[Bauchelain the Evil]

Here they are: raw

I wish I had a huge cake

[Obdigore]

Bauchelain the Evil, on Feb 10 2009, 09:35 AM, said:

Here they are: raw

I wish I had a huge cake

You have a huge cake. Out pops the queen of england in a bikini, who then has her guards draw and quarter you for getting the queen into a bikini.

I wish I had a pet.

[Bauchelain the Evil]

You get a little fluffy cat named Tufty. You love him so much and he loves you too. Sadly Tufty dies after being hit by a car and you can't stand the pain. You trow yourself from a high building.

I wish I didn't have a cat

[Obdigore]

You get rid of your cat.

Cats then start the uprising, and you are one of those put against the wall for having no heart.

I wish I didn't have any wishes.

This post has been edited by Obdigore: 10 February 2009 - 03:54 PM

[Bauchelain the Evil]

You just wished for something

I wish I was a olympic-level athlet

[Hinter]

You win the gold in the 100m sprint, then get banned for doping

I wish the English could win the 6 nations

[Bauchelain the Evil]

They win it and believe that they are the greatest rugby team in the world. So, they challenge the all-black and severely loose. They are so ashamed that all the players refuse to play rugby for the rest of their life.

I wish Italy wins vs Brazil in the football match

[Sinisdar Toste]

you live in america and italy and brazil dont have football teams

i wish americans didn't call things stupid names

[no_survivors]

Americans stop calling things stupid names, in fact everything they say becomes immensely intelligent and enlightening. Unfortunately within days of this transformation America is annexed by Canada and things become twice as stupid. I'll stop here before I piss off fellow Canadians. hehe.

I wish I had more smokes.

This post has been edited by Maddog: 10 February 2009 - 07:19 PM

[frookenhauer]

you get your smokes ...unfortunately these new smokes are so powerful they send out great gusts of smoke. Unbeknownst (Is that a word?) to you a nearby native american reservation has been the focus for a new group of vengeful fanatics and their overriding goal is to get their country back at any cost. They see the smoke from your...er, smokes and decide its a smoke signal telling them to go to war. Of course your hometown is the first place to fall victim to the new age Red Indians and they finally mange to scalp you as you make your way to the slushy north pole. On a good note the new territory they annex is given to them in the hope they calm down and so the hunt continues for a man with a nasty case of hairl loss who started it all, seeing as its the Canadian government chasing you you manaqe to get away and live your life in Hollywood where your bizarre head means you can play the weird guy in every movie.

I wish for a Unicron (It's not a misspell)

[no_survivors]

Well good thing they are looking for a man because I am a chick

You save money your entire life to get a unicron and finally have enough to order one. You are lying on your deathbed when it finally arrives in the mail... Too bad IKEA doesn't have a return policy on this one because it turns out your Unicron is really a broken Transformer with missing pieces. You die the next day.

[frookenhauer]

Ooops

What do you wish for my dear lady...er chick er...Goddamnit

[no_survivors]

Duh! Oh yah. haha.

I wish I owned a cabin in the woods.

[frookenhauer]

You get your cabin in the woods unfortunately it is the size of a dolls house...at least your feet will be warm when you set fire to it in the incandescent rage that builds up inside of you when you realise you've thwarted.

I wish for mole butt to step forward and announce themselves to the world so i may point and laugh

[Sir Thursday]

Mole Butt steps forward. As it turns out, his posterior is the home of a sizeable family of tunnelling rodents, who, enraged by being exposed to the world, leave their cozy hiding place and dig a tunnel beneath your feet, from whence they sally forth and consume you whole.

I wish for double glazing.

[frookenhauer]

You get double glazing, but its for your glasses, unfortunately the seal is rubbish and codensation forms between the layers and no matter how hard you rub it...hehehe ...it wont go away.

I wish for Geroge R R Martin to hurry the fuck up and finish the books before I make my way over there and give him a piece of my mind or two

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, but he was drunk and he writes it thinking he's David Eddings.

I wish for an end to the nasty smog.

[Old Magic]

smog has cleared never to return, but in its place cars and industry now emit fart clouds (along with the sound), covering everything in a greasy powder

i wish i could control the weather..

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, but it demands constant attention.

I wish my finger would stop itching.

[frookenhauer]

Your finger does indeed stop itching and not a moment too soon cos you need to to scratch the rest of your body which has begun the real 7 year itch. Happy scratchin!