Malazan Empire: The Beard Thread - Malazan Empire

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The Beard Thread For beard lovers everywhere

#21 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 01:19 PM

This thread has taken off far better than I expected it to!

View PostDarkwatch, on 13 July 2011 - 10:16 PM, said:

Tools:
-Good trimmer with variable length selector
-Razor
-Scissors

Those are the basics you will need.

Depending on how you grow your beard the trimmer will help you keep a good length without forcing you to use the scissors all the time.
The razor is for trimmed beards again. I grow a goatee with a long mane following my jaw line that frames the face. That means I keep my cheeks shaved clean, so the razor is important for keeping it bare.
The scissors are for shaping longer beards, essential, though getting a barber to do it is also a good idea considering the coordination some people lack. Also helps get rid of stray hairs.

Otherwise I love my beard. Gives me an august look.
Sometimes I shave down to the goatee, usually for reasons of shaving accidents or during the summer months when it gets hot.


The beard has had a mixed reaction from everyone. My mother and grandmother waged a 4 year campaign against the beard, they failed. Recently my father has made some rather un-manly comments regarding the beard.
Most of my peers though like my beard, with most people who have seen me without telling me that I look far better with it, and I agree.
I've been called a wizard by a 5 year old because of my beard and been mistaken for a pirate while wearing a bandanna in combination with my beard, awesome all around really.


Beard related music:

http://www.youtube.c...u/2/tTjrwgnJHpM


My most recent style has been a similar sort of thing, though I didn't trim it much and have been leaving it to grow. I'm now leaving it to fill out on my cheeks as well because it's starting to look a bit odd and muslim-like, otherwise. (It went from the goatee in my profile picture to extending along my jawline to connect with the sideburns, being slightly trimmed once then left to grow. The moustache has also been trimmed a little and is now being left to do its own thing again.)

My problem is that I get bored really quickly and change the style all the time, so I'm having to be patient while letting it grow out and stop myself from changing my mind and giving up.

I should like to see this beard of yours -- it sounds mighty impressive and I think I'm imagining it to be a lot more pointy than it may actually be.

I'm also wondering, is anyone here a gardener as well as a beard-grower and how similar is cultivating a fine beard to taking care of your plants?
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

"Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." Iain Banks
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#22 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 01:30 PM

View PostDarkwatch, on 13 July 2011 - 10:16 PM, said:

Tools:
-Good trimmer with variable length selector
-Razor
-Scissors




incorrect old chum
#
the tools you need -
the ability to grow hair on your face.
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#23 User is online   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 07:47 PM

I am currently not allowed to grow out an epic beard like I used to. I miss it. I also miss having sideburns...
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#24 User is offline   Grimjust Bearegular 

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 09:01 PM

View PostWolfy, on 14 July 2011 - 12:02 AM, said:

I've been pondering regrowing my beard after I shaved it for my banshee of an ex :p


Ponder no more! DO IT!!!




Also, I prefer more natural looking beards over trimmed ones. Trimmed and "landscaped" beards tend to look a little douchy :D
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#25 User is offline   Bapop 

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 09:17 PM

Where are all the beards?

I do love my beard but during the summer I keep it trimmed down to 8mm. Mostly I just use my beard-trimmer to keep it in check but, I also have my 'special' scissor for tricky parts. Naturally a beard is a great way to strike up a conversation since my experience is that most people are impressed as long as you keep the beard somewhat tidy. Also, it makes you look great in a hat :p

Attached File(s)


This post has been edited by Bapop: 14 July 2011 - 09:19 PM

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#26 User is offline   Grimjust Bearegular 

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 09:36 PM

That's a nice-looking beard.
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#27 User is offline   D'iversify 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 10:35 AM

I have a forked beard. It outbeards many a beard. I also have a fine moustache to boot, but I guess that's material for another thread.
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#28 User is offline   Centzon Totochtin 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 11:39 AM

http://www.myspace.c...ng-sex-82982620

beard lovers out there, have a listen to this Adelaide band, you'll like the theme of their music :p
That Elephant is looking rather frayed at the edges
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#29 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 12:23 PM

I have a full beard, but I shave my neck cos otherwise it sort of velcros to my clothes.

Last year I did a bit of an experiment with the beard and here are the results

THe day before:Attached File  P1020344.JPG (50.18K)
Number of downloads: 1

The Goatee and Burns Attached File  P1020359.JPG (45.99K)
Number of downloads: 1

The Trucker Attached File  P1020360.JPG (39.26K)
Number of downloads: 1

Dude, where's my spitfire Attached File  P1020363.JPG (35.16K)
Number of downloads: 1

The Charlie Chaplin, obviously: Attached File  P1020365.JPG (41.12K)
Number of downloads: 1

All gone: Attached File  P1020367.JPG (42.15K)
Number of downloads: 1
I AM A TWAT
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#30 User is offline   Use Of Weapons 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 12:24 PM

Spitfire? Porn-tache, rather
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#31 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 12:25 PM

I usually sport a full beard that goes well with my short trimmed hair but just for kicks I shaved it off last week. Now I miss my beard. I look 5 years younger.

Has anyone noticed that when you meet other people with a full beard there is a moment of mutual recognition and acceptance. A beard brother if you will.
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#32 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 12:41 PM

View PostPennyapt, on 15 July 2011 - 12:25 PM, said:

Has anyone noticed that when you meet other people with a full beard there is a moment of mutual recognition and acceptance. A beard brother if you will.


YES! It's like meeting another white person in Japan, only AWESOME!
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#33 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 12:46 PM

View PostD, on 15 July 2011 - 10:35 AM, said:

I have a forked beard. It outbeards many a beard. I also have a fine moustache to boot, but I guess that's material for another thread.


No no, moustache talk is encouraged here.
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#34 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 12:59 PM

My god! The Chest Minge is merging with the forest of back hair.

Courgar's coat is coming in nice. Another ten years and Cougar will be known as the fabulous wereginger.

Attached File  Cougar hair.jpg (24.94K)
Number of downloads: 1

This post has been edited by Pennyapt: 15 July 2011 - 01:00 PM

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#35 User is offline   Captain Beardface 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 01:20 PM

Here are various incarnations of my beard

Attached File(s)


Monsignor:...Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.
Connor: [as the brothers exit the church] I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.
Murphy: Aye.

Boondock Saints
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#36 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 02:22 PM

That, sir, is a magnificent beard! Just moments ago I decided to trim mine down to a more reasonable length and whatnot:

Attached File  Photo on 2011-07-15 at 15.16.jpg (80.68K)
Number of downloads: 2
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

"Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." Iain Banks
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#37 User is offline   HiddenOne 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 02:29 PM

I think MuttonChops is about to win the gold star.

In my glorious & misspent youth, I grew the long goatee to compliment my heavy metal hair. Once I became a productive member of society (sad & terrible) the beard & hair must be kept moderately trimmed.
HiddenOne. You son of a bitch. You slimy, skulking, low-posting scumbag. You knew it would come to this. Roundabout, maybe. Tortuous, certainly. But here we are, you and me again. I started the train on you so many many hours ago, and now I'm going to finish it. Die HO. Die. This is for last time, and this is for this game too. This is for all the people who died to your backstabbing, treacherous, "I sure don't know what's going on around here" filthy lying, deceitful ways. You son of a bitch. Whatever happens, this is justice. For me, this is justice. Vote HiddenOne Finally, I am at peace.
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#38 User is offline   Captain Beardface 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 03:15 PM

I've been in the corporate workforce for 6 years and the long hair and beard have been with me pretty much the entire time. Granted the hair wasn't quite as long and beard went into hiding for the interview but being an engineer they put more emphasis on what inside the head then what's outside it
Monsignor:...Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.
Connor: [as the brothers exit the church] I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.
Murphy: Aye.

Boondock Saints
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#39 User is offline   Morgoth 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 03:34 PM

View PostMuttonChops, on 15 July 2011 - 03:15 PM, said:

I've been in the corporate workforce for 6 years and the long hair and beard have been with me pretty much the entire time. Granted the hair wasn't quite as long and beard went into hiding for the interview but being an engineer they put more emphasis on what inside the head then what's outside it


Funny, we do it the other way around in the legal field. Going by what one knows would be a world gone all topsy-turvy!
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#40 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 03:39 PM

I grow mine on occasion...though my gf's mother likes to say shit to me like "Growing a beard huh?" in a mocking, "I don't like it" tone cause she thinks men should be clean shaven. "YES I am growing a beard future mother-in-law, and I can't hear your complaints over how awesome it is!"

My only issues is how long I have to grow it out to look somewhat full since I have Japanese heritage in me it grows straight and spikey for a long while before it can be "becalmed" and leak awesome.

Still, there is nothing I like better than growing a beard.
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