Malazan Empire: What's the difference between Hetan, and Dragnpur? - Malazan Empire

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What's the difference between Hetan, and Dragnpur? A Malazan Joke Thread

#21 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 10 July 2010 - 05:06 AM

What did Mael say to the sea demon?

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How does Pust call for a Hound of Shadow?

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What makes Letherii blue steel blades moan?

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Why do Trell have big nostrils?

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What has four legs and one arm?

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Why did the K'Chain Nah'Ruk cross the road?

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THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
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#22 User is offline   Beezulbubba 

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Posted 10 July 2010 - 05:53 PM

Posted Image

#23 User is offline   hmqb 

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 02:41 PM

How did the Malazan Empire get its name?








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This post has been edited by High Mage Quick Ben: 11 July 2010 - 02:43 PM

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#24 User is offline   Tatterdemalion 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 05:02 AM

Slippery Jim's first one is my favorite.

Who's got one arm and a beard?
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Man, I'm a lot worse at these than I would have guessed... :)
Author of Purge of Ashes.
Sayer of "And Nature shall not abide."
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#25 User is offline   Cold Iron 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 09:02 AM

steve has to see some of these. someone tell hetan to make it so
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#26 User is offline   Dolmen 2.0 

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    Waiting till jean gets here.

Posted 13 July 2010 - 11:55 AM

whats black and heavy and if it fell out a tree it would kill you?

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:) I'll keep my dayjob...
“Behind this mask there is more than just flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea... and ideas are bulletproof Gas-Fireproof.”
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#27 User is offline   Slippery Jim 

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Posted 13 July 2010 - 07:26 PM

Why doe the Rhivi keep their herds indoors?

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Jim
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#28 User is offline   Slippery Jim 

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 10:46 AM

I thought of these on the way to work this morning. I may be going mad.

How does Herboric feel about Otateral Island?
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What is Tavore's favourite musical instrument?
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What did the admiral say to Hellian when she looked dubiously at his offered flask of rum?
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What is Bauchelain's favourite item of jewellery?
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Jim
Posted Image

This post has been edited by Slippery Jim: 14 July 2010 - 03:39 PM

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#29 User is offline   Beezulbubba 

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Posted 15 July 2010 - 07:59 PM

What is Kruppe's favorite morning beverage?
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I know.... pretty lame > http://soundfxnow.co...ad-Trombone.mp3

#30 User is offline   TheSurvivor 

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Posted 23 July 2010 - 02:48 AM

View PostD, on 09 July 2010 - 02:50 PM, said:

What kind of food does Korbal Broach enjoy best?
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What did the K'Chain Che'malle call their internet?
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What crappy genre of movies did the Seregahl star in during the early 70s?
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What was Ilgrand Jr.'s punishment for cussing at school?
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Okay, I gotta know, who is Ilgrand Jr? Doesn't ring a bell and I can't find anything on them.
The world needs hypocrites...unfortunate but true.
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#31 User is offline   TheSurvivor 

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Posted 23 July 2010 - 03:42 AM

I can't help it, I need to try my hand here.

What happened to Skinner when Cowl caught him without armour?
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Why did Gruntle avoid Kurald Emurlahn?

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What did the Tiste Liosan say to the Tiste Andii?
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Why did the Tiste Andii hunt Karsa Orlong after Rake’s death?
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What did Anand say to Korbolo Dom after his arrest?
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What does Shurq Elalle say to men she meets?
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Why did Bugg run from Ublala Pung?


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Why did Hellian stay in bed?
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How does Sweetlard get so sweet?
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Was #3 a bit racist? Hmm...no offence intended.
The world needs hypocrites...unfortunate but true.
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#32 User is offline   TheSurvivor 

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Posted 23 July 2010 - 09:41 PM

Seems I've got the fever now...

Why did Kalam cut Quick Ben?
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What do Antsy and Tool have in common?


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Why does Cartheron Crust stay calm in the face of danger?
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What happens when Hellian gets breathless?


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What happens when Iron Bars is at sea?
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What did Shaky say when he met the Shake?
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Why do Fantasy and Science Fiction not mix?
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How come no one shares jokes with Silchas?
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Why did Bottle skip morning practice?
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What do you call a Crimson Guardsman who runs from battle?
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The world needs hypocrites...unfortunate but true.
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#33 User is offline   TheSurvivor 

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Posted 14 August 2010 - 10:54 PM

Lol, seems I killed this thread.
The world needs hypocrites...unfortunate but true.
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#34 User is offline   Angel 

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Posted 15 August 2010 - 10:18 AM

Why did Gesler not punch the Che'Malle he met...


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#35 User is offline   Tatterdemalion 

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Posted 17 August 2010 - 06:08 AM

How is Malazan Series like the video for Basement Jaxx's "Where's Your Head At?"
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What did Silchas Ruin say to Anomander Rake?
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What did Gothos say to Arnold Schwarzenegger?
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How did they know a Trigale Trade Guild wagon had been through Harlem after midnight?
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What did Anomander Rake say to Silchas Ruin?
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Author of Purge of Ashes.
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#36 User is offline   TheSurvivor 

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Posted 19 August 2010 - 07:50 PM

And just like that it LIVES!
The world needs hypocrites...unfortunate but true.
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#37 User is offline   Use Of Weapons 

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Posted 20 August 2010 - 11:00 AM

Q. Why was Mappo bullied at school?
A. He was the Runt of his year.

That's all I got
It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true.
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#38 User is offline   Beezulbubba 

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Posted 20 August 2010 - 02:29 PM

What does Kara Orlong do to relax?
Spoiler

#39 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 20 August 2010 - 09:03 PM

On a related note:

Why does Karsa Orlong exercise regularly?

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"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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#40 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 20 August 2010 - 09:08 PM

And just because it amuses me:

Attached File(s)


"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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