[Dutch]

Sorry to hear Simeon

[Macros]

holy shit my condolences Tiste, thats horrible news to hear

[Puck]

So sorry to hear that, Simeon Thinking of you and yours and hoping that the uncertainly can be resolved as soon as possible.

[amphibian]

worry, on 19 April 2017 - 08:17 PM, said:

That's awful, Sim. Frustration is already such a big byproduct of grief, but when it's there from before, as a basic ingredient, it can make things feel out of whack even more. Just remember all your emotional responses, across the map, are valid...and just keep being there for your folks, as much as you can.

These are great words to remember.

Hope there's a resolution soon to his whereabouts and that you come to terms with this, Tiste Simeon.

[Morgoth]

Tiste Simeon, on 19 April 2017 - 07:51 PM, said:

Um... So my brother went missing on Saturday night. Sunday during the day the local police state all evidence points to the fact that he jumped off the Humber Bridge and died.

The boy was an idiot and caused no end of problems for my parents, was on who knows what drugs and had who knows what mental health conditions (often refused to believe anything Doctors told him and walked away from help when it was offered) but dang. It hurts still.

The worst part is the police have no idea when they might find a body so we're all suck in a horrible limbo state, can't organise a funeral or anything like that...

Can I ask that no one post anything publicly if you know me on Facebook. We're telling people but not making any public posts. We're at my parents now and supporting them, especially my mum.

Thanks for letting me ramble sometimes I find writing stuff helps me clear my head...

Shit man, my deepest condolences.

[Centzon Totochtin]

There are no words Sim, but know we are thinking of your and your family and forums are always here if you need somewhere/someones to talk/vent to!

[QuickTidal]

Oh gods, that's terrible Tiste. You have my condolences.

[Loki]

Jack Kirby's centenary and Marvel respond by fucking over his legacy with their stupid fucking Secret Empires crap.

I just dropped every non-X-Men title from my pull-list. Going to use the considerable amount of cash that frees up to pick up more indie titles.

[Andorion]

Tiste Simeon, on 19 April 2017 - 07:51 PM, said:

Um... So my brother went missing on Saturday night. Sunday during the day the local police state all evidence points to the fact that he jumped off the Humber Bridge and died.

The boy was an idiot and caused no end of problems for my parents, was on who knows what drugs and had who knows what mental health conditions (often refused to believe anything Doctors told him and walked away from help when it was offered) but dang. It hurts still.

The worst part is the police have no idea when they might find a body so we're all suck in a horrible limbo state, can't organise a funeral or anything like that...

Can I ask that no one post anything publicly if you know me on Facebook. We're telling people but not making any public posts. We're at my parents now and supporting them, especially my mum.

Thanks for letting me ramble sometimes I find writing stuff helps me clear my head...

Please accept my condolences. I am so sorry for you and your family. I hope you get some sort of closure soon.

[Andorion]

QuickTidal, on 18 April 2017 - 03:20 PM, said:

Blerg, my daughter has her first official full blown cold, fever and goopy snot included. I mean we made it 8 months before this occurred (which is pretty good; your kid can have up to TEN colds in their first year apparently), but it's still not fun to go through.

The poor little lamb isn't sure what to do with herself, and we are coddling her as best we can to get her through it (amped with an occasionally dose of Children's tylenol to deal with higher/fussier fever segments)...but it's super hard to watch your kid go through something like this and with them having never experienced it before must be beside herself.

Hope the baby is doing better, QT?

I was a very sick baby. Basically kept my parents on their toes. My father still shudders from the memories.

[QuickTidal]

Andorion, on 20 April 2017 - 04:09 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 18 April 2017 - 03:20 PM, said:

Blerg, my daughter has her first official full blown cold, fever and goopy snot included. I mean we made it 8 months before this occurred (which is pretty good; your kid can have up to TEN colds in their first year apparently), but it's still not fun to go through.

The poor little lamb isn't sure what to do with herself, and we are coddling her as best we can to get her through it (amped with an occasionally dose of Children's tylenol to deal with higher/fussier fever segments)...but it's super hard to watch your kid go through something like this and with them having never experienced it before must be beside herself.

Hope the baby is doing better, QT?

She's on the mend we think now. The fever has largely abated, and the conjunctivitis (goopy eye) has cleared up. Still will be a few days yet I'm sure...but she is no longer just leaking mucous from every pore.

Thanks for asking.

[Fid]

Hey Simeon - that is shocking and really sad - my thoughts and condolences for you and your family right now and hope that the search does lead to you all getting some closure on what must be a pretty awful experience.

[Mezla PigDog]

Tiste that is unutterably shit and there are no words to do it justice.

My other half has been discriminated against by his boss for taking 4 weeks off to stay at home with our son. He's been forced off a talent development training course that he had been nominated for. I'm cross. Grrrrr.

[Loki]

Mezla PigDog, on 20 April 2017 - 08:07 PM, said:

My other half has been discriminated against by his boss for taking 4 weeks off to stay at home with our son. He's been forced off a talent development training course that he had been nominated for. I'm cross. Grrrrr.

There has to be a way to protest this, surely?

[Mezla PigDog]

Loki, on 20 April 2017 - 08:15 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 20 April 2017 - 08:07 PM, said:

My other half has been discriminated against by his boss for taking 4 weeks off to stay at home with our son. He's been forced off a talent development training course that he had been nominated for. I'm cross. Grrrrr.

There has to be a way to protest this, surely?

Well naturally it is all veiled under other things and couched wording so to make a stand over a single incident will mark him out as a troublemaker and who has the time or energy for that shit? It's a big time engineering firm with as good as no women in the work force and he's the first person to take more than statutory paternity leave. And his boss is a giant tool.

[worry]

Use violence.

[QuickTidal]

Mezla PigDog, on 20 April 2017 - 09:20 PM, said:

Loki, on 20 April 2017 - 08:15 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 20 April 2017 - 08:07 PM, said:

My other half has been discriminated against by his boss for taking 4 weeks off to stay at home with our son. He's been forced off a talent development training course that he had been nominated for. I'm cross. Grrrrr.

There has to be a way to protest this, surely?

Well naturally it is all veiled under other things and couched wording so to make a stand over a single incident will mark him out as a troublemaker and who has the time or energy for that shit? It's a big time engineering firm with as good as no women in the work force and he's the first person to take more than statutory paternity leave. And his boss is a giant tool.

This is why my wife and I decided not to do paternity leave for me for even a short time, we discussed it...but my work would do EXACTLY that same shit to me. We didn't want to risk it. It's horrible that we can't fight this stuff...but they just use it as an excuse to get in your case about other stuff.

[LadyMTL]

TisteSimeon, that really sounds awful, I hope you and your family are doing ok.

And Mezla, I would definitely try to see what could be done about that situation, because no matter how much they try to sugar coat it or dance around the issue, it basically is discrimination. I understand that sometimes kicking the hornet's nest can be a bad idea, but it's so unfair that his job could be so negatively affected, and all for 4 weeks? I mean, that's an eyeblink in the course of a person's whole career.

As for me, I have also had work-related troubles, though nothing quite as frustrating. I have been with the same company for almost 10 years, and roughly 8 in my current position. We have routine performance evaluations where our work is audited, and the one I had yesterday was so awful I felt like crawling under my chair. I mean it was like I could do absolutely nothing right, other than show up and remember to sit upright in my chair. I have honestly never been given such a bad evaluation, and for the life of me I'm stunned. I could understand after 8 weeks or even 8 months, but 8 years?? Have I been this crap since the beginning and never knew about it? It's not like I'm actively trying to be a lousy employee, after all.
The worst part is that some of my mistakes were differences of opinion, but the boss still considered them mistakes because "I would have done X and you did Y." The nature of my job is that there often is no cut and dry answer, but apparently all of my reasoning is now crazy-wrong, and I'm lucky to still have a job.

Blah. I'm almost in tears just writing about it, that's how bummed I am. Thank Jeebus that I can work from home today.

This post has been edited by LadyMTL: 21 April 2017 - 11:19 AM

[Puck]

I went to work at the bathroom tile seams with bleach and a toothbrush and while the bathroom now looks exceptionally shiny, which is making me happy, my lungs are hating me now due to the bleach fumes despite opening all the windows.

[Tiste Simeon]

Thank you very much everyone I appreciate​ all your kind words. Truly. I'm doing OK and am back in work tomorrow. Still not found my brother's body so we can't organise anything...

Chatting with my parents we don't think he did it to end his life - he had been planning a holiday with friends, was doing well with social services and had just started decorating his flat. He wasn't telling anyone he was depressed or anything and things seemed to be looking up.

However, as I said, he had a host of mental health issues and this meant he had no thought of consequences nor any sense of danger. He was also oddly drawn to the Humber Bridge, and had been stopped trying to climb it before... He's apparently tons a friend that he felt he had to jump off it and this friend managed (so he thought) to dissuade him that this was a bad idea.

The other thing about my brother is that if someone told him something was a bad idea, that was him deciding that he could prove them wrong.

Our thought I'd that he decided he wanted to do it for the sake of being able to do it. Didn't think it was a stupid idea, just felt he had to do it! He tied his coat with his wallet and phone and house keys to the railing and jumped. We wonder if he thought he could go and collect them.

We may be way off or deluding ourselves but I dunno... I guess we'll never know...

Thank you once again for the support and for letting me write far too much about it.