Malazan Empire: The Beard Thread - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

  • 6 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

The Beard Thread For beard lovers everywhere

#1 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

  • Knight Seneschal
  • Group: Team Quick Ben
  • Posts: 1,551
  • Joined: 31-August 10
  • Location:London, UK
  • Interests:Fencing, ninpo, didjeridu, good books, good films and irn-bru.
  • Pre-dinner mayonnaise -- it's good for you!

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:05 PM

So, I've not seen a beard thread before and thought that perhaps we could do with one.

I'm looking for any beard (I nearly typed bread there) discussion, ranging from beard styles and beard stories to ongoing beard projects and beard photos (of yourselves or just generally awesome beards); from beard growing tips and tricks, all the way to beard grooming methods, preferences, tools etc. (including shaving if you're a clean shaven fellow). Anything goes, as long as it's about beards.

Ladies are welcome, especially if they have beards.

GO!

This post has been edited by Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast: 13 July 2011 - 10:05 PM

The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

"Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." Iain Banks
0

#2 User is offline   Grimjust Bearegular 

  • Irregular Bacon Berserker Medic of the Abyssmal Army
  • View gallery
  • Group: Malazan Artist
  • Posts: 1,638
  • Joined: 20-July 06
  • Location:Vault 101
  • Interests:MAFIA, drawing and writing.
  • Godless killing machine - and proud of it!

    Also, braaaaiiiinnnnzzzzzzzz!

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:14 PM

I love bearded men.





That is all.
Things and stuffs...and other important objects.
2

#3 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:15 PM

I might eventually grow my beard back. It was a wonder.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#4 User is offline   Darkwatch 

  • A Strange Human
  • Group: The Most Holy and Exalted Inquis
  • Posts: 2,190
  • Joined: 21-February 03
  • Location:MACS0647-JD
  • 1.6180339887

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:16 PM

Tools:
-Good trimmer with variable length selector
-Razor
-Scissors

Those are the basics you will need.

Depending on how you grow your beard the trimmer will help you keep a good length without forcing you to use the scissors all the time.
The razor is for trimmed beards again. I grow a goatee with a long mane following my jaw line that frames the face. That means I keep my cheeks shaved clean, so the razor is important for keeping it bare.
The scissors are for shaping longer beards, essential, though getting a barber to do it is also a good idea considering the coordination some people lack. Also helps get rid of stray hairs.

Otherwise I love my beard. Gives me an august look.
Sometimes I shave down to the goatee, usually for reasons of shaving accidents or during the summer months when it gets hot.


The beard has had a mixed reaction from everyone. My mother and grandmother waged a 4 year campaign against the beard, they failed. Recently my father has made some rather un-manly comments regarding the beard.
Most of my peers though like my beard, with most people who have seen me without telling me that I look far better with it, and I agree.
I've been called a wizard by a 5 year old because of my beard and been mistaken for a pirate while wearing a bandanna in combination with my beard, awesome all around really.


Beard related music:

http://www.youtube.c...u/2/tTjrwgnJHpM

This post has been edited by Darkwatch: 13 July 2011 - 10:17 PM

The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist

Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
0

#5 User is offline   Beezulbubba 

  • ---
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Banned Users
  • Posts: 1,087
  • Joined: 06-August 09

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:47 PM

I posted this in the Awesome vids thread, but maybe it is more appropriate here (1:15 for funniest part).


#6 User is offline   Obdigore 

  • ThunderBear
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 6,165
  • Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:49 PM

We actually did have a beard thread. I think it was decided that I have the most awesome beard of all time. Or something like that.
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.
0

#7 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

  • Necromancer Extraordinaire
  • View gallery
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 1,488
  • Joined: 19-May 11
  • Location:Northern Hemisphere
  • Interests:Glass slides with entrapped bits of colored tissue
  • Around, just quiet....er

Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:58 PM

I tried growing a beard in undergrad and had a fair sized one. Problem is, I have a beard bald patch that runs down the center under my chin, which creates an unsightly divide and leaves it looking more like a pair of low mutton chops. I'll try to find a pic, if I can remember where it is...
"You don't clean u other peoples messes.... You roll in them like a dog on leftover smoked whitefish torn out f the trash by raccoons after Sunday brunch on a hot day."
~Abyss

0

#8 User is offline   Wolfy 

  • Lair of the Spectacular Tongue Beast
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 136
  • Joined: 05-June 11
  • Location:Brisbane, Australia

Posted 14 July 2011 - 12:02 AM

I've been pondering regrowing my beard after I shaved it for my banshee of an ex :p
0

#9 User is offline   Adjutant Stormy~ 

  • Captain, Team Quick Ben
  • Group: Team Quick Ben
  • Posts: 1,344
  • Joined: 24-January 08

Posted 14 July 2011 - 12:14 AM

View PostDarkwatch, on 13 July 2011 - 10:16 PM, said:

I grow a goatee with a long mane following my jaw line that frames the face. That means I keep my cheeks shaved clean


This is exactly the style my brother and my best friend wear. And it never fails to weird me out that you'd take the time to shave your cheeks.
<!--quoteo(post=462161:date=Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM:name=Aptorian)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?

bla bla bla

Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.

Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french

EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
0

#10 User is offline   King Lear 

  • Une belle quelquesomething sans merci
  • Group: Mott Irregulars
  • Posts: 678
  • Joined: 01-October 09

Posted 14 July 2011 - 12:15 AM

I want a beard. So I can stroke it when I am thinking. Or even just pretending to think. But my face won't let me :p
*Men's Frights Activist*
1

#11 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 14 July 2011 - 12:16 AM

Buy a fake one. It'll also help with not getting ID'd at shops and bars.

(also the newest summary page is up if you haven't seen it yet)
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
1

#12 User is offline   King Lear 

  • Une belle quelquesomething sans merci
  • Group: Mott Irregulars
  • Posts: 678
  • Joined: 01-October 09

Posted 14 July 2011 - 12:25 AM

It doesn't look the same :p

*Runs away to read plot summary*
*Men's Frights Activist*
0

#13 User is offline   Loki 

  • Knight Commander of Team Quick Ben
  • Group: Team Quick Ben
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Joined: 16-September 02
  • Location:Alpha Quadrant
  • WWQBDFTW?

Posted 14 July 2011 - 01:45 AM


Wry, on 29 February 2012 - 10:50 AM, said:

And you're not complaining, you're criticizing. It's a side-effect of being better than everyone else, I get it sometimes too.

~TQB~
1

#14 User is online   worry 

  • Master of the Deck
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 14,808
  • Joined: 24-February 10
  • Location:the buried west

Posted 14 July 2011 - 03:12 AM

View PostGust Hubb, on 13 July 2011 - 10:58 PM, said:

I tried growing a beard in undergrad and had a fair sized one. Problem is, I have a beard bald patch that runs down the center under my chin, which creates an unsightly divide and leaves it looking more like a pair of low mutton chops. I'll try to find a pic, if I can remember where it is...


Posted Image
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
0

#15 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

  • Necromancer Extraordinaire
  • View gallery
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 1,488
  • Joined: 19-May 11
  • Location:Northern Hemisphere
  • Interests:Glass slides with entrapped bits of colored tissue
  • Around, just quiet....er

Posted 14 July 2011 - 03:45 AM

View Postworrywort, on 14 July 2011 - 03:12 AM, said:

View PostGust Hubb, on 13 July 2011 - 10:58 PM, said:

I tried growing a beard in undergrad and had a fair sized one. Problem is, I have a beard bald patch that runs down the center under my chin, which creates an unsightly divide and leaves it looking more like a pair of low mutton chops. I'll try to find a pic, if I can remember where it is...


Posted Image


For lack of a good comeback:

Posted Image
"You don't clean u other peoples messes.... You roll in them like a dog on leftover smoked whitefish torn out f the trash by raccoons after Sunday brunch on a hot day."
~Abyss

0

#16 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

  • The Recidivist
  • Group: LHTEC
  • Posts: 2,371
  • Joined: 17-January 08
  • Location:Oz
  • Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
  • The AIJman cometh

Posted 14 July 2011 - 09:56 AM

I might not rock a long, luxurious chin-mane, but it grows back FUCKING QUICK. Like, seriously, within a day. Once I didn't shave for a week, and when I went back to school, they called me Wolverine. The name stuck. :p

Also, I'm irritated by the fact that my hairs arent completely shaved off when I do pull out the razor-something to do with the effect of the blades upon the skin, the hair not lying flat, etc. Anyone have a work-around for this problem? It looks like I have a bunch of black dots on my face and it's a beetch.
Suck it Errant!


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


0

#17 User is offline   Use Of Weapons 

  • Soletaken
  • View gallery
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 2,237
  • Joined: 06-May 03
  • Location:Manchester, UK
  • Interests:Writing. Martial arts. Sport. Music, playing and singing, composition.

Posted 14 July 2011 - 10:00 AM

Beards are wrong. That is all.
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true.
-- Oscar Wilde
0

#18 User is offline   Gothos 

  • Map painting expert
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 5,428
  • Joined: 01-January 03
  • Location:.pl

Posted 14 July 2011 - 10:03 AM

I want a beard. But it. Just. Won't. Grow.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
0

#19 User is offline   Use Of Weapons 

  • Soletaken
  • View gallery
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 2,237
  • Joined: 06-May 03
  • Location:Manchester, UK
  • Interests:Writing. Martial arts. Sport. Music, playing and singing, composition.

Posted 14 July 2011 - 10:44 AM

If you need a beard to demonstrate your manliness, you have failed at being a man, IMO.
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true.
-- Oscar Wilde
0

#20 User is offline   Morgoth 

  • executor emeritus
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 11,448
  • Joined: 24-January 03
  • Location:the void

Posted 14 July 2011 - 11:14 AM

View PostUseOfWeapons, on 14 July 2011 - 10:44 AM, said:

If you need a beard to demonstrate your manliness, you have failed at being a man, IMO.


My penis demonstrates my manliness. I have a beard because I prefer the way I look with one.
Take good care to keep relations civil
It's decent in the first of gentlemen
To speak friendly, Even to the devil
4

Share this topic:


  • 6 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users