Malazan Empire: The Big Thread of Lurve - Malazan Empire

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The Big Thread of Lurve Because it's that time of year again

#41 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 14 February 2009 - 06:21 PM

Hah! Good stuff, Rodeo.
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#42 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 14 February 2009 - 06:22 PM

Roses are red
Violets are purple
Your as sweet
As maple syrple


I wrote that myself...sadly.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#43 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 14 February 2009 - 06:48 PM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Syphilis is white
You should see a doctor
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#44 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 14 February 2009 - 06:55 PM

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks. It is the east and...Oh shit, its your Dad!

This post has been edited by Bent: 14 February 2009 - 06:56 PM

THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
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#45 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 14 February 2009 - 06:59 PM

Roses are red
Violets are dead
I want one thing from you
Good head.
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#46 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 04:39 AM

I spent Valentinian's evening sitting alone in a bar watching a re-run of Sheffield Utd vs Hull in the FA Cup. Could be a new low. I need company!!!!
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#47 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 04:43 AM

What is this Valentinian you speak of?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
She said that she came
So it must be true.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#48 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 05:02 AM

Roses Are red
Violets are blue
It puts the lotion on its skin
Or it gets the hose again
Error: Signature not valid
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#49 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 05:06 AM

Lol. Lovely, RLY.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
As will the bruises on your face
Once I'm done with you.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#50 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 05:21 AM

View PostRaymond Luxury Yacht, on Feb 15 2009, 03:02 PM, said:

Roses Are red
Violets are blue
It puts the lotion on its skin
Or it gets the hose again


Pure gold. :p

In other news, some people really know how to appeal in a different way ...

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http://www.news.com.au/business/money/stor...5013951,00.html

Rental crisis sees online advertisements offer free rooms in exchange for sex

By Lisa Mayoh

The Sunday Telegraph

February 15, 2009 12:01am

Taking advantage ... zero-rent ads are targeting desperate women looking for somewhere to live / file

* Ads offer free rooms in exchange for sex
* Despite complaints, ads allowed to remain
* "Ads would go underground" if banned

SLEAZY men are taking advantage of Sydney's rental crisis by placing online advertisements offering women free rooms in exchange for sex.

The zero-rent ads, targeting desperate women looking for somewhere to live, are becoming increasingly common on popular "share house'' rental websites.

Although there have been numerous complaints about the ads, which some website users have dubbed "offensive'', they do not breach policy guidelines for sites such as flatmates.com.au

A statement on flatmates.com.au says that if the site were to impose a ban, the ads would merely go underground, making the process unsafe for women.

One advertisement offering free rent for a female to "share a room'' was placed by a 32-year-old Auburn man calling himself Atiq.

Atiq told The Sunday Telegraph he was looking for a relationship with a woman in a "clean'' one-bedroom unit.
Related Coverage

"Yes, I am alone and the rent would be free. I am looking for a girl to share my room and, yes, in the same bed,'' he said.

Atiq said he had migrated from Pakistan eight months ago and that a friend had placed the ad for him.

"I'm not that kind of person,'' he said. "But, yes, it would possibly involve sex.''

Atiq said a number of women had responded to the ad but he had not yet found anyone suitable.
A similar ad on flatmates.com.au read: "$0 to share flat, wanted flatmate/girlfriend to share unit in Griffith, ACT.

"Free accommodation in exchange for relationship.''

Another ad, for a Melbourne townhouse, offered "free rent for someone special: instead of rent, I am looking for someone to help me with certain needs/requirements on a regular basis''.

After complaints, flatmates.com.au issued a statement on why it continued to run such ads.

"Sometimes, it's pretty clear it's for sex,'' the statement said.

"Yes - there is a rental crisis. We have had a few complaints about these ads.

"Our policy is to let them stay, on the basis it's better for these ads to be upfront with what they are offering than disguise the offer.''

Gumtrees.com.au did not respond to The Sunday Telegraph's inquiries.

Flatmates.com.au is Australia's biggest free "share house'' website. Most of its users are aged between 18 and 29.

-----

Romantic, no? In a Pepe le Pew kind of way maybe.

EDIT: check out some of the readers comments.

Cheers,

La Sombra, une skunk le pew

This post has been edited by Sombra: 15 February 2009 - 05:32 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#51 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 09:25 AM

Well, considering we have strip clubs, nude beaches and Sexpo, it was only a matter of time...God Bless Australia!
Suck it Errant!


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#52 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 15 February 2009 - 05:17 PM

So I left my car and house keys in the strip club. Which doesn't open until 8 pm. It was a skankily good time and a fitting end to the Day of Lurve.

View PostMezla PigDog, on Feb 14 2009, 11:39 PM, said:

I spent Valentinian's evening sitting alone in a bar watching a re-run of Sheffield Utd vs Hull in the FA Cup. Could be a new low. I need company!!!!

With a shirt like this, you'll never lack for company (one of only two pictures I have of this night).

Attached File(s)


This post has been edited by amphibian: 15 February 2009 - 05:19 PM

I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
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#53 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 01:22 AM

Hah! Great shirt, Amphimbian! Was the strip club full nude...can't serve drinks where the cooch is on display. Stupid rules.

Nice looking ladies you have there.
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#54 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 02:36 AM

View PostSlum Diggler, on Feb 15 2009, 08:22 PM, said:

Hah! Great shirt, Amphimbian! Was the strip club full nude...can't serve drinks where the cooch is on display. Stupid rules.

The club served booze. The lap dances were undies on and only the tops came off during the stage performances. Actually, my group had a wee bit of trouble with touching and the dancers themselves had some difficulty being strict about the line themselves (lotta girls in our group; strippers really like that kind of group composition).

There was a six foot plus pudgy Russian-looking blonde dancer with a giant AK-47 tattooed on her rib cage. Yeh, it wasn't pretty.
I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
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#55 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 02:59 AM

Nothing says romance like ex-KGB strippers and nipple sucking.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#56 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 03:02 AM

Reminder of the forum rules and self-moderation chaps!
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#57 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 03:13 AM

Posted Image

you're nicked!
souls are for wimps
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#58 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 03:14 AM

View PostMezla PigDog, on Feb 15 2009, 10:02 PM, said:

Reminder of the forum rules and self-moderation chaps!



Oops, my bad. Sorry.
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#59 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 03:20 AM

Good work slum. that's exactly what she had in mind.
souls are for wimps
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#60 User is offline   Slum 

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Posted 16 February 2009 - 03:25 AM

Hey, the post went from R-rated to PG-13. Give me some credit.
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