[Illuyankas]

Sounds like she might actually have clinical depression. Maybe suggest she try looking into it and help for it? It's not one of the most common illnesses in the world for nothing.

This post has been edited by Illuyankas: 12 December 2011 - 09:14 PM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

That sounds like quite the dampener. Maybe her getting some help would do some good. I cannot abide sad sacks, particularly those who aren't ill or anything, just habitual. Down at my schoolies my mate who was letting us stay in his house introduced us to a couple of his buddies, and one of them was the biggest freakin' pedant. When we decided to light some bottle rockets on the street and we were having problems, she just sat back, snarked and complained about everything and anything. It was too bad, too, because she seemed so nice.

The bad thing about the girlfriend sleeping over? I already miss her. AND worry about her travelling home by herself. Oh well. It'll be ok.

[Gothos]

I'd have snarked and complained about bottle rockets too, that's fucking obnoxious behaviour.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Gothos, on 13 December 2011 - 10:03 AM, said:

I'd have snarked and complained about bottle rockets too, that's fucking obnoxious behaviour.

But it was fun And it was very out of the way, at 2am. No-one about, in a very small town. There was really no reason to whine.

[Gothos]

If you started launching rockets at 2am in my small town, I'd call the cops

[Centzon Totochtin]

SO would I

[Ain't_It_Just_]

[Silencer]

I'm with Gothos and Centz on that one.

[Shiara]

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[Mezla PigDog]

Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 09:57 AM, said:

AND worry about her travelling home by herself. Oh well. It'll be ok.

I don't know about the other ladies on the board but I really hate it when men worry about me going about my normal business. Yes the world can be a dangerous place but we aren't all fragile flowers that can't get a bus/train/cab without being in danger of being sullied. Besides, being flashed at makes for a highly entertaining party anecdote.

[Loki]

Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 10:05 AM, said:

Gothos, on 13 December 2011 - 10:03 AM, said:

I'd have snarked and complained about bottle rockets too, that's fucking obnoxious behaviour.

But it was fun And it was very out of the way, at 2am. No-one about, in a very small town. There was really no reason to whine.

I'm with Ain't on this one


As another lady (haha, lady!) on the board I have to disagree with you Mezla, I don't think there are enough chivalrous men in the world today. I think Ain't's concern is sweet - if he tried to stop her from going about her own business then it would be an issue. Simply having concern for her safety is good

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Loki, on 13 December 2011 - 11:16 AM, said:

Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 10:05 AM, said:

Gothos, on 13 December 2011 - 10:03 AM, said:

I'd have snarked and complained about bottle rockets too, that's fucking obnoxious behaviour.

But it was fun And it was very out of the way, at 2am. No-one about, in a very small town. There was really no reason to whine.

I'm with Ain't on this one


As another lady (haha, lady!) on the board I have to disagree with you Mezla, I don't think there are enough chivalrous men in the world today. I think Ain't's concern is sweet - if he tried to stop her from going about her own business then it would be an issue. Simply having concern for her safety is good

Hahaha cheers Loki And yeah, I don't go around telling her how to do her thing, I just worry like some quibbling old git And she got home safe so it's all good.

[Tapper]

QuickTidal, on 12 December 2011 - 08:39 PM, said:

Okay, this just messes with my groove on a "humanity" scale: This girl I work with, she's about my age and she's drop-dead gorgeous. Like the kind of girl you'd look at and think "WOW, she should be a model" right? So that's the kind of girl I'd normally think "Wow, she's got the world on a string, could have any guy she wants"...ect. Well today she's debbie downer, and starts talking about how she doesn't want kids because she can't be bothered, she doesn't think she'll ever have enough money to be comfortable, she doesn't think she'll ever find a guy who will fit her criteria, doesn't have any drive to travel, doesn't have any drive to even leave her home town...the list of downer-ness went on and on...so then I started to think "Gods, this is the reason she's single!" No dude is going to want to be with someone who is so down about the world no matter how gorgeous she is. It just kind of irks me because I think of all the really amazing girls who might not be the best looking who get totally passed over for someone like this girl (who guys will be drawn to for her looks)...and they end up with a really hot, sad bucket of despresso.

Now I am friends with this girl, but if I talk to her for longer than ten minutes I want to slit my own wrists. It's like something crushed every ounce of her spirit. It makes me thank the powers that be that I found Mrs. QT and that the majority of time she is quite upbeat and actually has hopes and dreams.

Ugh, anyways, just talked to her and another co-worker for 20 minutes and now I just feel sad for humanity.

Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 09:57 AM, said:

I cannot abide sad sacks, particularly those who aren't ill or anything, just habitual.

The fact that you cannot abide them, as you put it, is really going to help them. /sarcasm.
I actually take offense at your statement. Read on for why.

I quite understand her. Sometimes, you feel just that you don't have the time or the opportunity to pursuit your dreams, or that the opportunity has passed you by without having taken it up. You can't just replace such a dream when it shatters with something else. At the same time, you also realise that to continue hoping it may one day come true is also not going to help you. I think it is a phase we all go through - look at the amount of divorces, and see the disenchantment that comes with a lot of marriages. Singles get it, too. Working people, who realise they're part of the machine now and can't quit to travel, or for whom promotion is not going to be in easy reach.

With women, there is the added time pressure of the ideal age of child birth. There is a reason why there are so many single women of 28-35 really desperate for a stable relationship: it's the clock that's ticking for them before they enter an age where child birth has increased chances at complications. I've dated girls that say at the first date that they want kids within two years. They're that upfront - better to scare off the guy on date 1 than invest in him and break up over this issue when you are emotionally committed.

And beautiful girls? Y'see, the thing is, like QT says: you think she can get any man she wants. Are you going to approach her? No, probably not, because she can get any man, why would she go for average you?
So can she get you? Not really, because you're not going to make the effort towards her as you've already disqualified yourself, and you might actually be a bit suspicious of her intentions if she approaches you.

So from whom does she get attention? Well, confident sons of bitches who see her as a good lay, and who gain more confidence (and may move on) when they get her. Dogs that want to hump her leg or drool over her to look popular with their mates. People who go for the outside. Her boss at work, who relishes a fresh little morsel. And those are also the people who will move on to the next golden maned long legged creature when she walks past. Decent stable BF who will be really, really happy with her is not going to be in her life unless she's lucky and decent stable BF-guy makes a move for her, or reacts to her show of interest, or decent stable BF-guy is also beautiful and really confident.

I know a girl who is a ridiculously beautiful redhead. Charming, talented, works at a law firm as PR agent. Completely disenchanted with life. Her boyfriends/ lovers are either high in the firm (usually married), or newly started lawyers whose heads are filled with dreams of money and the rich life, or minor celebrities who she meets at the upscale cocktail parties for the rich and famous in her network.

They all tend to be shitheads - but she dates them. Why? Because they approach her, because they pay her attention and start off by showing affection. They make her feel wanted. Most women hate her guts - I think she has very few real friends. The only guys outside of that crashing love life are those valued by her are the ones she can talk to - but she cherishes that so much that she's never going to date any of them for fear of breaking that fail safe. So yeah, vicious circle.

Now, sure, that is at the very least partly her fault for fishing in the wrong pond - but through 6 years of high school and 4 of university (perhaps more), she never found a good guy either, before the career circle started to come involved. But yeah, you'll perhaps find her in a corner of a restaurant in a city somewhere in Europe, and wonder why that gorgeous creature looks so sad and is on her own. And then you go on clubbing with your mates, having a good time.

So don;t tell me you can't abide such people. They're people too, and most people have issues. End of story.

[Tapper]

Mezla PigDog, on 13 December 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 09:57 AM, said:

AND worry about her travelling home by herself. Oh well. It'll be ok.

I don't know about the other ladies on the board but I really hate it when men worry about me going about my normal business. Yes the world can be a dangerous place but we aren't all fragile flowers that can't get a bus/train/cab without being in danger of being sullied. Besides, being flashed at makes for a highly entertaining party anecdote.

I was going to say that in my experience, women hate patronizing bfs, but considering my rather harsh reply on the other issue I decided against it

This post has been edited by Tapper: 13 December 2011 - 11:26 AM

[Loki]

I'm with Ain't again on that one. Everyone has issues - doesn't mean I want to hear about them incessantly.

[Tapper]

Loki, on 13 December 2011 - 11:29 AM, said:

I'm with Ain't again on that one. Everyone has issues - doesn't mean I want to hear about them incessantly.

Then perhaps you shouldn't read this thread, Loki.

[King Lear]

Mezla PigDog, on 13 December 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 09:57 AM, said:

AND worry about her travelling home by herself. Oh well. It'll be ok.

I don't know about the other ladies on the board but I really hate it when men worry about me going about my normal business. Yes the world can be a dangerous place but we aren't all fragile flowers that can't get a bus/train/cab without being in danger of being sullied. Besides, being flashed at makes for a highly entertaining party anecdote.

I'm with Mez on this one. I'm perfectly capable of coming to conclusions about my safety on my own.

Besides, chivalry is a literary concept and nothing much more.

[Loki]

Tapper, on 13 December 2011 - 11:31 AM, said:

Loki, on 13 December 2011 - 11:29 AM, said:

I'm with Ain't again on that one. Everyone has issues - doesn't mean I want to hear about them incessantly.

Then perhaps you shouldn't read this thread, Loki.

I don't read it incessantly so I have no issues with it

[Tsundoku]

Tapper, on 13 December 2011 - 11:25 AM, said:

The only guys outside of that crashing love life are those valued by her are the ones she can talk to - but she cherishes that so much that she's never going to date any of them for fear of breaking that fail safe. So yeah, vicious circle.

Ahhhh ... good old Ladder Theory.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

And this is why she fails.

[Loki]

Sombra, on 13 December 2011 - 11:45 AM, said:

Tapper, on 13 December 2011 - 11:25 AM, said:

The only guys outside of that crashing love life are those valued by her are the ones she can talk to - but she cherishes that so much that she's never going to date any of them for fear of breaking that fail safe. So yeah, vicious circle.

Ahhhh ... good old Ladder Theory.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

And this is why she fails.

I'll accept this theory for it is the man who can't be friends with women he finds attractive and not the woman.