[worry]

Good evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Bin Lorry.

[Gorefest]

Props. I can see the comparison. Terrorists, like bin men, don't get any formal training. They just pick it up as they go along.

[Maark Abbott]

There's a 99 problems joke in that photo but I'm not brave enough to make it.

[Abyss]

Garbage.

[amphibian]

A co-worker in an office group of 4 has gotten rather unpleasant to work with. It's to the point where I, my boss, and exec assistant find ourselves apologizing to each other and others externally for the rude comments and actions. It's gotten public on occasion and has been surprisingly unprofessional for someone who's been doing higher level jobs like this one for close to 20 years.

I fully trust my boss on how she's handling this, yet it's really irksome at times because I am the most frequent target of the rudeness. This coworker really knows her work related stuff in so many ways and absolutely has the capability to not be as rude or dismissive when each of us three try to gently bring this up with her, so it's been puzzling for us all in dealing with this.

The specific flavor appears to be that any possibility of being left out - as in if I am assigned a task that doesn't include her - causes her to get inappropriately angry and if my boss ever engages in small talk with the various agency representatives or outside stakeholders, she loathes that so much it is apparent on her face for the entire meeting. There's also been disappearances from ordered appearances without communication and very brusque communication with big group planning projects.

My boss has ordered me to document things since early December, which has been both easy to do and absolutely something I wish wasn't a necessity because I rather badly want to work well with everyone. It's also a near waste of our collective time because the fixes are relatively easy to make in a communication sense.

I've been mostly internally checking and re-checking my communication and actions to make sure none of the emotional stuff from the almost finished divorce process has been leaking out or coming into things inappropriately. That's been fortunately rock solid and it's been relieving to get stellar feedback from the other coworkers and family + friends on my communication and actions.

[Lady Bliss]

Hey this is a long time coming, but my health issues have really been bothering me. Thanks to everyone for all of the kind words and help with my financial problem. It really meant a lot that you care. I’m still on the Job market and it does appear to be picking up. In the meantime, does anyone know how best to sell antique china or engagement rings?

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 17 January 2023 - 10:18 PM

[Lady Bliss]

amphibian, on 17 January 2023 - 07:07 PM, said:

A co-worker in an office group of 4 has gotten rather unpleasant to work with. It's to the point where I, my boss, and exec assistant find ourselves apologizing to each other and others externally for the rude comments and actions. It's gotten public on occasion and has been surprisingly unprofessional for someone who's been doing higher level jobs like this one for close to 20 years.

I fully trust my boss on how she's handling this, yet it's really irksome at times because I am the most frequent target of the rudeness. This coworker really knows her work related stuff in so many ways and absolutely has the capability to not be as rude or dismissive when each of us three try to gently bring this up with her, so it's been puzzling for us all in dealing with this.

The specific flavor appears to be that any possibility of being left out - as in if I am assigned a task that doesn't include her - causes her to get inappropriately angry and if my boss ever engages in small talk with the various agency representatives or outside stakeholders, she loathes that so much it is apparent on her face for the entire meeting. There's also been disappearances from ordered appearances without communication and very brusque communication with big group planning projects.

My boss has ordered me to document things since early December, which has been both easy to do and absolutely something I wish wasn't a necessity because I rather badly want to work well with everyone. It's also a near waste of our collective time because the fixes are relatively easy to make in a communication sense.

I've been mostly internally checking and re-checking my communication and actions to make sure none of the emotional stuff from the almost finished divorce process has been leaking out or coming into things inappropriately. That's been fortunately rock solid and it's been relieving to get stellar feedback from the other coworkers and family + friends on my communication and actions.

Please document everything and go to HR. I’ve had that bite me in the ass before.

[amphibian]

Lady Bliss, on 17 January 2023 - 10:16 PM, said:

Hey this is a long time coming, but my health issues have really been bothering me. Thanks to everyone for all of the kind words and help with my financial problem. It really meant a lot that you care. I’m still on the Job market and it does appear to be picking up. In the meantime, does anyone know how best to sell antique china or engagement rings?

Fbook marketplace is probably the best fast way for the china. The rings are tough because there's not a market for most of them beyond materials, you can try eBay or going to a jewelry store.

[Abyss]

Lady Bliss, on 17 January 2023 - 10:28 PM, said:

amphibian, on 17 January 2023 - 07:07 PM, said:

A co-worker in an office group of 4 has gotten rather unpleasant to work with. ...

Please document everything and go to HR. I've had that bite me in the ass before.

Agreed re 'document everything'. Absolutely document the hell out of everything.

HR... just my useless $0.02CAN, unless you're planning on bringing a harassment/bullying/other complaint against the individual for action directed at you personally I would not do that. You might ask the manager who asked you to document everything whether they think you should speak w HR (but do not ask whether they have spoken w HR - not your business) so the point has at least been raised.

[Lady Bliss]

Abyss, on 18 January 2023 - 05:32 PM, said:

Lady Bliss, on 17 January 2023 - 10:28 PM, said:

amphibian, on 17 January 2023 - 07:07 PM, said:

A co-worker in an office group of 4 has gotten rather unpleasant to work with. ...

Please document everything and go to HR. I've had that bite me in the ass before.

Agreed re 'document everything'. Absolutely document the hell out of everything.

HR... just my useless $0.02CAN, unless you're planning on bringing a harassment/bullying/other complaint against the individual for action directed at you personally I would not do that. You might ask the manager who asked you to document everything whether they think you should speak w HR (but do not ask whether they have spoken w HR - not your business) so the point has at least been raised.

I have to agree here. If the manager has done nothing and you have it documented, HR can prevent you from retribution.

[amphibian]

I am not at the stage where I'm escalating to HR. I have had serious conversations with my boss about this situation and I trust her process in attempting to resolve this without going that direction. It's an option for later, but it's something of a nuclear option in an office of 4 people (within a much larger state bureaucracy). Current course seems to be to have us not work together much - which doesn't address her issue of not wanting to be left out, but does reduce the number of occasions where she's going to be unprofessional to me directly. Boss has been speaking with her boss and trusted mentor (who is a genuine superstar with serious interpersonal political skills), so that makes me feel much better about how this is being handled.

Boss indicates this is happening because 1) co-worker is somewhat default rude and 2) there's a general concept this co-worker can't let go of regarding the co-worker being "above me" and the rights/benefits of that status. Boss is working on seeing if she can demolish that second concept, even though it was clearly stated in job descriptions, initial hiring talks, and practice for 6+ months now.

Co-worker has been shockingly rude to Boss as well, which is its own thing separate from me. I think Co-worker really wants to be in the boss role and that's not going to happen, which makes this particularly weird.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 20 January 2023 - 07:12 PM

[Maark Abbott]

I've had to deal with that sort before. From my experience there isn't anything that will change them bar the top boss telling them to gioerwirremsens. If they're constantly rude to the direct boss, it smells like they're used to being in a position of power over others and feel threatened now that they're not. We used to have someone who worked at our place who was like that and she was just INSUFFERABLE.

[worry]

Mods -- INSUFFERABLE is book 6 of the INCARNATE series, please mark that as a spam post.

[amphibian]

Pardon me, what is gioerwirremsens?

The intraoffice rudeness did start with the coworker being shitty to our wonderful executive assistant, then it happened to me, then to boss. It was an actual progression.

INSOUCIANT is book 5 though, Worry. It's a gradation thing Maark's going for.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

It means to tell them to "give over", or essentially, "stop it". Yorkshire is a very odd dialect! (I'm allowed to say it, it's mine too!)

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 22 January 2023 - 08:46 AM

[Tiste Simeon]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 21 January 2023 - 05:03 PM, said:

It means to tell them to "give over", or essentially, "stop it". Yorkshire is a very odd dialectlanguage of t'gods!

FTFY

[Maark Abbott]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 21 January 2023 - 05:03 PM, said:

It means to tell them to "give over", or essentially, "stop it". Yorkshire is a very odd dialect! (I'm allowed to say it, it's mine too!)

I wish I was joking when I say that when I moved here my wife had to translate it into actual English for me.

But yes it's a very fun dialect to use in conversation, especially when you type it out and realise that when it's not used orally it just looks like absolute gibberish.

[Maark Abbott]

Broke a fucking cymbal at band practice last night. This is the first cymbal I've broken in sixteen years.

The really galling thing is that whilst wife is off work, I can't consider replacing it. And even if I could, an equivalent cymbal is in the region of £300 now (it was £150 or so when I bought it). Devastated.

[worry]

Now that's what I call heavy handed cymbalism.

[QuickTidal]

My poor son had a fall at indoor soccer (on his face) as his legs got tangled up under him. I leapt up and ran to him as fast as I could and comforted him, but I knew it would be bad. Lots of blood, and upon inspection his front tooth was bent back. Took him to the emergency dentist and they did X-rays. Tooth was snapped/broken so they had to remove it. Root is still there, and it's a baby tooth so the adult tooth SHOULD eventually push that out and slot into place....but still, the poor lad was traumatized by the whole thing.

We took him to get a toy as he was super brave at the dentist, and he had some ice cream and other treats at home to help him feel better. Tooth Fairy visited him, so that's a silver lining he liked.