[Stormcat]

Granted. But I have no idea what you mean by /b/ so I assume it stands for birthday. No more birthdays for you. :/

I wish that, like a fairy princess, all I had to do was sing and a dozen woodland creatures would come clean my house.

[Bantato]

Stormcat, on 03 April 2014 - 11:38 PM, said:

Granted. But I have no idea what you mean by /b/ so I assume it stands for birthday. No more birthdays for you. :/

I wish that, like a fairy princess, all I had to do was sing and a dozen woodland creatures would come clean my house.

Hahaha, lolno. /b/ is not birthday, and I highly recommend not going there.

Spoiler

you're going there arent you? Fine ill wait.

But back on topic, yes, your wish gets granted, but the woodland creatures get high and start killing you. The End

EDIT: I wish I wouldn't forget to add a wish at the end of my post so I dont have to edit it

This post has been edited by Bantato: 04 April 2014 - 12:12 AM

[Abyss]

Bantato, on 04 April 2014 - 12:11 AM, said:

Stormcat, on 03 April 2014 - 11:38 PM, said:

Granted. But I have no idea what you mean by /b/ so I assume it stands for birthday. No more birthdays for you. :/

I wish that, like a fairy princess, all I had to do was sing and a dozen woodland creatures would come clean my house.

Hahaha, lolno. /b/ is not birthday, and I highly recommend not going there.

Spoiler

you're going there arent you? Fine ill wait.

But back on topic, yes, your wish gets granted, but the woodland creatures get high and start killing you. The End

EDIT: I wish I wouldn't forget to add a wish at the end of my post so I dont have to edit it

Granted. ...because you added a wish... which has been fulfilled.... pretty frikkin lame waste of a wish if you asked me, but hey, it's your gray sad empty life and if that's what it takes to make you happy, well... do as you wish.

I wish someone saw what i did there.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 04 April 2014 - 05:51 PM, said:

I wish someone saw what i did there.

Granted. I saw. And I admit, it was bloody brilliant. Kudos. I won't tell anyone though. The official version is it didn't happen.

I wish I put all of my great ideas into action. Even the avant-garde ones.

[Abyss]

Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy, on 04 April 2014 - 06:29 PM, said:

I wish I put all of my great ideas into action. Even the avant-garde ones.

Granted.
So, how did that work out for you?
Feeling pretty special? Great achievements all over the place?
Immense level of personal satisfaction?
World a better place now?
World a beter and more avant-garde place now?
Everything you hoped and more?
Anyone even notice what you did?
Anyone, anyone at all?
Did you even DO anything? Did you? DID YOU? NO, no, you did not, because all your ideas, even the oh so special avant-garde ones, amounted to reorganizing your post-it-notes by color and switching to decaf and poof, there it is, the sum total of your life's ambition crunched down into cold reality and made real. THAT'S what happens when you have nothing left to strive for. Congratufuckinglations, your life is now complete, get yourself a pack of oreos and a deep fryer and go watch some tv there is nothing left to accomplish here. Buh-bye, thank you for playing.

I wish that had come out a tiny bit less harsh.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 04 April 2014 - 06:43 PM, said:

Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy, on 04 April 2014 - 06:29 PM, said:

I wish I put all of my great ideas into action. Even the avant-garde ones.

Granted.
So, how did that work out for you?
Feeling pretty special? Great achievements all over the place?
Immense level of personal satisfaction?
World a better place now?
World a beter and more avant-garde place now?
Everything you hoped and more?
Anyone even notice what you did?
Anyone, anyone at all?
Did you even DO anything? Did you? DID YOU? NO, no, you did not, because all your ideas, even the oh so special avant-garde ones, amounted to reorganizing your post-it-notes by color and switching to decaf and poof, there it is, the sum total of your life's ambition crunched down into cold reality and made real. THAT'S what happens when you have nothing left to strive for. Congratufuckinglations, your life is now complete, get yourself a pack of oreos and a deep fryer and go watch some tv there is nothing left to accomplish here. Buh-bye, thank you for playing.

I wish that had come out a tiny bit less harsh.

Granted.
We pump the room full of helium, that soul destroying monologue gets crunched out in the voice of a chipmunk then actual chipmunks swoop in and start to strip. (Get it? because of the chippendales...chip n dale??? rescue rangers? bah forget it.)

I wish I hadn't implanted the association of the Chip n Dale Rescue rangers theme song and male stripping into half the minds of the thread....

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. Now the whole thread has that idiotic association stuck deep in the recesses of their subconsciousness. You've scarred a generation for life.

I wish my vacation could be longer than 5 days.

[Abyss]

Gust Hubb, on 12 April 2014 - 06:44 PM, said:

Granted. Now the whole thread has that idiotic association stuck deep in the recesses of their subconsciousness. You've scarred a generation for life.

I wish my vacation could be longer than 5 days.

Granted. Your plane is forced to land in North Korea where you're arrested for spying. The Supreme Leader himself sentences you to scientific experimentation where you're trapped in an endless loop of Dennis Rodman movies.
I wish cows tasted like bacon.

[Gust Hubb]

Abyss, on 12 April 2014 - 10:56 PM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 12 April 2014 - 06:44 PM, said:

Granted. Now the whole thread has that idiotic association stuck deep in the recesses of their subconsciousness. You've scarred a generation for life.

I wish my vacation could be longer than 5 days.

Granted. Your plane is forced to land in North Korea where you're arrested for spying. The Supreme Leader himself sentences you to scientific experimentation where you're trapped in an endless loop of Dennis Rodman movies.
I wish cows tasted like bacon.

Granted. SCIENCE happens and now cows have the pig muscle gene giving them the most scrumptious beef bacon ever. Too bad the cows also become susceptible to Crazy Pig Disease, much like Mad Cow Disease, except this time, instead of waiting 10 years to die, people instantly become like the infected in 28 Days later and the world is thrown into an apocalypse (because really, who can resist beef bacon, especially when it is Halal and Kosher!).

I wish all American politicians were replaced by a new crew without the long history of wealth and corruption.

This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 13 April 2014 - 01:48 AM

[Abyss]

Gust Hubb, on 13 April 2014 - 01:47 AM, said:

I wish all American politicians were replaced by a new crew without the long history of wealth and corruption.

Granted. Justin Bieber and his entourage, who are newly come to both wealth and corruption, are now in charge.
Bonus for you because Bieber isn't even American. You're welcome.

I wish there was a paranormal whiskey called Time Travel No Hangover.

[Gabriel Chase]

Abyss, on 23 April 2014 - 05:34 PM, said:

I wish there was a paranormal whiskey called Time Travel No Hangover.

Granted! A single glassful causes you to black out, and you wake up 40 years later as a tattered old man with no teeth, and incontinence problems.

I wish I could (and would) win at life.

This post has been edited by Gabriel Chase: 24 April 2014 - 12:14 AM

[Abyss]

Gabriel Chase, on 24 April 2014 - 12:14 AM, said:

I wish I could (and would) win at life.

Granted. You can and will win at Life. By Milton Bradley.
I wish you could collect starlight in a jar. And then smoke it.

[Coco with marshmallows]

Abyss, on 24 April 2014 - 05:31 AM, said:

Granted. You can and will win at Life. By Milton Bradley.
I wish you could collect starlight in a jar. And then smoke it.

Granted.

However, it has no hallucinogenic properties, and is so carcinogenic that the mere act of lighting it gives you testicular cancer.

Even if you're female, since starlight is magical that way.

I wish i had gone to bed an hour ago.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. But because you did so, such a whitty remark to the prior post is missed and as a result of your consternation in missing such an opportunity, you develop chronic constipation that requires monthly disimpaction at the ER.

I wish my dog's breath wasn't so goddamn awful.

[Abyss]

Gust Hubb, on 27 April 2014 - 01:22 AM, said:

I wish my dog's breath wasn't so goddamn awful.

Granted. Now it's fire. Sorry about the house. And the burns. And the civil suit.
I wish Target was staffed by clones of The Human Target.

[Assail]

Abyss, on 27 April 2014 - 04:59 AM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 27 April 2014 - 01:22 AM, said:

I wish my dog's breath wasn't so goddamn awful.

Granted. Now it's fire. Sorry about the house. And the burns. And the civil suit.
I wish Target was staffed by clones of The Human Target.

Granted. Except I don't know what The Human Target is, so just enjoy your clones.
I wish I hadn't got arrested and charged with a misdemeanor on Mother's day.

[Gabriel Chase]

Granted. You were, instead, charged with terrorism due to mistaken identity, rendered and sent to Guantanamo Bay. You now languish there, undergoing waterboarding and other ‘aggressive interview’ techniques.

I wish I win my upcoming fight on Sunday.

[QuickTidal]

Gabriel Chase, on 16 May 2014 - 12:00 PM, said:

Granted. You were, instead, charged with terrorism due to mistaken identity, rendered and sent to Guantanamo Bay. You now languish there, undergoing waterboarding and other ‘aggressive interview’ techniques.

I wish I win my upcoming fight on Sunday.

Granted you win your fight, and celebrate with much pomp, and glory. But your opponent seeks revenge and tracks you for seven years. During that seven years at the end of each month you are sent a piece of feces, floating in midair, served in a glass ball that defies what we know about physics. Each time you have tried to get rid of said "gifts" they come back the next day doubled. You stopped trying to dispose of them after the first 12 came back with duplicates. They cannot be shattered. You are forced to keep them in the attic. After seven years the "gifts' stop abruptly (you now have 96 balls). On December 31st, seven years from today, a final package arrives and inside is a controller with a red button. You are not stupid enough to push it...and so you wait. A few years later, you get annoyed by the glass balls of poo in your house...so you pull out the controller and push the button, wincing as you do so. The controller opens and inside is a note. Written on the note is "Ha Ha. I made you keep poo in your house!" ~signed by your opponent.

The poo never explodes or does anything. The glass balls just follow you around from house to house, forever.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 16 May 2014 - 01:58 PM

[Gnaw]

A Demon Llama!, on 04 October 2014 - 11:21 PM, said:

Can you deflate the tires to get through? Might be a pain to do it all the time though. Probably not good for the tires too specially when cold. Solution is to destroy your concrete obviously.

Gust Hubb, on 04 October 2014 - 10:56 PM, said:

No you don't. Larger it is, more stuff that fills it.

I wish I had as much stuff.

Granted. Self-corrupting wish!

I wish QT had put a wish in his post and not killed the thread.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, however now the glass balls of poop are showing up at your home....

I wish I didn't have to clean up other people's messes.