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Merchazan Yes this is based on an actual conversation

#21 Dutch

Bridgeburner

Group: Team Quick Ben
Posts: 371
Joined: 19-October 08
Location:The Netherlands
Interests:Malazan Book of the Fallen, American Football, Quick Ben

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:44 PM

beru, on Mar 13 2009, 09:23 PM, said:

here is those form the abyssmal army
[qoute]
Abyss' Malazan Bumper Stickers:

Honk if you're Andii.
This vehicle is driven by a soletaken and may veer suddenly.
My other car is Moon's Spawn.
Warning: Student D'ivers.
I [heart] my T'lan Ay.
Laseen for President! 400 more years!
Cusser on board.
This car went on the Chain of Dogs.
Jesus saves, but Trake kicks a$$.
Tiste Edur got it made in the shade.
I'm loading my spring-fired armless hand-held crossbow with an alchemical impact detonated bolt. Please keep honking.
My parents went to the Nascent and all I got was this lousy sticker.
I may be driving slow, but I'm a Thelomen Toblakai and I'm in front of you.
I may be driving slow, but I'm a Trell and I'm in front of you and I'll eat you don't back off.
Icarium for President! 400 more ARGH!!!
Malaz Island U Assassination Team.
How's my driving? Dial 1-800-THE-CLAW.
Fenn have more blondes.
Fisher 3:15.
Support your local Nameless Ones.

Malazan Bumper stickers added by other forumites...

My other horse is a Paran!
Coltaine died for our sins?
Pust Pest Control
Hey give me a break, I'm Blind
'who ya gonna call?........ BRIDGEBURNERS
Reward offered for lost dog, answers to the name Pallick
Souls inside
Hunting is natural. Even K'Chain Che'Malle hunt
a hound is for eternity.... not just for christmas
Yes I'm driving this car, my wife borrowed my warren.
I brake for Azalean demons.
This car is fueled by Tellan, it keeps running!
The Lord of Darkness is with me! I've got Rake in the trunk!
If you can read this then the Mhybe fell off
Nobody knows I'm Jaghut
A real Jaghut wouldn't stare at my stickers.
Mappo Farted, and we Can't get out!!
I'm looking for the right Barghast to run over.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts belong to the Crippled God
Please do not honk. Driver trying to conjure a warren
Watch out for the K'Chain Che'Malle behind me.
A day without sunshine is like… Kurald Galain.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a hammer.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a T'Lan Imass
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle warrens.
Chaos. War. The Chain of Dogs. My work here is done
Can't sleep. Spiders will get me. Can't sleep…
I said "no" to Oponn, but they just wouldn't listen.
Anarchy is better than the warren of Chaos.
Hood's Path is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
This vehicle is sponsored by Burn. Do not disturb.</SPAN>
Jaghut are Cool
Apsalar Was Imass
This Car is Powered by Tiam Juice.
[/qoute]

Í laughed my a**e off while reading these (Used to ** to keep it civil)

I'm not really keen on bumperstickers, but I wouldn't some with these texts on it.

Thinking of some others.

Beware!!!! Cussers onboard.
If you can read this, Apt will bite you
A sticker looking like some beast bit a large chunk out of your car with the text "Aptorian was here" (or any of the other large Demons, Soletaken etc.)
A delivery car for a bakery\pastries with a sticker on it, Kruppe's Delight.

Ofcourse these are inside jokes for us Malazans

Sappers have a saying, he muttered. "Wide eyed stupid"

#22 Obdigore

ThunderBear

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 6,165
Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:47 PM

I want to brew

'Quorls Milk'

Both male and female, in different colors.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#23 Macros

D'ivers Fuckwits

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 9,141
Joined: 28-January 08
Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:47 PM

mott sticky cakes or whatever they're called.

2012
"Imperial Gothos, Imperial"

#24 RodeoRanch

The Midnight Special

Group: Administrators
Posts: 5,811
Joined: 01-January 03
Location:Alberta, Canada

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:51 PM

Macros, on Mar 13 2009, 01:53 PM, said:

underpants bearing a picture of rodeo giving the thumbs up

I'm not sure I'm ready for geeks worldwide to have my face on their underpants.

Oh who am I kidding. That would be fucking awesome.

#25 Macros

D'ivers Fuckwits

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 9,141
Joined: 28-January 08
Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:52 PM

ladies the world over will swoon!

2012
"Imperial Gothos, Imperial"

#26 Obdigore

ThunderBear

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 6,165
Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 13 March 2009 - 08:52 PM

Macros, on Mar 13 2009, 03:52 PM, said:

cougars the world over will swoon!

Fixed.

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#27 Slow Ben

Ranger

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 4,788
Joined: 29-September 08
Location:Southern Illinois

Posted 13 March 2009 - 09:05 PM

I'm sure Cougar would love that.

I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.

#28 Obdigore

ThunderBear

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 6,165
Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 13 March 2009 - 09:08 PM

I think some

ZAAAAAANNNTH!!!!!! underwear would be hilarious.

A black hoodie with a rope on the front lying on the ground with a little blood on it... noone would have any clue what it is but malazanites...

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#29 HoosierDaddy

Believer

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 8,049
Joined: 30-June 08
Location:Indianapolis
Interests:Football

Posted 13 March 2009 - 09:10 PM

Obdigore, on Mar 13 2009, 05:08 PM, said:

Might confuse some S & M'ers though.

Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....

#30 Obdigore

ThunderBear

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 6,165
Joined: 22-June 06

Posted 13 March 2009 - 09:11 PM

HoosierDaddy, on Mar 13 2009, 04:10 PM, said:

Obdigore, on Mar 13 2009, 05:08 PM, said:

Might confuse some S & M'ers though.

S&Mers and Malazaniters are the exact same demographic.

amirite?

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#31 Shinrei

charin charin

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 2,601
Joined: 20-February 03

Posted 13 March 2009 - 10:27 PM

Personally, I would buy a t-shirt that had nothing on it other than RR's grizzled cowboy avatar.

You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.

#32 frookenhauer

Mortal Sword

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 1,113
Joined: 11-July 08
Location:England
Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing

Posted 13 March 2009 - 10:30 PM

For rodeo!

I don't do pants!

souls are for wimps

#33 Shinrei

charin charin

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 2,601
Joined: 20-February 03

Posted 13 March 2009 - 10:53 PM

I sense a new fashion brand due out!

RodeoWear!

You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.

#34 Illuyankas

Retro Classic

Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
Posts: 7,254
Joined: 28-September 04
Will cluck you up

Posted 13 March 2009 - 11:31 PM

Stylish and economical! Also with built-in air conditioning.

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.

#35 Ain't_It_Just_

The Recidivist

Group: LHTEC
Posts: 2,371
Joined: 17-January 08
Location:Oz
Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
The AIJman cometh

Posted 15 March 2009 - 10:26 AM

How about a Seguleh mask sticker that says "if You Can Read This, Prepare To Be Annihilated"?
And my own personal fave,

THE BOT IS IN

Suck it Errant!

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.

#36 Grimjust Bearegular

Irregular Bacon Berserker Medic of the Abyssmal Army

Group: Malazan Artist
Posts: 1,638
Joined: 20-July 06
Location:Vault 101
Interests:MAFIA, drawing and writing.
Godless killing machine - and proud of it!

Also, braaaaiiiinnnnzzzzzzzz!

Posted 16 March 2009 - 09:25 AM

alt146, on Mar 13 2009, 09:17 PM, said:

or if you're feeling risque a pair of panties with the slogan

I shall call it tufty

OMG,LOL,WANT!!

Things and stuffs...and other important objects.

#37 cauthon

Geek in progress

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 603
Joined: 17-July 02
Location:Here
Interests:photography, fantasy
.6180339887

Posted 16 March 2009 - 10:02 PM

Maybe we just need a Malazan shop at cafepress? And preferably something in Europe too, unless the European people (like me) do not mind paying import taxes. I guess anything remotely official would need SE's approval. Profits go to the site fund.

Pictures
Rants

#38 Cold Iron

I'll have some lasagna

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 2,026
Joined: 18-January 06

Posted 16 March 2009 - 10:48 PM

Ok can we all get a t-shirt with jenny's av on it please?

#39 masan's saddle

Emperor

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 979
Joined: 17-February 09
Location:masan's horse

Posted 16 March 2009 - 11:42 PM

Another idea for a bumper sticker,

" How's my driving ? Call 1-800 Trygalle Trade Guild."

Some of the artwork on the gallery would make fantastic posters and if somebody with the necessary talent ( not me !) were to knock up a Malazan Marine recruitment poster..... a bit like Uncle Sam " your country needs you ".

Trying to think, who the Empire would use for a recruitment drive ?

Braven Tooth ? or maybe Masan........., where do I sign. :sabre:

Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.