Posted 08 May 2009 - 08:35 PM
“So, we skipped over the deaths of a lot of peasants, and they’re not important, but I want something to be done for the Prince or Rugen or Buttercup, grandpa!”
“OK my boy, we will involve them more. What about some witty dialogue?”
--- the market ---
The Princess Buttercup and her lover Westley were strolling over the market, trying to blend into the crowd, which was tough, given that they lacked a sufficient downtrodden, dirty, warty, uneducated and imperfect look.
“Westley, my love, why do we go out in broad daylight? Aren’t we supposed to hide?”
“Well, you see, Dread Pirate Roberts, or rather, the Dread Pirate before I became the Dread Pirate, taught me to always do what your opponent does not expect you to do. So, here we are, outside, enjoying the air and, quite frankly, I am enjoying the air. Although I must say that those rotting bodies nailed to the palace doors are somewhat disturbing and certainly not lending a reinvigorating touch to the breeze.”
“But what about all these guards standing around? Don’t we stand out?”
“Nonsense, my love. Why would we stand out?”
“Well, I have perfect breasts, and there is a shortage of those in the world…”
“I’m quite sure no-one is watching them, dear.” He looked around. “I may have to correct that, actually. Everyone is watching, nay, staring at your cleavage. Oh well, that at the least draws attention away from the fact that we are strolling here, enemies of the state and all…”
--- A tower in the palace ---
“What, Vizzini, are you up to with that looking glass?”
“I have a feeling that your arch enemies will pop up, my good Prince Humperdinck, especially that man Westley. I expect him to hide in the public, so to speak. My analysis of the man tells me that he will always try to do the unexpected, so I in fact expect them to appear in public, for that man in black is that kind of man, one could say, he is even coasting through the game.”
“Game?” the Prince asked, a frown creasing his forehead. “This is a matter of state!”
“Oh yes, a game, my lord. You see, only when every consideration is taken into account, including the idiotic ones, can one predict the opponent. But in serious business, no-one will entertain the idiotic, for it is, after all, idiocy. So, one must turn this into a game and only then can one confidently examine every option, and often, the idiotic move seems to be the best move .”
He peered through the looking glass again.
“Ah, see my prince? A wood carving, there, on the second post of the stage of your crowning.”
“Let me see,” the Prince said, snatching the looking glass away. “It is just gibberish.”
“That’s because it is a code. You see, if you put all the letters in a row, then hustle them according to a certain pattern, reshuffle them, add a code, remove punctuation and turn it all upside down, it clearly says: Westley <3 Buttercup.”
“Westley Less then three Buttercup?”
“Either it refers to the fact that she has two, albeit it perfect ones, instead of three breasts, or more likely, it is a crude sailor’s reference to a heart.”
“Well, go out and find them!”
“I’m sure they won’t be that public anymore, Your Majesty, but we can string a peasant up, and then search at night for them, daggers in hand.”
“So be it. In fact, let those beggars down there choose amongst themselves who to hang…”
Ruse (Shinrei) is dead, he was inno
Only someone with this much power could make this many frittatas without breaking any eggs.