[Azathmaster]

Granted, but the outcry against it destroys the credibility of the monarchy, Canada declares war on the UK, and you are tarred and feathered as a loyalist.

I wish it wasnt so damn hot in Washington DC

[Abyss]

Azathmaster, on 25 July 2013 - 06:00 PM, said:

I wish it wasnt so damn hot in Washington DC

Granted. Say 'hello nuclear winter'!

I wish i had bought three cookies instead of two.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. That third cookie contains deadly poison, the antidote to which is contained in-the fourth cookie! Unfortunately for you I already ate it.

I wish that I could be more perceptive when people are hitting on me.

[Elzhi]

Granted.

You can now tell when anyone hits on you... but you are still clueless when it comes to women, and you find that a disturbing about of men are actually hitting on you.


I wish I could time travel.

[Abyss]

Elzhi, on 10 August 2013 - 09:31 PM, said:

...

I wish I could time travel.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.



...so how's that working out for you?


I wish i had stopped after four oatmeal pancakes.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 11 August 2013 - 06:51 PM, said:

Elzhi, on 10 August 2013 - 09:31 PM, said:

...

I wish I could time travel.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.

Granted.



...so how's that working out for you?


I wish i had stopped after four oatmeal pancakes.

Granted

you are 4 oatmeal pancakes full. Sadly there was an accidental trip at the milk factory by good old spacer Jay and an "experimental herb" made it into the carton of milk used to make your pancakes. OH NO!

One Fear and loathing in Las Vegas later you're outside the new IHoP in bat-country, minus your clothing and feeling a little peckish.

the bad part to all this is...They have no syrup.

[Abyss]

Dolmen+, on 11 August 2013 - 07:23 PM, said:

Abyss+, on 11 August 2013 - 07:23 PM, said:

...I wish i had stopped after four oatmeal pancakes.

Granted

you are 4 oatmeal pancakes full. Sadly there was an accidental trip at the milk factory by good old spacer Jay and an "experimental herb" made it into the carton of milk used to make your pancakes. OH NO!

One Fear and loathing in Las Vegas later you're outside the new IHoP in bat-country, minus your clothing and feeling a little peckish.

the bad part to all this is...They have no syrup.

Granted. I get syrup. You get nothing because you didn't make a wish. Sucks to be you, but mmmm-MM that is some fine tasting syrup, even for IHOP.

I wish i this 'hold-music' i'm stuck with wasn't adult contemporary, because Phil Collins is making me bleed from my ears.

[Azathmaster]

Abyss, on 12 August 2013 - 02:52 PM, said:

Dolmen+, on 11 August 2013 - 07:23 PM, said:

Abyss+, on 11 August 2013 - 07:23 PM, said:

...I wish i had stopped after four oatmeal pancakes.

Granted

you are 4 oatmeal pancakes full. Sadly there was an accidental trip at the milk factory by good old spacer Jay and an "experimental herb" made it into the carton of milk used to make your pancakes. OH NO!

One Fear and loathing in Las Vegas later you're outside the new IHoP in bat-country, minus your clothing and feeling a little peckish.

the bad part to all this is...They have no syrup.

Granted. I get syrup. You get nothing because you didn't make a wish. Sucks to be you, but mmmm-MM that is some fine tasting syrup, even for IHOP.

I wish i this 'hold-music' i'm stuck with wasn't adult contemporary, because Phil Collins is making me bleed from my ears.

Granted, have you ever heard of "Avant-Garde Noise Music"?



Yeah, now you wish it was phil collins.

I wish I didn't need contacts

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, you need new eyeballs instead. Have fun scouting them shady back-alley organ dealers.

I wish that I would stop farting so much, it is making me feel quite ill.

[Abyss]

Ain, on 13 August 2013 - 01:16 PM, said:

I wish that I would stop farting so much, it is making me feel quite ill.

Granted. Your bowels just exploded and now pieces of you are making everyone else feel quite ill. You feel fine tho'. Shock and unconsciousness are a wonderful thing.

I wish my tablet came with a hover feature.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 13 August 2013 - 02:11 PM, said:

Ain, on 13 August 2013 - 01:16 PM, said:

I wish that I would stop farting so much, it is making me feel quite ill.

Granted. Your bowels just exploded and now pieces of you are making everyone else feel quite ill. You feel fine tho'. Shock and unconsciousness are a wonderful thing.

I wish my tablet came with a hover feature.

Granted.

Voila! your Tablet now has hovering capabilities, you can now glide over landmines and storm the beaches of Norway!

...but then Why would you? Norway is fine just the way it is, it aint bothering nobody. It's like a blonde kitten, just chill bro. Anyways you see sense and the Abyssal army turns back, and shares rashers of bacon while navigating their way back home. At that exact moment a great white shark attacks you, you avoid it and swim for shore, making it just in time but leaving your hapless hover tablet to be consumed by aforementioned shark...

BUT WAIT! the hover technology is still active, Shark and Tablet combine and merge consciousness, the great white Tablet shark ups in intelligence, remembering with bitter hatred the tasty morsel of an owner that left it behind to this unholy fate. Not long after a finnish monstrosity (see what I did there?) rises from the ocean. No one is safe, the first hover shark is born!

I wish I had more time.

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 14 August 2013 - 04:41 PM

[Abyss]

Dolmen+, on 14 August 2013 - 05:46 AM, said:

...Shark and Tablet combine and merge consciousness, the great white Tablet shark ups in intelligence, remembering with bitter hatred the tasty morsel of an owner that left it behind to this unholy fate. Not long after a finnish monstrosity (see what I did there?) rises from the ocean. No one is safe, the first hover shark is born!

I wish I had more time.

Granted. Hovershark stops to devour a schoolbus and gives you five extra minutes before the inevitable.

I wish Shark Week 2013 had been better.

[Azathmaster]

Abyss, on 14 August 2013 - 01:35 PM, said:

Dolmen+, on 14 August 2013 - 05:46 AM, said:

...Shark and Tablet combine and merge consciousness, the great white Tablet shark ups in intelligence, remembering with bitter hatred the tasty morsel of an owner that left it behind to this unholy fate. Not long after a finnish monstrosity (see what I did there?) rises from the ocean. No one is safe, the first hover shark is born!

I wish I had more time.

Granted. Hovershark stops to devour a schoolbus and gives you five extra minutes before the inevitable.

I wish Shark Week 2013 had been better.

Granted, it was so good that real sharks were sent to your house. The only catch is that they had to flood your house first. And the sharks ate you... They're sorry.

except they're not really sorry

[Dolmen 2.0]

Azathmaster, on 14 August 2013 - 04:15 PM, said:

Abyss, on 14 August 2013 - 01:35 PM, said:

Dolmen+, on 14 August 2013 - 05:46 AM, said:

...Shark and Tablet combine and merge consciousness, the great white Tablet shark ups in intelligence, remembering with bitter hatred the tasty morsel of an owner that left it behind to this unholy fate. Not long after a finnish monstrosity (see what I did there?) rises from the ocean. No one is safe, the first hover shark is born!

I wish I had more time.

Granted. Hovershark stops to devour a schoolbus and gives you five extra minutes before the inevitable.

I wish Shark Week 2013 had been better.

Granted, it was so good that real sharks were sent to your house. The only catch is that they had to flood your house first. And the sharks ate you... They're sorry.

except they're not really sorry

Welcome brother to the wish not upon a star liberation front. Mavis, hand him a cookie...Mavis? Mavis? MAAAAAAVIS??!!!!!!

Disclaimer: When you dont make a wish Hover Shark infiltrates your cookies.

I wish Mavis didn't have to die...

This post has been edited by Dolmen+: 14 August 2013 - 04:37 PM

[Azathmaster]

Dolmen+, on 14 August 2013 - 04:33 PM, said:

Azathmaster, on 14 August 2013 - 04:15 PM, said:

Abyss, on 14 August 2013 - 01:35 PM, said:

Dolmen+, on 14 August 2013 - 05:46 AM, said:

...Shark and Tablet combine and merge consciousness, the great white Tablet shark ups in intelligence, remembering with bitter hatred the tasty morsel of an owner that left it behind to this unholy fate. Not long after a finnish monstrosity (see what I did there?) rises from the ocean. No one is safe, the first hover shark is born!

I wish I had more time.

Granted. Hovershark stops to devour a schoolbus and gives you five extra minutes before the inevitable.

I wish Shark Week 2013 had been better.

Granted, it was so good that real sharks were sent to your house. The only catch is that they had to flood your house first. And the sharks ate you... They're sorry.

except they're not really sorry

Welcome brother to the wish not upon a star liberation front. Mavis, hand him a cookie...Mavis? Mavis? MAAAAAAVIS??!!!!!!

Disclaimer: When you dont make a wish Hover Shark infiltrates your cookies.

I wish Mavis didn't have to die...

Granted, you die instead("a life given for a life taken").

I wish I remembered to make wishes.

[Abyss]

Azathmaster, on 14 August 2013 - 05:36 PM, said:

I wish I remembered to make wishes.

Granted. Way to waste a wish. A post-it note on your desk or something would have worked just as well ffs...

I wish my office had a trap door that allowed me to drop eject irritating visitors into a shark hover-shark pool cage.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 14 August 2013 - 06:08 PM, said:

Azathmaster, on 14 August 2013 - 05:36 PM, said:

I wish I remembered to make wishes.

Granted. Way to waste a wish. A post-it note on your desk or something would have worked just as well ffs...

I wish my office had a trap door that allowed me to drop eject irritating visitors into a shark hover-shark pool cage.

Granted but according to this site http://uk.movies.yah...lain-lair-.html

the cost of it is ridiculous and your Chum bill and handler salary will likely ruin you.

I wish the words "Shaken not stirred" automatically came out of everyones mouth in a rich Scottish brogue.

[Braven's barber]

I wish the words "Shaken not stirred" automatically came out of everyones mouth in a rich Scottish brogue.
[/quote]


Granted! Sadly rather than the lovely lilt of Edinburgh it's the uninteligable drawl of Glasgow. Everyone out of sight of the mighty Clyde think you've insulted their mother. Wars ensue. Humanity ends. You never do get a martini.


I wish that one day we'll be treated to 3 days of open court testimony regarding A-rod's steroid induced testicular shinkage - just like barry bonds.

[Abyss]

Braven, on 25 August 2013 - 06:49 PM, said:

I wish that one day we'll be treated to 3 days of open court testimony regarding A-rod's steroid induced testicular shinkage - just like barry bonds.

Granted. The term 'testicular shinkage' trends higher on twitter than the news that Ben Affleck was cast as Batman. News worldwide is plastered with 3D HD pictures of his shrunken testicals.
T-shirts! Cell phone rings!!! Shrunken testical support cruises!!!! A-rod enters politics, gets the republican presidential nom and runs on a platform exclusively dedicated to eliminating shrunken testicals in the USA and the world. He wins by a landslide and immediately nukes Russia because someone mentions what a set of balls Putin must have. Civilization as we know ends in a nuclear firestorm and millenia from now, the last remnants of the human race are lingering broadcasts into space mostly discussing shrunken testicals. The aliens who receive these broadcasts consider them worthless spam and delete them.

I wish my workplace considered a 2:30pm martini break to be acceptable.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Granted. It's perfectly acceptable to have a Martini break at 2.30pm at your workplace. Matter of fact, it is perfectly acceptable to start the morning with a corpse reviver, or eye opener, then around 11am you refresh yourselves with a stimulant, shortly followed by an appetizer. Of course you aid your digestion with a digestive, then said Martinis and lo- it's time for social drinks at 4pm, just like Toper's Timetable recommends.

The management however decided to call you back to work on Saturdays and Sundays, to make up for the slight drop in productivity, but none of you minds because you're all having a jolly good time, don't you, old sport.

I wish air con and cotton buds had never been invented.

This post has been edited by Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy: 13 September 2013 - 03:11 PM