Malazan Empire: I have been misleading you - Malazan Empire

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I have been misleading you

#41 User is offline   Terez 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 08:30 AM

You should try thinking about stuff. You know, so you'll have something to tell her.

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
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#42 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 08:36 AM

I guess you could do that...as well...
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QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#43 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 09:12 AM

"I'm sorry Liz I've been misleading you, all my talk of keeping in touch and penny farthing accidents was just a dead herring, in common with almost all men I am pathologically inacapable of forming stable platonic relationships with any woman without at least in some small part fancying them; up until today I had, like many of my bretheren been lying to myself about the real agenda of my seemingly random communication. You see after 2 years in a stable relationship, my monkey genes are calling again and I thought it would be fun to see if I've still got game.

Having taken your innocent interest, concern for my wellbeing and intelligent conversation as an implied consent to ball gag you and ride you round the sitting room like a Thai whore I am now stricken with guilt."

My guess would be that this was written in the 2 minute period of bliss every man has just after the vinegar strokes which is the only time that 'the boss' (no, not Bruce Springsteen) doesn't make or at least cloud all of your decisions.

Hope this helps.
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#44 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 09:14 AM

*Applause*

Well done, sir. Well done.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#45 User is offline   Terez 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 10:04 AM

That's not any more "simple" than (nor very different from) my suggestion! hmph...

This post has been edited by Terez: 05 February 2009 - 10:04 AM

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
0

#46 User is offline   Grimjust Bearegular 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 12:03 PM

View PostCougar, on Feb 5 2009, 10:12 AM, said:

"I'm sorry Liz I've been misleading you, all my talk of keeping in touch and penny farthing accidents was just a dead herring, in common with almost all men I am pathologically inacapable of forming stable platonic relationships with any woman without at least in some small part fancying them; up until today I had, like many of my bretheren been lying to myself about the real agenda of my seemingly random communication. You see after 2 years in a stable relationship, my monkey genes are calling again and I thought it would be fun to see if I've still got game.

Having taken your innocent interest, concern for my wellbeing and intelligent conversation as an implied consent to ball gag you and ride you round the sitting room like a Thai whore I am now stricken with guilt."

My guess would be that this was written in the 2 minute period of bliss every man has just after the vinegar strokes which is the only time that 'the boss' (no, not Bruce Springsteen) doesn't make or at least cloud all of your decisions.

Hope this helps.



I vote for this one!

:p
Things and stuffs...and other important objects.
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#47 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 01:06 PM

View PostTerez, on Feb 5 2009, 10:04 AM, said:

That's not any more "simple" than (nor very different from) my suggestion! hmph...


First up: Terez, you have to give the people what they want and Mezla ball gagged and ridden around the parlour is obviously what the unwashed masses crave.

Second: the ravings of someone we have already determined has some deep seated mistrust of menfolk are likely to be ignored despite the manifest insight.

Third: silence, men are talking.

It has occured to me that my previous post may have exposed some deep seated freudianesque insigth into the deepest darkest fantasies of my filthy mind but hey ho.
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#48 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 01:08 PM

Did someone imply misogyny? Because I think someone implied misgyny.

Attached File(s)


Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#49 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 01:20 PM

My other thought was:

"Sorry Liz I've been misleading you, this is not a chance effort at catching up with you after not seeing you for years; whilst you may not have seen me, I have certainly seen you. Many has been the long night I have spent hiding in your garden hoping to catch a glimpse of you getting dressed or lingering too long on your exposed landing while the towel falls enticingly away from your damp flesh. In recent weeks my longing has reached heights I had not thought possible but emboldened by your (our) relocation to more libertarian colonial climes (and against the advice of my judicially appointed psychiatrist) I had to make contact with you. Unfortuantely the pain of our decade long courtship can not go on and on the advice of Jeremy Clarkson I have taken up a career as a long distance trucker, where my tendency to murder small town girsl with similar ankles to yours will not only go unoticed but be lauded by the haulage community at large. However, before I go; please can I ride you round the lounge, ball gagged and dressed like a Vietnamese hooker.

Love [you long time] J.Hill

x"
I AM A TWAT
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#50 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 01:25 PM

BRILLIANT
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#51 User is offline   Menandore 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 01:47 PM

View PostCougar, on Feb 5 2009, 01:20 PM, said:

My other thought was:

"Sorry Liz I've been misleading you, this is not a chance effort at catching up with you after not seeing you for years; whilst you may not have seen me, I have certainly seen you. Many has been the long night I have spent hiding in your garden hoping to catch a glimpse of you getting dressed or lingering too long on your exposed landing while the towel falls enticingly away from your damp flesh. In recent weeks my longing has reached heights I had not thought possible but emboldened by your (our) relocation to more libertarian colonial climes (and against the advice of my judicially appointed psychiatrist) I had to make contact with you. Unfortuantely the pain of our decade long courtship can not go on and on the advice of Jeremy Clarkson I have taken up a career as a long distance trucker, where my tendency to murder small town girsl with similar ankles to yours will not only go unoticed but be lauded by the haulage community at large. However, before I go; please can I ride you round the lounge, ball gagged and dressed like a Vietnamese hooker.

Love [you long time] J.Hill

x"


Funnily enough, this was the first thing that popped into my head. Although, not in the same well thought out, intensly creepy, "I've had experience in this" kind of detail :p

Mezla, you should start reporting to the site on an hourly basis so we know you haven't been looked in the boot of some crazy stalker's car!! :p

Also, this is very intriguing, I look forward to reading the next installment :p
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#52 User is offline   teholbeddict 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 02:33 PM

View PostCougar, on Feb 5 2009, 07:20 AM, said:

My other thought was:

"Sorry Liz I've been misleading you, this is not a chance effort at catching up with you after not seeing you for years; whilst you may not have seen me, I have certainly seen you. Many has been the long night I have spent hiding in your garden hoping to catch a glimpse of you getting dressed or lingering too long on your exposed landing while the towel falls enticingly away from your damp flesh. In recent weeks my longing has reached heights I had not thought possible but emboldened by your (our) relocation to more libertarian colonial climes (and against the advice of my judicially appointed psychiatrist) I had to make contact with you. Unfortuantely the pain of our decade long courtship can not go on and on the advice of Jeremy Clarkson I have taken up a career as a long distance trucker, where my tendency to murder small town girsl with similar ankles to yours will not only go unoticed but be lauded by the haulage community at large. However, before I go; please can I ride you round the lounge, ball gagged and dressed like a Vietnamese hooker.

Love [you long time] J.Hill

x"



This is the one! Stalker perfection Cougar, well done!
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#53 User is offline   Lisheo 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 02:42 PM

I had a stalker for a while... Scary stuff. That girl was messed up.
Amusingly she DID send me something along the lines of "I've been misleading you" etc when she realised there was NO hope. Was hilarious.
“People have wanted to narrate since first we banged rocks together & wondered about fire. There’ll be tellings as long as there are any of us here, until the stars disappear one by one like turned-out lights.”
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#54 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 02:43 PM

You have a lot of compassion Lisheo :p
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#55 User is offline   Lisheo 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 02:44 PM

Yes, I'm a very loving person. :p
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#56 User is offline   frookenhauer 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 02:44 PM

BTW why are you all putting on the gayness?!?
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#57 User is offline   Lisheo 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 02:46 PM

Because it's quite funny :p Also, Tapper's comment made me lol, so that got sig status. :p
“People have wanted to narrate since first we banged rocks together & wondered about fire. There’ll be tellings as long as there are any of us here, until the stars disappear one by one like turned-out lights.”
- China Mieville
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#58 User is offline   Terez 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 03:48 PM

View PostCougar, on Feb 5 2009, 07:06 AM, said:

View PostTerez, on Feb 5 2009, 10:04 AM, said:

That's not any more "simple" than (nor very different from) my suggestion! hmph...


First up: Terez, you have to give the people what they want and Mezla ball gagged and ridden around the parlour is obviously what the unwashed masses crave.

Good point.

Cougar said:

Second: the ravings of someone we have already determined has some deep seated mistrust of menfolk are likely to be ignored despite the manifest insight.

I don't mistrust men at all - just testosterone overload boys. :p

Cougar said:

Third: silence, men are talking.

Bite me.

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
0

#59 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 07:05 PM

Anyone have a ball gag or know what a typical Vietnamese hooker dresses like so I can dress up and gate crash Cougar's wedding?
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#60 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 05 February 2009 - 07:09 PM

No news, I take it?
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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