[Adjutant Stormy~]

I'm waxing philosphical but if I post in the DB I'll break my post count!

[beru]

worrywort, on 02 April 2013 - 08:33 PM, said:

beru, on 02 April 2013 - 12:23 PM, said:

indeed, the entire norwegian rail system (and all the roads too come to that) can stick it where the sun don't shine.

In other words...Norway.

Only in winter, In the summer we get MORE sun than the rest of you!

[Silencer]

Adjutant Stormy~, on 02 April 2013 - 06:50 PM, said:

Silencer, on 02 April 2013 - 12:43 PM, said:

Work is now apparently stuck on a post-midnight finish cycle. This is despite literally doubling the number of employees in the past two months. Now, either, the workload perforce must have increased, or looking after the newbies is literally halving the efficacy of the established staff. Otherwise the implications for when we would be finishing without the new people is just...O.o

But the simple fact that we aren't any better off than we were is what really irks me.

Unless you've got the resources to train your newbies, this is bound to happen.

Hiring in anticipation of the shit hitting the fan is the way to go. Not hiring because it hit the fan.

Mmmm, mostly true. We *should* have had an intake a long time ago, but we didn't due to illness on the part of our manager and the fact that no-one else further up the chain thought to do anything about all this in the interim.

*However*, one tends to expect that new recruits who have come out of TWO WEEKS of dedicated training, that they are competent enough not to be a massive burden. This is not the case. It is primarily another fault of management; as I believe I've complained about before in this thread, they choose to go about the training in the wrong way and with the wrong people, leading to making the already-existing-problem-they-should-have-anticipated-and-prevented-months-ago-but-didn't even WORSE. Making for what is probably colloquially referred to as a "nightmare" situation.

It's a multitude of factors, really, but regardless, it's messed up. *sigh* It's gotten to the point where it is getting on my nerves, and I'm pretty pro-work as far as it goes.

[ForkassalOfTheInnerCircle]

I think I've come down with the flu. It's highly inconvenient.

[Satan]

Satan, on 01 April 2013 - 11:09 AM, said:

lastname, on 01 April 2013 - 09:19 AM, said:

Malaria is not fun at all. Ugh I feel drained.

What the fuck are you doing here? Don't you know shit goes viral on the internet. Get out of the Inn before you infect us all!

MTS, on 01 April 2013 - 03:03 PM, said:

It's true. I now have a fever, a splitting headache and I can't sleep. I feel like shit.

ForkassalOfTheInnerCircle, on 03 April 2013 - 06:28 AM, said:

I think I've come down with the flu. It's highly inconvenient.

See? SEE?!

[Tiste Simeon]

Iain Banks has months to live due to cancer :-(
http://m.bbc.co.uk/n...otland-22015175

This post has been edited by Tiste Simeon: 03 April 2013 - 11:05 AM

[Macros]

Didn't win the lottery.
back at work and its cold.
first world...

[Adjutant Stormy~]

There are days, they exist, that I battle an urge to throw myself into the path of an oncoming train.

I don't know if you guys understand it. But I've been that low. I never want to. But going near trains still scares me because I never can know when I might have such an episode.

I've, on multiple ocasions panicked over my ability to kill myself by train.

I'm sorry for foisting this on you guys. But amongst my friends you understand me. At least enough to diagnose me. I am fucking terrified of death. Why the shitting-piss-fuck would I want to die? But still for some reason whenever I'm waiting for the train to come I think it..

What it would be like to throw myself in the front of the train...

[worry]

You've used the word therapist on here, not sure if you're using that term generically or not. Are they not medically qualified to diagnose you?

[worry]

In anticipation of actual treatment, I mean.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

worrywort, on 04 April 2013 - 08:09 AM, said:

You've used the word therapist on here, not sure if you're using that term generically or not. Are they not medically qualified to diagnose you?

I have a medically certified therapist, but pretty much all he does is confirm my bisases..

This post has been edited by Adjutant Stormy~: 04 April 2013 - 08:24 AM

[worry]

Sounds to me like you need someone who will take these concerns seriously. I mean venting here is fine and not unhealthy, but in the real world at that level of depressive thinking a therapist shouldn't see themselves as merely a place to vent for an hour. I mean I can't second guess a professional on a case I know virtually nothing about, but there should be some level of proactive concern on his part IMO.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

You are, of course, right.

[Mezla PigDog]

Adjutant Stormy~, on 04 April 2013 - 07:59 AM, said:

I'm sorry for foisting this on you guys. But amongst my friends you understand me. At least enough to diagnose me. I am fucking terrified of death. Why the shitting-piss-fuck would I want to die? But still for some reason whenever I'm waiting for the train to come I think it..

What it would be like to throw myself in the front of the train...

You shouldn't beat yourself up for thinking it. Linking it to real thoughts of suicide is just giving yourself a hard time. I spend an unreasonable amount of my day on train platforms and as a train is coming in (particularly if an express train is hurtling by) I often think "It would be so easy to kill myself right now". I have no desire to commit suide and have never been suicidal but I still think it! And then that thought process leads me to thinking "What if I think about it too much and then accidentally throw myself under the train because I'm concentrating on that thought?" and then I often start feeling dizzy! By "often", I think it must happen at least once a week (I stand on 4 different train platforms each working day).

The same throught process happens if I'm stood at the top of something tall - on a cliff or high building or bridge. And I have even thought it when looking into animal enclosures at the zoo. Once you start thinking it, you can't stop! I have discussed it with friends and some have said they do it too. It's no biggy, just y'know, don't actually throw yourself under/off/into whatever you are obsessing about

[Fid]

Mezla PigDog, on 04 April 2013 - 12:44 PM, said:

Adjutant Stormy~, on 04 April 2013 - 07:59 AM, said:

I'm sorry for foisting this on you guys. But amongst my friends you understand me. At least enough to diagnose me. I am fucking terrified of death. Why the shitting-piss-fuck would I want to die? But still for some reason whenever I'm waiting for the train to come I think it..

What it would be like to throw myself in the front of the train...

You shouldn't beat yourself up for thinking it. Linking it to real thoughts of suicide is just giving yourself a hard time. I spend an unreasonable amount of my day on train platforms and as a train is coming in (particularly if an express train is hurtling by) I often think "It would be so easy to kill myself right now". I have no desire to commit suide and have never been suicidal but I still think it! And then that thought process leads me to thinking "What if I think about it too much and then accidentally throw myself under the train because I'm concentrating on that thought?" and then I often start feeling dizzy! By "often", I think it must happen at least once a week (I stand on 4 different train platforms each working day).

The same throught process happens if I'm stood at the top of something tall - on a cliff or high building or bridge. And I have even thought it when looking into animal enclosures at the zoo. Once you start thinking it, you can't stop! I have discussed it with friends and some have said they do it too. It's no biggy, just y'know, don't actually throw yourself under/off/into whatever you are obsessing about

We are now going to be anxiously watching you every time you stand on the edge of Hetan and Mal's pond during the BBQ......

[Macros]

Its not an uncommon phenomenon afaik, like Mez said, its 'holy shit this would be easy' situation that then starts to play on your mind. Once something gets in to your subconscious it can be pretty hard to shift.
cliff edges does it for me, even when I was walking home from work in France and the drop over the edge to the rocks/sea below wasn't massive (still serious injury/death mind) I would be glancing over the railings thinking people are bound to chuck themselves off on occasion, it would be easy. The section with the super low wall and no railings I conciously forced myself to walk at the edge of the pavement incase the mad urge to try it and see came upon me.

I'm not a therapist so talk my advice with a hefty handful of salt, but don't read into it too much if its just the train track thought, if you are having deeper troubles and constant darkened thoughts I'll echo what worry said and recommend changing your therapist as they aren't changing anything for you.

[Gothos]

Adjutant Stormy~, on 04 April 2013 - 07:59 AM, said:

There are days, they exist, that I battle an urge to throw myself into the path of an oncoming train.

I don't know if you guys understand it. But I've been that low. I never want to. But going near trains still scares me because I never can know when I might have such an episode.

I've, on multiple ocasions panicked over my ability to kill myself by train.

I'm sorry for foisting this on you guys. But amongst my friends you understand me. At least enough to diagnose me. I am fucking terrified of death. Why the shitting-piss-fuck would I want to die? But still for some reason whenever I'm waiting for the train to come I think it..

What it would be like to throw myself in the front of the train...

Been there, I'm afraid. Way too many times to be comfortable with it...

[Ukjent]

Have I ever mentioned that I really hate people? Arrived to my lodgings after spending the eastern home with my family and don't you think that nobody have the fucking brain to take out the trash?

Spoiler

 IMG_20130404_170953.jpg (1.85MB)
Number of downloads: 0



 IMG_20130404_204637.jpg (2.45MB)
Number of downloads: 2

Seven fucking garbage bags. Why can't people just die..

This post has been edited by Graablick: 04 April 2013 - 07:10 PM

[Lizradusa]

Graablick, on 04 April 2013 - 07:09 PM, said:

Have I ever mentioned that I really hate people? Arrived to my lodgings after spending the eastern home with my family and don't you think that nobody have the fucking brain to take out the trash?

Spoiler

IMG_20130404_170953.jpg



IMG_20130404_204637.jpg

Seven fucking garbage bags. Why can't people just die..

At least you can take comfort in the knowledge that they haven't been standing in the summer sun for 4 weeks . . .
It could be much worse.

[worry]

Ebert, man.