[Obdigore]

Stormcat, on 23 December 2013 - 05:37 AM, said:

Granted you got an extra two hours and finished all of your work. But getting two hours of time that didn't exist causes you to fall into a time warp. You end up having to repeat those two hours of work on an infinite loop.
I wish it would snow here on Christmas.

Granted. You get a Blizzard on Christmas and the temperature is well below zero. The problem is that you lock yourself out of your domicile, no one else is home, no one within a 10 mile radius is home, and you are only in a leopard print thong.

I wish I wasn't addicted to Caffeine.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Possibly Brent Weeks, on 23 December 2013 - 06:03 AM, said:

Stormcat, on 23 December 2013 - 05:37 AM, said:

Granted you got an extra two hours and finished all of your work. But getting two hours of time that didn't exist causes you to fall into a time warp. You end up having to repeat those two hours of work on an infinite loop.
I wish it would snow here on Christmas.

Granted. You get a Blizzard on Christmas and the temperature is well below zero. The problem is that you lock yourself out of your domicile, no one else is home, no one within a 10 mile radius is home, and you are only in a leopard print thong.

I wish I wasn't addicted to Caffeine.

Granted. you get caffeine free! Its glorious as you are no longer wired on the Joe able now to enjoy sluggish mornings as nature intended. Sadly this was achieved through long nights locked out in the wintery christmas cold wearing nothing but a zebra print thong (perhaps by one vengeful Stormcat?). The Caffeine got worked out of your system when you fled all the leopard print thongees prowling your area.

-the underwear eco-system is delicate.

I wish we had a reliable advanced AI armor suit to save me from this leopard print debacle

This post has been edited by Dolmen Weeks: 23 December 2013 - 07:06 AM

[Abyss]

Dolmen Weeks, on 23 December 2013 - 07:03 AM, said:

I wish we had a reliable advanced AI armor suit to save me from this leopard print debacle

Grated. Your brand new suit of advanced AI armor arrives in the mail. Its awesome... cool full body armour, black glass helmet, flight pack, lasers, missiles, chain guns, internet, satellite radio, an espresso machine (w decaf option), and complete cyberdildonics suite. Yes... cyberdildonics. Google it. But NOT AT WORK. Oops, too late. You're fired, arrested, non of your friends or family want anything to do with you, and you have to go live in your shiny armour suit.

I wish my computer's speel-check was a little more thorough.

[melonhead]

Granted - your computer is given artificial intelligence so its spelling will be impeccable. Unfortunately the computer becomes self-aware, skynet takes over, and you are brutally murdered for being part of the inferior race.
I wish there was not a possum on my roof.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Granted there is not a possum on your roof. It is in your house. rummaging in your fridge. No one knows who gave it the keys.

I wish we I had not just researched Cyberdildonics on my mums computer...

[Shinrei]

Nope, you just found out all you needed to know about it from your mums closet.

I wish the Christmas package from my mum would arrive in time for Christmas.

[Abyss]

Shinrei, on 24 December 2013 - 01:11 PM, said:

I wish the Christmas package from my mum would arrive in time for Christmas.

Granted. You DID mean Christmas 2015, right?

I wish McDonalds served Big Macs at breakfast.

[melonhead]

I wish McDonalds served Big Macs at breakfast.
[/quote]

Granted. Unfortunately, you have now developed an allergy to the secret sauce used in Big Macs.

I wish my NEW remote control helicopter!! would charge faster.

[Shinrei]

melonhead, on 24 December 2013 - 08:30 PM, said:

I wish my NEW remote control helicopter!! would charge faster.

FWOOM! FWOOOSH! BLAM! <crackle crackle crackle> That's the sound of a fast charging, house-fire igniting helicopter battery!

I wish my daughter would take her nap so I can go running.

[melonhead]

Granted, you get to go for a run, but while running you slip on a banana and pull a muscle, and you cannot go running for weeks.

I wish I didn't have to go back to work

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

melonhead, on 01 January 2014 - 02:15 AM, said:

I wish I didn't have to go back to work

Granted. You iz fired.

I wish I didn't have to use the standard corrupt line for the standard wish instead I wish I could have wished to have a kitten!

[Abyss]

Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy, on 01 March 2014 - 01:10 PM, said:

I wish I didn't have to use the standard corrupt line for the standard wish instead I wish I could have wished to have a kitten!

Granted. Instead of corrupting wishes, all your future posts read 'I wish i wished for a kitten'. We ban you after two days.

I wish sunlight came in all the flavors of a pack of Lifesavers.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 27 March 2014 - 03:08 PM, said:

Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy, on 01 March 2014 - 01:10 PM, said:

I wish I didn't have to use the standard corrupt line for the standard wish instead I wish I could have wished to have a kitten!

Granted. Instead of corrupting wishes, all your future posts read 'I wish i wished for a kitten'. We ban you after two days.

I wish sunlight came in all the flavors of a pack of Lifesavers.

GRANTED. Solar age accelerates and deforms drastically due to a mad martian baby kittens plan to eradicate the solar system by accelerating the chain explosion rate within the sun via thread related wishery. Don't look at me funny the sciences are sound! You subsequently get your wish Abyss. On comes skin cancer harsh orange, Red giant bright Red, David Banner level gamma variety green and retroactively helpful Yellow. The flash solar apocalypse is a fiery and bizzare hell, your only regret that you didn't survive long enough to mutate, what with the red giant consuming the planet and effectively rendering Pluto the last planet. Yes, that's right Pluto as humanities last and only viable salvation gets its rightful Planet status back you no good, uppity astro-scientists. Who's a planet now earth, huh? huh? whats that? I cant hear you over my warm clime and suddenly comfortable graviteeeeOoooohshit!!!

I wish a Martian Kitten would stop using our corrupt a wish thread to power their evil annihilation schemes.

[Abyss]

Dolmen Weeks, on 27 March 2014 - 04:43 PM, said:

...
I wish a Martian Kitten would stop using our corrupt a wish thread to power their evil annihilation schemes.

Done. Because they win. The Martian Kittens always win. And i, for one, WELCOME or new little fuzzy super cute antennae'd catnip snuffling Overlords.

I wish humanity had put up more of a fight.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 27 March 2014 - 05:56 PM, said:

Dolmen Weeks, on 27 March 2014 - 04:43 PM, said:

...
I wish a Martian Kitten would stop using our corrupt a wish thread to power their evil annihilation schemes.

Done. Because they win. The Martian Kittens always win. And i, for one, WELCOME or new little fuzzy super cute antennae'd catnip snuffling Overlords.

I wish humanity had put up more of a fight.

It was EPIC! This time humanity took the fight to the martians opting to listen to japan for once and, pooling resources, created the first kitten proof giant Robot Warrior Mech with cupholders. It had lasers out the wazoo, highly advanced orbital frame technology and the baddest sword you've EVER seen, (looked like dragnipur and a light saber had one too many drinks) truly a marvel to behold. We armed it with nukes and kited it out towards Mars.

Sadly it never made the trip.

The kitten Liger Zero Galactic Death Mcguffin wiped it out with a Solar canon the size of Egypt.

I wish the Egyptians had warned us better about our fluffy impending doom.

[Abyss]

Dolmen Weeks, on 27 March 2014 - 06:38 PM, said:

Abyss, on 27 March 2014 - 05:56 PM, said:

Dolmen Weeks, on 27 March 2014 - 04:43 PM, said:

...
I wish a Martian Kitten would stop using our corrupt a wish thread to power their evil annihilation schemes.

Done. Because they win. The Martian Kittens always win. And i, for one, WELCOME or new little fuzzy super cute antennae'd catnip snuffling Overlords.

I wish humanity had put up more of a fight.

It was EPIC! This time humanity took the fight to the martians opting to listen to japan for once and, pooling resources, created the first kitten proof giant Robot Warrior Mech with cupholders. It had lasers out the wazoo, highly advanced orbital frame technology and the baddest sword you've EVER seen, (looked like dragnipur and a light saber had one too many drinks) truly a marvel to behold. We armed it with nukes and kited it out towards Mars.

Sadly it never made the trip.

The kitten Liger Zero Galactic Death Mcguffin wiped it out with a Solar canon the size of Egypt.

I wish the Egyptians had warned us better about our fluffy impending doom.

Granted. What did you think all those cats in the hieroglyphics were FFS?

I wish more giant robot warrior mechs in popular culture had lasers projecting from their wazoo.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 27 March 2014 - 07:00 PM, said:

Dolmen Weeks, on 27 March 2014 - 06:38 PM, said:

Abyss, on 27 March 2014 - 05:56 PM, said:

Dolmen Weeks, on 27 March 2014 - 04:43 PM, said:

...
I wish a Martian Kitten would stop using our corrupt a wish thread to power their evil annihilation schemes.

Done. Because they win. The Martian Kittens always win. And i, for one, WELCOME or new little fuzzy super cute antennae'd catnip snuffling Overlords.

I wish humanity had put up more of a fight.

It was EPIC! This time humanity took the fight to the martians opting to listen to japan for once and, pooling resources, created the first kitten proof giant Robot Warrior Mech with cupholders. It had lasers out the wazoo, highly advanced orbital frame technology and the baddest sword you've EVER seen, (looked like dragnipur and a light saber had one too many drinks) truly a marvel to behold. We armed it with nukes and kited it out towards Mars.

Sadly it never made the trip.

The kitten Liger Zero Galactic Death Mcguffin wiped it out with a Solar canon the size of Egypt.

I wish the Egyptians had warned us better about our fluffy impending doom.

Granted. What did you think all those cats in the hieroglyphics were FFS?

I wish more giant robot warrior mechs in popular culture had lasers projecting from their wazoo.

Oh boy....ok look, your wish is granted. Sadly this raises the censorship rating on every giant robot warrior mech show to a strict R18 rating. This actually stops no one. No one except for australia who now must ban every show involving optimus prime and his giant metal . Ofcourse this leaves out alot of furious Australians who don their Dundee hats and ascend their mighty War Kangaroos embarking on a holy mission to find and destroy you. Also crocodiles because why not?

I wish we could appropriately weaponize War Kangaroos to aide the invasion of iceland.

[Abyss]

Dolmen Weeks, on 28 March 2014 - 10:30 AM, said:

I wish we could appropriately weaponize War Kangaroos to aide the invasion of iceland.

Granted. And then you realize there's no even half-good reason to invade Iceland. Seriously, it's Iceland. Who care? And you call the whole thing off and decommission the weaponized war kangaroos, who are sold off to the US for use in the Ukraine. You keep the crocs tho', who eventually break out of their enclosures, go feral and breed, bringing about a new age of Australian Fortress Cities as the Croc-Wars rage for decades.

I wish that was a movie.

[Abyss]

Abyss, on 28 March 2014 - 02:22 PM, said:

Dolmen Weeks, on 28 March 2014 - 10:30 AM, said:

I wish we could appropriately weaponize War Kangaroos to aide the invasion of iceland.

Granted. And then you realize there's no even half-good reason to invade Iceland. Seriously, it's Iceland. Who care? And you call the whole thing off and decommission the weaponized war kangaroos, who are sold off to the US for use in the Ukraine. You keep the crocs tho', who eventually break out of their enclosures, go feral and breed, bringing about a new age of Australian Fortress Cities as the Croc-Wars rage for decades.

I wish that was a movie.

Granted. It was a movie. A Bolly wood movie. With dancing war crocs. Singing, dancing war crocs.

I wish i didn't have to corrupt my own wish.

[Bantato]

Wish granted, I corrupted your wish, but I was too lazy to think of anything witty, so you have to.
Have a nice day!

EDIT: I wish that /b/ is DESTROYED

This post has been edited by Bantato: 03 April 2014 - 09:42 PM