Malazan Empire: Ye Big Movie thread - Malazan Empire

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Ye Big Movie thread

#8921 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 07 June 2017 - 09:47 PM

Watched a bunch of popcorn flicks:

Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates -- it's on the same wavelength as Wedding Crashers (which it name checks), so kinda funny kinda annoying/dumb. It's the R-rated version of the kinda thing you might watch on TBS at 2pm on a lazy Saturday.

Neighbors 2 -- better than I expected, but still not great. The first half is actually pretty good, on par w/ the first movie, but the second half runs out of steam. As far as unnecessary sequels to pretty good comedies go, it's definitely unnecessary, but I still ain't mad at it.

Storks -- liked it. Very goofball w/ a little heart but not fake sap like you get at the end of, say, Adam Sandler's movies. It's a weird premise executed with zany aplomb.

Trolls (yah, the one about the toys) -- I don't even know if good and bad apply here. It was grotesque and cutesy in equal measure, and while it did have a few arbitrary pop hits thrown in (September by Earth Wind & Fire especially made no sense, given the fantasy setting), the original songs are actually pretty good. The whole thing is nuts, and it's like eating one of those giant Pixy Stix you get at 7-11 in one go.
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#8922 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 08 June 2017 - 01:49 AM

We must have watched a different version of Wedding Crashers. The one I watched is hilarious and endlessly quotable. Mike and Dave is an annoying dumpster fire with very few chuckles.

I should let you borrow my version.

Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.
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#8923 User is offline   Thirteen 

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Posted 08 June 2017 - 09:06 AM

View PostSeduce Goose, on 07 June 2017 - 08:26 PM, said:

Anyway, I watched Simon Pegg's "The Worlds End" earlier. Really liked it. I think that the two halves of the film don't really compliment each other that well but I think they saved it at the end. I think I would have enjoyed it more if it had just been all about that night on the town and not what the film turned into but it was a fun twist.

Simon Pegg has turned out to be a surprisingly good and versatile actor during the past decade or so.


I have been a big fan of Pegg/Wright/Frost combo since Spaced. So I personally didn't mind a bub-crawl turning into a sci-fi/action/parody since it ties in nicely with the themes explored in previous Cornetto trilogy movies, which I also greatly enjoyed.
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#8924 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 08 June 2017 - 07:24 PM

^^^Wedding Crashers is better than Mike & Dave, sure, but in the sense that one is okay and the other is less okay (imo).

Kubo and the Two Strings -- friggin awesome. And just when I started to think the finale might be a letdown (a little bit of easy speechifying) it shifted gears into something really unexpected and beautiful.
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#8925 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 08 June 2017 - 08:00 PM

Watched the first third or so of Life earlier. Had to stop. That alien was too fucking scary. One thing is a big old xenomorph, that thing you know what is up to. No, the Martian Alien is far too smart and horrific for me to sit through that.
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#8926 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 09 June 2017 - 01:35 PM

Danny Glover and Mel Gibson reunite for a tribute to Richard Donner.



The chemistry between those two is amazing. I realize now that half the scenes in Lethal Weapons was just the two of them vibing off one another.

I sort of wish somebody would write some script for those two where they're just sitting on a porch, as retired old cops, drinking beer, grilling, laughing at people passing by.

This post has been edited by Seduce Goose: 09 June 2017 - 01:36 PM

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#8927 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 09 June 2017 - 01:42 PM

View PostSeduce Goose, on 09 June 2017 - 01:35 PM, said:

I sort of wish somebody would write some script for those two where they're just sitting on a porch, as retired old cops, drinking beer, grilling, laughing at people passing by.


I would watch this. I would SO watch this.
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#8928 User is offline   Silencer 

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 05:44 AM

Gran Torino is great. Loved that film.
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#8929 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 09:42 AM



I don't know if I should think this is stupid or incredibly stupid. All I know is I'm definitely going to watch it!
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#8930 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 10:28 AM

Boy that is a terrible trailer. You know the film is going to be bad when the advertisement is worse.

When the soldier falls over in the start, the impact sounds like it's a car chasis being dropped inside parking garage.

The narrator is asking questions that makes no sense. He's a soldier. He knows who sent him and he knows why is there.

What the hell is up with that final second. Is he saying a name or something?

The related youtube videos link to another animated Starship Troopers film called Invasion. It looks terrible. This is in game Japanese RPG levels of quality

This post has been edited by Seduce Goose: 11 June 2017 - 10:31 AM

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#8931 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 10:40 AM

View PostSeduce Goose, on 11 June 2017 - 10:28 AM, said:

Boy that is a terrible trailer. You know the film is going to be bad when the advertisement is worse.

When the soldier falls over in the start, the impact sounds like it's a car chasis being dropped inside parking garage.

The narrator is asking questions that makes no sense. He's a soldier. He knows who sent him and he knows why is there.

What the hell is up with that final second. Is he saying a name or something?

The related youtube videos link to another animated Starship Troopers film called Invasion. It looks terrible. This is in game Japanese RPG levels of quality


Starship Troopers: Invasion is actually a pretty damn solid movie. If you take it for what it is. It's certainly not award material, but it's good fun, with decent animations and voice acting.
And it is most certainly better than ANYTHING that came after the first Starship Trooper movie in the same franchise.
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#8932 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 01:23 PM

Just watched The Fate of the Furious.

Beyond the dumb premise the film is based on, this is a great action film. I'd go so far as to say it's almost as good as the 5th but the films as they are now is a different animal.

I still don't know how we're supposed to believe "The Family" would work together with Jason Stratham's character, after he killed or was responsible for the death of 2 or 3 of their number. It's just silly.

But during the first quarter of the film, if you chose to ignore the premise, it's a really fun ride.

I'm curious how to see how the manage to raise the stakes further in the 9th and 10th films.
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#8933 User is offline   Morgoth 

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Posted 12 June 2017 - 08:45 AM

View PostSeduce Goose, on 11 June 2017 - 01:23 PM, said:

Just watched The Fate of the Furious.

Beyond the dumb premise the film is based on, this is a great action film. I'd go so far as to say it's almost as good as the 5th but the films as they are now is a different animal.

I still don't know how we're supposed to believe "The Family" would work together with Jason Stratham's character, after he killed or was responsible for the death of 2 or 3 of their number. It's just silly.

But during the first quarter of the film, if you chose to ignore the premise, it's a really fun ride.

I'm curious how to see how the manage to raise the stakes further in the 9th and 10th films.


It was all worth it for Statham's baysitting/fight on the plane.
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#8934 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 12 June 2017 - 12:14 PM

Finally got to see the live-action remake of BEAUTY & THE BEAST. It's a no-brainer I was going to like this as B&TB is my fave of the Disney Animated movies, but I was surprised at just how much. It's decidedly well done, and even the added songs/musical numbers (which didn't exist in the animated version) not only sound great (usually I dislike added "new" musical numbers to older musicals; See: LES MIS movie) but also fittingly belonged in the scenes they were presented in. I think especially the one that the Beast sings after he releases Belle to go help her father.

I'm also pleased that they did as best they could to remove the whole "Stockholm Syndrome" idea from the narrative...which is to say, they can't remove it all, but they do make it a lot less plain and far more complex here. I also loved that Belle was given a lot of agency here, from her tinkering like her father with inventions, to helping a young girl to learn to read, down to the multiple attempts to escape, one of which was inserted in place of the scene in the animated version where she just weeps at her predicament....in this Watson's Belle uses the bed curtains to fashion a rope to descend from the high window.

All in all a great film, and well worth all the praise it received upon release.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 12 June 2017 - 12:16 PM

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#8935 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 12:53 PM

I watched the new VACATION last night.

Sidebar: I like the first VACATION well enough...I LOVE EUROPEAN VACATION, and love CHRISTMAS VACATION (obvs), and thought VEGAS VACATION was weak sauce.

I'd heard this new one was really bad. Like unfunny bad.

But I'll admit that while it wasn't even a shadow of the previous films, and is not a rip-roaring good time...I laughed out loud more than I thought I would.

A few comments.

- Casting Leslie Mann as adult Audrey, was a good idea as she really feels like a grown up version of Juliette Lewis and how she might act.
- Did they REALLY make Chris Hemsworth into a hot version of Cousin Eddie? I think they did. There are scenes where he is basically aping Randy Quaid's performance. Which was....weird.
- Beverly D'Angelo (who I always had a crush on as a youth), still looks smoking hot at 65. Meanwhile, Chevy Chase has aged BADLY even since his COMMUNITY days.
- A lot of the jokes are hokey, and poorly executed....but there is a lot of humour that really hit the mark for me and made me laugh.
- There is a weird moment where Ed Helms Rusty is scrolling through his family vacation photos and you see all the old family photos with all the actors who have played Rusty and Audrey over the years....as if they are all him. It's....weird.

That said, had I been casting this movie, I would have grabbed the existing most well known Rusty (either Jason Lively, or Johnny Galecki), and Juliette Lewis as Audrey for the leads. I feel like that would have gone a long way to making this film work more. Which sounds odd as it's just casting, but Ed Helms honest/altruistic portrayal of Rutsy doesn't FEEL like adult version of the Rusty we grew up with. In fact they try to make him a version of Chevy's Clark, and fail at it... And while Leslie Mann does her best Audrey impression....why not just get Juliette Lewis?
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#8936 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 01:20 PM

View PostSeduce Goose, on 11 June 2017 - 01:23 PM, said:

Just watched The Fate of the Furious.
...
I'm curious how to see how the manage to raise the stakes further in the 9th and 10th films.


The vehicles will transform into robots.
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#8937 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 01:57 PM

View PostAbyss, on 16 June 2017 - 01:20 PM, said:

View PostSeduce Goose, on 11 June 2017 - 01:23 PM, said:

Just watched The Fate of the Furious.
...
I'm curious how to see how the manage to raise the stakes further in the 9th and 10th films.


The vehicles will transform into robots.


You joke. I would ABSOLUTELY be there opening day for a TF/F&F crossover film.

I would imagine Vin Diesel would learn how to eject out of a transforming car in mid-transform and double flip to land in a Superman fist to the ground.

Crossing those universes would be. Awesome.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

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#8938 User is offline   polishgenius 

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 03:20 PM

I want to see a Fast and Furious/Blacklist crossover. Reddington would totally fit in with the spy direction the films have taken now.
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#8939 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 03:45 PM

Please, it's all about the F&F/LOTR crossover that is bound to be announced any day now...
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#8940 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 04:03 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 16 June 2017 - 01:57 PM, said:

View PostAbyss, on 16 June 2017 - 01:20 PM, said:

View PostSeduce Goose, on 11 June 2017 - 01:23 PM, said:

Just watched The Fate of the Furious.
...
I'm curious how to see how the manage to raise the stakes further in the 9th and 10th films.


The vehicles will transform into robots.


You joke. I would ABSOLUTELY be there opening day for a TF/F&F crossover film.

I would imagine Vin Diesel would learn how to eject out of a transforming car in mid-transform and double flip to land in a Superman fist to the ground.

Crossing those universes would be. Awesome.


I haven't seen a chunk of the movies in either franchise, and i would still go see this.


Tho an F&F sent in MAD MAX continuity - MAD MAX: THE FAST & FURY ROAD - would be gold.
GOLD.


...huh... The Fast Fast & Furiouser Road...?
...Fast & Furiestiest...
...Madder, Faster, Furiouser....


Relatedly, i still wish we had gotten this....

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