Thanks to my conversations with Gem Windcaster, Bubba and Cold Iron, amongst others, I have discovered the bible. Ha! You say, we've all known of it for ages, but to that I reply. "Have you now, have you really?" And the reason I say this is because i makes for fascinating reading and I would recommend it to anyone. Some of the protagonists have already discussed most of the first two chapters in the thread "Here's one for all of you." but here is a brief outline:
Chapter 1. God creates earth and the heavens and the animals and the sea monsters and man and gives mankind dominion over creation and he does it in 6 days and on Sunday he puts his feet up and relaxes. Its all a bit fishy with regards to how the whole creation thingy is envisaged and I'm fairly certain that I do not subscribe to the ideas laid out.
Chapter 2. God creates Adam and then creates all the animals and then Eve and the garden of Eden, which lies eastward. A slight continuity error, but never mind. He then commands that the tree of knowledge remain untouched. Which is a bit silly of God really, because of the whole taboo thing. But I think its all part of the plan, seeing as he invented man and is omnipotent, he knew that eventually Adam would probably have some of that.
In Chapter 3 and here it is in all its glory:
Quote
1 Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman: 'Yea, hath God said: Ye shall not eat of any tree of the garden?' 2 And the woman said unto the serpent: 'Of the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said: Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.' 4 And the serpent said unto the woman: 'Ye shall not surely die; 5 for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as God, knowing good and evil.' 6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat; and she gave also unto her husband with her, and he did eat. 7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig-leaves together, and made themselves girdles. 8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden toward the cool of the day; and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. 9 And the LORD God called unto the man, and said unto him: 'Where art thou?' 10 And he said: 'I heard Thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.' 11 And He said: 'Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?' 12 And the man said: 'The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.' 13 And the LORD God said unto the woman: 'What is this thou hast done?' And the woman said: 'The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.' 14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent: 'Because thou hast done this, cursed art thou from among all cattle, and from among all beasts of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life. 15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; they shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise their heel.' {S} 16 Unto the woman He said: 'I will greatly multiply thy pain and thy travail; in pain thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.' {S} 17 And unto Adam He said: 'Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying: Thou shalt not eat of it; cursed is the ground for thy sake; in toil shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life. 18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken; for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.' 20 And the man called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. 21 And the LORD God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins, and clothed them. {P}
22 And the LORD God said: 'Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever.' 23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. 24 So He drove out the man; and He placed at the east of the garden of Eden the cherubim, and the flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way to the tree of life. {S}
As you can see, it was the serpent that did it for Adam and Eve. But rather than hating the serpent, I've become a huge fan. The reason is simple. None of us would have been here if Adam had not been turfed out of Eden. In fact Eve only became able to conceive children after tasting of the fruit, when God decreed that she would only be able to bring forth children in pain. Praise be to the serpent! That tree of knowledge was a bit crap really, if all it let Adam know about was the fact that his nik naks are hanging in the wind, poor show. Also I'd like to point out that when turfed out of Eden God decreed that he would till the earth and whatnot and eat bread. This is very interesting because it was only until about ten thousand years ago (according to physical evidence from archaeologists around the world) that we were hunter gatherers. And if anyone sees a little angelic creature with a big burning sword let us know, so I can have a taste of that tree of knowledge, because I need to know that my nik naks are safely in my shorts.
So you see, the serpent is not evil at all, and in fact kick started humanity. So when you see a snake don't stamp upon its head, let it go on its merry way. All hail the snake! Love thy snake! Oi, keep your hand away from your trousers