I'm saltmanz over at GoodReads.
"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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#5 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 06:36 AM

They are weak, and do not deserve the Malazan goodness.
When the revolution comes, they will be among the first to die. Then, torture.

Posted Image

- Abyss, now with even more evil laughter.
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#6 User is offline   SylvanShade 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 08:15 AM

View PostAbyss, on 24 January 2012 - 06:36 AM, said:

They are weak, and do not deserve the Malazan goodness.
When the revolution comes, they will be among the first to die. Then, torture.



They don't deserve death. I say we shall create a warren of fire, pain and despair and place them in there for eternity.
Everlasting torture seems a suitable punishment for literary ignorance.
If I look back, I am lost.
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#7 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 12:58 PM

View PostSylvanShade, on 24 January 2012 - 08:15 AM, said:

View PostAbyss, on 24 January 2012 - 06:36 AM, said:

They are weak, and do not deserve the Malazan goodness.
When the revolution comes, they will be among the first to die. Then, torture.



They don't deserve death. I say we shall create a warren of fire, pain and despair and place them in there for eternity.
Everlasting torture seems a suitable punishment for literary ignorance.


If you leave out the fire, we could achieve the same effect by strapping them to chairs and making them watch the Twilight movies on endless repeat.

Maybe alternate with a soundtrack of Tairy audiobooks. :p

EDIT: speaking of which, notice a resemblance?

Attached File(s)


This post has been edited by Sombra: 24 January 2012 - 01:01 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#8 User is offline   SylvanShade 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 03:29 PM

Give me an eternity of hellish torture over contemporary young-adult pop fiction any day. I'd much rather gaze into the dismal black holes of a demon's puissant eyes than at those costive teenage countenances.
What they need is some vitamin D and fiber...

Who is Tairy? I am grossly uninformed. :p
If I look back, I am lost.
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#9 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 03:58 PM

View PostSylvanShade, on 24 January 2012 - 03:29 PM, said:

Who is Tairy? I am grossly uninformed. :p


Turn around and walk away now, and pray to all the gods you can think of—pray so very very hard—that you may remain in your quaint bubble of uninformed innocence for ever and a day, before your life is destroyed utterly.

This post has been edited by Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast: 24 January 2012 - 03:59 PM

The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

"Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." Iain Banks
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#10 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 08:18 PM

Quote

Who is Tairy? I am grossly uninformed.


Oh god you innocent soul. Ignorance is bliss indeed (at least in this case). Try very hard to never find out who Tairy is and in all honesty all you need to know about the man is that he writes about rape and evil chickens.

Also I know what we can do to those heretics. The same as a famous king from around these parts (more or less) did. I'll give you a hint, the guy's name was Vlad the Impaler (or Vlad the Spike as I prefer to call him).

This post has been edited by Garak: 24 January 2012 - 09:47 PM

The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#11 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 09:08 PM

View PostSylvanShade, on 24 January 2012 - 03:29 PM, said:

Who is Tairy? I am grossly uninformed. :D



we're all just going to pretend we didn't read that and allow you to carry on blissfully untainted by evil rapechicken monsters.
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
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#12 User is offline   champ 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 09:15 PM

The first rule about Tairy, we dont speak about Tairy... unless it's to offer just insults!

Tehol said:

'Yet my heart breaks for a naked hen.'
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#13 User is online   worry 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 09:39 PM

The board is being coy, but they are referring to infamous fantasy author Tairy Hesticles.
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#14 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 09:48 PM

His very name makes the Black Tongue of Mordor sounds beautiful elven poetry - you know, the kind that is so nice and sweet that it just makes you gag.
The meaning of life is BOOM!!!
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#15 User is offline   JLV 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 10:06 PM

Terry Goodkind.
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#16 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 24 January 2012 - 11:02 PM

View PostJLV, on 24 January 2012 - 10:06 PM, said:

Terry Goodkind.


The urge to neg-rep this is almost unbearable.

I feel sick.
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

"Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." Iain Banks
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#17 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 12:18 AM

View PostJLV, on 24 January 2012 - 10:06 PM, said:

I am the worst person on this forum.

JOKERUINERS WILL BE FIRST UP AGAINST THE WALL COME THE REVOLUTION
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#18 User is offline   JLV 

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 12:30 AM

I am the Stalin to your Lenin.

Tehe.

*Skips merrily away*
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#19 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 01:43 AM

I AM ABOUT TO SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCING YOUR ASSKICKING
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#20 User is offline   SylvanShade 

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Posted 25 January 2012 - 01:43 AM

Oh I see. Yes, Goodkind is quite awful.
His books have this strange effect on people, for instance, when I finished Wizard's First Rule, I immediately prostrated myself along the floor and pretended I was a carrot. It went on for days. :D
If I look back, I am lost.
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