Don't mess with Raccoons you perverts!

2 Pages
1
2
→

You cannot start a new topic
You cannot reply to this topic

Don't mess with Raccoons you perverts! Ouch

#1 teholbeddict

Drinking Queen of the Abyssmal Army!!!

Group: The Abyssmal Army
Posts: 1,344
Joined: 22-October 08
Location:Winnipeg MB Canada

Posted 28 January 2009 - 03:35 PM

All I have to say is it serves this idiot right! If we have any perverts of the same persuasion on the board here, reading this should make you think twice before you go after your next furry innocent victim! :respect:

http://austriantimes...ex.php?id=10795

Procrastination is like masturbation, you're only F ing yourself...
-Bubbalicious -

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr-

The only thing one can learn from one's past mistakes is how to repeat them exactly.
-Stone Monkey-

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes!
-Zanth13-

#2 Aptorian

How 'bout a hug?

Group: The Wheelchairs of War
Posts: 24,781
Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 28 January 2009 - 04:03 PM

My first thought was Austrian times, oh here we go... another pervert from austria, then it turned out to be a drunk russian and everything was alright.

1224761851439.jpg (14.51K)
Number of downloads: 4

#3 Mcflury

First Sword

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 561
Joined: 15-September 07
Location:Belgium
Interests:Reading, writing, partying, playing PC-games (mainly MMO's) and many more.

Posted 28 January 2009 - 04:37 PM

Jolly fellah...
the weirdest thing is actually that I have the impression the guy himself doesn't really mind that much... and his friends still find it rather funny it seems. (of course, it's hilarious, but one might expect some compassion from his friends... even though he completely brought it upon himself.)

Ah well, I guess the true lesson is: never underestimate our little masked fury friends!

Quick edit: hmm.. that description, little masked fury friends, makes me think of an incredibly hairy Seguleh. I guess it's safe to say you shouldn't underestimate them indeed...

This post has been edited by Mcflury: 28 January 2009 - 04:38 PM

"There is no struggle too vast no odds too overwhelming for even should we fail, should we fall, we will know that we have lived" - Anomander Rake
(From Toll the Hounds by Steven Erikson)

#4 Ain't_It_Just_

The Recidivist

Group: LHTEC
Posts: 2,369
Joined: 17-January 08
Location:Oz
Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
The AIJman cometh

Posted 29 January 2009 - 08:01 AM

I swear to god, ~~Australia~~Austria is full of crazies.

Will the raccoon receive trauma counselling?

Suck it Errant!

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.

#5 Bhurnae

Close to the hedge.........

Group: LHTEC
Posts: 274
Joined: 26-November 07
Location:Oxford , UK
Interests:all the usual stereotypical male ones

Posted 29 January 2009 - 08:25 AM

I wonder if his friends call him Nubknob now..................

Mezla PigDog, on 28 September 2009 - 09:34 PM, said:

I have been entertaining tourists for many years now.... A girls gotta make a living.

#6 Rich the Great

First Sword

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 543
Joined: 13-February 05

Posted 29 January 2009 - 11:36 AM

Goes to show, you can't put your penis into animals willy-nilly.

#7 Lisheo

Difference Engineer

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 2,306
Joined: 04-June 07
Location:Slowly returning, piece by piece.
Interests:All of the things.

Posted 29 January 2009 - 12:42 PM

Well, if he felt he needed to rape a racoon, I doubt he had very much use for the thing anyway.

“People have wanted to narrate since first we banged rocks together & wondered about fire. There’ll be tellings as long as there are any of us here, until the stars disappear one by one like turned-out lights.”
- China Mieville

#8 teholbeddict

Drinking Queen of the Abyssmal Army!!!

Group: The Abyssmal Army
Posts: 1,344
Joined: 22-October 08
Location:Winnipeg MB Canada

Posted 29 January 2009 - 02:49 PM

I still don't understand how you get from drinking with you friends on a weekend, to seeing a raccoon wander by and deciding your going to rape it! Plus were all of his friends just going to stand around watching this?! I think the whole group of them are seriously fucked! How is he ever going to explain this to any future human female partners. Can you imagine?! He's going to have to come up with some kind of cover story or something because no one in their right mind is going to want to touch an animal screwing pervert with a ten foot pole!

#9 Mcflury

First Sword

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 561
Joined: 15-September 07
Location:Belgium
Interests:Reading, writing, partying, playing PC-games (mainly MMO's) and many more.

Posted 29 January 2009 - 03:58 PM

Well, usually I would try to be funny and respond with something like: "Well, it's not as if the raccoon was screaming 'no' or anything; so it's not rape..." but I guess the fact that Mr Raccoon bit of the rapist's pencil some sort of means 'no' in raccoon language

To answer your question: if one of my friends would be incredibly pissed, and me drunk enough too, and my friend suddenly decided to try and rape a raccoon on the way home... well, I certainly would say something in the likes of: "WTF man? Are you mad or just stupid?", but if my friend then still would proceed to try and rape the raccoon, sure, I would watch. Not to see the rape of course (I would stop my friend from doing that, quite obviously) but I would watch to see if he can actually get hold of the raccoon, see him chase the little critter while he's completely un-sober.

So perhaps that's what this dude's friends did: stayed to watch how their friend would miserably fale at trying to catch a wild raccoon. Unfortunately, the raccoon had other plans (and probably was very hungry)

You know what would be extra funny? If the raccoon had rabies, and now the dude has them too

That would be like the weirdest STD ever

"There is no struggle too vast no odds too overwhelming for even should we fail, should we fall, we will know that we have lived" - Anomander Rake
(From Toll the Hounds by Steven Erikson)

#10 Stalker

House Knight

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 1,999
Joined: 09-October 08
Location:Upstate NY

Posted 29 January 2009 - 05:32 PM

I'm sorry, but I think this is hilarious, in a wrongish sort of way.

Something about you rape what you sow... hehe get it?

This post has been edited by Stalker: 29 January 2009 - 05:33 PM

#11 Mcflury

First Sword

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 561
Joined: 15-September 07
Location:Belgium
Interests:Reading, writing, partying, playing PC-games (mainly MMO's) and many more.

Posted 29 January 2009 - 06:20 PM

Stalker, on Jan 29 2009, 06:32 PM, said:

Something about you rape what you sow... hehe get it?

No. Please explain.

"There is no struggle too vast no odds too overwhelming for even should we fail, should we fall, we will know that we have lived" - Anomander Rake
(From Toll the Hounds by Steven Erikson)

#12 Dag

Burninating poodles since 1996

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 437
Joined: 12-March 07
Location:Vienna, Austria

Posted 29 January 2009 - 06:31 PM

Aptorian, on Jan 28 2009, 05:03 PM, said:

My first thought was Austrian times, oh here we go... another pervert from austria, then it turned out to be a drunk russian and everything was alright.

Ain't_It_Just_, on Jan 29 2009, 09:01 AM, said:

I swear to god, ~~Australia~~Austria is full of crazies.

Oh, thanks... wait till I tell this one to the raccoons in my cellar...

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

#13 Stalker

House Knight

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 1,999
Joined: 09-October 08
Location:Upstate NY

Posted 29 January 2009 - 07:00 PM

Mcflury, on Jan 29 2009, 01:20 PM, said:

Stalker, on Jan 29 2009, 06:32 PM, said:

Something about you rape what you sow... hehe get it?

No. Please explain.

It is a VERY bad pun on the idiom- you reap what you sow.
As in you get what is coming to you.

#14 Illuyankas

Retro Classic

Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
Posts: 7,254
Joined: 28-September 04
Will cluck you up

Posted 29 January 2009 - 07:25 PM

Plant oilseed rape, receive sexual assault?

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.

#15 RodeoRanch

The Midnight Special

Group: Administrators
Posts: 5,811
Joined: 01-January 03
Location:Alberta, Canada

Posted 29 January 2009 - 07:54 PM

They really are bandits!

#16 Mentalist

Martyr of High House Mafia

Group: High House Mafia
Posts: 9,500
Joined: 06-June 07
Location:'sauga/GTA, City of the Lion
Interests:Soccer, Chess, swimming, books, misc
Junior Mafia Mod

Posted 29 January 2009 - 09:12 PM

Russians always send their geneticaly inferior citizens abroad for vacations.

what we've seen here is the trial run of the experimental sterilization program...

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
THE CONTESTtm WINNER--чемпіон самоконтролю

Jump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.

#17 Sparkimus

afternoon delight

Group: Malaz Regular
Posts: 711
Joined: 29-December 07
Location:Clearwater, FL

Posted 29 January 2009 - 09:17 PM

I don't get it. Was the guy trying to get a blowjob from the fucking thing? If not then I can hardly see how he managed to let it get it's mouth anywhere near his junk.

QUOTE (Stalker @ Jan 23 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So last night I was walking downtown for some pizza at like 1am with some friends of mine,
and someone said, "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole pizza."

I said, "I bet I could eat 100 pizzas," and no one understood me. I was sad.

#18 teholbeddict

Drinking Queen of the Abyssmal Army!!!

Group: The Abyssmal Army
Posts: 1,344
Joined: 22-October 08
Location:Winnipeg MB Canada

Posted 29 January 2009 - 10:37 PM

Well I imagine it was probably struggling, not just sitting there waiting to be raped. Maybe it squirmed out of his grip or something. Raccoons are supposed to be fairly agile. Plus he was drunk enough to try to rpae the thing in the first place, maybe he couldn't tell which end was which!