[Mezla PigDog]

I just had a rather embarrassing few minutes sat in the lobby of my apartments waiting for the maintenance guy to come and let me back into my room after a freak gust of wind coincided with a trip to the bathroom which somehow combined to leave me locked out of my bedroom where everything I have with me is kept! Bereft of underwear and footwear, dressed only in light cotton trousers and a flimsy top, the minutes felt like hours. And it was cold too..... I had a good chat with the security guy about English football.

So now I want others to share embarrassing stories to make me feel better. I hope some of you are like me and manage to collect them by the bucket load.

Like, my first day at uni where I fell flat on my face in front of the people who would be in my class for 3 years. Or the first time I went to a Malazan Manky meetup wearing brand new gloves that had somehow smeared black ink all over my face and I didn't realise until I went to the bathroom 30minutes after my arrival (still can't believe nobody mentioned anything!!!). The first time I met my boyfriends best friends family, they opened the door to find me lying face first in a puddle after an accident with the garden steps and I spent the evening in their sons clothes while mine dried on the radiator. The 3hour train journey I spent wondering why people kept staring at me until I discovered I had a huge glob of chocolate right between my eyes (don't ask how it got there). I know there are others, but I think my mind has blocked them out!

[Sparkimus]

That's....astounding. I'll bet it makes for some memorable first impressions at least. Usually the most embarassing things I do are when I'm drunk beyond caring and usually don't remember them. My general motto is that if I can't remember it, it didn't happen.

[Mezla PigDog]

Drunk ones don't count because nothing is embarrassing when you are drunk!

[Binder of Demons]

Only one i can think of at the moment, was having to do an occupational health and safety course when working in a hospital. We got the most stupid (and often technically incorrect) lecture about anatomy and how to lift boxes etc.

Then the 3 of our group went back down to the lab, and were talking to the other staff members who would do the course the next day. Of course I'm standing there going on about how shit the course was and the instructor was listening outside the door. She then decides to come in and ask me what it was like in front of everyone else. Quite embarrassing until i decides "f#ck it" and told her i thought the course was the biggest waste of time ever. She didn't like me much after that?

[D'rek]

I was working at a hospital once and boss wanted to talk to me and a couple other workers, so I decided to take a seat since I'd been on my feet all day. Sat on fa little moving-cart thingy with wheels, but too close to the edge, and it slid out from under me and I ended on my ass on the floor. Got embarassedly blank stares for 3 minutes, then fired.

This post has been edited by D'rek: 25 January 2009 - 07:29 PM

[Macros]

this is very bizarre, I was thinking of startingt he very same thread this morning.
edit with my story to come after i read the others

[Mezla PigDog]

D'rek, on Jan 25 2009, 02:28 PM, said:

Got embarassedly blank stares for 3 minutes, then fired.

And fired to boot!! That is just adding insult to injury!

It reminds me of another one of mine though. I was in the postgrad bar at Bath Uni on a Friday night, as we regularly were back in those days. There were a couple of seriously fat guys in my group of friends. I was sat next to one of them and when he got up to go to the bar, I switched into his seat so I could speak to someone down the table. The seat collapsed into about 10 pieces beneath me, with a huge crack and loads of noise and I ended up sprawled on my back. The whole bar went silent and looked at me. I don't think there was a piano player playing, but if there had been, he would have stopped and looked at me over his shoulder. How could that happen to me after a tank had been sat there all night without a hitch?!?!

[RodeoRanch]

The crow hijacking my tractor was pretty embarassing.


Ripping the drivers door off my boss' truck in my first month of work there was bad too.

[Darkwatch]

In fourth grade at one point we decided to play "dodge ball", but with no court (and no real rules, just throw ball really hard to take anyone out), we played on the whole school yard.

Anyway the ball got kicked half way across the yard and we all start running. The ball is going off at slight bit of an angle and I'm folowing it hoping to intercept it. So I'm watching the ball and not where I'm running.

I run full speed head first into the solid metal pole of a basketball net. The sound of metal resonating, was incredible (or maybe that was my brain boncing around in my skull).
Anyway, I hit my head hard enough not to feel pain, only massive confusion as to why I was suddenly on the ground looking at the sky. Luckily not hard enough for a concussion.

Someone went to get a teacher, but the rest just laughed at the cartoon moment.

I suppose it doesn't really count, since being all knocked around I really didn't feel embarassed.

[Aptorian]

Ah, I remember a great story I posted here years ago.

This is pieced together from memory.

It was the 1st of may and everyone in Copenhagen goes to the Fælled Parken to celebrate workers rights, socialismen and other hippe things. Basically the park turns into a music festival for a day.

For some reason I don't recall I happened to meet one of my friends in the uni cafe, and he declared that we needed to go there and get pissed and shout abuse at all these red bastards and sing old fascist nationalist songs at the top of our lungs. Well, you can't really beat a proposal like that. So we stole half a case worth of cold beer from the coolers and set off for the metro, from where we'd walk down to the park. My friend had also planned ahead and brought a bottle or two of some kind of cherry liquer of some horrible kind. It was a hot day so we stopped at every bench and park on the way and got a couple of shots and opened a beer.

This is when, me getting in the mood for a massive bender, I decide to start calling up friends and getting them down there. I decide I need to call my friend Jacob who lives close by. The phone call went something like this:

Apt: *Somewhat drunk* "JACOB, FUCK MAN WE'RE GONNA GET WAAAASTED TODAY OLD BUDDY!!"
Voice on phone: "who is this?" *the voice is very faint*
Apt: "IT'S ME, APT! JACOB GET OFF THAT SLUTTY BLOND, YOU CALL A DOG, AND GET DOWN HERE! WE'RE GONNA GET SHITFACED!! OOOOHHH WEEEEE!!!
Voice: "Jacob?"
Apt: "YEAH, IT'S ME APT!"
Voice: "I... I can't. My back is broken..."
Apt: WHOOOOooohho.... wait... what?
Voice: "I'm in the hospital, dude. My back is broken."
Apt: "What?! What are you talking about?
Voice: "I'm in the hospital," Jacobs voice is all kinds of blurry.
Apt: *Now very worried, less drunk* "You broke your back?"
Voice: "Yeah, I fell through a roof".
Apt: "Shit dude, why didn't you call? Do the other guys know? I'm comming in to visit you."
Voice: *mumble, mumble*
Apt: "When can we drop in?"
Voice: "I'm going home to my parents."
Apt: "Okay, then we're comming down to Nykøbing."
Voice: "What? No man, I'm going home to my parents."
Apt: *Now sure he's dopped up on painkillers* Yeah, in Nykøbing."
Voice: "No dude, they live in "someplace someplace".
Apt: Jacob you're not making a god damn sense.
Voice: "I'm not Jacob"
Apt: "Wut?"
Voice: "I'm not Jacob, I'm [Apts name]..."
Apt: "No dude, I'm Apt. Jacob how many drugs are you on.
Voice: I'm not Jacob, you're jacob..."
Around this point I'm beginning to realise that I don't know this guy.
Apt: "Uhm... okay... I'm terribly sorry, but I think I have the wrong number..."
Voice: "Uhm, okay... uhhh"
Apt: "Anyway good luck with that" *Click*

Fuuuucck me, I just had a mistaken drunk dial up with a guy who broke his back. Shit that was weird. What's the chance of that? And how did his number get on my phone?

Well, no other choice but continue drinking. Which we then did.

Couple of hours later sitting on a lawn with the buddies, I get a wholed of Jacobs real number. Determined Jacob is going to get drunk with us I dial him up:

Apt: *Even more drunk than before* JACOOOOOOBBBBB!!! WHOOOOO!!! COME DOWN HERE DUDE! THERE's BEER AND CHICKS AND MUSIC AND MUSICBEER AND... AND BEEEERR!!FUUCCK!!! JACOB YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THE SET OF TITS ON THIS GIRL NEXT TO ME! MARTIN JUST THREW UP AT A HOTDOG STAND! IT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!
Voice: "uuhm... who is this?"
Apt: BEEEEER AND LOOSE WOMEN, JACOB!!! IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE IN TEN MINUTES, YOU HAVE GIVEN UP THE RIGHT TO CALL YOURSELF A MAN. YOU'RE A WOMAN WHICH MEANS YOU'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO VOTE AND HAVE TO SPEND YOUR LIFE DOWN AT THE TRAINSTATION GIVING REACHAROUNDS!!! *I must have been blabbering for minutes before I shut up again*
Voice: "Uhhm... dude, my back is broken... I'm in the hospital, dude...*
Apt: "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU.... Oh shit, man, I'm so sorry, somehow I called you again by accident... uhm... sorry... I... *Click*

My friends are staring at me and my look of complete embarrased confusion. I tell them what I just did and every one bursts out laughing because they are nice people.

But it gets worse.

Turns out as one of my friends explains that [Apt] whom I share my name, is a friend of my friends that I met last summer at the Roskilde Festival. We were constantly drunk for a week and somehow I'd managed to encode his number together with my friend Jacobs number. So, I had known the guy, and he had known me, and I'd drunk dialled him twice, shouting and abusing him and then hung up like the ass that I am twice.

I have since bought him a round of beer.

[Bhurnae]

RodeoRanch, on Jan 25 2009, 08:11 PM, said:

The crow hijacking my tractor was pretty embarassing.

Classic!!! That one should have been stickied.................I blame Brood

[Ain't_It_Just_]

I was young and stupid but anyway...

My mum and I went to a soccer game of my brothers. Parking was chockablock so we had to park a fair way from the pitch. I was at the age where parents don't let you open a window without a signed note. So, I was left locked in the car. Might seem a little...eh...wrong (can't think of another word) but I was used to it. i sat there, doing kiddy things like staring out the window.

Suddenly my bowels give me a reminder of the huge breakfast I'd had. I desperately tried to ignore it-I even cried because I felt better while doing it. But it was no use. I shouted myself hoarse but no-one heard my hollers. I had to shit and the car was locked.

....You can guess what happened. When my dear old ma returned I got the third degree and tasked with cleaning the seat.

I laugh at it now but Christ...

[Dr Trouble]

Your parents are fucked AIJ. They made YOU clean the car after THEY locked you in it. I would have called child services.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Please don't dob them in Trub...they're pretty nice and I got them at half-price.

[Soulessdreamer]

So I was about 14 and I had this crush on a girl. She would spend the weekend with her mate who lived across the street and we had hung out and flirted a few times but I could never get her alone to make a move. So I get the bright Idea of sending her a letter half as a joke with explicit details of what I would like to do to her.

The Idea was to get her hot without becoming depraved and be able to laugh it off as a joke if she wasn't interested. She told me it worked to execpt that her father found the letter on her bed (she had shared it with her twin sister) and rang my parents to inform them to keep there deviant son away from his daughter. To make matters worse he sent the letter to my parents so they could read it and wouldn't allow the girl to visit anymore so her friend got pissed off at me to.

TTFN

[Cougar]

So here's a story this makes me cringe even writing it:

There was this hot girl in my German Post War class at Uni and we used to talk and flirt etc. One night we met by chance in a poular night spot and proceeded to get off with each other, she took my number etc. A week or so later she hasn't called, bugger, but I see her and say casually how about a date, she obviously gets that I'm into her and coyly says she's going on holiday and will call me when back.

A day or two later I am at this party and telling my freinds how hot she is and that I'm anoyed she hasn't called when all of a sudden I get a text supposedly from her asking if I want to meet up (I didn't have her number) and cos I'm drunk I just overreacted punching the air, high fives etc, thing is it wasn't her it was my mates using another guys phone that I didn't have the number for. Seeing my reaction they had to tell me and I was crushed inside, well as much as you can be if you pretty drunk, but I am at the very least accutely aware that I have made a tit of myself. I let it settle in for a minute then exploded with anger, ended up fighting in the street, all very undiginified, riddled with regret the following morning and very embarrased.

The story does ultimately have a happy ending once she finally did get in touch herself.

[ch'arlz]

In high school many years ago, I had been on the ski team for a couple years doing just Alpine events when the coach decided he needed more people for ski jumping. Just as some people believe you can teach a kid to swim by throwing them off a dock, they strapped these mf'ing huge skis on me and pushed me onto the ramp. As the lip of the jump approached, my mind/body decided this wasn't really such a great idea and tried to stop. My momentum, however, carried me over the lip onto the outrun where I landed on my butt and my jeans left a blue streak about 30 yards long before I finally skidded to a stop. When I looked up everybody was doubled over with laughter. I wasn't so much embarrassed then as glad to be alive and uninjured, but that story was retold at my expense for years afterward.

[Mcflury]

Okay, here are my most embarrassing moments:

- I used to to do athletics, and also joined in on competitions, even though I never won (the next few moments will make it quite clear why I never won: I'm simply a giant cock-up). Now, I had to.. euh... forgot the name of the discipline in english, but you need to jump as high as possible (is it called High jumping?) over a bar, held there by two poles. Now, as you might or might not know, whilest doing that the athletes wear 'spikes' which are shoes with metals pins on the bottom to have a better grip on the ground so you can get more speed and thus be able to jump higher. You also get two tries for each height, if you don't get over it by then you're out of the game. Anyhew, it was my turn to jump. First try. I run, though I take my bend a bit incorrectly, am running too far to the side of the mat, jump and.... hit the pole straight on (so I didn't hit the horizontal bar, well, I hit it too, but the thing I jumped head first against was the vertical pole). Anyhew, I land on the mat, everybody is quite shocked, they don't get how someone can actually jump against that pole (and believe me, it's rather hard... I probably even would have to try very hard to do it again now), at that moment I see the pole I jumped against is tumbling over and is about to fall straight on a little girl's head. I reach out and grab the pole in time, though it's still rather embarassing that I jumped against the pole.
Ah well, second try. No big shame in the first try if I do this one correctly. I run, jump, alas, hit the bar and land on the mat. At least I didn't jump against the pole this time I thought. So I get up, but as I do so I accidently stand with one foot on the inside of my own freaking leg, set all weight on my foot and 'rip'... my leg was bleeding rather hard I still have the scar on my leg, about 5 cm long. Pretty impressive if it wouldn't have been my own clumsyness causing it.

- Now, my specialty in athletics wasn't the jumping or running, it was the throwing sports (mainly spear, loved that one, was quite decent at it too), but as a thrower you also have this discipline named 'disc-throwing'. Anyhew, we decided to throw discs for sport at my highschool once for PE. Of course, quite many people knew I used to do that as a sport, so they expect me to be quite good at it. Everybody (well, most) go before me and actually throw pretty decent. Barely any hits the nets, most even throw decent distances. My turn's up. I expect great things of myself, probably a few friends expect some shit too. I thwirl and throw and... blam, throw the disc straight into the nets. Of course, shit may happen, but as it turned out I released my disc half a circle too soon and threw the disc basically right the opposite way of where I was supposed to throw. To make things worse some idiots were standing behind me, waiting to throw, inside the nets (a thing that usually is forbidden, for the exact reason of what happened the next second). My disc of course was stopped by the nets and came tumbling down... straight on some kid's head. Luckily the main velocity of the disc had gone, but it probably still hurt as hell. (In my defence: my trainer at athletics had never bothered to teach me that twirl-throw they do, so when my PE instructor told me to do it I didn't really knew how to do it, and thus it was the first time I ever did it. Of course, everyone else managed just fine, so it was still embarassing to me)

- My first love. A very cute, pretty girl, I was crushed on her and decided I wanted to find out how she felt about me. Of course, I didn't have the balls to just walk up to her and tell her I love her and wonder if she loves me too (still don't for that matter, but got a bit better at it) and so I decided to write a note. Now, my writing is terrible, completely unreadible by most, so I decided to write the note in capitals. Okay, note written, class over, I approach her, give her the letter and go stand outside, waiting for her (or Godot for that matter) to see what would happen next. 5 minutes pass, nobody comes out the classroom. I'm starting to get kind of worried, and am having a faint clue she might not be intrested in me after all. Anyhew, I proceed doing my shit, and a minute after her best friend (and also a pretty good friend of mine) approaches me and asks "Hey, Pieter, that note... Was that yours or Jan's?" (Jan was a good a friend of mine who sat besides me in class) I told her it was mine, and she told me "ah, k, we weren't sure. We thought the writing was Jan's and he perhaps had asked you to give her the note." Of course, I kinda wanted to scream 'WTF? Jan's writing? THEY'RE FUCKING CAPITAL LETTERS!!! THEY'RE EVERYONE'S WRITING!!!' but since I'm a pretty decent guy (at times) I just said "Heh, no... it was my note." after which my girlfriend said "yeah, I told her it would be yours too. Just wanted to be sure. Anyways, she told me to tell you she's not intrested. Don't get her wrong though. She likes you... a lot... but only as a friend, not as in boyfriend/girlfriend like you...". (do note the 'she likes you as a friend' part, basically every other girl I ever loved since that day for the next 6 or 7 years came up with that same responce. Oh boy did I after a while wish I wanted such a good friend...)
Back to the story though: I took the hit as it came, got over it (you play, you lose) and decided I would try not to act all different about it or anything. However, like half a year after the girl I was in love with never talked to me again unless she really had to. It was a pretty embarassing moment (because she had dragged all her friends in it because she hadn't known how to react) and eventually it was my first love ever, and she had trampled my heart in quite a rough manner.

- My brother catching me masturbating. Also rather embarassing. (it's a thing that can happen really easily if people around you in the house never knock before entering. ALWAYS KNOCK!!)

There are thousands of other embarassing moments still, but most of those weren't so obviously embarassing to the rest of the world (I got quite good at hiding my idiotic moments by then) so I won't 'show off' with them here yet. Unless of course you all insist on it

[Mezla PigDog]

Just to make myself feel better, I will post the most embarrassing thing that I ever saw happen to someone else!! I am really grateful it wasn't me!

At a high school assembly where the whole school (about 800 11-16yr olds) and all the teachers turn out to be lectured about rubbish, one of the girls in my class had to stand up on the podium and give a reading for the Harvest Festival. When she had finished, she sat back down on her chair on the podium but the back legs slipped off the back of the stage and she fell backwards. The whole school saw her knickers and promptly burst into hysterics. It took about 15minutes for the teachers to regain control. It was hilarious being told to stop laughing by teachers who were wiping tears of hysteria from their eyes. For the rest of the assembly, we would intermittently get in trouble as pockets around the room burst into laughter at the memory. They cut it short in the end because we just couldn't contain ourselves!

That poor girl! She was given the chair with a huge bow on it at my years leaving party.

[Darkwatch]

Mezla PigDog, on Jan 26 2009, 12:46 PM, said:

That poor girl! She was given the chair with a huge bow on it at my years leaving party.

Wow, talk about adding insult to injury.