[Abyss]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 14 November 2022 - 03:36 PM, said:

I'm so sorry QT. Nothing I can add except love to you and your family.

amphibian, on 14 November 2022 - 03:39 PM, said:

You're handling this as best as a human possibly could. You're arranging for time with her, staying connected to your family, and grieving in a super understandable way.

I'm sorry it's happening and I hope she's able to go in a way she's ok with.

Tiste Simeon, on 14 November 2022 - 04:19 PM, said:

QT there's nothing easy about this and I'm so sorry you're going through it.

For what it's worth, IMO "Night night mum, I love you" is one of the better last phrases to say to someone.

worry, on 14 November 2022 - 08:15 PM, said:

Maximum love, QT.

Slow Ben, on 14 November 2022 - 08:30 PM, said:

That really sucks QT.

And there's nothing wrong with letting yourself be broken for a bit after this. It's your mom, man.

All of this^.

[Cyphon]

Thinking of you QT, really sucks mate.

[Lady Bliss]

Loves to you qt. We are here for you.

[Maark Abbott]

Strength to ya mate. If you need us, you know where we are.

[QuickTidal]

Thanks to all. Your support means an awful lot to me.

[Maark Abbott]

I can't go too much into it due to reasons but we're having a hell of a time with wife's work.

She's been attacked there (again) and injured as a result, A&E yesterday described it as sort of like whiplash by the doctor there, is off until Sunday, but her work are only giving her SSP (despite it being their fault she's injured) and when she transfers to nights on Sunday she will receive no enhancements for the night shift.

So not only is there the worry about her health, there's also a worry financially as well due to the loss of income.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Maark Abbott, on 16 November 2022 - 08:44 AM, said:

I can't go too much into it due to reasons but we're having a hell of a time with wife's work.

She's been attacked there (again) and injured as a result, A&E yesterday described it as sort of like whiplash by the doctor there, is off until Sunday, but her work are only giving her SSP (despite it being their fault she's injured) and when she transfers to nights on Sunday she will receive no enhancements for the night shift.

So not only is there the worry about her health, there's also a worry financially as well due to the loss of income.

That's horrid. I hope she recovers quickly - is there any reasonable chance of transferring to do the same job somewhere else (sorry, I don't know what she does so this might not be feasible). Is it an issue of a specific awful company or more the sector she's in?

[Maark Abbott]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 16 November 2022 - 11:20 AM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 16 November 2022 - 08:44 AM, said:

I can't go too much into it due to reasons but we're having a hell of a time with wife's work.

She's been attacked there (again) and injured as a result, A&E yesterday described it as sort of like whiplash by the doctor there, is off until Sunday, but her work are only giving her SSP (despite it being their fault she's injured) and when she transfers to nights on Sunday she will receive no enhancements for the night shift.

So not only is there the worry about her health, there's also a worry financially as well due to the loss of income.

That's horrid. I hope she recovers quickly - is there any reasonable chance of transferring to do the same job somewhere else (sorry, I don't know what she does so this might not be feasible). Is it an issue of a specific awful company or more the sector she's in?

Partially a sector issue (SEN/LD care), partially on the company for improperly housing someone at her site, partially her company are just being twats.

There are other similar jobs elsewhere that I've said she should look at and we're speaking to her union as well. It's shite right now.

[Maark Abbott]

OH GOD SHE FOUND ANOTHER JOB AND CAN START MONDAY thank the fucking heavens

[Slow Ben]

Hell yeah Maark. That’s awesome news!

[Tiste Simeon]

Maark Abbott, on 16 November 2022 - 02:40 PM, said:

OH GOD SHE FOUND ANOTHER JOB AND CAN START MONDAY thank the fucking heavens

Freaking awesome man, very glad for the both of you!

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

That's wonderful news! Here's hoping the new one is much better!

[Maark Abbott]

She's gonna be working as a teaching assistant / receptionist at a local SEN school, and signing on with the staffing agency she used to book cover for her now former employer via as a locum, so she should be able to make any deficit back (and the agency pays weekly, too). Thanks guys, I am mostly just really relieved that she'll be safe at work again.

So yeah now my gripes turn to the weather because grinding constant rain sets my anxiety off even though we got stuff sorted before. Propanolol goooooooooo!

[QuickTidal]

Last Wednesday my mom decided that she wanted to choose medically assisted dying. My sister and I went to be with her at the hospital for the last time. My uncle, and my stepdad were there.

On Wednesday night I checked with her to confirm this was indeed what she wanted. She said yes. She wanted control over when it happens VS facing a heart attack, or stroke, or pneumonia that was caused by her weakened immune system. She could no longer her move her legs, and she had multiple blood clots in her legs and lungs.

We sat with her that night till she said she wanted to rest. We stayed nearby in a hotel to be there in the morning when it was scheduled to take place.

I spent an hour with her Thursday morning, played her music she liked, told her all the things I wanted to tell her and to thank for everything she’d done for me. I cried a lot a she told me not to cry. She told my sister and I how proud she was of us.

I showed her video of my kids telling her how much they loved her and she would be their Christmas angel now (she loved Christmas), and she loudly told my phone how much she loved them back.

The doctor came in to explain what was going to happen, and in what order.

My stepdad left the room, he could not bring himself to stay. My sister stayed till mom closed her eyes asleep, but I stayed until the end and held her hand. She told me she was ready to go, but she needed someone to hold her hand, so I did that. It was hard, but she was my mom and I needed to stay with her.

My mom died at 8:25 on Thursday morning from a long battle with cancer.

I miss her intensely. I feel a great gaping hole in my life.

[Lady Bliss]

QuickTidal, on 20 November 2022 - 01:11 PM, said:

Last Wednesday my mom decided that she wanted to choose medically assisted dying. My sister and I went to be with her at the hospital for the last time. My uncle, and my stepdad were there.

On Wednesday night I checked with her to confirm this was indeed what she wanted. She said yes. She wanted control over when it happens VS facing a heart attack, or stroke, or pneumonia that was caused by her weakened immune system. She could no longer her move her legs, and she had multiple blood clots in her legs and lungs.

We sat with her that night till she said she wanted to rest. We stayed nearby in a hotel to be there in the morning when it was scheduled to take place.

I spent an hour with her Thursday morning, played her music she liked, told her all the things I wanted to tell her and to thank for everything she’d done for me. I cried a lot a she told me not to cry. She told my sister and I how proud she was of us.

I showed her video of my kids telling her how much they loved her and she would be their Christmas angel now (she loved Christmas), and she loudly told my phone how much she loved them back.

The doctor came in to explain what was going to happen, and in what order.

My stepdad left the room, he could not bring himself to stay. My sister stayed till mom closed her eyes asleep, but I stayed until the end and held her hand. She told me she was ready to go, but she needed someone to hold her hand, so I did that. It was hard, but she was my mom and I needed to stay with her.

My mom died at 8:25 on Thursday morning from a long battle with cancer.

I miss her intensely. I feel a great gaping hole in my life.

OMG I cried as I read this. You are a wonderful son, and she will be your angel forever. Hugs.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

QuickTidal, on 20 November 2022 - 01:11 PM, said:

Last Wednesday my mom decided that she wanted to choose medically assisted dying. My sister and I went to be with her at the hospital for the last time. My uncle, and my stepdad were there.

On Wednesday night I checked with her to confirm this was indeed what she wanted. She said yes. She wanted control over when it happens VS facing a heart attack, or stroke, or pneumonia that was caused by her weakened immune system. She could no longer her move her legs, and she had multiple blood clots in her legs and lungs.

We sat with her that night till she said she wanted to rest. We stayed nearby in a hotel to be there in the morning when it was scheduled to take place.

I spent an hour with her Thursday morning, played her music she liked, told her all the things I wanted to tell her and to thank for everything she'd done for me. I cried a lot a she told me not to cry. She told my sister and I how proud she was of us.

I showed her video of my kids telling her how much they loved her and she would be their Christmas angel now (she loved Christmas), and she loudly told my phone how much she loved them back.

The doctor came in to explain what was going to happen, and in what order.

My stepdad left the room, he could not bring himself to stay. My sister stayed till mom closed her eyes asleep, but I stayed until the end and held her hand. She told me she was ready to go, but she needed someone to hold her hand, so I did that. It was hard, but she was my mom and I needed to stay with her.

My mom died at 8:25 on Thursday morning from a long battle with cancer.

I miss her intensely. I feel a great gaping hole in my life.

I just cried too. What a wonderful thing you gave her to be with her at the end, QT. As much as it's horribly sad to read I am happy for your mum that she could go on her terms in a way she chose, I only wish we allowed this in the UK.

Love to you and your family x

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 20 November 2022 - 01:46 PM

[Aptorian]

I'm glad your family got to choose the time and place for your mom's passing QT. Nothing is going to lesson the pain but at least you did it on her terms. What matters is that you were there for her.

[Gorefest]

Sorry for your loss, QT. There is nothing to say to soften the blow, but I am happy for you that she could do it on her own terms and with all her loved ones present.

[Slow Ben]

You’re a good kid QT. You’re mom was lucky to have you there with her.

[Cyphon]

So sorry to hear QT, but glad that your mum was able to do it on her terms and you could be there for her in the end.