[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but at that precise moment when wisdom and truth is instilled in all concerned, someone wishes they could win the lottery, and they do despite the naysayers trying to corrupt their dreams. And with all this money, the winner becomes powerful, buying the perfect stocks, greasing the right palms, buying up fame and fortune left and right. Years later, they return to our humble hamlet, buy the site, and then come back to this thread to write the following:

I wish I win.... oh wait, I already did.


I wish that I could stay awake reading textbooks, listening to lectures, and just in general.

This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 09 October 2014 - 01:47 PM

[Vengeance]

 Gust Hubb, on 09 October 2014 - 01:46 PM, said:

I wish that I could stay awake reading textbooks, listening to lectures, and just in general.

Granted. But now you can't sleep ever. You slowly start to go insane and eventually have to be put in a home for the mentally insane.

I wish that software didn't have quite so many bugs.

[Tapper]

 Vengeance, on 09 October 2014 - 02:20 PM, said:

 Gust Hubb, on 09 October 2014 - 01:46 PM, said:

I wish that I could stay awake reading textbooks, listening to lectures, and just in general.

Granted. But now you can't sleep ever. You slowly start to go insane and eventually have to be put in a home for the mentally insane.

I wish that software didn't have quite so many bugs.

Granted. There is only blank pages instead of codes now, and you have to do the work by hand.

I wish people would respect simple email etiquette and stop putting priority marks on low priority stuff.

[patho-logic]

Granted. And now your computer runs stellar and you're you're able to explore 20x more websites and become obsessed with voyeuristic, exhibitionism and S&M websites and spend all your extra time in front of the computer and everyone forgets about you 8=====D~~~ ( . Y )

I wish I was an astronaut, cowboy millionaire.

[Tapper]

 patho-logic, on 09 October 2014 - 02:40 PM, said:

Granted. And now your computer runs stellar and you're you're able to explore 20x more websites and become obsessed with voyeuristic, exhibitionism and S&M websites and spend all your extra time in front of the computer and everyone forgets about you 8=====D~~~ ( . Y )

I wish I was an astronaut, cowboy millionaire.

You are an astronaut cowboy millionaire for 6.3 seconds, then your mustang-rocket bucks, you fall off, and instead of shattering some ribs, you drift in space until you run out of oxygen. Your funeral will be spectacular considering you're a deceased cowboy millionaire astronaut, though.

I wish I hadn't booked tickets for two different concerts at the same day at the same time fifty kilometres apart.

[Gust Hubb]

 Tapper, on 09 October 2014 - 02:30 PM, said:

 Vengeance, on 09 October 2014 - 02:20 PM, said:

 Gust Hubb, on 09 October 2014 - 01:46 PM, said:

I wish that I could stay awake reading textbooks, listening to lectures, and just in general.

Granted. But now you can't sleep ever. You slowly start to go insane and eventually have to be put in a home for the mentally insane. I wish that software didn't have quite so many bugs.

Granted. There is only blank pages instead of codes now, and you have to do the work by hand.I wish people would respect simple email etiquette and stop putting priority marks on low priority stuff.

Granted, priorities are assigned perfectly, all 50 of them, the most ambiguous including: kind of maybe something you should glance at with the week, top ultra priority FFS only when time allows, and meh.

 Tapper, on 09 October 2014 - 02:47 PM, said:

 patho-logic, on 09 October 2014 - 02:40 PM, said:

Granted. And now your computer runs stellar and you're you're able to explore 20x more websites and become obsessed with voyeuristic, exhibitionism and S&M websites and spend all your extra time in front of the computer and everyone forgets about you 8=====D~~~ ( . Y )I wish I was an astronaut, cowboy millionaire.

You are an astronaut cowboy millionaire for 6.3 seconds, then your mustang-rocket bucks, you fall off, and instead of shattering some ribs, you drift in space until you run out of oxygen. Your funeral will be spectacular considering you're a deceased cowboy millionaire astronaut, though.I wish I hadn't booked tickets for two different concerts at the same day at the same time fifty kilometres apart.

Granted, but your now frustrated doppleganger steals your girl in revenge, which is better for everyone I guess since she liked him better anyway.

I wish I had bought stock in Google when I was young.

This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 10 October 2014 - 12:48 PM

[Gnaw]

 Gust Hubb, on 10 October 2014 - 12:47 PM, said:

Granted, but your now frustrated doppleganger steals your girl in revenge, which is better for everyone I guess since she liked him better anyway.

I wish I had bought stock in Google when I was young.

Granted. But you were young,cocky, and knew it all. So you went through an online brokerage site. And bought GGAL, a modestly performing Argentinian financial sector stock. Then panicked in 2009 and sold it for $3 a share.


I wish I had a decent idea for a wish.

[melonhead]

Granted, you have the best idea for a wish. In fact you think of the only wish that is completely incorruptible. To bad you forgot what it was before you could get to a computer.

I wish I didn't lose my wallet

[Maark Abbott]

Your wallet finds you, and then mugs you at knifepoint in a dark alley.

I wish I still had my handlebar sideburns.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but the pure awesomeness blows your dome, literally, leaving a nice pair of handlebar sideburns to complement the raw, empty shell they highlight.

I wish I had a prehensile tail.

[melonhead]

Granted, you now have a prehensile tail. of a seahorse.

I wish someone would pay my student loan

This post has been edited by melonhead: 25 November 2014 - 07:01 AM

[Abyss]

 melonhead, on 25 November 2014 - 07:01 AM, said:

I wish someone would pay my student loan

Someone did. Welcome to the Cartel.
I wish I could get to sleep.

[EmperorMagus]

 Abyss, on 25 November 2014 - 07:44 AM, said:

Someone did. Welcome to the Cartel.
I wish I could get to sleep.

You're now asleep. A B&E happens at your house. A giant cat has eaten your head.

I wish I didn't waste so much of my time.

[Nicodimas]

 emperormagus, on 25 November 2014 - 07:48 AM, said:

 Abyss, on 25 November 2014 - 07:44 AM, said:

Someone did. Welcome to the Cartel.
I wish I could get to sleep.

You're now asleep. A B&E happens at your house. A giant cat has eaten your head.

I wish I didn't waste so much of my time.

your wish is granted

Congratulations, you no longer waste any time..time is mere concept that you laugh and laugh about.

You now are completely enthralled in puzzles..puzzles everywhere.

I wish for billions of Zombies, Space Aliens and Cross-Dimensional Species to attack earth and we all get together and fight to the bitter end.

[Maark Abbott]

The Zombies and Cross-Dimensional Species broker an uneasy peace, whilst the Space Aliens realise that their former allies will eventually turn on them and retreat to higher ground. Meanwhile, a Zombie and a CDS fall in love and have a child, shattering the alliance. But it's all moot because the SA are actually Covenant and glass Earth, killing everything on it.

I wish that there were no longer six pedals, when considering that there are only four directions.

[Lady Bliss]

I wish Trump wasn't president.

[Abyss]

Granted. Say hello to President Pence. And goodbye to all the LGBTQ, minorities, liberals and sane people actively fleeing to Canada. Or even Mexico.

I wish I was in Mexico, on a nice beach where people bring me alcoholic drinks and tacos.

[Lady Bliss]

Granted! Due to "questionable" internet activity that you have committed over the past several years, you are being extradited to the Islas Marias Federal Penal colony in Mexico. Enjoy the toilet wine and tacos!

I wish I had a new car.

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 26 February 2017 - 06:41 PM

[Abyss]

Granted.

Spoiler

I wish this coffee was better.

[Slow Ben]

It is! But only because we added whiskey, causing you to act belligerently drunk at work and get fired!


I wish the bank would hurry and give me a damn closing date on this house I'm selling.