[Maark Abbott]

If popular opinion holds weight, because teh mooslems.

Why does Senpai reject my advances?

[Dolmen 2.0]

Because your Kawaii is not Moe enough.

Why do the babies starve when there's enough food to feed the world?

This post has been edited by Dolmen 2.0: 15 May 2015 - 07:02 AM

[Maark Abbott]

Because my name is Michael J. Caboose.

Why does one of my earrings feel like it's on the cusp of rejecting?

[Ashes]

Because you can't stop running around checking the sex of the little lizards around where you live. In your excited frenzy at each discovery, unfortunately, you then forget to clean you hands.

What are these new dangling bits Maark has put between my legs? Not complaining, kind of fun to play with..just wish they were a bit larger..

[Maark Abbott]

You are now Coryphellus and Sera needs to punch you in the dangle-bag. A prerequisite to this is you having a dangle-bag to start with.

Why are my work such a grouping of dangle-bags?

[Ashes]

You're looking at them too directly. Try only ever to view them from the corner of your eye. Everything will become fascinatingly clear after a couple of weeks!

Why can't I stop snaking on this bag of chili-spiced mango?

[Maark Abbott]

Because chili and mango is an epic combination.

Why is my head thumping so very badly today?

[Gust Hubb]

Probably the the carbon monoxide Abyss has been pumping into your house.'

Why are all of Abyss's endeavors of late filled with failure? Where's the win?

[Maark Abbott]

He can't moderate and enact a world domination strategy at the same time; he hasn't the uber micro required.

Why do I need two tablespoons of coffee to get anything out of it?

[Ashes]

Gust Hubb has been cutting your coffee grinds with kitty litter stolen from Abyss super secret laboratory.

What happened to my shoe at the bar Saturday night? I entered with two, came home with only one.

[koehkont]

It develeped a mind of its own and decided it didn't want to be on your foot anymore. It went to Austria to explore the Alps. Centuries from now they will find a frozen body in a block of ice with two shoes on its feet and one shoe looking to sneak up on him from behind. All will wonder at the strange age that must have been.

Why is there a limited amount of discount chicken I can buy in the local supermarket?

[Ashes]

The supermarket wants to limit the amount of healthy food you can consume in the hopes that it will lead you down the other far more profitable and dangerously snacky areas, eventually leading to an unstoppable weekly craving for cheesy poofs and snacky cakes.

Do people who drink light beer actually like the taste of beer?

[Messremb]

No, that's why they drink light beer. It's marginally more socially acceptable than licking a toilet bowl but delivers the same great taste.

Why do some people drive at speeds of 45 in a 60 but then on entering a 30 try to drive at 35?

[Gust Hubb]

I think it has to do with conservation of momentum or some sort o physics crap.

Why does everyone in my family get sicker than me?

[Ashes]

I'm summoning my spirit guide, Bubba..48 lifetimes ago, you were the very ill ruler of a small isolated village. Due to your importance, everyone in the village cared for you until you died from complications that had arisen from your chronic gout at the age of 36. Now in this lifetime you must pay by being the least sick person around.

Why has the middle finger become so offensive when presented to someone?

[Maark Abbott]

Because it is the one that ze doctoar vill use vhen he sees you now. *snap*

Where have all the limits gone?

[Coco with marshmallows]

Sorry, but that opening demands this answer:



Why did popular musical taste in the 90's go to absolute ****?

[Gust Hubb]

Probably the after affects off all the drug use of the 60s-80s.

Why does my 3 year old ask the same exact question over and over, sequentially...?

[Gnaw]

Gust Hubb, on 24 May 2015 - 11:34 PM, said:

Probably the after affects off all the drug use of the 60s-80s.

Why does my 3 year old ask the same exact question over and over, sequentially...?

Because you're answering. Just tell him/her to go find the answer on the internet and leave Daddy alone with his cold beer.

Why is the sky blue? (Not really. That was just my standard reply on vent when the raid leader did the "any last questions before this fight?". Somebody always answered correctly. I love nerds.)

Why did Blizzard never give us the boss fight that would take 40 Alliance + 40 Horde fighting together to defeat that they promised ten years ago?

[Maark Abbott]

Because THOSE DIRTY BLUES.

Why does no one know who The Bruces were? Warcraft question: if you get it right, you get the points.