[Dolmen 2.0]

Granted, you remember the death gerbil Elvis in all its were-goldfish-hamster glory battling an undead Jim Morrison who vigourously attempts gerbicide with an extremely black book...or do you (0.o)???

I wish everyone was high.

[Abyss]

Granted. And it's boring because there are no un-high people to make fun of.

I wish Dolmen hadn't just mixed-up the were-goldfish dueling sharks for profit with Elvis the Death-Gerbil's shadow war against vampire Jim Morrison.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Granted Dolmen did not just mix-up the were-goldfish dueling sharks for profit with Elvis the Death-Gerbil's shadow war against vampire Jim Morrison. that was all mere conjecture by a mysterious woman named carrrrmen. incidently she stole your bacon.

I wish I could set fire to the rain. on purpose.

[Abyss]

Granted. And then you burned to death. AND drowned. At the same time. On the bright side that's one way to deal with a scorching case of herpes.

I wish I could figure out how Death-Gerbil Elvis would escape from vampire Jim Morrison's weaponized chocolate pudding trap in time to duel the were-goldfish. On the back of a shark. A shark with a laser, of course.

[Knowing]

Granted. Few people know that Death-Gerbil Elvis's kidneys have an unmatched tolerance for dealing with pudding. Oddly they are especially strong with chocolate pudding. With ease he devoured the pudding trap (narrowly avoiding the rat poison Jim Momrrison planted in it) and dove out to duel the were-goldfish. Unfortunately at this time his lower belly was seared by a laser bolt from the shark he was riding, giving him the look of a rolling striped ball of gerbil flesh.

One would think the extra pudding weight he put on would be a hindrance. however as the were-goldfish dove out of his fishbowl to begin tearing apart Death-Gerbil Elvis, he rolled right on top of him. Few fates have been as terrible as the were-goldfish who perished slowly as his were-lungs were deprived of oxygen while the gills sustained it for a few agonizing minutes off of the rancid gerbil sweat.


I wish I could have a boxing fight with a real life 4ft version of mickey mouse.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

Granted, except Mickey Mouse, being amongst other things a wizard, a fighter pilot, a musketeer, an astronaut, and the firebreathing emperor of the Disney Corporation, kicks your underprepared ass.

I wish I had a motorized vehicle to ride to class.

[Knowing]

Granted. A new ferrari 458 appears near your house. Unfortunately you are unaccustomed to the extra power and speed. At the third light you hit the gas too hard, run over the curb and into the STD testing clinic. All manner of STD test tubes shatter and spill on you. You now have raging cases of... well all the other ones mentioned in this thread.

I wish I had an evil twin who after years of battling I beat, enslaved, and forced him to go to work for me.

This post has been edited by Knowing: 31 August 2011 - 05:15 PM

[Abyss]

Granted. You now own a mirror.

I wish the Malazan Book of the Fallen had included at least one soletaken gerbil.

[Slow Ben]

Their was and it was a familiar of Pearl. It was just.....in use.....throughout the book.


I wish i was smart enough to remember to add a wish to the corrupt a wish game without editing.

This post has been edited by Slow Ben: 31 August 2011 - 05:51 PM

[Abyss]

Granted. You are now smart enough to add a wish to the corrupt a wish game without editing. However, you remain sadly lacking in respect of manual dexterity, wit and/or pesonal hygene, such that it makes no difference.

I wish my morning commute was via hang-glider.

[Obdigore]

Your morning commute is now via hang-glider.

You, however, have no idea how to operate a hang glider and crash into your building going 73 MPH and die after 18 hours of surgery you were awake and screaming for, as the anesthesia would have killed you for sure.

I wish I had a cookie.

This post has been edited by Dutch Flag: 31 August 2011 - 08:43 PM

[Abyss]

Granted. Several thousand times over. You may want to run your anti-spyware software now.

I wish I could eat at a really awesome buffet right now.

[Coco with marshmallows]

Abyss, on 31 August 2011 - 09:12 PM, said:

I wish I could eat at a really awesome buffet right now.

Granted. however you are immediately after arrested for your cannibalism of Warren Buffet(t).

I wish book 4 in the Laundry Series had already been released.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, however it only comes in Cyrillic. And there's a coffee stain on every third page.

I wish I had a little servant that could give me the most logical solution to things.

[Coco with marshmallows]

Ain, on 31 August 2011 - 09:58 PM, said:

Granted, however it only comes in Cyrillic. And there's a coffee stain on every third page.

excellent, it's just like the first three then.

Ain, on 31 August 2011 - 09:58 PM, said:

I wish I had a little servant that could give me the most logical solution to things.

Granted. Sadly, your little servant is a psychopath, and he believes that the logical solution is always "Kill your neighbours."

I wish I hadn't eaten so much chocolate earlier.

[Abyss]

Granted. You choked on your first bite and died.

I wish i could restore all the posts we lost in the last two (or three?) forumblips.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but in doing so, all the rest of the posts on the site are replaced by these posts.

I wish that I could find that thread.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Granted you are given the power to do just that. sadly with this ability comes the
sudden realization. To change the very metaphysics of forumn reality will surely kill
the mod gods. Such an act would bring down the hoary boar of war leaving the house
of War empty, open to be usurped by an Emo kitty on a tantrum (formerly knowwn as Nyapt).
you wouldn't want that now would you?

I wish for more chocolate cake.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Gust Hubb, on 01 September 2011 - 01:33 PM, said:

Granted, but in doing so, all the rest of the posts on the site are replaced by these posts.

I wish that I could find that thread.

{double post to make things right!!}

you do find the thread. sadly it was in its death bed, sighing its last breath.

I still want more chocolate cake dammit.

This post has been edited by Dolmen: 01 September 2011 - 01:49 PM

[Abyss]

Granted. You receive more chocolate cake. One small bite more, which really just frustrates you more than anything else.

I wish i had a team of multi-disciplinary massage therapists on call.