Malazan Empire: Tehol Breaks A Leg - Malazan Empire

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Tehol Breaks A Leg Don't try this at home!

#1 User is offline   teholbeddict 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:03 PM

Well I had a lovely start to my weekend! I hit my snooze button one too many times this morning and was in a mad dash to get out of my house, wanting to make it to Starbucks for my daily coffee before heading into the office. It was around 6:30 in the morning when I finally rushed out my front door, all my usual baggage in hand, ran down my front steps and promptly hit a patch of ice I’d failed to notice in my haste. The results were rather odd…one leg stayed planted while twisting in a way I didn’t even think was humanly possible, while the rest of me continued to fly forward. It seemed I was flying, forward, falling backward, and doing the twist all at the same time. There was this odd kind of popping crunching sound and the next thing I knew I was in a heap with my leg sticking out an add angle. I think I was in shock because I just kind of sat there looking at it, thinking that can’t be my leg. I tried to get up which was a big mistake! The pain jolted me back to reality and I realized it was indeed my leg! So I tried shouting for help, of course no one was around. I’ve got to have the world’s most nosey neighbours! Normally I can’t even check the mail without them peering through their windows at me. Not this morning though! I swear there was no one around for miles! I decided I was going to have to call for an ambulance. By this time I’m freezing and crying and in considerable pain. :p My phone was in my purse about a foot away from me, conveniently out of reach. I had to drag myself over what must have been the world longest foot to get my phone. I must say the 911 operator was wonderful and managed to understand my entire garbled sobbing tale, stayed on the phone with me until the paramedics arrived. Only took 10 minutes for the paramedics to get there, the sound of the sirens and flashing lights managed to get entire street out of bed and gawking at me. Anyways I didn’t have too long a wait at the hospital; x-rays confirmed I had indeed managed to break my tibia. Thankfully it’s a clean break so no surgery required. They gave me a nice cocktail of meds to keep me comfortable and proceeded to put me in a long cast that covers my ankle and comes up past my knee. They also issued me a set of crutches which are way too big, (I’m short and they didn’t have any in my size) so I’ll have to get another set as I’ll be non-weight bearing for weeks. I’m now at home propped up on pillows woozy with my leg stuck out in front of me cursing my snooze button, Starbucks, ice, winter, my stupidity and life in general. :p Damn Starbucks and their macchiatos! I think I may swear off Starbucks forever after this!
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#2 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:06 PM

Great googa wooga! That's terrible! :p





I told you the pants were plotting something.
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#3 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:07 PM

Hmmm good solid plan for coping...add blaming brood to that list my dear Tehol!

Get well soon!

I hope you like daytime TV!
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#4 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:08 PM

Whoah, you broke your thigh bone just like that? I know girls are supposed to be frail but managing to break your thighbone with nothing but your own momentum is an awesome feat. You go girl!
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#5 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:08 PM

That sucks big time tehol, but you can still do the cooking right? :p

I joke, for once I'll drop the caveman and be nice, I really hope you make a full recovery in the, or quicker than designated time, Its a clean break but sometimes there can be issues.
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#6 User is offline   Sparkimus 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:09 PM

Wow!!!! Sorry pumpkin, enjoy the meds though, just don't get hooked :p

QUOTE (Stalker @ Jan 23 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So last night I was walking downtown for some pizza at like 1am with some friends of mine,
and someone said, "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole pizza."

I said, "I bet I could eat 100 pizzas," and no one understood me. I was sad.
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#7 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:10 PM

Did they give you morphine? I got that during my appendicitis. It was fucked up. I couldn't feel my hands and was freaked out by them. I kept waving in front of my face and yelling "Whose hands are those!"
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#8 User is offline   Mentalist 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:11 PM

jeez, wow, sorry to hear that TB.

Hope it heals well and fast.

@Apt: if a cast goes from ancle to knee, how could it be a thight bone?
not to mention that femur breaks are like the most dangerous injury you could have (next to spinal cord)
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View PostJump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
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#9 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:12 PM

Wow! Just wow! I thought I was good at accidents. You have my sympathies Tehol. Hope you don't get too bored at home once the initial craziness has worn off.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#10 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:14 PM

Shit.

That sucks. Those isolated ice patches are damn treacherous.
I hope that you get well soon, or at least out of pain and to passable mobility so that you can at least take advantage of the time off as much as you can to get some positive out of this.
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RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
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#11 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:17 PM

She has us to help her from getting bored..right! Er...so that should last half a day, OMG you're in trouble Tehol! I recommend fast food all the cable channels and a gigolo to keep you amused...

Whats this I found in my pocket...

Oooh look it says: "Frookenhauer, Gigolo at your service, clean breaks welcome!"

I'm here for ya Tehol :p
souls are for wimps
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#12 User is offline   Sparkimus 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:19 PM

I hate to say this dear, buuuuuuut.....you know there's no ice patches in the south :p

QUOTE (Stalker @ Jan 23 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So last night I was walking downtown for some pizza at like 1am with some friends of mine,
and someone said, "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole pizza."

I said, "I bet I could eat 100 pizzas," and no one understood me. I was sad.
0

#13 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:19 PM

Wow, that really sucks, Tehol. Guess it's time to take it easy and get hopped up on pain meds for a bit.

Wow! What a shitty way to start the day. You have my sympathy. Hope you get back on your feet nice and quick!
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#14 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:19 PM

View PostMentalist, on Mar 20 2009, 07:11 PM, said:

jeez, wow, sorry to hear that TB.

Hope it heals well and fast.

@Apt: if a cast goes from ancle to knee, how could it be a thight bone?
not to mention that femur breaks are like the most dangerous injury you could have (next to spinal cord)


Oh right. I had femur and tibia mixed up in my head, I'm ashamed of myself, after watching every single episode of Chicago Hope, E.R. and House I really should know the difference...
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#15 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:20 PM

View PostFrookenhauer, on Mar 20 2009, 02:17 PM, said:

She has us to help her from getting bored..right! Er...so that should last half a day, OMG you're in trouble Tehol! I recommend fast food all the cable channels and a gigolo to keep you amused...

Whats this I found in my pocket...

Oooh look it says: "Frookenhauer, Gigolo at your service, clean breaks welcome!"

I'm here for ya Tehol :p




Smooth...
The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

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Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
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#16 User is offline   Stalker 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:21 PM

Poor Tehol. Sorry to hear it.

I'd make a no ice here joke, but don't want to provoke some wrath.
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#17 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:21 PM

:p

Been taking lessons...Practice baby practice! :p
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#18 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:23 PM

It's all fun and games untill someone breaks a leg... Then it becomes an amusing thread on the Malazan Forums.
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#19 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:24 PM

I hope the meds are doing their job and keeping you nice and sedated, Tehol. Any idea how long you are going to be out of the work place?
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#20 User is offline   teholbeddict 

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 06:31 PM

View PostAptorian, on Mar 20 2009, 01:08 PM, said:

Whoah, you broke your thigh bone just like that? I know girls are supposed to be frail but managing to break your thighbone with nothing but your own momentum is an awesome feat. You go girl!



No not my thigh, the tibia, that's the shin bone, the one that connect the knee and the ankle. My break is about half way up.


@Rodeo yes they gave me a small dose of liquid morphine, which had me saying funny things and seeing things for a while. They've sent me home with a prescription for some other pain killers. I haven't even checked what they've given me as I'm not very mobile at the moment.
Procrastination is like masturbation, you're only F ing yourself...
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Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
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The only thing one can learn from one's past mistakes is how to repeat them exactly.
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Muffins are just ugly cupcakes!
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