[Adjutant Stormy~]

Granted, but it's a dirt-nap. The sniper team is awarded several medals for the action.

I wish I didn't have to use a public computing facility.

[masan's saddle]

You can and you do, however whilst you are asleep you have a toxoplasmodic aneurysm caused by all the catshit on your bedroom floor, you die horribly.

I wish I wasn't so addicted to Twister ice lollies.

edit Curse you Stormy.

This post has been edited by masan's saddle: 25 August 2011 - 08:59 PM

[Dolmen 2.0]

granted you can go home now and take a nap but at the same time you cant thus you are here and there simultaneously splitting your herpes in two. shroedingers cat pities you...and doesn't.

I wish more wolverine was in this thread

edit: curse you stormy And MS!!!

This post has been edited by Dolmen: 25 August 2011 - 09:12 PM

[Slow Ben]

There is on the next page, but he's sitting at a public computer eating Tiwste ice lollies.

I wish beer had no calories.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, in fact beer now has anti-calories that upon entering your body explode as they meet the other calories present in that burger you ate before enjoying that beer. So now you are dying with a ruptured stomach hemorrhaging blood and partially incinerated hamburger into your peritoneal cavity, making you look like you have gained a lot of weight in the belly all the sudden as blood trickles down your chin. Oh, and these anti-calories give you instantaneous genital herpes, which, if possible, hurt far more than your torched gut.

I wish everyone would just go away.

[Tapper]

Your wish is granted. They're having an awesome time with unclad bikini models and you can hear them, see them but not join in.

I wish I had more bread.

[Gothos]

Your wish is granted. Sadly, the extra loaf is rammed up your ass.

I wish I had the money for a skydive this year.

[Tapper]

You have the money for a skydive. Sadly, it is from a Polish plane flying through a russian fog, and not only do you dive, so does the plane.

I wish they'd use my name for a hurricane.

[alt146]

Tapper, on 26 August 2011 - 10:21 AM, said:

You have the money for a skydive. Sadly, it is from a Polish plane flying through a russian fog, and not only do you dive, so does the plane.

I wish they'd use my name for a hurricane.

They do. It turns out to be the worst hurricane in history, so much so that human civilisation crumbles during the long years of its watery fury. Eventually it is regarded as a god and in hopes of appeasing, all mortals who blaspheme by having the name of the god are sacrificed on an altar in the eye of the storm, you included. Also by this time you have some or other venereal disease? (I gather that's how this game works?)

I wish I didn't have to spend the weekend working on a report.

[cerveza_fiesta]

You don't, because your weekend is spent at the local STD clinic, waiting for that diagnosis of herpasyphillaids you were so afraid of.

I wish I were a vampire that sparkled.

[Dolmen 2.0]

granted. You are a vampire. you are sparkly. As a by product you are also fabulous. Lady gaga will never forgive you.

I wish lady gaga forgave cf so that we may have sparkly world peace.

This post has been edited by Dolmen: 26 August 2011 - 11:33 AM

[Abyss]

Granted. Because Lady Gaga is actually the daughter of God and soon nuns everywhere will dress like her. Which isn't actually a bad thing. Or is it?!?!

I wish this weekend was seven days.

[Knowing]

Granted. The extra days of this year unexpectedly slows down the earth, hurdling the moon off it's normal course. Within a year the moon is approaching impact distance of the earth. All major cities near oceans have been swamped by massive tidal waves and Al Gore makes a movie about how pathetic global warming is now compared to some awful wish made by Abyss.

I wish I had a photographic memory.

[Slow Ben]

You do, and you'll enjoy it for about 5 minutes until you walk into the bathroom and see your mom naked taking a crap. Enjoy your photographic memory!!!

I wish i had a lightsaber.

[Sir Thursday]

You do, or at least you ordered a lightsaber off the internet. But due to a clerical error, you are in fact sent a light sabre instead.


I wish my laundry would do itself.

[Coco with marshmallows]

Sir Thursday, on 27 August 2011 - 04:24 PM, said:

You do, or at least you ordered a lightsaber off the internet. But due to a clerical error, you are in fact sent a light sabre instead.

that's not much of a corruption, that's still pretty cool.

Sir Thursday, on 27 August 2011 - 04:24 PM, said:

I wish my laundry would do itself.

Granted. However, your laundry then decides to rise up against the sweaty oppressor that makes them dirty, smothering you to death in the night by sending a brave squad of suicidal socks to crawl down your throat.

I wish i could patent the idea of a suicidal sock squad.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. However, you lac the funding necessary to implement it and the suicidal sock squad watches the original A-Team and....well, you know how it goes.

I wish I was fluent in Japanese.

[Abyss]

Granted. And now you can put that knowledge to good use in your new job translating e-scam spam in Nigeria.

I wish we didn't just lose 2 days worth of forum, especially in this thread with my resulting loss of ten reps points.

[majomull]

Granted. Your rep points and posts are updated. Unfortunately your avatar is now a picture of Lady Gaga and can not be changed.

I wish my shoulder didn't hurt.

[Abyss]

Granted. You are now dead. Nothing hurts.

I wish I could remember that really clever thing i posted about a death-gerbil named Elvis rising from the dead to defend the world against a vampire Jim Morrison.